This Is How I Disappear

I sat on the couch behind Gerard, who was sitting in the floor in front of me. I was playing with his hair, while Mikey went to take a phone call. It'd been a month since our first date, and things were going pretty well. I actually wanted to be with him, and Mikey must have seen it in how we acted, but he stopped worrying and stressing so much over the future.

"Hey, babe?" Gerard asked, looking up towards me.

"Hm?"

"Do you wanna go out tonight? There's a party going on a few blocks away, and I wondered if you might want to go, to switch it up," he said thoughtfully. I smiled.

"Sure, if that's what you want to do," I agreed. He nodded.

"I just figured it'd be good to get out the house every once in a while," he said. I nodded in agreement. He smiled and I leaned down and kissed him. Mikey came back in the room.

"Ew, I didn't want to see that... Anyways, that was Frankie. He wanted to come chill," he explained. Gerard looked at me and shrugged.

"Well, we were thinking about going to a party a few blocks over later on," Gerard told him. Mikey just smiled brightly.

"Over at Reed Baker's house?" Gerard nodded. "Then, we can all go. Frankie asked if I wanted to go to that party with him." I smiled in approval and Mikey clapped his hands like a child in a toy store. "Well, I'm going to go and get ready to go and all. He'll be here in about an hour."

"Alright, cool," Gerard replied, moving from the floor to the couch. I rested my head on his shoulder and played with his fingers.

"I haven't been to a party in forever," I commented absentmindedly. I felt him smile. "The last party I remember was in ninth grade and it was awful. There was absolutely no one there I knew, and no one would share their cigarettes." He chuckled quietly.

"Those bastards..."He laughed. "Don't worry. I'll share mine." I smiled and nodded.

"Okay, then I guess it'll be okay." He put his arm around me and held me tightly.

"It will be. I'll be there," he said reassuringly. I leaned in and kissed his neck. "Did you know that it's been one month already?" I nodded, smiling. "It doesn't feel like it's been that long." He embraced me tightly. I put my arms around his waist. "I would rather die today than to live a hundred years without knowing you." I felt my face flush as I realized how deeply he cared for me. He placed his hands on my cheeks, and looked into my eyes. "I realize how forward I must seem, but I've never been more sure of anything." He paused for a minute, as if to let that sink into my mind. My mind was going a million different places at once. He stared into my eyes, and I looked back into his. "I love you, Taylor Elizabeth Jeffrey." I felt my heart race. I didn't know how to respond. I loved being with him, but I was sure if I loved him quite the way he hoped. Just in time, the door bell rang. Gerard got up to go answer it. He returned moments later with a short, dark haired guy.

"Hey, what's up?" The guy asked me. I just shrugged. "I'm Frankie."

"Oh, okay. Hey, Frankie. I'm Taylor," I greeted. He smiled at me. Mikey came downstairs, and greeted Frankie. After a few minutes of casual conversation, they finally decided we were ready to go. We all headed out of the house, and down the sidewalk. "So, how far from here are we going, exactly?" I asked, wondering if I should have changed shoes.

"It's only two blocks away. So, it's not too far," Frankie smled at me. I smiled back, and continued to focus on the road ahead of us to distract my thoughts. Gerard walked on my right, Frankie on my left, and Mikey in front. We turned the first corner. I just kept staring at the road. We walked another block, and before I knew it, we were standing in front of a large, rather crowded house with a million cars parked outside. I sighed and followed the guys up the walkway. We went inside and instantly, my sense of smell was bombarded by weed and cigarette smoke as well as alcohol and cheap perfume. I followed the guys to a somewhat vacant corner of the room. Mikey saw someone he knew and went off to talk to them, Frankie disappeared to find the bathroom, and Gerard went to get us drinks. I stood alone in the corner awkwardly.

In a stranger's house, left by myself. Fucking great...