Completely Undone

That sense of comfort that she once had is now gone. Cinnie felt like she is on the verge of being exposed in some way and recollecting what happened a few days ago wasn’t the best of ideas. Having Tom drag her out in the same car and also stationed in his dressing room where people could spread rumors like wildfire?

Not the best of plans and she let Tom know that. It was foolish to do such a thing when they were hanging low when it came to their relationship. “We don’t even know what we are and I hate for them to assume that we are together.”

Cinnie gasped, covering her mouth the instant those words flew out. She saw Tom stiffened; flashes of emotion went through his eyes as she stuttered to apologize.

“No, I understand. I’m sorry for doing that to you. It was foolish and reckless.” Even with the reassurance from Tom that nothing has changed between them it has. She could feel the tension surrounding them and she felt horrible for saying it. Guilt ate away at her and she could see Tom trying to be the same loving person that he is, but it didn’t feel the same.

Sighing deeply, she gripped the mugs from the counter filled with tea and offering one to Tom. Lifting his eyes from the television for a brief moment, he gave her a withering smile, the same one that he has been giving her for the past few days.

Cinnie didn’t know how to approach something like this and having those words coming out of her mouth only made their stay together painful. Possibly the most awkward she has ever been with someone in a long time, her shoulders were tensed, her fingers curled tightly around her mug begging for solace and all she could get is her mind racing of finding out ways to ease this aura.

Sipping gingerly, she tried to focus on the screen as it started to transition from a show to a cheesy romantic flick. One that Tom held dearly in his heart, nibbling on her lip her eyes darted away from the screen when she heard Tom chuckle for the first time in days.

Actually laughing than the forced ones he has been giving her. It seems neither of them knew how to approach this given that they didn’t know each other well enough. Cinnie didn’t want to press his buttons and he didn’t want to press hers.

The more they thought about it the more clueless they were.

Observing the leading woman confessing such horrible things to the leading man made her sympathetic towards her. Her problems are minor compared to the fictional character, but it felt like it is just as big and seeing the leading man walk away only made it worse.

Shifting in her seat, she placed the now cold tea on the coffee table and tightly embraced Tom, tears welling in her eyes. “I never meant to hurt your feelings, Tom. I truly didn’t and the way I approached it wasn’t the way to go. I’m just so scared and nervous about this whole thing and wondering if this is the right thing to do. What if the media catches on and puts this thing we have out in the public before we are even ready? I was already overwhelmed when you were dropped off and to thin-”

When her shoulders went limp at the thought of every single person in the world knowing her name other than her writing would be a nightmare. Never in her dreams did she only want to be remembered as some arm candy for a famous actor.

She felt out of her world being placed with Tom in trying out this dating scene and taking that risk with him is making her skittish. Relaying those thoughts and feelings towards Tom, he felt tears rolling down the side of his neck and he instantly felt sympathy for her. He knew what it is like to fear to be labeled for one thing.

“Darling, I know better than anyone than what you are feeling. Actors are usually notable for one piece of work and if possible a variety of their work if they are so lucky. There is a possibly I will always be remembered as Loki and it’s alright as long as you know your place in this world. You will never be remembered solely for being my bird because you are more than that. You’re so talented, your writing astounds me at every page I read and I’m so proud of you, love.” Tom wiped away the streak of tears from her cheeks giving her a dazzling smile.

“Every writer, every person is recognizable for their line of work. For instance, J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter, F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Great Gatsby, William Faulkner: The Sound and the Fury, Mark Twain: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, William Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet well he has a lot more works, but everyone knows that one…”

Cinnie giggled softly, sniffling to clear the tears from her eyes. Tom’s eyes couldn’t be any softer as he cupped her cheek with such tenderness that it made her heart melt. “All I’m saying is its okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.”

“You’re too amazing.” Sighing deeply she didn’t know how Tom is able to deal with her doubtful bullshit; there is nothing worse than an insecure woman. She needed to trust in whatever they had or this will never work and it all needs to start with an apology.

“I really am sorry. There is nothing wrong with being with you; this is actually the happiest I have been in the longest time and just scared of the media overall. What they might say or do, but I like you way too much to give you up.” She rambled on.

The grin Tom displayed left her blushing like a child as he softly kissed her on the lips lovingly, “And I don’t want you to give me up.”

Bringing her closer to his muscular form she tensed when he brought her on her side with him behind her, shifting to get comfortable on the couch he relaxed behind her. Cinnie noticed his body completely melting into her body as if his body craved being next to her. It shouldn’t have surprised her of the intimacy.

Tom is the king of affection and intimacy; that’s all he wanted. To be near her, to be involved with her and to relax with her; wiggling her hips away from the edge, her breath hitched when she noticed a bulge poking her bum.

Warmth spread across her cheeks, but focused on something else rather than his…excitement. Tom tried to move away from her to avoid embarrassment for her mostly and when he felt her grab his hand in a reassuring way his mind isn’t so worried about the small dilemma. His arm draped carelessly across her torso and linked hands.

His fingers soothing rubbed her hands lovingly as they watched silly television on the screen before settling watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Cinnie grinned childishly as she hopped up and popped in the disc before plopping back down in their previous position.

That astounded Tom thinking that is her chance to avoid the intimate embrace they once had for something more isolated. The woman resumed their position holding his hands gently around her waist as she mindlessly pressed play.

It is times like this that Tom made small notes of who Cinnie truly is as a person. He didn’t know much about her except for her love of creative/fantasy style of writing. She loved mythical creatures adding every element into her stories as much as she could, but she felt out of her league creating her own world so she devised stories around drama and modern romance genres.

He thought her writing style is amazing not over the top and not detailed enough to the point where she bored her readers. Tom will admit that he hasn’t read most of her work, her unedited work that she shyly passed along to Paty who in turn passed along to him.

Some of her works he didn’t favor given he had different taste in different dilemma and situations of where she took her characters, but overall he gave credit for her creativity and going for the unthinkable. In the past, he has encouraged her to go forth with the fantasy route and months of pushing her she finally has begun the process.

He hasn’t asked her initial thoughts on her novel, but he can tell it has been stressing her beyond belief. So he thought he can give her an encouraging push and gave the first book of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy thinking it might ignite something within her. Not for her intimate scenes, but also to write the style she has for her unedited versions she kept for herself.

If he had to be honest, he didn’t expect the reaction he got. At first she was open to the idea commenting that she heard rave or mixed reviews about the book and they were thinking of filming a movie around it. She gave it a shot and by the first couple of pages, she rolled her eyes and scoffed before skimming through to an intimate scene that people ogle about.

There was nothing special or that is what she said. Giving a distasteful look, she stated that it wasn’t her style of writing or taste, but can see why people enjoyed it. The plot was enticing and overly romantic which women loved.

Nonetheless she thanked him for being supportive.

Nestling his face in the crook of her neck, she giggled moving away from him. Twisting her head back, she asked, “What are you doing?”

Tom chuckled in returned, “What does it look like I’m doing? Being loving.”

“What you’re doing is tickling me with that grizzly hair of yours.” Cinnie chuckled, her fingers danced along his jaw peppered with reddish facial hair. Tom moaned mixed with a laugh bubbling up to the surface as he slyly smirked kissing the back of her neck.

Another thing he learned, when it came to her favorite movies she absolutely hated distractions. With her eyes glued to the television screen, his teeth softly raked alongside the curve of her neck feeling the muscles flex. Finding a spot, his teeth sunk into the flesh, she wiggled and laughed trying to pry his face away from her neck with no avail.

His arms tightened around her upper body while his legs ensnared around her own capturing her in his embrace. “T-tom—trying to watch a movie here.” She moved her neck as far away as possible before a moan escaped her lips.

The way he touched her neck evoked the urge to move away from him due her being extremely ticklish, but when his teeth found the spot between her neck and collarbone sent her into frenzy. Her nails hooked onto his flesh as he softly sucked on her delicate flesh emitting another moan from her lips. Filled with haziness she is distracted from the film as she twisted her upper half towards him.

Seeing that she wanted to turn, Tom allowed her giving her space to twist around before taking her back in. Her soft hands traced along his jaw line feeling every angle and curve, her eyes danced around his features looking at every imperfection and color that made her heart skip a beat.

Pursing her lips in nervousness, she cupped his cheek with a weak smile. Watching the hues of blue in his eyes become dark and his pupils already dilated.

Leaning in, Tom tested the waters by kissing her nose lovingly. Trailing off the bridge of her nose he noticed small traces of freckles splattered across her cheekbones and took the time to kiss each and every one of them. He wanted his day off to shower her with love and affection hoping that this will indicate how much he truly did care for her.

By noticing the dip of her nose to the small curve of her crook smile to the small scar on her left brow; kissing along her jaw, he nipped and tugged softly with his teeth giving her that sense of want and need. Tracing back to the curve of her neck, her thigh instantly rose grazing his crouch.

A detectable moan tumbled from his lips before he lost his mind and devoured her delicate lips. Feeling the plush and pinkness of her lips made his head swirl and tasting the spiciness made him grin at the irony. If Tom could embellish in one scent it would be hers and completely immerse himself with her and only her.

Cinnie either didn’t notice what she was doing or didn’t care as her thigh dug deeper, he instinctively bucked into her thigh. Probably in the heat of the moment, her tongue dived into his in a frenzy leaving a mess in its wake.

She didn’t know how to approach this time of moment having her hands clench the front of his shirt while he openly dive into her thick curls bringing her closer to him if possible.

A small moan came from her lips once more when he parted his lips with hers and kissed her collarbone, pushing the fabric to expose more flesh. During this time he rolled himself on top of her, parting her leg that was nudging his crouch open to invite him in. Nestling in his place, he slowly unbuttoned the first couple on her flannel top.

Her chest heaving, her beige bra pushed against her breasts making them more enticing if plausible. When he made his move towards her breasts that was when he heard the first word since this interaction, “Wait.” He soon lifted his eyes, watching her lustful eyes turn doubtful and filled with worry.

Lifting himself away from her chest to relief some of that worry, he asked, “Too soon?”

Cinnie nibbled on her bottom lip, nodding shyly; she didn’t want it to end. All these emotions and feelings that she was getting in the pit of her stomach felt phenomenal and seeing how attentive he was to her made her feel…sexy.

But realizing that he was reaching the first intimate body part that would lead to taking off clothes which led to revealing more of herself and then it would lead to sex. Making out she is starting to be okay with having a few rounds under her belt or perhaps several since Tom can’t keep his hands off of her. Sex is a scary thing and hearing the horror stories of their first time with someone, virgin or not is nerve wrecking.

Taking the incentive that the moment is gone, Tom buttoned her shirt before sitting her up beside him. When he stood up from his seat, Cinnie panicked. What was wrong? Was he not happy with what happened or did he feel disappointed that he didn’t go further?

Guilt ridden, she questioned him where he was going. He paused for a moment; when he turned a small blush hit his cheeks. “Going to pop in the loo for a moment; be right back.” Seeing the innocent gaze Cinnie gave him, he sighed in relief when she turned her attention to the movie that was still playing. Probably half way through now, he didn’t think they were at it for that long and he was wrong.

Now he had to get rid of a small problem before joining Cinnie for their movie marathon.