Sequel: Elysian ›
Status: In Progress
Restless Insomniacs
Yale.
Smoke whispers in and out of my lungs, I blow small puffs of smoke out of my mouth and for a single solitary minute they seem beautiful, they seem beautiful because they are murder. Each breath is a sweet serial killer and I am utterly and totally in love with them.
I do not for one minuscule second trust Daria, even in my sleep deprived state I can tell she left my car with a promise of nothing more than what I wanted to hear. I do not trust Daria because she reminds me of well me and I know I am utterly in love with my demons so what makes her any different?
I stub out my cigarette under my combat boot and make my way to Daria’s fourth session classroom. I had been forced and I do mean forced to talk to some of her vapid brain dead drones of friends to find out which class she had.
I lean against the side of the building her classroom is located in next to the door huddling into myself to avoid unnecessary touching and clutter. I hate being touched yet when it came to Daria earlier in the day I had not been able to resist reaching out and touching her and that seriously freaks me out, as students make the rush to their lockers for lunch out of the AP Biology class.
I notice Daria as the students disperse immediately, she is hard to miss, as she collects her books with her long dark hair and piercing green eyes. It is almost as if she is going in slow motion, she nods her head in recognition to a friend who is talking to her but really it looks like she is barely paying attention.
She pauses next to the big window and stares out of it for a moment and I can’t help but wonder what she is thinking, what is captivating her attention and it annoys the shit out of me because I don’t want to care, I don’t want to need to understand her. I know the truth behind my motives, and it is not because Daria is fascinating and wonderful in all the ways I am not it is because she reminds me of her and I will do anything to have her back.
When Daria turns around I am startled again by just how green her eyes are, they are like magnets pulling me in and I notice a beat later how her eyes are surrounded by deep set purple bags she has tried to hide with concealer but I see them.
I see the truth and I am again startled by just how much she reminds me of her, and how desperate I am for her back. I see her sleep deprived state and a sigh escapes my body because maybe Daria will understand, understand my perpetual state of wake.
“Hey princess” I say as she shuffles past me not noticing me at first until I speak her new nickname, I don’t know why I can’t just call her by her name, maybe it is more fun this way maybe it is because I don’t want to remember she is not her, I’m not sure.
Daria stares at me with a look of recognition and confusion, her friend from earlier whose name I think is Lara waits at her side with a look of dismay on her features waiting for Daria to turn her back on me, but I don’t think she will. I think Daria might just need me as much as I need her.
“Yale?” Daria asks her voice heavy with sleep it almost brings a smile to my stoic face. “I’ll catch up with you later Lara,” She says dismissing her friend coolly. Lara apparently does not appreciate being dismissed from the look on her face and stomps off in a huff. Daria barely takes notice she is busying inspecting every millimetre of my face, I look at the ground quickly.
There is the strangest feeling in the pit of my stomach like there are butterflies learning to fly. I feel strange under Daria’s stare like she might mean something more than being a replacement but I refuse to acknowledge it, I just want her to stop staring at me like that.
“I figured I’d come check up on you” Daria looks at me with a short look of annoyance like I have insulted her, the butterflies start doing nose dives colliding with my insides.
“I don’t need to be checked on,” She says as she starts walking, I pause for a minute unsure of whether to just walk away and leave her alone, for some reason I can’t and find myself falling in step with her grabbing her arm to just stop her for a moment so we can talk, so I can understand these stupid feelings.
She instantly stops and lets out a hiss of pain, I yank my hand away like I have been burnt feeling the butterflies make their way up to my throat, beating their wings against my closed lips,
“Shit, I’m sorry… I forgot” I tell her meaning it, she looks down at her cardigan which she has safety pinned together and surveys the makeshift fix, feeling awful for causing her pain. I offer her some honesty in a bid to keep her around, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay” I am not sure if I mean emotionally or physically I just know I want her to be okay and it is the strangest feeling I have ever experienced.
“Oh” She says in her small voice; she sounds almost as if she is surprised, I frown at her in confusion.
“Have you had your arm looked at?” I ask as she continues walking and I follow her a step behind to her locker. We pause once we arrive and she goes about putting in her code, I look away out of courtesy, she has a top locker and stretches to reach it and her cardigan rises with her and I notice the faint markings of a bruise. I am suddenly desperate to inspect every inch of her so I can inflict the same amount of pain on Alex Michaels.
“It’s fine,” She says noticing that my eyes have strayed to her exposed flesh, she blushes and quickly pulls down her top dropping to her flat feet and staring at me begging me to fight her about this. I consider walking away but again I can’t and I hate it with every fibre in my being.
Mostly, well mostly I hate Daria and these damn butterflies.
“My mum is a nurse, she can take a look” Daria pauses and frowns at me,
“Why do you care?” I pause not sure how much to divulge at this point but I figure maybe a little honesty can’t hurt,
“You remind me of someone, my… my sister” I don’t say anymore and I don’t think Daria expects anymore, she nods her head almost in understanding. I am grateful she does not ask for more than I can give. I stare at the small dark haired girl and for a moment lost my thoughts.
It is unsettling and I fucking hate it.
I do not for one minuscule second trust Daria, even in my sleep deprived state I can tell she left my car with a promise of nothing more than what I wanted to hear. I do not trust Daria because she reminds me of well me and I know I am utterly in love with my demons so what makes her any different?
I stub out my cigarette under my combat boot and make my way to Daria’s fourth session classroom. I had been forced and I do mean forced to talk to some of her vapid brain dead drones of friends to find out which class she had.
I lean against the side of the building her classroom is located in next to the door huddling into myself to avoid unnecessary touching and clutter. I hate being touched yet when it came to Daria earlier in the day I had not been able to resist reaching out and touching her and that seriously freaks me out, as students make the rush to their lockers for lunch out of the AP Biology class.
I notice Daria as the students disperse immediately, she is hard to miss, as she collects her books with her long dark hair and piercing green eyes. It is almost as if she is going in slow motion, she nods her head in recognition to a friend who is talking to her but really it looks like she is barely paying attention.
She pauses next to the big window and stares out of it for a moment and I can’t help but wonder what she is thinking, what is captivating her attention and it annoys the shit out of me because I don’t want to care, I don’t want to need to understand her. I know the truth behind my motives, and it is not because Daria is fascinating and wonderful in all the ways I am not it is because she reminds me of her and I will do anything to have her back.
When Daria turns around I am startled again by just how green her eyes are, they are like magnets pulling me in and I notice a beat later how her eyes are surrounded by deep set purple bags she has tried to hide with concealer but I see them.
I see the truth and I am again startled by just how much she reminds me of her, and how desperate I am for her back. I see her sleep deprived state and a sigh escapes my body because maybe Daria will understand, understand my perpetual state of wake.
“Hey princess” I say as she shuffles past me not noticing me at first until I speak her new nickname, I don’t know why I can’t just call her by her name, maybe it is more fun this way maybe it is because I don’t want to remember she is not her, I’m not sure.
Daria stares at me with a look of recognition and confusion, her friend from earlier whose name I think is Lara waits at her side with a look of dismay on her features waiting for Daria to turn her back on me, but I don’t think she will. I think Daria might just need me as much as I need her.
“Yale?” Daria asks her voice heavy with sleep it almost brings a smile to my stoic face. “I’ll catch up with you later Lara,” She says dismissing her friend coolly. Lara apparently does not appreciate being dismissed from the look on her face and stomps off in a huff. Daria barely takes notice she is busying inspecting every millimetre of my face, I look at the ground quickly.
There is the strangest feeling in the pit of my stomach like there are butterflies learning to fly. I feel strange under Daria’s stare like she might mean something more than being a replacement but I refuse to acknowledge it, I just want her to stop staring at me like that.
“I figured I’d come check up on you” Daria looks at me with a short look of annoyance like I have insulted her, the butterflies start doing nose dives colliding with my insides.
“I don’t need to be checked on,” She says as she starts walking, I pause for a minute unsure of whether to just walk away and leave her alone, for some reason I can’t and find myself falling in step with her grabbing her arm to just stop her for a moment so we can talk, so I can understand these stupid feelings.
She instantly stops and lets out a hiss of pain, I yank my hand away like I have been burnt feeling the butterflies make their way up to my throat, beating their wings against my closed lips,
“Shit, I’m sorry… I forgot” I tell her meaning it, she looks down at her cardigan which she has safety pinned together and surveys the makeshift fix, feeling awful for causing her pain. I offer her some honesty in a bid to keep her around, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay” I am not sure if I mean emotionally or physically I just know I want her to be okay and it is the strangest feeling I have ever experienced.
“Oh” She says in her small voice; she sounds almost as if she is surprised, I frown at her in confusion.
“Have you had your arm looked at?” I ask as she continues walking and I follow her a step behind to her locker. We pause once we arrive and she goes about putting in her code, I look away out of courtesy, she has a top locker and stretches to reach it and her cardigan rises with her and I notice the faint markings of a bruise. I am suddenly desperate to inspect every inch of her so I can inflict the same amount of pain on Alex Michaels.
“It’s fine,” She says noticing that my eyes have strayed to her exposed flesh, she blushes and quickly pulls down her top dropping to her flat feet and staring at me begging me to fight her about this. I consider walking away but again I can’t and I hate it with every fibre in my being.
Mostly, well mostly I hate Daria and these damn butterflies.
“My mum is a nurse, she can take a look” Daria pauses and frowns at me,
“Why do you care?” I pause not sure how much to divulge at this point but I figure maybe a little honesty can’t hurt,
“You remind me of someone, my… my sister” I don’t say anymore and I don’t think Daria expects anymore, she nods her head almost in understanding. I am grateful she does not ask for more than I can give. I stare at the small dark haired girl and for a moment lost my thoughts.
It is unsettling and I fucking hate it.
♠ ♠ ♠
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