Shadows Kiss

I was never so happy to see the end of an A7X tour in all my life. I couldn't wait to escape the bus. Since we had finished up in Europe, Sully had called Matt and invited us to come visit his place deep in the countryside of England. I was stunned when we pulled up to a giant castle that was built in the early 1400's. It was deep in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothing but fields and forests. The sight of the grand castle and it's beautiful grounds were simply breathtaking.

We had already been here for about two weeks. Everyone was enjoying their stay, particularly myself. It was nice to be among another Wiccan. Sully was even helping the boys work on new music. He had his very own recording studio in the dungeon of the castle. They spent most of their time there, while I spent most of mine walking the grounds alone.

"Well I think I am going to go lay down." I stood up to stretch.

"Really? But it's only twelve?" Brian looked up from his guitar at me in amazement.

"Yes, but it's been a long day and I am tired." I rubbed at my heavy eyes.

"I will come with you." Matt stood from his place on the stool that was placed in front of a mic.

"No, no don't be silly, stay. Hang out with the guys and play your music." I stopped him.

"Are you sure?" Matt was hesitant to let me go alone.

"Yes, I'm sure. I am a big girl, I can go to bed by myself." I smiled, patting his tattooed covered arm.

"Okay, I love you." He attempted to smile, but still looked as if he was pouting.

"I love you too." I kissed him gently. I will see you boys in the morning." I waved.

"Sleep well, Lady Shadows." Sully smiled to me, from his leather chair across the room.

"Thank you." I answered. I turned and made my way out of the studio and up the stairs, and finally to the quiet room. Here I could no longer hear the screaming guitars, or the beating of the drums, or the sound of their voices. Here it was completely quiet, so peaceful. I reach into my bag and pulled out my journal. I seated myself at a desk looking over the moor. I looked up at the moon, smiling to myself at how radiant it seemed tonight.

I began to write, then I stopped to see a single candle on the desk. "Use the candle if you need it." I remembered hearing Sully say. I picked up the matches inside the drawer and lit the candle. Suddenly I felt my spirit lifted. I breathed in the sweet warm scent of the candle and slowly let it out. 'Sully was right, I really did need it.' I thought to myself. I felt like me again; strong, powerful, magical again. I looked up to the moon seeing it in a new, brighter light.

I turned around to make sure that no one was there....no one. I turned back to face the candle, then I looked down at my tea cup. I closed my eyes, and slowly let my mind relax. I let everything go. I slowly breathed in the magick pouring from the candle and I held it in for a moment, then slowly let it go again, over and over. Then I heard it, the sound of the spoon scraping the bottom of the cup as it spun round and round. I opened my eyes, watching as the spoon stirred my tea, without a hand to guide it. "I've still got it." I whispered with a smile to myself.

With the spoon still stirring my tea, I began to write. I wrote of all the craziness that I was going through and how wonderful Matt was. I wrote of love, all forms of it. From the existing love I had for my family and friends, the new love I found in the guys, the real love that had come to be with Matthew, but most importantly the strong love I had for my magick. No longer was it just me and that moon. There was finally a man. And we had a love that I had only read about in story books, the kind of love that even time would lay down and be still for. I had finally found real, true, pure love in Matthew Charles Sanders.

"I see you found the candle useful." A voice cut into the silence. My heart dropped and so did the spoon making a loud clanging noise.

I turned to see Sully smiling at me, leaned against the door frame. "Oh gods, you scared the hell out of me!" I laughed, placing a hand on my heart.

"I am terribly sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." He stepped closer, walking with his hands in the pockets of his tight jeans.

"Oh it's okay, I was just totally lost in my thoughts. I need to be more aware of my surroundings when I, um...get like that." I looked into his enchanting green eyes. He ran a hand through his dark, spikey hair, glancing at my cup then back to me.

"Please don't let me stand in your way." He held his hand out toward it and the spoon began to spin again.

"How long have you been standing there?" I looked up at him in shock.

"For about ten minutes." He laughed, resting a hand on the desk.

"Why didn't you say something?" I closed my journal, feeling naked with it lying open in front of him.

"You looked too peaceful, I didn't want to interrupt." He shrugged his broad shoulders.

"Okay, so you seen that?" I pointed to the spoon.

"Yes, but don't worry, I'm not going to reveal anymore of your secrets. I will leave those to you." he held his hands up, with a smirk on his face.

"Thanks." My blue eyes went back to the cup.

"I knew you had powers, your magick is too strong, I could feel it." He crossed his arms over his chest, cocking a thick eyebrow at me.

"Really?" I stared back at him, stunned by his words.

"Yes." He turned, gazing out the window beside me, "Look at that moon."

"I know, it's beautiful." I looked up at it as well, noticing the bright, white ring around it.

"It's a full moon, a night for magick." He smiled to me.

"Any plans?" I felt compelled to ask, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you would like to join me?" His green eyes locked with mine.

"What will we do?" I wondered.

"Teach each other about our magick."

"Okay, when?"

"I was thinking after the boys went to sleep, because I am guessing that you don't want an audience."

"No, not exactly." I bit down on my full bottom lip.

"That's what I thought." He let out a deep chuckle.

"Hey guys." Matt stepped into the room, walking up behind us.

"Hey baby." I answered, putting my hand on the spoon to stop it.

"I thought you were going to sleep." He didn't seem to notice.

"Well I thought about it, but then I decided to write a little."

"Oh, in your Book of Shadows?" He smiled.

"No, just my journal." I looked back down at the leather bound book, placing a hand on it.

"Ah." He nodded, also looking down at it.

"Yeah, but I am getting sleepy now." I yawned.

"Okay well, I will let you two get to sleep then." Sully turned towards the door, "Goodnight Lord and Lady Shadows." He bowed to us.

"Goodnight Sully." We both answered.

He stopped just outside the doorway, looking at me once more. "When he falls asleep meet me in the parlor." I could faintly hear him whisper, but his lips never moved. Neither did Matt, he simply stood staring at me. It was as if Sully's voice was in my head. Did I really hear that? "Do you understand?" I heard him again.

I projected my thoughts to him, "The parlor?"

"Yes."

"Okay, got it."

Then he was gone. Matt moved back into my line of vision. "So what were you and Sully talking about?" He wondered.

"We were just talking about the moon." I pointed out the window to it.

"The moon huh?" He laid back on the bed, resting on his elbows.

"Yeah, it's pretty important in the craft." I explained, standing to make my way to the bed.

"I see. So is tonight something special?" Matt asked, watching as I moved through the room.

"Well it's a full moon, it's a night for magick." I placed my earrings on the vanity, then slid my pants down.

"So is there some ritual you are supposed to do?" He rolled over on his side, still watching me.

"No, not exactly." I laughed, "Well some witches do, I suppose." I shrugged, then removing my bra, climbing onto the giant bed.

"But not this one right?" He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me over on his chest.

"Right. I just do what I feel is necessary." I ran my hand down his chest over each bulging muscle in his abdomen.

"Oh, well do I need to leave you alone?" I felt him tracing the outline of my panties on my hip.

"No, I have already done enough magick for the night." I looked back up into those amazing hazel eyes.

"Oh?" He pushed further, with an inquisitive expression.

"Yeah." I simply answered.

"Okay." He let it go.

"Well hey, let's go to bed. You got a big day tomorrow." I rolled over, sliding my hand under my pillow.

"Okay." He agreed, rolling over and snuggling up to me, making sure his body was as close to mine as possible. His arm found it's usual spot around my waist, pulling me back into him, wanting to be positive not even an ounce of air remained between us.

.................................................................................................................................................

Nearly an hour went by and even though no words were spoken, all that could be heard was the deafening silence around us, I knew he was still awake. I lay perfectly still, waiting for the moment when sleep would come to overtake him.

Finally about half an hour later I slowly felt his energy begin to fade, soon enough he was dreaming. I lifted his heavy arm off me and slid out of the bed. "It's time." I heard Sully's voice in my head.

"I'm coming." I answered him. I crept out of the room and down the long spiral staircase. I could see a glow coming from the edge of the hallway. I moved into the parlor to see a brilliant fire burning. Sully was seated with his back turned towards me, facing the fire.

"I'm so glad you came." He announced and he stood to face me.

"So where are we going?" I whispered.

"Come, you will see." He took my hand and led me back down the hallway and out the back doors. From there we moved through the garden and into the open field behind the castle. I could see a small outline of trees in the bright light of the moon. "That's where we are heading." Sully pointed to the trees. He led me through the darkness. Once we made our way past the grove of trees there was a perfect circle of a meadow. A fire was burning brightly in the very center. A blanket was on the ground with candles placed all around it. There was a silver pentagram in the middle. "Please sit." He said.

I took a seat on one side of the pentagram and he on the other. "Wow Sully, it's amazing out here."

"Isn't it though?" He looked around with pride on his face, knowing this land was all his.

"Yes." I stared in wonder. The moon was directly above us.

"She is lending us her light." He smiled and I couldn't help but to smile too.

"So what now?" I turned my gaze back upon his dimly lit face.

"Give me your hands." I placed my hands in his. "First we are to ask for the protection of the guardians and then we are to give thanks to our goddess. Then we will show each other what we can do."

"Okay." I agreed.

We cast the circle and called down the guardians, then said a prayer to the goddess, thanking her for such a magical night and shining her beautiful light upon us.

"Okay you go first. You already seen something that I can do." I volunteered him.

"Okay." He closed his eyes and held out his hands in the air. Slowly a small fire began to burn from his palms. "How's that?" He held out his hand to me, the fire still burning bright.

"Amazing!" My eyes grew wide, as I clapped.

He laughed. "Okay, you go."

"Okay, hmm, let's see." I thought for a minute. "Oh okay, I got it." I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I wanted to happen. Slowly I moved my fingers through my hair, changing the color. After my hand passed over it, what used to be blond became black.

"Nice, very nice. Do it again." He nodded towards me.

"Okay pick a color." I said, smiling to him.

"Purple."

"Okay, purple." I moved my hands over my hair and it became bright purple.

"Fabulous! Do mine!" He ordered with excitement.

"Okay what color?"

"Green!"

"Okay." I laughed. I moved my hands over his thick, dark hair.

He lifted the pentagram and on the other side was a mirror, he inspected himself for a moment. "Wow, it's really green!"

"Yeah!" I laughed at his amazement.

"What about your eyes?" He asked, setting the pentagram back in its place.

I waved my hand past my eyes, opening them to reveal the stunning purple to match my hair.

"You're amazing!" He remarked at my skills.

"Not hardly. Okay, now you show me something."

"Okay." He put his hand on the ground. A moment later a rose bush started to grow rapidly. He picked a solid red rose off the bush and handed it to me. "For you."

"Impressive, no thorns." I mused at him.

"Yeah so see, Bret Michaels was lying." We burst into laughter. "Your turn." He pointed to me.

"Okay, give me your athame." I held my hand out. He reach it to me. I ran the blade over the palm of my hand and the blood began to pour.

"Oh gods Alice! Don't hurt yourself!" He screamed, starting to panic.

"Calm down, it's fine, just watch." I took my other hand and held it over my palm. After a few seconds I lifted my hand. There was no blood, no cut, no sign I had harmed myself at all.

"How did you do that?" His eyes were huge as he looked from my hand up to me in shock.

"I'm not sure how I do it, I just know I can." I shrugged.

"I have never seen a self-healing witch. I mean yes, for thousands of centuries witches have made potions or created spells to heal the sick, but I have never seen anything like that!" He shook his head fiercely, still puzzled by my magick.

"Really? I thought it was common." I gave him an unsure look.

"Okay, how many witches do you know that can do that?"

"Well, actually I am the only one."

"See!" He yelled, proving his point.

"That's only because I don't know many other witches." I explained.

"Well I know thousands, and I have never seen or heard of anything like what you just did. I have never even read about it."

"What can I say? I am one of a kind." I batted my eyelashes. Sully laughed.

We spent the rest of the night doing tricks for one another. Finally after about three hours of magick the sun had arose and began to chase the moon away. We packed everything up and made our way back to the castle. We were laughing and joking when we opened the door to see a room full of boys.

"Hi guys." Matt said calmly.

"Oh hey Matt." Sully answered, all the joy drained from his voice.

"Hey honey." I said, closing the doors behind me.

"Did you two have a good time?" Matt looked at me seriously.

"Yeah, we did actually." I answered. I looked over at the guys who sat silently, they almost looked terrified. "What are you guys doing up?"

"Matt woke us up." Brian grumbled, clearly in a grumpy mood.

"Is something wrong?" I turned back to Matt, confused.

"Uh well, yeah it looks like it." He said in a smart ass tone.

"Matt?" I stepped closer, looking at him sideways, trying to figure out what was going on.

"You are coming in at six am carrying a blanket with Sully? You snuck out of bed without saying a word, just to go out with him in the middle of the night?" His voice became louder.

"Matt, it's not like that." I held my hands out, trying to calm him down and to make him understand.

"Really Alice? What's it like then?" He crossed his arms over his large chest, giving me a cold stare.

"We were just doing some magick." I answered honestly.

"What happened to the 'I have done enough magick for the night' speech you gave me?"

"Matt, I'm sorry but I didn't think you guys would understand this stuff, and Sully is the only other witch like me that I have met."

"So you couldn't take me with you?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"So what you are saying is that you don't trust me?"

"How can I now?" Matt yelled throwing his hands up.

"Well, you should have in the first place." I shot him a look.

"No, you should have trusted me enough to know that I do understand your magick. Maybe I can't do it, but that doesn't mean that I don't understand it. You could take the time to teach me and show me, not Sully!" He pointed a finger towards the man holding a blanket, standing across the room.

"Well excuse the hell out of me! Forgive me Matthew! Please almighty Lord Shadows, do forgive me! For I am such a foolish girl! I do not know what I was thinking when I decided to open up to a person about what I am and what I can do. Forgive me for choosing the only other person here who is like me, someone who can understand it better than anyone else in this fucking room! I kneel down at your feet Lord Shadows, do forgive this lost soul!" I gave him a wicked look.

"Stop acting like that!" He shouted at me.

"Then tell me Lord Shadows, how should I behave? Since your way is the only way! Tell me how I can please you? Since all I have done lately is bend to your every need! And yet nothing I do is good enough! I leave my family and friends behind to come on this exhausting tour with you, I never have any time to myself, I am dying here in your box of perfection! I'm not myself anymore. I am going insane! And no matter what I do, I can't escape you!" I screamed in anger.

"Stop!" He yelled.

"No Matt, you stop!" I moved to walk past him for the stairs.

"I said stop!" He grabbed my arm with force, whirling my body around to face him. My energy came forth and sent Matt sailing across the room.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled running up the stairs.

"What the fuck just happened?" Brian jumped up from off the couch and ran to Matt's side.

"I told you Matt, I fuckin told you! You should know by now that she loves you! If you act like this you are only going to push her away!" Zacky screamed into the room.

"Shut up Zack!" Matt screamed back.

"She will leave you now! And she will never return because of your cold selfishness, and you will only have yourself to blame!" Zacky yelled over him. "Then you'll end up alone and hating yourself for it, just like Brian!"

I came running back down the stairs carrying my purse and a bag. "Alice wait! Please wait!" Matt called to me. But I kept walking towards the door.

"Alice, what about your stuff?" Johnny asked standing from the couch, with sad eyes.

"You can fuckin ship it to me." I growled over my shoulder.

"But Alice, where are you going to go?" Brian questioned.

"I will let you know when I figure it out." Really not having a plan at all.

"Alice please listen to me!" Matt ran to me.

"No Matt, stay away from me!" I raised my hand that created an invisible wall that he couldn't break through.

"Alice! Alice please! Alice!" He continued to scream. But it was too late, I was already gone.

.................................................................................................................................................

I had already called a taxi, and it was waiting outside. I got in and slammed the door. "Where to lady?" The driver asked, with a thick British accent.

"The nearest airport, please." I said sniffling, wiping at my streaming tears.

"Hey aren't you?" He looked up into the mirror at me.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Thought so, are you okay Mrs. Shadows?" The man looked concerned.

"That's not my name anymore, my name is Alice, and yes I am fine." I snapped.

"Okay, I'm sorry." He pulled out of the driveway and I laid my head against the window. It began to rain outside and that only made me want to cry even more. Once at the airport I caught the first flight to Charlotte. I would figure out a way to get home from there.