Controlled Demolition

No one ever tells you that you shouldn’t have an affair with your teacher.

Okay, maybe they do. Maybe it’s just a widely accepted fact that this is the type of relationship that is wrong. And maybe I was just young and naïve, though I would never care to admit it.

I wanted desperately to believe that nothing could ever go wrong, that things would be perfect. I was so blinded by Pete and what I imagined us to be that I couldn’t see that things weren’t perfect. It didn’t matter that I’d basically lost my only friend, or that I was sneaking around and hiding things from my mom. None of it mattered one little bit to me, because all that mattered to me was Pete. I honestly believed that I was falling in love.

The only problem was, I was falling and there was no one there to catch me. Not even Pete.

---

“I haven’t seen Jess in a while.”

My mom was standing inside the door to my bedroom, leaning against the doorframe and watching me carefully. I put down the book I had been reading and met her steady gaze.

“She’s been busy lately,” I lied, trying my hardest not to break eye contact. I didn’t like lying, but especially didn’t like lying to my mom.

I looked down at the book in my hands, running a hand along its edge knowing that my mom was watching me carefully.

“Well, just know that I’m here if you ever need to talk to me about anything,” she said. She turned to leave and paused. “Don’t forget you’re bringing me to work in an hour.”

“I won’t,” I answered, which happened to be the most honest thing I had said.

There was no way I was going to forget when my mom had to go to work because that just meant I’d get to see Pete once I was back.

After bringing my mom to work and reassuring her that everything was fine, I returned to our apartment and knocked on Pete’s door. He usually just yelled for me to come in but today it was silent. I knocked again and waited, but still nothing. I tried the door, thinking maybe he might be in the shower or something where he couldn’t hear me, but it was locked.

I pulled out my cell phone and sent him a quick text: Where are you? Just dropped my mom off at work.

I went into my apartment, and plopped down on the couch in the living room, hoping Pete would text me back soon. Pete had been hesitant at giving me his number, but finally he had agreed as long as I didn’t store him in my phone under his name. He was completely paranoid that somehow we’d be found out, which was understandable seeing as he was risking so much by being with me. To make him happy though, I had labeled him ‘P’ in my phone, which he seemed fine with.

I checked my phone after a few minutes and still there was no response. I sighed, turning on the TV to distract myself from checking my phone every 10 seconds. I could be impatient sometimes.

---

I woke up suddenly, still on the couch and unable to recall actually falling asleep. I must have been out for a while because there was a late night talk show on. A loud knocking sounded on my door, and I knew immediately that was what had initially woken me up.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stood up off the couch, running a hand through my hair as I made my way to the door. When I opened the door I wasn’t too surprised to see Pete standing there, grinning at me.

I smiled back at him, thrown off by his ecstatic expression.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “Where have you been?”

Pete stepped forward, grasping my hips and pushing us into the apartment before he closed the door.

“‘M fine,” he mumbled, leaning forward to kiss me. “I went out with Patrick. Missed you.”

He kissed me again quickly before turning me around, pressing my back against his front and walking us to my bedroom. His hands found their way under my shirt and before I knew it he was yanking it over my head, tossing it onto my floor before he turned me back around.

His lips found mine once again, and his tongue slipped between my parted lips just as his hands cupped my breasts over my bra.

I pulled away as he pushed me down onto the bed and watched as he sluggishly made his way over me. He yanked down one of my bra straps and kissed me again with desperation.

Suddenly things became clear as I put together the way that he was acting, and the way he tasted, and even how his smell was somehow off. I pushed at him gently and he looked down at me in slight confusion. His eyes were dark and any other time I would savor being swallowed in their abyss.

“Pete are you drunk?” I asked. He grinned down at me and leaned forward to kiss me again, but I turned my head, his lips landing on my cheek. “I really don’t want to do this if you’re drunk.”

Pete sighed and sat up.

“So what if I’m drunk?” he said. The grin came back full force and I could see the sly glint in his eye. “I’d still be the best sex you’ve ever had.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not doing this,” I said, readjusting my bra as I sat up beside him. “I should be mad at you anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because you didn’t tell me you were going out,” I answered. “And you didn’t text me back.”

Pete stood up.

“I’m gonna go,” he said, opening up my bedroom door.

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t come here to be hounded about my own personal business,” he said. “I’m not your boyfriend, so stop acting like it.”

He left quickly before I could respond. Not that I even knew how to respond. I knew, even though I didn’t want to admit it, that he was somewhat right. I just couldn’t accept it.