My Dad, My World : The Battle

Currently, I was under a deep sleep. My little slice of heaven was especially beautiful tonight. It had

changed into the oasis that I wished would be vegas if only for one day. Never had I experience a fall.

Not a real one anyway. It never got cold enough. Don’t get me wrong, I love green, its sky favorite

color. But the trees and stuff are always green. I want to see some dead grass and some gorgeous

orange and gold leaves falling slowly to the ground beneath them. I want to feel the crisp air that

makes my cheeks rosy. I want to buy sweaters that cover my hands a little bit. I want to make hot

apple cider and not sweat drinking it. I want to have a fire outside with my family. I want to wake up in

the morning and drink a cup of pumpkin spiced coffee. I want to look through the steam coming out of

my mug and see the dew on the grass sparkle in the morning sun.

“I think that would be wonderful. I’ll have to see what I can do about that.” Persephone had been

sitting across from me enjoying the view around us. My thoughts had made their way to her and she

changed her attention to me.

“Yea I was thinking about having a halloween party at the house but the weather is so unGodly hot

there all year round that its pretty much impossible to experience any other season but summer.” I said.

I have never seen snow before.

“Maybe I should just ask dad about taking me on a trip. Heck, maybe we will experience it in Mass, but

I doubt it, its still kind of early.”

“Don’t worry about it Taylor. I do something. Im sure God wouldn't mind gifting the people of southern

California a little halloween cheer. after all it does keep the demons away, truly.” Persephone lifted a

glass of tea and put it to her perfectly shaped lips. I envied her. Such a terrible thing to think in

heaven, a sin. I had to keep myself from giggling on that one.

“No need to think I'm perfect in anyway, because were all perfect in every way.” Persephone said. I just

looked at her. it seemed strange that she always talked like this. All prim and proper and well, Godly.

Not that I had a problem with it I just wondered…

“Are you really like this? Or are you like this because you have to be?” I asked. she looked at me over

the brim of her glass and set it down.

“This isn't a job Taylor. I wasn't like this as a human obviously but i’ve been here a while…I think it just

kind of rubs off on you.” she answered. Something in me believed that there was a whole other side to

her. a more normal side. One that was fun and free and not pent up and …she’s just so strong. She's

always protecting, always working and on the job.

“It’s not a job.” she responded to my thoughts again.

“Well it seems like one. You never get a break.” I said and then I got an idea. I smiled widely and even

laughed a little.

“I think you should spend some time with my dad.” I suggested.

“And why would I do that?” she asked. The thought of them hanging out was awesome. I laughed to

myself and then remembered my moms request for dad. Suddenly this seemed an even better idea. I

was comfortable with Persephone and I knew she treated me right and would treat him right as well.

“What was it that she asked of him if you don’t mind my asking?” she asked. She seemed to perk up

and this made my smile grow wider.

“She asked him to find someone.”

“A love interest?” she asked and her eyes slightly grew which actually shocked me. It was almost as if

she had been in loving thoughts with my dad for a while.

“Yes. She wants him happy.”

“No more pain…” she thought and smiled a little herself.

“But i’m not sure if i’m able to contact your father through his dreams. I’ve only ever been able to enter

yours and your mothers.” she said concerned.

“Well then lets hop out of mine quick and you try, hows that?” I asked and she quickly shook her head

yes.

“I’ll be back to you and tell you if I can or not. Or…if I don’t come back, just know that I did get in.” and

with that, I let her do her thing. She didn't enter my dreams again that night.

*******************************
In the morning I woke up excited. I was hopping out of bed and making my way down the stairs when I

caught dad on the couch looking at some old pictures of our small family that once was. From my spot

on the stairs, I could barely catch a glimpse of some christmas pictures from when I was around 3 or

so. Although blurry, moms beauty was indescribable even through pictures. I wondered what had

happened in dads dreams. What had persephone said?

I went down the rest of the way and stood behind the couch. I wasn't sure what to do or say. this was

something dad had always done after we lost mom. This was his coping mechanism and I didn't want

to ruin it. I reached out and set a hand on his shoulder.

“Good morning dad.” I said softly and stood back when he jumped up quick as though I had frightened

him.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” I put my hand up slightly in defense. I gave him a second to

catch his breath and then went to him, embracing him in a hug.

“You know…you need to not burden yourself with guilt. How will you ever be able to move on if you

keep hurting yourself like this?” The threat of tears was sharp as I stood here with him. I wanted this

to be over. I always wanted him to love and miss mom but I also wanted him to…find some relief in

knowing that moms death wasn't her fault.

“Thats pretty much the same thing persephone told me last night.” he said and kissed the top of my

head.

“What else did she say?” I asked.

“Well…she seemed kind of nervous. acted kind of weird. She was just asking me how I was. then again,

I was in the dungeon and i’m sure she was uncomfortable because of that.” I considered his response

and thought it obvious that an angel would feel threatened in a room that was literally a home for

dangerous souls and demons. I shook my head and lifted my head from his chest. And looking him

straight in the eye I said,

“Please dad. Do what mom told you and move on.” My eyes pleaded for two different reasons. One for

the hurt I felt at the fact that mom wanted him to move on even though I understood. And two

because I hated seeing dad low like this. It seemed just days ago we had been walking around the mall,

buying pointless stuff and letting him sign autographs. Now all we did was stay home. Now all we did

was eat out, if eat at all. Dad stayed either in his office or in his room so that left me alone on the

couch. I had not yet been given the opportunity to make any friends since dad still insisted that I keep

home schooling and Sam always had work. Especially now around this season. Halloween and

Christmas stuff seemed to be filling the shelves in all the town stores. I easily could hang with Aaron if I

could but even he was a working man. Between his clothing line and just the GAC footage and stuff,

Aaron two usually spent all of his time in one single room. Same with Billy and Jay. I had no one.

That realization effected me something fierce. The fact that I have no friends, barely any family that

isn't already buried to their heads with their own stuff to do. In front of me, dad shook his head yes and

turned away from me, picking up the photo albums and carrying them up the stairs. He didn't come

back down.

Lunch had come quicker than I had expected, and so had my hunger so I made some ramen noodles

and went out on the back porch, trying to let our waterfall pond pool thingy wash away the negative

feeling I was having. BING. My phone rang. I looked to the text that floated on my screen and it was

Sam.

Hello beautiful. break time. thought id say hi. :) * I smiled down at my phone, but my fingers graced

over the buttons with not really a care. It’s not that I didn't care that he had texted me its just…I wasn't

really in the mood to be cheery. God that sounds selfish. I cant help what I feel though.

Thanks babe. When are you done today? I need you.* I texted honestly. Out of the corner of my eye, I

thought I saw someone looking over the fence in the back of the yard but I shook my head and paid

attention to the text coming in.

is everything ok? are you ok???* he asked.

i’m…look i’m just not having a very good day and there’s something I need to tell you about. *

ok ok, i’m done in about an hour so ill be over ASAP ok?*

ok. thank you <3 *

your welcome. <3 *

Again I looked up and finally caught a full face peering over our fence. But when she saw me looking at

he, she ducked her head under again.

“No wait!” I shouted and ran over to the fence. She appeared again and smiled down at me. “Im sorry. I

was just trying to see when you were done talking so we could talk.” She said.

I didn't know any of the other kids here. I never did. Vegas…you think about it and the irony of “making

friends”….its unthinkable in a city like this. Thankfully for us, we lived far enough away from the city

that I thought maybe I would make some friends. Although, considering dads occupation, most kids

never wanted to be friends with me, or if they came over something would happen to them.

“Yeah…i’m sorry. do you want to come over? I can make some snacks?” I felt like I looked like an idiot.

I wasn't sure what to do here! I don’t have…friends. Not any my age anyway. The only thing I knew to

do was to offer what I had to others. Thats what dad taught me anyway. But it seemed even her face

was looking at me like I was crazy, but soon her face softened and she stuck a hand out over the fence

and I took it shaking it.

“My names Taylor, by the way.”

“Emma.”