I Can Feel You in My Bones

I wake up in my bunk, by myself, the events of last night still playing in my head. I’d only slept with one other person before TJ, but it was never like that. Last night was something else entirely.

I pull my sheets around the top half of my body, for modesty's sake, and reach out of my bunk to retrieve my clothes from the floor, where they were thrown last night; TJ’s are already gone.

I dress myself while still in the bunk and debate whether or not to get up. The bus is obviously moving so there doesn’t seem much point.

I wish TJ hadn’t left.

--
When the bus stops I am one of the first to get off. I really need some fresh air. I stretch my arms up above me, practically basking in the sunlight.

I haven’t seen TJ yet, but it is before midday so I’m hardly surprised.

“Ivy, we’re gonna go to the motel down the road and book a room for the night,” says Craig, as she appears behind me. “You know, take a shower, maybe get some sleep before tonight. Tomorrow’s an off day so we may as well.”

That sounds really nice actually. “Alright, awesome,” I say, with a bright smile.

--
I turn the water off and step out into the steamy bathroom. I wrap a towel around myself and quickly dry my hair somewhat with another before cautiously opening the door and looking out into the motel room.

I’m rooming with TJ but he’s still not here yet. I’m not sure where he is right now but it gives me a minute to change at least. I walk, briskly, across the room to my bag to get some clean clothes.

As I pull them from the bag and to the bed I hear a key in the lock. I freeze, instinctively holding my towel to myself as the door opens.

TJ stands in the doorway staring for a split second before stepping in and quickly pulling the door shut. “Bad time?” he questions, averting his eyes politely.

I grab my clothes from the bed and duck back into the bathroom to get dressed, nothing special just an oversized t-shirt and some shorts. As soon as I’ve thrown something on I open the bathroom door.

TJ is lying on the bed. There’s only one bed, we’re sharing.

TJ pulls himself upright, into a sitting position as I walk out; looking me up and down. “You didn’t have to bother, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” he reminds me slyly.

“Whatever,” I return rolling my eyes at him and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“So, what do you want to do?” he asks, sliding over to me. “We’ve got a few hours.” He leans into me, kissing my neck softly.

--
I hear the water shut off and maybe thirty seconds later TJ reappears from the bathroom, dripping wet and completely naked.

“Wow,” I comment. “You truly have no shame.”

“I’m a performer,” he returns, walking over to the bed crawling over to me.

“TJ!” I complain, while giggling. “You’re gonna get the sheets all wet!”

TJ mock gasps. “How dare I? That’s your job.”

I laugh as he kisses my collarbone.

I can think of worse ways to waste almost an entire day than having sex with TJ Bell in a cheap motel. The blinds are mostly shut but it looks like the sun has gone down outside so it’s been a good few hours.

I feel TJ’s wet fingers trail over my hip, making their way down my body.

“Oh my god, again?” I gasp. “Do you have an off switch?”

TJ stops, resting his head on my chest and looking at me. “Nope.”

“Well, we’ve gotta take a break because I’m tired,” I tell him.

“That’s fair,” he amends rolling off me and leaning over the edge for the bed to reach his pants.

I do the same, pulling my shirt back on. “So,” I mumble, looking over at him. “What now?”

TJ shrugs. “You can take a nap if you want, you probably need it.”

“And when I wake up we fuck again?” I ask, with a smirk.

“Maybe,” returns TJ, sliding down into the bed and searching around for the remote.

“It’s starting to feel like you’re just using me for my body,” I mutter.

TJ stops and turns to face me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I think I hit a nerve. “Relax, man. I was joking.”

“Really though, let’s just put it out there, don’t expect anything special from me,” he states, a hint of frustration in his voice. “I don’t want the fucking hassle, okay?”

“I know, that’s not what I meant,” I tell him defensively, but it doesn’t feel like he’s listening. "I was honestly joking, TJ."

“You’re not going to be my girlfriend, let’s make that clear. I've been in this mess with other girls before and I'm not doing it again. I just want someone to sleep with, if that's too much to ask for then let me know now, don't waste my time."

“What the fuck, TJ, why are you being such an asshole?” ask, now equally as pissed off.

“Why are you being such a child?” he returns.

“I’m not,” I spit back. “You’re the one throwing a tantrum.”

“You know what, it’s my fault for thinking nineteen-year-old could handle some casual sex,” he says condescendingly, shaking his head. “I’ll be sure not to make the same mistake again.”

“Fuck you, TJ.” I look away from him, pulling my knees into my chest.

TJ sighs angrily before grabbing the rest of his clothes and marching out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I sit alone in the silence for all of two seconds before bursting into tears.

I don’t let myself wallow for too long though. I’m not giving him the satisfaction.

I angrily wipe the tears from my face as I get up from the bed. Grabbing one of the pillows and some of the bedding and move to the other side of the room, I’m sleeping on the couch.