Collectively Unconsciously Composed

“I’ve been very pleased with your work recently,” Shannon said into the phone as I smiled. “Keep it up,” she said curtly before hanging up.

Shannon giving out compliments wasn’t very common, and it made me feel good that I had pleased her. I tucked my phone back into my pocket and sat back down on the beat up sofa in the greenroom. The boys were currently onstage and since I had taken more than enough pictures earlier during their set, I had decided to go backstage and relax. However, there really never was any “relaxing” at a concert.

I picked my laptop up from the table and tucked my legs underneath me as I sat it on my lap. I opened Facebook to see if anything interesting was happening back home (which there wasn’t) and stopped when the name of a news article caught my eye.

“Harry Styles Ex-Girlfriend May Luxton seen strolling hand-in-hand with new boyfriend James Morgenstein.”

I groaned as I continued to scroll through the article.

“It appears that yesterday afternoon, May and new boyfriend, James, were seen walking through Hyde Park. May’s baby bump is surely showing, as she is three months along now. Rumors are still speculating that ex-boyfriend Harry Styles is responsible for the baby on the way. May refuses to confirm or deny the speculation, but we have had no such luck in contacting Mr. Styles. The One Direction star is often perceived as a womanizer, but have his scandals gone too far this time? What do you think: Is Harry responsible for May’s pregnancy, and should he do something about it?”

“This is complete bullshit,” I said to myself as I shut the lid of my laptop and stood up.

Harry and May’s relationship had ended a month ago, and Harry was still getting shit for it. I knew he still felt miserable about the whole May situation, and I could really tell it was eating away at him. Thankfully the fans still seemed to be on Harry’s side, but once in a while, the hateful comments would get to him. Liam liked to call those moments “Harry time.”

I sighed before pulling my beat up Uggs on and grabbing my light blue jumper from the armrest. I popped a grape in my mouth from the food table before exiting the room. I shivered, pulling my jumper tighter around me as I walked to the side stage door. Personally, my favorite spot was right in front of the barriers; you were close enough to experience the concert from the fan’s point of view, and close enough to really see the boys.

I waved hello to the security guards blocking the door as they moved aside and let me through. I glanced around to see Lou standing right near the entrance to the barrier as I smiled and made my way over to her.

“Hello Lou,” I greeted her with a smile as she gave me a hug.

“It’s so good to see you,” she smiled as she pulled away. “You need to come watch from side stage more often,” she scolded as I giggled.

“And you need to watch from in front of the barriers,” I said as she raised an eyebrow. “Seriously, you’ll never get a view like that,” I said as she nodded her head.

“Actually, the crowd seems pretty tame tonight. Want to give it a go after this song?” She asked as I grinned.

I grabbed her hand and led her to the security guard that was blocking the entrance to the barriers. He nodded as Lou and I passed him and entered the concert.

The screaming was deafening and the hot sweaty atmosphere made me wish I had left my jumper in the greenroom. Due to the blizzard that was currently unraveling outside, the arena had insisted on cranking the heat to 80°. I groaned, feeling the beads of perspiration beginning to form on my forehead. I could tell Lou was feeling the same way as she gave me a small frown. I quickly threw my hair into a bun and made my way closer to the catwalk. I had to avoid the hands trying to grab at Lou, and me but I knew security would intervene if necessary.

The boys were currently performing Little Things, one of my favorites. After Louis had scolded me for never listening to One Direction I had no choice but to listen to their albums. Their music was actually pretty good, a nice range of musical styles. However, out of all of their albums, Little Things was definitely my favorite, although I would never admit it to any of the guys.

I looked up to see Zayn was walking over to Lou and I as the girls behind us screamed. I stuck my tongue out at Zayn, who laughed and continued to sit down in front of us, legs dangling off the stage. The song had ended and Niall was currently giving his speech of the night as the rest of the guys went to go get water.

“How’re you ladies liking the show?” Zayn shouted, trying to be heard over the screaming. I knew he would never be able to hear Lou or me so I just gave him a thumbs up.

He laughed and gave us a thumbs up before standing up and walking over to join the rest of the guys.

******

The rest of the set was amazing, and Lou was still thanking me as she parted to help clean up. I told her it was no problem and that she could join me anytime when I took pictures. She heartily agreed and she made me promise to come visit her more often when during the night.

We had to be on the buses and on the road by midnight tonight, as we had to drive all the way to Los Angeles from Salt Lake City. It was currently 11:30 and I was frantically trying to find my laptop before the buses left. I was tearing the greenroom apart trying to find it, but it was nowhere to be seen.

“Whoa Scout, what happened?” Louis chuckled as I turned to face him, a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

“I can’t find my laptop,” I said quietly as he raised an eyebrow.

“Does it have a big pink whale sticker on it?” He asked as I nodded slowly. “I saw Harry with it back on the bus. I’m not sure where he’s at actually,” he said, trailing off.

“Thanks Louis,” I said, attempting to straighten out the mess I had created. Louis walked over to me and kneeled down to help pick up the clothes that were strewn amongst the room.

“Anytime S,” he said with a smile.

We were talking about our favorite Harry Potter movies when Louis phone began to ring. I giggled as Rihanna’s Diamonds began to play. Louis stuck his tongue out at me before standing up and answering the call. He motioned that he had to take the call as I waved him away. I finished cleaning up and made my way back to the bus. A security guard had to escort me due to the storm and the fans. I thanked him and hopped onto the heated bus. I looked to see Niall was munching on a Chipotle burrito, Zayn fast asleep, and Liam watching a film; Harry was nowhere to be found. I waved at Liam and Niall before making my way over to my bunk. I saw my laptop was on my pillow, the lid slightly opened. I gulped before fully opening the computer to see the article about May. I groaned when the realization that Harry had seen the article. I placed the laptop back down on my bunk and raced to the front of the bus.

“Have you seen Harry?” I asked quickly as both Liam and Niall looked up.

“He left a few minutes before you got here. Don’t know where he was off to,” Liam said as I groaned.

“Why, what’s up?” Niall piqued as I rubbed my temples.

“I was reading an article about May and Harry. Yeah I know don’t give me that look,” I said, motioning to Liam’s look of disproval. “And I left it up on my laptop and I guess Harry read it,” I said quickly as Niall frowned.

“Well, best go find him Scout before we take off for LA,” Niall said as I sighed.

I reached for the nearest jacket and threw that on over my jumper. I waved goodbye to the guys before jumping off the bus and walking briskly to the arena. I waved at the fans that were still waiting and hurried into the overly heated venue. I shook the snow out of my hair and hurried over to Lou.

“Have you seen Harry?” I asked quickly as she shook her head.

“Why?” She asked as I looked over her shoulders to see if I could find the familiar curly-haired boy.

“Long story short, Harry is having a Harry moment and it’s my fault and I just need to find him,” I said as she frowned. She was about to say something when I heard screaming outside. She raised an eyebrow as I raced back outside.

I saw a familiar mess of brown curls walking back toward the bus. He was just in a flannel shirt and black skinny jeans, his white converse barely visible through the snow on the ground. Without a moment’s hesitation, I ran full speed to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He let out a noise of surprise, but wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I’m so sorry Harry, this is all my fault. If I hadn’t been so fucking stupid and left the article on-“ I was stopped as he pressed me closer to his chest.

“It’s not your fault S,” he mumbled into my hair. His voice was husky, as if he’d been crying. My suspicion was confirmed when I looked to see red rings around his eyes.

I stood on my tiptoes and cupped his face in my hands, wiping away any excess tears that escaped. He sighed and pushed me away, turning to face the other way.

“I’m so tired of all this bullshit that they keep making up,” he said, his back still facing me. “It’s wearing me down and sometimes I just don’t think I’m good enough,” he said.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his middle once again, his back pressed to my chest. I could faintly hear the sounds of screaming fans in the background, but all I was focused on right now was Harry. I knew Harry was embarrassed to turn and face me, something I found endearing.

“You are good enough Harry,” I mumbled into his back. “You are and you need to believe that,” I said, feeling the muscles in his back contract.

I released my grip on his torso as he turned to face me. Snowflakes were getting stuck on his long lashes, his breath coming out in small puffs. He gave me a small smile as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Thank you,” Harry said, dropping his hand to his side.

I frowned as he stepped away to walk back to the bus. I took large strides to catch up to him and stop him before he entered the bus. I pressed two hands to his chest as he gave me a look of surprise. I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. I lightly pressed my lips to Harry’s, enough so they barely touched. I dropped my hands and walked back to the bus without another word.