Fear of Flying

I woke up from a deep sleep with someone hissing in my ear, “Kennedy! Kennedy wake up right now!”
I groaned as I rubbed at my eyes. I had to blink a few times before my mom came into focus, “What?”

“I don’t know how Harry got here, but you need to hide him! Your father is about to leave for work and he’s gonna come in and say goodbye to you!”

I was instantly completely awake at her words and instantly aware of the warm body behind me and the secure arm around my waist. Harry was here. Last night really happened. Adrenalin shot trough me, “Um…”

My mom sighed, “I’ll go buy you a few minutes, but hurry up. If your dad catches him in bed with you he’ll lose it!” She hissed in a panicked whisper before she walked out of my room, shutting the door behind her.

I turned over, the best I could in Harry’s embrace, and faced him. He was still dead asleep, and he looked so peaceful I almost felt bad for having to wake him. Everything that happened last night played over in my mind and I could still feel the presents of his lips on mine and how I really, really wanted to feel them again. I reached up and swept some of his curls out of his face, “Harry. Hey wake up.” He groaned and pressed the side of his face into the pillow we were sharing. “Harry, as adorable as you look right now, you need to get up and hide in my closet!”

“What?” His voice was thick with sleep, but a bit louder than I anticipated, and when I hissed at him to keep it down he finally opened his eyes and lifted his head off the pillow to look around. “What?” he asked again.

“My dad’s about to come in here before he goes to work, I need you to hide in the closet! My mom is buying us some time, but not much!”

He sat up really fast then and toppled off the bed, “Shit, fuck,” he whispered as he scrambled to his feet and headed for the closet a few feet away as I rolled out of bed and shoved his duffle bag under my bed.

Just as the heard the closet door shut my bedroom door opened and my dad walked in, “Oh, you’re awake.” He glanced at his watch, “It’s 6:15 in the morning, I’m proud of you.” My mom had a relaxed look on her face behind him in the doorway.

I shrugged, “Yeah, well I’m still on Uni time, you know,” I shrugged like I woke up this early every morning. “You off to work?”

He smiled before pulling me into a hug and pressing a kiss to the side of my head, “Yeah. Just wanted to come say good morning and that I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Have a good day.”

He ruffled my hair playfully like he used to when I was younger before he left my room, mom trailing behind him shutting the door again. I let out a massive sigh of relief. That had been close. I mean, I know I joked about it to Harry last night, but having my father walk in on us spooning would have been dreadful.

I went to the closet and threw the door open and was met with a sleepy smirk. “You know, I haven’t hidden in a birds closet since I was 15.”

I rolled my eyes, “Well you can come out now.” I turned away from him as he walked out. He looked too cute in yesterday’s clothes and out of control bed head.

“Hey-” he started right as there was a knock on the door before my mom pushed it open.

“Next time,” she said in a stern voice, even though she had a cheeky grin on her face, “Harry sleeps on the couch. You’re dad is too young for a heart attack, yeah?”

“Sorry mom.”

“Sorry Mrs. Ryder,” Harry mumbled with me.

She smiled over at him, “It’s lovely to see you again Harry. Though a notice would be nice.” She playfully glared at him, “And maybe showing up before nightfall?”

“Yes ma’am.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes at him, “Don’t call me ma’am. Now I’m going to get ready for work. You two should go out and see the city. It’s a bit chilly, but it should be a nice day out.”

I shrugged, “Yeah sure. Though I think I want a few more hours of sleep.” I threw myself onto my bed dramatically, snuggling into my pillow.

I heard my mom and Harry chuckle, “Well you two have a good day. I’ll see you tonight. Maybe we can go out for dinner.” I’d already closed my eyes but I heard the soft click of the door close.

“You gonna sleep in your jeans again Ken?”

I hummed before I flipped over and haphazardly crawled under the covers. Once in, I shimmied out of my jeans before tossing them across the room, smiling cheekily at Harry, who had an eyebrow raised at me. “Nope,” I answered and then turned my back to him.

I heard the jingling of his belt then material thump to the floor before I felt the bed dip with his weight.

Then there was a long moment where neither of us moved. I don’t know where exactly on the bed he was sitting, I couldn’t feel him, and I was too much of a coward to reach back and touch him. So I just lay there, for a very long moment, practically holding my breath as I waited for him to do something.

He jostled the bed a bit before I heard him let out a massive breath and I felt the covers move and I knew he was under the covers.

And then he was there.

Right there.

He slowly rolled into my back. Then we were touching, all of us, were touching. My back pressed against his chest, his pelvis to my bum, his thighs to the back of mine, and so on. Then his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against him even more, and I swear to whatever high power there is, that I felt his lips brush against the hair at the back of my neck.

My heart was beating so fast, and it was so loud, I swear he could hear it. We’ve been like this before, countless times really, but after last night, after we laid all our feelings out there in front of us… it just all meant more. Even though we both knew we weren’t together, couldn’t be together because of me, he still wanted to cuddle.

And I swear in that moment that I fell completely in love with him.

*****

“If we’re going out in public, we’re going to have to try and blend in,” Harry argued. “I’m pretty sure I was able to get here without anyone spotting me, but one picture is all we need to get a crowd.” He threw a hoodie and one of his beanie at me, a grey one. “Good think it’s not hot outside. Bundle up sweetie,” he smirked.

“You’re nauseating,” I deadpanned and I pulled the oversized hoodie over my head. I threw the beanie on before tying a messy bun at the end of my neck to keep it out o my face.

Harry was dressed similarly to how he always dressed, except he was wearing a knitted sweater instead of some expensive pea coat. His curls, which were still damp from his shower, stuck out around his beanie. He was shoving his feet into his boots as he glanced up at me, “You also need sunglasses.”

“I don’t have any with me,” I exasperated.

“How long have we been friends?” he scoffed, “You should know by now to always have sunglasses!”

“If I knew you were going to follow me like some guy straight out of a Nicholas Sparks book, I would have been prepared to ‘blend in.’”

He smirked at me, “You’re cute when you’re annoyed.”

I had to turn away from him to hide my blush. I swiftly left the room to find a pair of my mom’s sunglasses, which didn’t take long since I found a pain in a bowl of miscellaneous things on the counter. Harry followed me out not too long after with a pair of black aviator on. “Do you wanna find breakfast while we’re out, or eat here?”

He shrugged, “Let’s figure it out while we explore the city.”

“Have you ever been here before?”

“Nope. So you’ll be our tour guide.” He paused for a moment as he pondered something, “Do you know Greek?”

I shrugged, “I know enough to hardly skate by. We can wing it.”

He chuckled, “Well this should be an experience.”

*****

I dragged him out to one of the street markets that were in walking distance. I’ve been here in past visits with my parents, mom says they have the best fresh fruits and vegetables, but they also have food for sale.

We wondered around from booth to booth, getting samples of cheese and bread and other assortments of food before I made us stop to buy some baklava. It was hard to understand the man selling it, so in crap Greek, I had to ask him to talk slower until we were on the same page. At least I think we were. “I promise, this is the best thing you’ll ever eat in this country,” I said as we sat at a little table with our plates. “It’s mostly butter and puff pastry, so it’s hard to not enjoy.”

He smirked at me, “I think I’ll be the judge of that, yeah?”

“Fine,” I set mine aside and waited.

“Are you going to watch me eat?”

“Well the first bite at least. Apparently my opinion isn’t enough for you, so go on then. Try it.” He made a face at me before he took a huge bite. He had a far off look as he chewed slowly, like he was honestly about to critique the baklava. After what felt like eons, he finally swallowed and looked me. “Well?”

He licked his lips, and I tried not to stare too hard at his lips, before he spoke, “As much as it pains me to admit this, but you were right.”

I cheered, “I told you! Never question me ever again!”

He rolled his eyes at me, “We’ll see about that.”

As we both finished our small, but fantastically delicious, treat we chatted and people watched. It really was a nice day out, not to cold, but a nice breeze made all the layers we were wearing bearable. Plus, no one had recognized Harry yet. Well, if they had, they hadn’t come up to bother us, so I was taking that as a good sign that we were staying under the radar.

Once we were done, we got up to walk again, heading down to more shops and towards the water. As I stopped him to look at some homemade jewelry, his hand slowly slipped into mine, his fingers fitting perfectly between mine. My face was on fire as I obnoxiously stared at the display of rings to try and hide my blush.

Seriously, the reaction he was having on me was killing me. It was getting embarrassing.

When he decided that I was wasting too much time just staring at things, and not buying anything, he pulled me away from the booth. We kept walking towards the docks in content silence, our tangled fingers between us.

I was having a mental debate if I should ask about the hand holding when he spoke, “So you really think you’d move here after Uni?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe. I do love visiting here, and my families here, so the con list is pretty standard. I’d have to learn more Greek though,” I chuckled.

He was quiet for a moment as his stare stayed on the road ahead of us, “Not all your family is here. Your parents are, yeah, but not Eleanor and the lads. Not your work family,” he shrugged. “I just think that we should have a say on your pro and con list.”

“You do,” I insisted as I squeezed his hand in reassurance. “Plus I still have another 3 semesters. It’s not anything I’m thinking about seriously yet.” There were a lot of things I wanted to say on the matter. The main one being that leaving him would be the hardest part about it, weather we were together or not. “So how long are you staying?” I tried to lighten the mood, which seemed to work.

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it when I shoved clothes in my bag and jumped on the first plan. It was a bit impulsive on my part.” He sighed contently, “When are you?”

“Tomorrow night.” I bit my lip as I thought over what I was about to say, “You could stay again tonight, if you don’t have to be home for something too soon. You’d obviously have to stay on the couch because of my dad but, I mean, we could fly home together.” I don’t know why I was so nervous to say this. I mean, this was nowhere near the intensity of the conversation we had last night, so everything else in comparison should be cake. Yet it wasn’t.

We stopped at the end of the dock and looked out on the water before he said anything. “You want me to stay?” his body was turned toward me as he asked. He had a hint of a smile.

“I always want you to stay,” I mumbled. That was probably one of the cheesiest things I’ve ever said.

His smiled grew before he tore his gaze from mine, “Don’t say things like that,” he exasperated.

I chuckled, “Why?”

“Because it really makes me want to kiss you,” he mumbled as he sent me a sideways glace. “And obviously I can’t do that. Because we’re in public, and you’re… sorting yourself out.”

I bit my lip trying to hide my smile. “Well then you can’t say things like that because it makes me want to kiss you.”

His eyes were instantly back on mine, “I wouldn’t stop you.”

Queue blush. “This is gonna be a never ending circle isn’t it?”

“Of us saying things that make the other want to kiss them? Yeah probably.” He squeezed my hand, “Maybe we should just throw caution to the wind and make out. You know, for science.”

I rolled my eyes but the smile was there, “That’s a cute idea, but I’d rather get more food.” I tugged on his hand as I started walking, “Come on Casanova.”

*****

We spend another hour out walking around the city, but as it started to get warmer we decided it’d be best to head back to the house. “My mom won’t be back for a few more hours so do you wanna watch a movie or something?” I pulled the beanie and the hoodie off as we walked into the living room.

He followed suite, “Sure. Pick something good though.”

I scoffed as I went to the shelf of DVD’s and scanned the selection before something caught my eye. “Is ‘A Knights Tale’ up to your standards?”

He chuckled as he sat himself on the end of the couch, “So sassy today. Yeah, it’s up to my standards. Put it in.” So I did, and then sat myself on the opposite end of the couch. “Um, no,” he grumbled before he leaned over and grabbed me at my waist.

“Harry!” I shrieked as he manhandled me and pulled me against his side.

“Well we can’t have you all the way on the other side of the couch no can we? How are we supposed to cuddle?”

I sighed a little and adjusted myself so I could pear at him, “Harry I- is this a good idea? I don’t want to lead you on, you know?”

“I know, and you’re not. You made it clear that you weren’t ready to be in a relationship with me, but I can’t ignore the fact that you said you had feelings for me too. I just- fuck it,” he sighed before he kissed me.

I was caught off guard, but it didn’t take long for me to kiss him back. I mean, I’ve been thinking about kissing him since we were kissing last night and this was even better than I remembered it being. He pulled me against him as he leaned into the armrest of the couch so I was once again on top of him as we kissed. This pattern didn’t go unnoticed by me and I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if he preferred the girl on top when having sex. Oh god, thinking about having sex with Harry was not a good idea.

If that though hadn’t set my skin on fire, his tongue slipping into my mouth sure did. His hand was cupping my neck and jaw tenderly as he deepened the kiss and I let him. His other hand was wrapped around my waist holding me firmly against him, movie long forgotten already.

When I pushed my fingers up the back of his neck and into his hair, he moaned into my mouth which didn’t help me not think about having sex with Harry. Everything he was doing, especially when he sucked on my bottom lip, was making me second guess every single thing I said last night and all I wanted to do was be with him in every sense of the word.

If I had to spend the rest of my life doing one thing, it would be kissing Harry. He was so good at it! Seriously, whoever taught him how to do this properly between the first time we made out on a couch, to this moment, I’d like to shake her hand. It was probably Caroline Flak. She’s a very classy lady, I bet she taught him everything he knows. I wonder what else he learned from her…

Oh my god I was not thinking about what he learned from Caroline Flak while he was kissing me so deliciously! I realized his hand had pushed its way under my shirt and up my side without my notice and his thumb was rubbing my skin softly right on my ribcage under my bra. It felt really good and it sent goosebumps dancing across my skin.

Against everything my body was screaming at me, I pulled away from his lips. “Harry,” I said as I breathed heavily from lack of oxygen, “We should- we should stop.”

He was trying to catch his breath as he shook his head, “No,” he said against my lips, “Don’t wanna,” and then he pressed his lips back on mine in a hungry kiss. I let him indulge himself in a few more kisses before I pulled away from him.

“You’re making this really hard.”

“With the way you’ve been rocking your hips, you’re trying to make something hard too.”

“Harry!” I laughed shocked, pulling my face away from his.

He pouted and laid his neck against the armrest. His lips were plump and red from kissing and his chest was rising and falling swiftly as he breathed heavily from our kissing. I imagined I looked quite similar. Both of his hands were at my hips now, his thumbs rubbing slow circles under my shirt against my hip bones. “I’ve wanted to do that all day. I won’t apologize for giving in.”

“We can’t do this,” I sighed. “As much as I really love kissing you, we can’t.”

“Hey, what happens in Greece, stays in Greece!”

I glared down at him playfully, “We can’t do this, okay? Not until I figure out what’s wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said seriously.

“I thought I explained to you last night that there was?” I sighed, “I just have to be okay with myself and the idea of you, us, before there can be and us.”

He sighed softly but nodded, “Alright. I understand, you need time and kissing is off the table.” His hands came out from under my shirt and he laced his fingers with mine.

“Thank you.”

He smiled up at me before he bit his lip, “Can I just ask one favor?”

“I guess.”

“Just one more kiss!”

“Harry,” I warned.

He scoffed, “We just made out on the couch for god knows how long and one more kiss is gonna make a difference?”

I rolled my eyes, “Didn’t we just agree to no more kissing?”

“Yeah, and I’m all for your rules after one more!” He stuck his bottom lip out in a pout, “Please?”

If I’ve learned anything since I’ve met him, it’s that he always gets what he wants because he knows how to use his looks and charm to his full advantage. “Fine,” I sighed. “One!” He smirked at me in triumph before he sat up and pushed me back against the couch so he was now on top of me. “Um, we said one.”

He shrugged, “Yeah, and we’re going to do it my way. Who knows how long you’re going to make me wait after this!”

And then he was kissing me again.

And it wasn’t just one short little kiss either. There was something about his lips that made me forget about the concept of time. His hands, and my hands, were everywhere and our hips were rolling in an amazing yes frustrating way.

We didn’t pull apart until we heard the garage door opening signaling the arrival of my mother.