Shivers

I woke up in a strange hotel. My head was pounding like a drum. I groaned. I felt sick to my stomach. I must be hung-over, I thought. I stretched, but then I felt something shift on my chest, and a tiny, female moan. I looked down. There was definitely a girl lying on my body. I couldn’t see her face, but the dirty-blonde Gaskarth hair gave it all away. It was Casey. I felt a shock of fear shoot through my stomach. My brain immediately began to blow up with questions. Why is she sleeping with me? Did I fuck her? Why are we in a hotel? I figured that we must’ve gone to one in our drunkenness last night. I exhaled, relieved, to find that we both had all our clothes on. One part of me was thinking, “Thank God we didn’t fuck, Alex would’ve killed me.” But the other half was upset that I didn’t get laid the night before. Oh well. Maybe some other time. I thought with a smirk.

I felt Casey’s small hands grip the fabric of my shirt. I looked down at her. I heard her yawn, then groan. She lifted her head sleepily. Her eyes widened as she realized that she had been cuddling me all night. She sat up, hands close to her chest. She had a terrified expression on her face. “I-I… um…” she tried to find something to say. I sighed and smiled. “You’re fine.” I said. “It’s okay. You can lie back down if you want.” She had a skeptical look on her face, but she slowly laid back down. Her head rested back on my chest, but this time, she wrapped her thin arms around my torso. She sighed. I was a bit surprised. Still holding me in her small embrace, she looked up at me.

“We got drunk last night, didn’t we?” she said. I smiled and nodded. She buried her face down into my shirt. I put my hands on her back and tried my best to hug her back in the position that I was in. I looked around the hotel room. I guess the hotel we rented had separate rooms, because the space we were in was pretty small, and there was a door at the end of the room. Now, I would’ve gotten up, but sweet little Casey was keeping me back. I felt Casey’s soft breath on my chest. She had fallen back asleep. I started to close my eyes too, but suddenly, the door bust open.

In the doorway stood Alex. My eyes widened, and so did his. His eyes flicked from the sleeping Casey to me, holding her as she slept. “What the hell is going on here?” he asked quietly so that he wouldn’t wake his sister. I shrugged. “I don’t know, I just woke up and we were like this.” I said. Seeing the furious look on Alex’s face, I thought it was time for some reassuring. “Dude, we didn’t… have sex or anything…” I said. “How do you know that?!” Alex fumed, louder than before. My expression hardened. “Shush, you’ll wake her up!” I said. Alex scowled. “I don’t give a flying fuck!” he yelled. I felt the vibrations of Casey waking up. “Goddammit, Alex…” I sighed. Casey lifted her head. She looked at me. “What’s going on?” she asked groggily. I nodded my head in Alex’s general direction. She turned her head around, and she squeaked a little when she saw the fuming Alex. “What the hell, Casey?” Alex yelled. Casey cowered back a little. “I… I…” she mumbled. “You what? There’s nothing for you to say. You’re just a little whore, that’s what you are!” Alex yelled bitterly. Casey gasped a little. “I… no….” she said quietly.

“Did you ask for it? That day? You asked for it, you slut!” Alex continued raging. Casey’s eyes welled with tears. “No, no!” she cried. She turned back around and buried her face into my chest. I scowled at Alex. “Alex, you better get the fuck out before you say another word, or I swear to God, I will hurt you.” I threatened. I looked down at Casey. She was shaking and sobbing. “What did you even…” I started. Alex’s scowl stopped me. “Don’t ask about it.” He said. I put my hand on Casey’s quivering head and started stroking her hair. “Shh, it’s okay…” I feebly tried to comfort her. I looked back up at Alex. “Just go. You don’t deserve to be her brother. You’re just a big son of a bitch.” I growled. Alex gave me one more angry look before storming out and slamming the door behind him. I looked back down at Casey, who was still sobbing. I could feel the wetness of her tears soaking through my shirt and stinging my skin.

“Casey, what was Alex talking about?” I asked. I knew I probably shouldn’t have, but I needed to know. Casey lifted her head. Her eyes were swollen and red. The mascara that I guess she had been previously wearing was now streaming down her face like black tears. “I, uh… you don’t want to know.” She said, sniffling. I held her shoulders. “Yes, I do.” I said, staring into her eyes. She closed her eyes for a short period then opened them. “Fine.” She said. I let go of her shoulders and she laid back down. She turned over on her back.

“It was about five years ago. Five years ago, I used to date Kellin Quinn. This was before Katelynn, and Katelynn doesn’t know anything about this. Now, I only dated him for a week. There’s a damn good reason for that. He… he…” she started to choke on her sobs. “He what?” I asked tentatively. “I don’t… I…” she started to cry again. I sighed. “I don’t have to know. It’s okay.” I said. She let out a deep breath. “No, it’s okay. He, uhm… he…” she let out another deep breath. “He raped me, Jack.”
I gasped. “He what?!” I asked, utterly astonished. “He came to my house one night and just dragged me off into an alley.” She said. I could hear her trying to hold back tears.

Out of nowhere, I hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry.” I said. She sighed, wiping tears from her face. “I’ve tried to forget. I still have nightmares about it.” She said. Then suddenly, a thought occurred. “Does this have anything to do with why you were acting weird around Vic at practice yesterday?” I asked. She sighed and nodded. “Kellin got him too.” She said. My eyes widened. “I never thought Kellin would do a thing like that!” I said. She nodded. “He did… it… to both of us on the same day. When he was done, he threatened us both at gunpoint. He said, ‘Casey, if you ever tell anyone, I’m going to kill Alex. Vic, if you tell anyone, I’m going to kill Mike.’” She explained. I was just in complete shock. I mean, I know Kellin. He’s a pretty nice guy. I couldn’t picture a guy as nice as Kellin doing something so horrible.

“Since then, I’ve only trusted two people. I trust Alex, because he’s my brother, and Vic, because I know what he’s been through. I’ve had bad trust issues.” She said. I raised my eyebrows. “You warmed up to me pretty quickly for someone with trust issues.” I said dubiously. Casey rolled over and looked at me. Her chocolate brown eyes were full of sadness. “It’s because I feel like I can trust you. I never feel like I can trust anyone… but you were different. I just… felt like I could trust you.” She said. I tried to hold in a small laugh. “No-one has ever said that about me. If you ask anyone, even Alex, he’d say you can’t trust me.” I said. Casey leaned in close to my face. “But I trust you.” She said. She sat up. “I’m gonna go make breakfast.” She said, sliding out of bed. I nodded, still letting all the things she’d told me sink in. She walked out the door, and I sighed. Sometimes someone is happy on the outside, I thought. But on the inside they're crying.