My Dad, My World : The Battle

The after life… no matter how violent it could get sometimes, it was really quite lovely of a process to

witness. Yes, maybe we all miss the fact that evil is just as present as beauty is when it comes to

getting close to the afterlife, but when dad gives his whole life to both sides, you see that the result is

beautiful more times than none. I would take the evil everyday if it meant creating beauty for a lost one

and his family if not just his peace of mind. They all have their own story. Just like my mom, who was

born a sweet person, who was great in school and excelled on things. Who made bad decisions but

made up for them by picking other people to hang out with. Where she met my dad and got married

and bought a home and had a daughter. She died too young, but she lived a gorgeous life inside and

out and for others.

Today had been bright. The sky was blue and the clouds were puffy. But the unusual thing was the

unseasonal weather that we were having. It felt like fall. Don’t get me wrong, it was that time. Had we

been on the other side of the country, it would've been the start of the leaves falling off the trees.

September was usually still really hot here in vegas. We usually didn't start seeing all the pretty colors

until mid October, mine and dads favorite time of year. Dad and I always went wild with our festivities.

I’m sure we can all remember our party this past year and the negativity that became of that. But for

the most part it was friggin awesome! But I was thinking this year I would be more homey about it. A

little more old fashioned. The list of things in my head all seemed cute. Apple diving, glow in the dark

spiderwebs hanging off the corners of our porch. Bowls of candy with pop up hands in them, streamers

and pumpkin lights. Dad and I would carve jack-o-lanters and put small candles inside. We could

caramelize some apples. I personally wanted to have a family halloween party where we all dressed up

and danced to old music.

The urge to smell pumpkin spice in the air, to feel the crisp breeze, to witness the beauty of falling

leaves, was indescribable. Dad will be so happy. And this year I planned on treating him with pumpkin

pie, his favorite. I missed our times with mom. How she would be a witch every year. How beautiful she

would look with the green makeup smothering her face and hands.

“You look just like your mom.” Dads voice floated to me from the doorway of the kitchen. I looked to

him and saw the pain in his eyes. Sometimes it felt like a burden that I looked like the woman he loved,

like the woman's death he thought he had caused. The fact that there was nothing I could do about it

made it worse sometimes, but I cherished that even though it was hard for him, I knew that seeing her

face everyday lets him know that she's still here. With his proof from Persephone, he was kind of going

mad. I can openly admit that he’s been obsessed with what had happened with us going to a small

corner of heaven. Of course we all know that he wants to figure it out so he can tell the world. But I

think he also knows that if he did they would put his ass in an insane asylum with no trouble at all.

When it comes to angels and demons and thinking they are actually among us…even the uber religious

would throw a fit about him being crazy. I can also assure you all that no matter what dad thinks he’s

figuring out, the workers above us aren’t going to let it slip. It'll be changed or something like that. It’s

heaven after all, who knows what they can and cant do. Considering i’ve only seen a small portion then

I know that much more is to be there. I’ve been to a small place that mimics the rolling emerald hills of

Ireland, and the pastures of lush green that resemble any country meadow, and knowing! that it’s a

SMALL PORTION, it makes me wonder what it looks like in the rest of heaven. I marked that down as a

question to ask Persephone the next time I saw her.

“Yea, I know.” I replied with a frown. He came and sat down next to me, a look of pure dad on his face.

“It’s ok. I know you know. It does hurt. but its ok. Your beautiful and I couldn't ask for a better

daughter.”

“ Thanks dad.” I paused. I wanted to spend time with him. Our throw down at the barn last year was

pretty serious. Dad was still sore and it showed every time he had to pinch his side in pain. And after

not seeing him for several days before it happened when he had went missing, I wanted nothing more

than to spend time with him. Sam had work today so I tried my hardest to find out something I could

do with dad. With all this thinking about halloween…

“Lets go halloween shopping dad. We need to get a head start.” I said and he shook his head in

agreement.

“But I think we should hold back this year you know? Take a different approach.” I added and while on

our way to our local halloween goody store, I explained to him my previous thoughts about going the

cute way, he was excited to get some things.

“We should have a family party too dad. Me, you, Jess and the baby, grandma, grandpa, Nick and his

babies and Veronique, Arron and his girlfriend, Billy and his wife, the dogs. I think it'll be a nice touch

this year. Considering.”

“I think thats a wonderful idea. I’ll call the guys later this evening so they can get trip preparations

going. Plus I’m sure Aaron’s going to want plenty of time to look for the perfect costume.” Dad said. His

mood had been exceptionally better as I’m sure you can imagine with there NOT being a demon inside

him anymore. But it was just such a relief to be able to even talk to my dad without getting either yelled

at or just straight up ignored. The thing was, theres always been a dark side to him. Being a ghost

hunter of course thats going to make you a bit somber. It is death after all. Not even God could fix such

a willing heart as his. not that he wasn't worthy of being saved but there is only so much you can do

with a soul that takes the pain from spirits who are trapped and just want to be set free. Dad wouldn't

be completely free until he was up there with mom. Thats where his other half is. The half of him thats

been void all this time and been occupied by demons and lost souls.

With the gifts I have been given, I’ll be able to keep dad especially safe now. I’ll be able to protect him

in every way possible. To be quite honest I didn't ever want him to go on a lock down that didn't involve

me. He will never be left alone on a lockdown ever again. A big one was coming up. They were going

back to salem Massachusetts to see if they could get more responses from the hundreds of women and

children who had died at the hand of false accusations. or were they? The witch trials were gruesome

and vulgar and just down right disgusting when it came to the murders of these young people. But I

guess it isn't that hard to believe that people were killed out of fear. Such holy people too is what

amazes me most. Yea I know it happened, but it’s just such a hard thing to wrap my mind around. It

seems exciting though, I never get to learn the history of places when I go to them. Watching the

show, then yeah, but being there and experiencing it’s way better. Plus it seems less of a place to be

possessed.

Currently dad had a witch hat on his head and I was trying to get a few shots of him while pretending

to text. Unfortunately I got caught.

“Taylor, don’t. I’ll ground you.” he said sternly but the smile on his face said otherwise.

All of a sudden everything stopped. Nothing moved and my heart froze. My body heat up and then I

could feel myself falling to the floor. A bright light shown and I could tell then that I was having another

vision. It had been such a long time since I had had one that I didn't remember what it was like.

Terrible. All it was was mom. In the meadow of course, gorgeously wrapped in light lavender silk. She

smiled and walked closer to me.

“I need you to tell your dad something for me.” she said.

I shook my head yes, coaxing her to go on.

“I want him to find somebody.” she said.

“Find somebody? Who are you looking for mom? “ I asked but she just giggled and shook her head.

“Taylor Bagans, I want your dad to be happy. I want you to help him find somebody that will take care

of him in ways that neither I nor you can.” As she spoke I felt my eyes pop open in disbelieve. I

understood what she was saying but…

“He wont do it. you know he won’t.” I replied.

“Yes he will.”

“Mom, wha-why are you doing this?” I shook my head and tried to rid the image of any other woman

being with my dad.

“Taylor, please! This will make me feel better. He wont hurt so much so I wont hurt so much. Everyone

wins sweetie.” she begged.

“No…no, i can’t…it cant be that way. Theres no replacement, nothing will ever cover the pain. Don’t you

know that?!”

“It will give him solitude. Are you talking about him…or are you talking about you?” she asked and I felt

my breath give way and the lump start swelling in my throat. I closed my eyes and tried to think about

this. I knew she was right. I …couldn’t imagine another family. I couldn't imagine trying to fill dads void

half with someone other than who BELONGED there. It didn't make sense to me.

“Listen baby, its ok to feel this way. I know you miss me, you both do and you always will. But I didm

my hardest to give your dad some closure. I gave him a freedom that he's been looking for. “

“Taylor!…daddy’s here.” dads voice floated in the air above us and I could tell I was starting to drift back

to the present.

“Do this for him taylor. do this for dad. Give him peace.” mom said and walked to me, embracing me in

a hug that was soon replaced with dads loving grip on me. I groaned and tried to open my blood

stained eyes. My head was killing me.

“Jesus taylor…are you ok?” dad whispered while he handed me a tissue to wipe my tears. people were

standing at either end of the isle that we were in. I didn't want to scare anybody so I shoved my face in

dads chest and shook my head yes, continuing to wipe my tears. an employee was there with some

water and I smiled to her in gratitude when I had gotten myself together enough to face the public. At

the same time I took the water, dad reached a hand out and in it held two small white tylanol. And boy

did I need that.

“Thank you. I’m ok now.” I said and the employee nodded her head, leaving dad and I to stand up.

“Another vision?” dad asked. Everything flooded back. I remembered moms wish. The thought of it sent

a shock shooting through my whole body, but I looked up to dad and reminded myself that no matter

how much I hated it, mom was right. Dad needed someone to give him a happiness here on earth that

I wouldn't be able to give him. and…I had to help.

“Yeah. come on, lets pay and go home. I’ll explain everything while we make dinner, ok?” I asked

hoping he wouldn't put up a fit and pry. Luckily, he didn’t.

“Yea sure. your ok though?”

I smiled and nodded my head yes and pushed our cart to one of the many ungodly over filled lines.

*************************

At this point, all I wanted to do was go to bed without dinner. my vision had made me feel bad for two

reasons. One because moms request was still just too much. And two because the literal feeling it had

given me was an aching head and an upset stomach. I didn't know how much food I was going to be

able to hold down and I was in no mood for puking my guts up. But, I stood by dads side, stirring the

pasta he had boiling in a pot while he chopped some tomatoes for a secret sauce recipe from grandma.

We kept the mood low. The music was low and was smooth jazz, something we rarely listened too but

our usual techno or heavy metal wasn't what we really wanted to end our night with. We kept the lights

now, which I specifically enjoyed for my ponding headache. The TV was on but we kept it mute. The

only thing missing was the use of our fireplace. It never got cold enough to use it so we never ever got

the opportunity. I was hoping really bad that this year it would drop several degrees, considering our

unusual weather today. I made another note to ask persephone about what she might be able to do

about that.

“It’s not a bad thing…for you.” I started. I watched him slice into his second tomato.

“It was mom. She wants you to do something. I don’t like it but…unfortunately she's right about it’s

possible outcome.”

“Taylor, let’s get to the point, shall we?” he could tell I was stalling. if I had felt better, I would have

laughed. I sat myself up on the counter next to the stove.

“Well I don’t know what to think of it.” I started.

“That pasta isn't going to stir itself.” he glanced at the bubbling pot of noodles. I quickly picked up the

wooden spoon that I had been using to make the noodles swim and started again.

“Whoops, sorry.” I said and dad smiled at me.

“So mom wants me to do something?”

“I dont think your going to do it though.” I said lowly.

“Oh come on, i’ll accept a challenge any day.” he said playfully and put up his arm and flexed it. I shook

my head and laughed. I honestly wasn't sure how he was going to take this. I was scared to tell him,

afraid to hurt him. I knew mom meant it out of love but I feared that dad would take it as a sign that

maybe mom didn't love him anymore and I really didn't want him thinking that.

“Dad…mom wants you to….ok look. You know mom loves you right?” I asked and watched dads cutting

come to a hold with one really loud crack sound on the cutting board, and then he started again trying

to play it off.

“Yea of course I know she loves me.”

“Well she means this out of complete love so don’t think that she loves you any less ok?”

“Ok I won’t.” he said.

I took a deep breath and looked at dads face. I tried to measure how well he was taking this so far and

he seemed to be doing ok. But then again, this was Zak Bagans we were talking about here. Yes he is

strong but he is also human.

“She wants you to…find..someone.” I worded slowly.

“Find who?”

“No, dad,” I jumped down off of the counter and took the knife from his hands. “she wants you to find

someone special. Someone for you.”

It took him a few seconds to process but slowly I could see him coming to terms with her request. He

looked down and shook his head yes.

“I understand. She's trying to lessen the pain.” He said and smiled softly. “a good woman she is.”

“I told her you weren't going to do it. I mean…mom. She's the love of your life and I know you would

neve-“

“Im doing it.” he said turning back to the counter and taking the knife from me.

“What?!”

Dad turned his face to me and his eyes went from squinted and focused to calm and and soft when he

saw my face.

“So this is about YOUR concern huh?” he said and smiled a soft smile. Turning off the pot of noodles, he

took me by my shoulder and led me to the kitchen table where we sat.

“I will always love your mom. No one can ever replace her. She will always be with us and watching

over us. But she's a good woman like I said. She knows me better than anyone, even my mother. So if

theres anyone who knows somehow to make me happy, it’s her. I trust her judgement and if she wants

me to find someone then I will. Because heres the thing: it'll make HER happy and thats something I

cannot bare to keep from her.”

I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around this. To me, it felt like my family was falling

apart. I don’t understand how they can just up and …just be with other people. It just doesn't work.

Yea, she's gone, forever, and theres nothing I can do about it. But with how close we are with the after

world and the power that I have, it doesn't make sense that dad is acting like we can’t just talk to her

whenever we want. She's here all the time. I just know that i’m going to have a hard time trying to

ignore the fact that mom, my dads wife, would be here while dad and his new girlfriend were here also.

I could already feel he tension of meeting these women that dad would be having dates with. The

tension that would be had when he would bring them home to see how they would treat me and react

around me.

I so wasn't looking forward to this. But I nodded my head and looked up to dad, his eyes pleading with

me to understand. And I guess I did. Dad loves mom. And mom loves dad. And they will do anything to

make each other happy. I had to remember that that was real love. A love that I wished I soon would

share with sam.

“Ok. But you have to let me help you find her.” I said.

Dad sat back in his seat and put his hands up in playful defeat.

“You got it.”