These Secrets Are Killing Me

"Daddy please don't do this!" Jesse begged, I just ignored it and walked out of the hospital wing. How could she sit there and tell me don't do this, her Mom broke my heart. I can't even believe Lyn could do this to me. When we broke up in college I thought I would never find her again, and after all those years thinking I was in love with Eliza and then I saw Lyn again. I knew right then and there right love was and sure as hell wans;t whatI had with Eliza. I love this girl with all of my heart and I thought I proved it, if this was God's way of punishing me for leaving my family for touring I learned my lesson.

I waited for the elevator to hurry up so I could escape my life for a minute or two. Finally after two minutes of just waiting I heard the ding and the doors open. I pressed the floor button and waited for the doors to close. The closed and brought me to the main wing of the hospital. I walked out of the hospital and walked to my car, I got in and started the car. I pelle out of the hospital's parking lot and just drove. I passed my lawyers office and passed up our house, I passed my parents house, I passed the New Jersey state line. Where I was going no one would ever know, hell I didn't even know.

===*===
Lyn-Zs POV

I woke up in Jesse's room only to find her bed was empty. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the door, I looked everywhere frantically for her or Gerard. "Jesse!" I yelled. Oh God what if they both left me, I can't handle that. I need her for once in my life I need my baby girl, to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Someone to love me no matter what my flaws, I know Jesse would be that person. After all I'm her Mother.

"Mrs. Way have you seen Jesse?" Justin came up and asked. Justin was a very nice boy. He was very handsome and such a caring young man, although I wish she would have gone with someone her own age. That's a different story right now, my daughter is missing. I stared at him my mouth agape I probably looked like a goldfish. His green eyes just stared back at me, the tears brimming the edges of his almond shaped eyes.

"No I thought maybe-"

"Lyn come here!" Bob yelled cutting me off. I looked over at him and his main squeeze for the month. I looked over at Justin and told him with my eyes to follow me, we both ran over to were Bob was. It looked like a family reunion in the hallway; my parents were there, Gerard's parents were there, Mikey, Frank, Bob, Ray, Alicia, Christi(Ray's wife), and last but not lest Bob's main squeeze. They were all surrounding someone I thought maybe was Gerard, but I was proved wrong when they let out a girlish scream. That scream only belonged to one person and that person was Jesse.

I pushed past them and finally came face to face with my daughter, who looked like she was just in a tragic car accident. Her hair was everywhere, you could tell she was trying her hardest to pierce her skin with her nails. The skin on her wrist was puffy and red. I placed to fingers under her chin and lifted her head up. She kept her eyes focused on the floor and refused to look at me.

"Jesse look at me." I said, wiping her tears away. I looked around for a tissue or something to clean her nose with. But with no luck I used her hospital gown.

"Mommy I-I-I can't look at y-y-you." She said.

"Why not Jesse?"

"B-be-bec-because I let you d-dow-down."

"No you didn't Jesse. I know you did all you could, it's okay. Don't cry no more. You'll make yourself sick."

"Mommy he's g-goi-going to file for a d-divorce."

===*===
Gerard's POV

I pulled into Pete Wentz's bar Angels and Kings. The place was kinda low key when it came to paparazzi and it wasn't as packed as it used to be. Which Iliked loved. I put my keys into a my pocket and walked into the bar, to be met with a loud blast of music and the scent of alcohol. The smell burned my nose and my mouth began to water it had only been a week since my last drink. I walked over to the bar and sat on a bar stool. I ordered all kinds of drinks, mixed with God only knows what kind of alcohol.

She reminds me of the one in school
When I was cuttin'
She was dressed in white
And I couldn't take my eyes off her
But that's not what I took off that night

She'll never cover up what we did with her dress, no
She said kiss me
It'll heal
But it won't forget
Kiss me
It'll heal
But it won't forget

And I don't mind you keepin' me
On pins and needles
If I could stick to you
And you stick me too

Don't break
Don't break my heart
And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high

Don't break
Don't break my heart
And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high
And making me low
That blue is getting me high
And making me low

She reminds me of a one I knew
That cut up the negatives of my life
I couldn't take my hands off her
She wouldn't let me be anywhere but inside

And I don't mind you keepin' me
On pins and needles
If I could stick to you
And you stick me too

Just don't break
Don't break my heart
And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high

Don't break
Don't break my heart
And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high
And making me low

She'll never cover up what we did with her dress, no
She said kiss me
It'll heal
But it won't forget
Kiss me
It'll heal
But it won't forget

I don't mind you keepin' me
On pins and needles
If I could stick to you
And you stick me too

Don't break
Don't break my heart
And I I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high

Don't break
Don't break my heart
And I I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high
And making me low

Then I heard the song that brought me tears for some strange reason. It reminded me the reason why I'm here, why I'm drinking away my problems. If I listened to the lyrics just right it was like this song was made for me. I handed the bartender my cell phone.

"Call my family and tell them I'm never coming home."