"Mother" of the Year

Two weeks.

I’ve tried calling him. I’ve tried texting him.
I tried to find him at his day job. I tried to find him at his night job.
I even tried the café.

There was no trace of him for two weeks.

“I don’t know what to do, Mikael. I really shouldn’t feel this devastated about it, but…”

It was our lunch break, and I really needed someone to talk to.

“Well, you essentially went through the same thing that killed his husband, right? I’m not a psychologist, but I know reliving a trauma like that can really damage someone. I know that you truly liked him and wanted to help him. All I can say is do your best to try to find him and talk to him.”

I nodded as a response.

“On a lighter note: how’d your students do on their papers?”
“All of them passed. I don’t know what they were so worried about. I’m not that bad of a teacher.”

Mikael gave me a knowing look before taking a sip from his coffee.

“Yeah, yeah. I could do better and not cause my students the extra stress for my amusement, but that’s beside the point.”

He took another sip from his coffee before giving me a serious look.

“How did Kyle’s confession go?”
“He got cold feet the first day he went back from break. After two weeks of him pep-talking himself, he said he was going to confess today. I’m sure you can tell how stressed I am.”

I rubbed my wrist out of habit. Mikael placed his hand on top of mine to stop me.

“Remember what I said. The worst thing that can happen is that the kid says ‘no’.”
“Right…”

I looked at my watch before standing up from my chair.

“You’re going back to class already?”
“I thought I’d organize a few things before the next class starts.”

He gave me a concerned look.

“Is something else bothering you, Alec? You know you can tell me.”
“I know. Everything else is okay. I promise.”

I knew he didn’t believe me, but he let it go for now.

“I’ll see you later.”

I left the breakroom, but rushed to the bathroom and into one of the stalls.
I put down the lid of the toilet and sat down, pulling out my phone.

My hands trembled as I read through the texts again.

“Worthless.”
“Ruined my life.”
“Disappointment.”
“I want my son back. It’s your fault he’s a faggot. I’ll raise him to be better, unlike you.”

I put my phone back into my pocket and dug into the other one, feeling the all-too-familiar razor.
I pulled it out, feeling a wave of guilt, fear, and temptation wash over me.

I rolled up my left sleeve to expose my wrist, staring at the all-too-familiar scar, before positioning the razor over it.

“You promised Mikael that you wouldn’t even look at a razor again…” I mumbled to myself.

“Yeah. You promised me…”

I felt my heart drop into my stomach at the sound of Mikael’s voice.

“Open the door, Alec. Please…”

I didn’t move. I couldn’t move.

“Please…! Neither of us can relive this. I refuse to find my best friend alone, bleeding out on the floor again!”

I dropped the razor and opened the door. He didn’t hesitate to pull me into his arms with tears in his eyes.
Tears fell from my eyes as well.

“I’m sorry…! I’m so sorry…! I know I promised…!”
He only hugged me tighter.

“Fuck our classes. We need to talk, okay?”

| x | x | x |

I sat in the car, still on edge from earlier.

I can’t believe I almost relapsed. Five years of progress almost lost.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair before glancing at the clock.

“He should be out soon…”
I never want Kyle to see me this stressed, but since I’m his ride home, I have no choice.

The school bell rang, and soon, kids were rushing out the doors.

Kyle was one of the last kids out, and he looked dejected.

Fuck.

The car door opened, and he sat inside.

“Hey buddy. How’d it go…?”
He looked up at me with sad eyes and stared at me for a bit before his expression changed.

“I guess we both had a rough day, huh…?”
I smiled sadly at him.

“Yeah…”
“Wanna go get pizza?”
“Yeah. Let’s get some pizza.”

| x | x | x |

“Are you ready to tell me what happened, Kyle?”
He nodded, finishing a slice of pizza.

“Jason said no. He actually said I was gross for liking him, he called me the f-word, and he said that he’d never want to be near me ever again. On the bright side, my teacher and some of my classmates defended me. So that was cool, I guess…”

He paused.

“Dad…is there something wrong with me liking Jason?”

I bit down on my lip.

“No, son. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with who you choose to like. There are just people out there who can’t understand that people have different attractions. Then, those people raise their kids to believe the same.”

He stared at me for a bit, then smiled.

“Honestly, I think I dodged a bullet anyway. He pushed Jessica off the slide one time and wouldn’t share his snacks with Alex after he shared some of his with Jason.”

“I think so too, buddy.”