Status: New
This Can't Be the End
Jack
“Jack, you need to take your medication! Now get out of bed before i come and drag you out myself!” Rian yelled. Jack rolled over and put the pillows over his head, trying to drown out the sound of his overly concerned best friend. However his bliss only lasted a few moments when Rian came in and actually started to drag Jack out of bed. Jack hit the floor with a hard thud and looked up to see not Rian, but his friend Zack standing there. Figures, Rian doesn’t have the strength or the heart (or lack of) to actually drag Jack out of bed.
Zack shrugged helping his friend up, “Sorry man, just doing what’s best for you...” Jack sighed, knowing he was right. What was the sense in arguing anyway? He walked into the other room where Rian was waiting patiently with a bottle of water in one hand and three pills in the other. Jack went over and took the pills without a word. “So Jack... I got a little surprise for you...” Zack said.
Jack looked up at him questioningly. Zack went to his backpack and pulled out an envelope, handing it over to Jack; who opened it hesitantly. Inside were two tickets to the Ravens game; and Jack remembering the delight in watching his favorite football team live- the chants, the beer, the food, the good company and good time- got excited. His face lit up, and although it was only for a split second, satisfaction filled the other two boys in the room.
“You can bring whoever you want as long as it’s me,” Zack said with a smile. Jack smiled back at him and went over and hugged him as a thank you. He sat down on the couch and started to think about his previous Ravens games and even when they lose, the team never fails to give him happiness. He remembered his first Ravens game he went to; it was him and Alex- Alex. And as quickly as the splurge of happiness came it was gone. He missed his best friend so much. He missed watching football on Sunday nights with him- seeing him smile when the Ravens scored a touchdown and hearing his yells when they were losing. He missed every part about his other half; he felt like he was suffocating without him. Why’d Jack have to go and ruin everything?
Tears were forming in Jack’s eyes and even though he fought to hide them he couldn’t. His overwhelming sense of hopelessness and emptiness without Alex hit him hard like a car crash and he couldn’t control himself. He ran into his room so his friends wouldn’t see him like this. That would only get them more worried than they already were and Jack didn’t want that. He hated being a burden on his friends. He hated that someone always had to be with him just in case he “tried” something.
He heard pounding on the door and two voices yelling over each other, worried and scared. “Are you okay?” “Open up!” “Jack what happened?” “What are you doing?” “Jack don’t hurt yourself please we’re here to help!”
Jack couldn’t handle it anymore; he wanted to be rid of his pain. Jack started to bang his head against the wall. He didn’t hear Zack and Rian anymore, all he heard was Alex.
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
All he saw was Alex walking away as he yelled for him to come back. He hit his head harder and harder until he couldn’t see or hear anything anymore.
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“Has he spoken at all?” Jack heard Zack ask.
After a pause another voice answered, “No.” It was Rian, Jack recognized it instantly.
A sigh and then, “Nothing?” Zack asked, hopelessness tainting his voice.
Another pause and then, “Well sometimes... in his sleep... he whispers Alex’s name...” Rian told him. Jack felt a lump in his throat and his cheeks burned; he hoped that didn’t draw attention to himself.
They didn’t say anything for awhile until Rian spoke again saying, “I called him...”
“Who?” Zack asked.
“...Alex” Rian mumbled. There was a sharp intake of breath. Jacks stomach dropped.
“Why?”
“I just... was hoping he would come and see him ya know?” Rian said. “Jack’s been, well not Jack, since what happened. He’s become a different person and he won’t even say what happened! He tried to kill himself and I don’t even know why and all I want is for him to be happy and himself again! I just thought Alex would help ya know...”
“I wanna help him too, but we need to let them work this out themselves,” Zack told him.
“Yeah? It’s been a month Zack and things are only getting worse. We have to stop thinking that it’s going to work itself out because it’s not going to!”
“How are we supposed to help if we don’t even know what happened?” Zack asked.
“We have to figure out what happened I guess,” Rian said. Jack couldn’t bare it anymore. He opened his eyes and made a movement to let them know he was awake. Both of them looked at him and smiled, soft concerned smiles. “Hey Bud, you scared us quite a bit back there...”
Jack just looked away. He was on his bed, Rian and Zack sitting next to it. He wondered how long he knocked himself out for, but didn’t care enough to look. Any amount of time away from the pain was good enough.
“Jack will you please tell us what happened?” Zack came straight out and asked. Jack didn’t say anything, just remained silent and kept looking away.
“We can’t do anything if you don’t tell us what happened,” Rian told him. Jack looked down; he couldn’t bear to say it. Couldn’t bear to tell his friends what he did because they would just walk away and leave him just like Alex did. The one person in the world that he never pictured leaving him walked away like it was nothing.
“Jack I’m gonna ask Alex I hope you know that...” Zack told him. Jack wasn’t worried, Alex wouldn’t tell them. He was too ashamed to even admit to himself what had Jack confessed to him. He would never tell Zack or Rian.
He heard Alex’s voice in his head again Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Jack started to shake his head violently, trying to get the voice out of his head. Zack jumped on the bed and held him down so he couldn’t hurt himself.
“Okay okay Jack we won’t talk about it anymore!” Rian said and immediately Jack relaxed in Zack’s arms. Zack smiled down at him while Rian said, “I’m gonna go make you some food okay?” He didn’t wait for a response, he just left the room.
“Wanna watch some T.V.?” Zack said already turning the T.V. on and putting on some random movie. Jack watched the movie and listen to Zack ramble on aimlessly. Jack had his head against Zacks chest and let the sound of his heartbeat and his voice calm him, at least for a little while.
Zack shrugged helping his friend up, “Sorry man, just doing what’s best for you...” Jack sighed, knowing he was right. What was the sense in arguing anyway? He walked into the other room where Rian was waiting patiently with a bottle of water in one hand and three pills in the other. Jack went over and took the pills without a word. “So Jack... I got a little surprise for you...” Zack said.
Jack looked up at him questioningly. Zack went to his backpack and pulled out an envelope, handing it over to Jack; who opened it hesitantly. Inside were two tickets to the Ravens game; and Jack remembering the delight in watching his favorite football team live- the chants, the beer, the food, the good company and good time- got excited. His face lit up, and although it was only for a split second, satisfaction filled the other two boys in the room.
“You can bring whoever you want as long as it’s me,” Zack said with a smile. Jack smiled back at him and went over and hugged him as a thank you. He sat down on the couch and started to think about his previous Ravens games and even when they lose, the team never fails to give him happiness. He remembered his first Ravens game he went to; it was him and Alex- Alex. And as quickly as the splurge of happiness came it was gone. He missed his best friend so much. He missed watching football on Sunday nights with him- seeing him smile when the Ravens scored a touchdown and hearing his yells when they were losing. He missed every part about his other half; he felt like he was suffocating without him. Why’d Jack have to go and ruin everything?
Tears were forming in Jack’s eyes and even though he fought to hide them he couldn’t. His overwhelming sense of hopelessness and emptiness without Alex hit him hard like a car crash and he couldn’t control himself. He ran into his room so his friends wouldn’t see him like this. That would only get them more worried than they already were and Jack didn’t want that. He hated being a burden on his friends. He hated that someone always had to be with him just in case he “tried” something.
He heard pounding on the door and two voices yelling over each other, worried and scared. “Are you okay?” “Open up!” “Jack what happened?” “What are you doing?” “Jack don’t hurt yourself please we’re here to help!”
Jack couldn’t handle it anymore; he wanted to be rid of his pain. Jack started to bang his head against the wall. He didn’t hear Zack and Rian anymore, all he heard was Alex.
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
All he saw was Alex walking away as he yelled for him to come back. He hit his head harder and harder until he couldn’t see or hear anything anymore.
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“Has he spoken at all?” Jack heard Zack ask.
After a pause another voice answered, “No.” It was Rian, Jack recognized it instantly.
A sigh and then, “Nothing?” Zack asked, hopelessness tainting his voice.
Another pause and then, “Well sometimes... in his sleep... he whispers Alex’s name...” Rian told him. Jack felt a lump in his throat and his cheeks burned; he hoped that didn’t draw attention to himself.
They didn’t say anything for awhile until Rian spoke again saying, “I called him...”
“Who?” Zack asked.
“...Alex” Rian mumbled. There was a sharp intake of breath. Jacks stomach dropped.
“Why?”
“I just... was hoping he would come and see him ya know?” Rian said. “Jack’s been, well not Jack, since what happened. He’s become a different person and he won’t even say what happened! He tried to kill himself and I don’t even know why and all I want is for him to be happy and himself again! I just thought Alex would help ya know...”
“I wanna help him too, but we need to let them work this out themselves,” Zack told him.
“Yeah? It’s been a month Zack and things are only getting worse. We have to stop thinking that it’s going to work itself out because it’s not going to!”
“How are we supposed to help if we don’t even know what happened?” Zack asked.
“We have to figure out what happened I guess,” Rian said. Jack couldn’t bare it anymore. He opened his eyes and made a movement to let them know he was awake. Both of them looked at him and smiled, soft concerned smiles. “Hey Bud, you scared us quite a bit back there...”
Jack just looked away. He was on his bed, Rian and Zack sitting next to it. He wondered how long he knocked himself out for, but didn’t care enough to look. Any amount of time away from the pain was good enough.
“Jack will you please tell us what happened?” Zack came straight out and asked. Jack didn’t say anything, just remained silent and kept looking away.
“We can’t do anything if you don’t tell us what happened,” Rian told him. Jack looked down; he couldn’t bear to say it. Couldn’t bear to tell his friends what he did because they would just walk away and leave him just like Alex did. The one person in the world that he never pictured leaving him walked away like it was nothing.
“Jack I’m gonna ask Alex I hope you know that...” Zack told him. Jack wasn’t worried, Alex wouldn’t tell them. He was too ashamed to even admit to himself what had Jack confessed to him. He would never tell Zack or Rian.
He heard Alex’s voice in his head again Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Jack started to shake his head violently, trying to get the voice out of his head. Zack jumped on the bed and held him down so he couldn’t hurt himself.
“Okay okay Jack we won’t talk about it anymore!” Rian said and immediately Jack relaxed in Zack’s arms. Zack smiled down at him while Rian said, “I’m gonna go make you some food okay?” He didn’t wait for a response, he just left the room.
“Wanna watch some T.V.?” Zack said already turning the T.V. on and putting on some random movie. Jack watched the movie and listen to Zack ramble on aimlessly. Jack had his head against Zacks chest and let the sound of his heartbeat and his voice calm him, at least for a little while.