Meet Me by the River's Edge

"If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right
I must've done something right"

The morning after Halloween was weird in some way.

When I woke up I was still cuddled tightly to Jack's body. He snored softly next to me and it was seriously one of the cutest things I had ever seen. He looked so peaceful and ... innocent. Both words I would not connect to Jack Barakat.

The room was flooded with bright beams of the morning sun and as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't go back to sleep.

But hey, Jack kept me here so if I can't sleep, neither should he. I lifted my head a little to level with his cheek and blew a raspberry on his skin which made him jolt up.

" What was that ? " he asked, looking around confusedly. God his morning voice could definitely be my cause of death...it was so sexy.

" That was your wakeup call Jack. Come on get up "
Jack wiped the slumber from his eyes and turned to me.

" Alright, let's go raid Alex' fridge. See if there's anything edible...but you have to cook it just so you know "

" Oh I know. I've seen your cooking skills "

Jack tickled my sides before he got up and pulled me with him. I was still wearing my costume from last night ... but as we walked through the hall I caught sight of myself in the mirror... I looked trashed.

The weird part of this morning though, was what happened when we entered the kitchen.

Clover was munching away on a soggy toast with butter and jelly and Alex sat next to her with a
coffee in hand and a sour expression on his face.

When we greeted them good morning, all they answered us were annoyed grunts and mumbled.

" Geez what got your panties in a bunch ? " Jack blurted out while stuffing his face with the bacon that was standing on the counter, no doubt this was Clover's doing. This girl was heaven sent, honestly.

" Leave it Jack " Alex grumbled and got up to pour himself another cup.

" Billie, can we leave ? I have a late shift at work and I don't want to arrive there in..this costume.
And ... I feel dirty and used and ugh " she asked but something was odd...her words were laced with
a hint of subtle anger and malice.

" Uh ... yeah we can. Jack, I'll see you Monday, you promised to help me packing for tour. Lexi, thanks for the party and letting me sleep on your couch "

I hugged the guys goodbye and Jack placed a kiss on my hair before Clover and I made our way home.

The whole drive, Clover didn't even say a single word. Nothing. Quirky, bubbly Clover, had nothing to say.

" Okay what is it ? Clo, something is wrong. What is it ? "

" Nothing Billie, everything is fine. Okay ? "
I knew she was lying. But why ? Why to me of all people ?

" Clove.."

" Drop it Anabelle, it's of no significance whatsoever. " she spat out angrily.

Alright if she wanted to have it that way, she could have it.

" Alright, geez " I grumbled and we drove on in complete silence.



I didn't find out what was wrong with Clover that morning but she was back to her happy-go-lucky self by the next day, so I tried to ignore it and not over analyze it.

As planned Jack came over the following Monday and helped me to pack for the tour he invited me to.

To my benefit, never having taken a day off made it possible for me to get free from work for the whole 7 weeks we were going on tour. I was giddy and excited.

The guys promised me to make it the best time I've ever had and so far I could definitely see that as a possibility.

" Do I need this ? " I held up a warm cuddly jacket with lots of fur.

" Oh geez Billie that thing is an abomination "

I softly stroked the furry jacket and pouted.

" Don't listen to him, I think you're very pretty and comfy "

Jack laughed at me and shook his head before he started to rummage through my clothes.

" Oh ho ho Billie you definitely need to take this with you "

I turned around and he was holding up the skimpiest lingerie set I owned.

It wasn't skimpy in the ' ooh that's slutty' - way but more in the ' That is so cute, can I lick whipped cream of your body while you wear it ' - way.

The pink bra and panties were patterned with white polka dots and the panties were ruffled to look like a little skirt.

" I would LOVE to see you in that "

" You saw me naked ... it's not like there's anything you haven't seen " I didn't want to have this talk, come on Jack leave it.

He nodded and smirked a little, and I was sure I really didn't want to know what he was thinking about.

" Take this though, this is really pretty "

I turned around again, expecting another lacy bra or something like that, but no.

Jack held up a bright blue dress I had bought a while ago. I never got around to wear it though.

" I don't think that's appropriate attire for a rock tour though, is it ? "

Jack raised an eyebrow and threw me a mocking glance.

" Billie, we go out 4 of 5 nights. There will definitely be a night were this dress is appropriate. Take it ! "

He threw the dress at me and I placed it in my suitcase along with a pair of heels and a pair of black boots.

" Oh oh...and don't forget the notebook. Let me see what we can do while we're on tour "

Jack said and looked through Mattie's notebook. His eyebrows furrowed and straightened, he chuckled and scoffed. I caught myself just staring at him while he read through the list.

" We're soooo gonna go to the Walk of Fame in LA and the Hollywood sign...I'm pretty sure Rian is taking us all on a coffee date in Seattle anyway ... then oh yeah Fisherman's wharf San Francisco, Gambling in Vegas ... hmm we don't have a Vegas stop so maybe another time, Watch a open mic night in a Country bar in Texas, sooo yes to that "

I don't know if he was talking to me or himself, but I liked his plan. He was going to take me see the US and have fun AND I could tick some things of Mattie's bucket list.

Win-Win situation don't you think ?

" I like this one " Jack chimed up and lifted his head to look at me.

I turned around and nodded my head to signal him to elaborate.

" When in Chicago (and I know you will go there sooner or later), go all the way up on Sears Tower. And when you're on the very top, look down. Look at it all and look how vast it is, and how wide ... and how beautiful. The world is at your feet Billie. Don't dwell on things that happened in the past, don't get stuck on me. Live Billie. You're a smart girl, and the world is at your feet. You just have to reach out your hand and grab it "

Wow, Mattie really believed in me huh ? Sometimes, just sometimes I feel like she would be disappointed in the way I'm managing my life right now.

" She's right you know ? You always act like you're some big fuck up. But you're not Anabelle. I think you can do some great things if only you'd believe in yourself. " Jack looked at me intensely. That was a first, he really thought so huh ? Really believed I could be great at something. Reach something.

" Thank you Jack " I went over and hugged him tightly. Jack placed a soft kiss on my temple and pulled me onto his lap. Together we flicked through the book before Jack stopped abruptly.

" Wait, WAIT, #10 ... Go to prom. Does that mean you never went to prom ? "

I shook my head No. I never went to prom, I wanted but then Mattie got worse and I just had to be there for her. She could've died any second of any day, I couldn't leave her side, I didn't want to leave her side, not even for Prom.

And it's not like I had friends who would've been waiting for me there either.

" I had to take care of my sister "

Jack's eyes went sad and his lips were pressed to a straight line.

" I'm sorry "

This time it was me to comfort him, so I stroked his unruly skunk hair and kissed the top of his head.

" Don't be Jack-o, it's okay "

" I'm gonna make sure to give you a prom, a great one. Trust me "
I didn't question him any further but took the book and placed it in my bag.

" You look really pretty today Billie, messy braid and sweat shorts and all. Extra Credit for the Ravens shirt " Jack winked and left for the kitchen to get himself another beer while I continued packing for the tour.

I couldn't wait for it to start.



" Let's go bitcheeeees " Alex hollered as we entered the bus.

I was dumbstruck. I mean I knew technically how a Tour Bus would look like but still. It was so big and comfortable and ... amazing.

Of course it would get cramped with several guys on here but still, this was amazing.

" I call dibs on this bunk, Billie is across from me " Jack called, making sure to save the best bunk for himself ... and the one across for me. A top bunk would've been cool but oh well.

" Alright get settled and CALM DOWN, and then we're off " Their tour manager Matt (I refuse to let Matt go!) announced as he walked onto the vehicle.

Jack took my bag and threw it somewhere by my bunk before going to the backroom and jumping on the sofa together with Rian.

Zack fixed himself a drink, Matt had his nose stuck in some paperwork ... so that only left Alex.
... who was playing with his phone, smiling dreamily. Who was he texting ? Maybe it was Mystery
girl...maybe Mystery Girl wasn't me after all.

" Who you texting sweet cheeks ? "

Alex looked at me with wide eyes, like I had just caught him mid watching porn or something.
OOOOhhh maybe he was sexting someone.

" Uh, no one really "

" Alex you're blushing, come on tell me "

He moved his cell phone away as I tried to take a peak on the screen.

" No one Billie, it's nothing "

Oh it was definitely something.

So I did what every nosey person would do. I took desperate measures.
I tickled his sides.

That, of course, made him squirm and laugh and squeal but in the end, I succeeded. I held the phone in my hand and opened the last conversation ... and my jaw dropped.

" Clover Gail "




He was texting Clover ? He asked Clover on a date !

" Clover ? You're talking to Clove ? CLOVE IS MYSTERY GIRL ? "

Alex waved his hands fanatically and shook his head eagerly.

" Stop shhh. Don't let anyone hear you. Especially not Zack "

" But they're not together, things didn't work out "

" I know but ... it's still not cool you know "

I could understand, I guess. But I really wanted to know more. So I was sure to get him alone
someday during this tour. And Clove, she had a thing coming. How could she not tell me this ?

And what the fuck happened Halloween Night ?

" Alright off we go " Matt called from the front and the bus started moving to the first stop of the tour.



Touring was both - Great and Shitty.

Shitty, because the bus became uncomfortable after the first three nights of sleeping in a bunk. And it was very exhausting to stay up late most nights AND carry boxes in and out of the van, EVERY NIGHT.

Great, because I was surrounded by people I really liked and that really liked me. They made me feel like I belonged just there, with them. And I had sooo much fun.

Also great, was watching them on stage. They had such an energy, the smiles on their faces were wider than I've ever seen them before. Seeing them happy, seeing Jack happy, made the bus situation and the exhaustion every night really worth it.

We were on the road for a bit now, we went to LA and it was amazing. I could tick several things of the list and the guys promised me to take me back here someday.
Same for San Francisco, the city was so happy and colorful and fun, it was like a small theme park filled with lots of artsy people and your occasional Meth Junkie.

Currently we were in Austin, Texas. The guys had just finished a show and tomorrow was a day off so we decided to go hard tonight. Though we weren't to keen of your usual dance clubs we asked the internet and found a little place called ' The Continental Club ' which was a little club opened in the 1950's that seemed to still have it's old charm and they also had an open mic night which Alex was super excited about.

I got dressed in the blue dress that Jack forced me to pack. I was glad I did, I felt really pretty in it. I rounded the outfit with my black heeled boots and went for deep black eye makeup.

My hair was styled in some crazy,braided updo that Clover showed me how to do. Clover the little sneaky fox, I talked to her and she promised me to give me the full story about her and Alex as soon as I was back home and I would definitely remember her of that!



The wind was chilly as we walked to the club but Jack kept rubbing my arms so that made it a little better.

" This club is amazing " Alex exclaimed as we walk in. He was right it really was, very cool.

There was a guy on stage with a worn out, slightly trashed acoustic guitar. He had a long beard and a plaid shirt and his voice was deep and raspy. He must've been at least 60.

He was singing some kind of country song and it sounded amazing. He sang it with so much love and emotion. As I listen closer I could hear that it was indeed a love song.

"But you're not just time that I'm killing
I'm no longer one of those guys
As sure as I live
This love that I give
Is gonna be yours until the day that I die
Oh baby

I'm gonna love you forever
Forever and ever, amen "

The guys found a place to sit and we all ordered some beers and a shot to go along with it.

My eyes were still fixed on the old man, I really wanted to know his story. He meant what he was singing, every word every syllable.

As he strummed the last chord the room erupted in applause and whistles. He put the guitar away and for the first time since we walked in he looked at the crowd. And then looked back down ... and blushed.

" Thank you all profoundly for this amazing feedback. I just wanted to say that this song is called ' Forever and Ever, Amen ' by a singer called ' Randy Travis ' and ... this song means a lot to me. It's about being a wild, reckless man ... a guy who doesn't like commitment, but then he meets this girl and changes his ways completely ... because she's THE ONE. And even when she's old and grey he will love her. Forever and ever.
This song means a lot because it's basically my life. I met my wife Wendy when I was 24 and I was a reckless vagabond ... but she changed me. Because she was THE ONE. Wendy passed away last year ... and I miss her every single day. Today would be our 40th anniversary. I love you Wendy " and with that he left the stage.

Wow. 40 years. The ONE. Again I got caught in my daydream while sipping on my drinks...and slowly but surely the alcohol made it's way into my system.

I got ripped from my thoughts when the presenter was on stage and tapped the mic three times to get people's attention.

" And our next singer is already up here, he's not a local so give him a roar of applause and make sure he comes around again. This is Alex Gask...Gaskar...Gaskarth ? And on Guitar his friend Jack Ba .. Ba..Jack, his friend Jack "

Zack and Rian were in giggles while I stared. Alex and Jack were up there about to play in a little cozy club and I was sure I would remember this night for a long time. This was beautiful.

" Alright uh ... this song is called 'Must have done something right ' by a band called Relient K ... we're playing an acoustic version " Alex mumbled while focusing on the ground.

" Oh and this song goes out to a girl who's at home in Baltimore .... hopefully, maybe thinking about me . This goes out to my Flame Princess "

Clover, he was dedicating a song to Clover.

I pulled my phone out of my purse and pressed the record button, I had to preserve this moment and show it to her.

Before Alex started though, Jack stood up and whispered something in his ear and then sat back down.

" oh I was just informed that it also goes out to the gorgeous blonde girl with the sparkling blue eyes.
This also goes out to Shortie "

Me. Jack dedicated the song ... to me.

I would DEFINITELY remember tonight.

"We should get jerseys cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealously, they can see that we've got it going on"

A love song, this was a love song.

"And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're OK with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen"

I didn't want a relationship, I really didn't, but in some weird twisted, fucked up way ... this is how I felt. And that both, excited me and scared me shitless.

The guys didn't look up, not once. I so desperately wanted to connect eyes with Jack and tell him I felt like this too. Not love but deep deep affection. This whole thing was really new to me. But I didn't want to let him dangle over the edge without knowing what I knew.

I wouldn't say I love you, not in THAT way.

I wouldn't agree to a relationship either.

But I would let him know in one way or another.