What I'd Never Tell Him

Oli felt ridiculously self conscious in his boxers, next to Cam any guy...or girl...or even animals would feel inferior. Oli found himself stealing glances at the other man's body whenever he could, which was strange for him, looking at a guy that way, but he decided not to let it freak him out.

They went back to shore and sat in the shallow water, the waves just reaching up to their legs.
Oli glanced at Cam and felt himself reddening when he realised the actor was literally staring at him.
"Sorry I uh...it's your tattoos they're just...captivating I guess." Oli smiled bashfully.
"Thanks."
"Got any stories behind them?" Oli told him the few stories he had about them. Weirdly enough, while he could perform to huge crowds with ease, sitting there with someone and talking about himself wasn't easy.
"You're so self conscious in person, how come?" Oli went red and looked down.
"I don't know, I'm just more shy one on one than to big groups." Cam nodded.

They talked for hours, the temperature dropped as nighttime fell, Oli shivered and went up the beach to get his t-shirt. Cam stood up with him. As Oli shrugged it on, he felt ridiculously feminine standing there in his underwear and oversized tee-shirt. Cam smiled at him and Oli shook his head.
"Shut up."
"Have you eaten yet?"
"No you?"
"Nope, wanna come to mine and eat something?"
"Yeah sure." Oli had to really force his jaw not to drop when they stepped inside. Cam's house was modern and rich, glass, metal, driftwood and leather adorned almost every surface.
"Wow your place is great." Cam smiled.
"Thanks! So what do you fancy? I can cook or we can order out..."
"Don't bother cooking now, let's just order out." Cam looked relieved and got some takeout menus. They sat on the floor, leaning against the couch while they waited for the food to arrive, talking and joking about things.

Oli knew he was starting to really like Cam, everything about him, his laugh, smile, looks, and everything he did affected Oli, like every time they touched it was like electricity sparking across the surface of his skin. He wouldn't make a move on the other man because he wasn't ready, and he didn't even know if he felt the same way.
"What're you thinking about?" Cam asked softly, his head leant back against the arm of the couch.
"Oh...n-nothing!" Oli's cheeks burned scarlet as Cam sat up, interested in his failed cover up.
"Come on, spill."
"There's nothing to spill!!"
"Don't make me force it out of you." He said in a devilish tone, getting up on his hands and knees.
"And how do you plan on doing that?" Oli tried to sound sarcastic but his heart was pounding away nervously.
"I....am going..." Cam got closer and Oli's breath hitched.
"...to tickle it out of you...prepare to surrender!!" He pounced on Oli and started tickling him, Oli wriggled around, laughing uncontrollably and gasping for breath.
"Stop...stop!!" Cam, who was now straddling his hips, pinning his arms and legs down, stopped for a moment.
"Do you surrender?"
"Never!!" They ended up half tickling, half wrestling each other, Oli trying to get out from underneath Cam, and Cam trying to keep him there and tickle him at the same time.
"Ok ok!!!" Oli shouted breathlessly, Cam laughed, panting slightly.
"Very well, what were you thinking about?"
"Nothing...I'm really not that interesting." He giggled and Cam smiled at him, suddenly his smile faded and Oli's did too, his heart rate picked up again as Cam looked down at him, he was still pinned down so he couldn't go anywhere.
Cam's eyes flickers from his to his lips to his chest back to him again. He looked like he was about to do something when the doorbell rang.
"I.....I think th-that's the pizza." Oli stumbled over his words hoarsely.

Cam sighed and stood up, going to get the door. Oli was frozen where he was for a few minutes before he could stand.
"Yep. Pizza." Cam said awkwardly. They ate in silence, although this time it wasn't comfortable. The tension was thick and they kept on looking at one another, waiting to see if the other would do anything, on the rare occasion that their eyes would meet, they'd look away again quickly.

The second they finished eating Oli stood up, Cam followed him to the door.
"Umm....thanks...for that...I guess? It's been fun...thanks..umm..." Oli looked up at Cam who was looking down at him, his heart was pounding and his eyes flickered to the other man's mouth when his tongue darted out to lick his lips.
"I should..." Oli trailed off, his breath hitching as Cam took a step towards him.
"Go...bye, I'll see you tomorrow." Oli squeaked and backed out the door, cursing himself for being so cowardly.

He was always the one to leave, heart pounding, nerves fried, and Cam was always the one being left, watching him leave.

Oli didn't sleep that night. He tried. But by morning he was in a state, he was wired, mainly from exhaustion. So when he made the decision to go knock on Cam's door, he knew it wasn't a good idea.
He jumped about on the step waiting for Cam to open the door, when he finally did, he was only in boxers and rubbing his eyes sleepily, his hair was sticking up cutely and Oli bit his lip nervously.
"Oli? Hey...what's up?" He asked groggily, opening his eyes wide in an attempt to wake up.
"I'm sorry I came round so early I just..."
"Have you been awake all night?"
"Yeah...yeah I have, which is probably why I thought this was a good idea..." Cam leant against the door.
"What's up?"
"I just...I couldn't stop thinking about yesterday and I..."
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have...I don't know what I was thinking Oli it's just..there was fucking tension last night man. Obviously I misread it don't worry we're cool." He turned to go back inside but Oli grabbed his arm.
"No you....you didn't misread it..." Cam turned round so he was fully facing the smaller man again.
"What?" Oli struggled to find the right words as Cams face filled with hope.
"You....I...you didn't misread it I wanted to....as well...but...aaghh why is it so difficult to talk to you?!?" He tugged on his hair in frustration.
"I just...got scared I guess. I mean I've never...well I mean I have but not..." Cam smiled and gestured for the other man to be quiet.
"Me either. Don't worry I'm just as scared as you," Oli raised an eyebrow.
"Ok maybe not quite as scared as you. But we're both in the same boat here, it's ok." Oli smiled shyly at him and they felt the tension between them rising again.
"Now I would kiss you but neither of us have brushed our teeth since yesterday so..." They laughed, breaking the tension and have each other a quick hug before Oli left.
"Go get some sleep. And hey, wanna come over tonight?"
"Sure, for fuck's sake though brush your goddamn teeth, I'm not waiting again." He winked and left, Cam smiled and watched him leave.