Diary of Mari Delrous: Blue Apple
SHOCK, FEBRUARY 2013 PART 2
SHOCK.
The blue eyes hiss at me, causing a stagger. Somethings wrong. Im under a spell. His arm reaches out to me as I simply freeze. Somewhat poisoned at mind.
With my soul I grant a wish. Your wish is my command.
The cloaked man smiles at me. I see him a little more now. So familiar...twisted yet pure...
Whats going on...The scene grows darker as the boy stares deeply into my soul. Another shadow appears.
“Mari.”
I blink to see two hooded men fighting eachother as i watched dazed. To suddenly have the first man, the familiar one twitch into static as he faded to dust. The other one looked back at me, he quietly walked over to me, and pulled my hand with the apple close to myself. He took a bite.
Sudden it would seem my vision was clear again. Still partly hazed but better. I looked up at this boy to see him smile and laugh. Brown hair blocking his dark eyes, he laughed lightly. I reached out to him but, to see him reappearing further away from me...
Shock out....
13TH february 2013, 11:41 PM.
Almost valentines day huh...Interesting...
Im trying to wake up from my thoughts at the moment. I need an objective.
I know usually id say Maniarix, but thats only turning out to be a personal objective at the moment. Nobody cares anymore. Besides me that is.
I want to create something...
Something great...But first i want to find the people.
Being honest eversince i moved back, i have no best friend.
Theres no actual friend whos there for me and ill be there for. It feels like im alone. I dont have friends that will come find me to spend time with. I used to feel like i had a gang here but that was three years ago. Times have changed.
I want to explore now. I want to meet new people, see new places. I want to live a life how i want to. I want to learn new things, either art, martial arts, music, dance, litterature, Math, whatever! I want a new start.
Im tired of feeling in a cage. Its about time i live my youth the way i want to.
I want to be alive again.
I want to find who i am...
The girl i lost...
FRIDAY 22ND FEBRUARY 10:22PM.
Tommorow we catch a flight at 5 AM. to houston, teas. Mom has a conference there.
Honestly im not so excited and i reaally dont want to go because of that fear i have but im being dragged. Id rather stay here but lets look positive hm?!?!
SUNDAY 24TH FEBRUARY.
So the airport was hell. I dont know how to explain it but if your flying pass the borders to the US they have so much security that it will actually make you miss your own flight.
Worst they have machines that slow stuff down when a human working being can do the job ten trillion times quicker? what the hell?
So besides that we arrived in houston yesterday and today we were in dallas to see southfork ranch, it was actually kinda boring but yea....
then we got back to houston and bore bore bore i cant keep on with this...I absalutely HATE i say HATE travelling with my parents. They never take me seriously and plain annoy me. Hell they dont even know who i am. Dear god.
Worse somethings really getting on my nerves. We got in this conversation of if i were to have a boyfriend and blablabla. I made a comedy skit for them as usual since i cant speak seriously for some reason.
My mother laughed with her weird laugh my dad though i think he took it all seriously.
Lately all i hear from my parents is talk like, im smart but i choose not to be.
When they say that i feel as if they make a reference to Nolen every time. But i shouldnt care. I think of him everyday yet the risk i would take.
Gah its terrible i can understand their concern but Nolens fine. And im not as dumb as they think, im a very careful person. It irritates me because i know no matter what they would never accept him and i know ill just get caught again. I fear that day but i know it will come. I want to tell them. Tell them everything about him. Hes not a forcefull person, if something bothers me he stops hes a very accepting boy. Also works hard hes a great guy and he has the most beautiful laugh i have ever seen. I want to tell them so much. But i cant or ill just loose him again.
How dumb they are. They probably think the day they took him away from me i cried because i was scared and i did this behind their back. Yeah right. I didnt cry for them.
I cried because i met someone, someone amazing...and then lost him when i didnt want to.
I swear.
The day they find out again and try to stop us.
I will be screaming.
I will speak my mind no matter how much they interrupt me and try to shut me up with force, ill speak my mind and tell them just what I think. And then, then they will see me for what i really am.
I wont let them take him away. The feelings i had from having someone taken away from my life were just too painfull. Even now i can still feel it. My anger...I was so angry...If anyones to take someone out of my life, it should be me, only me.
I still cant forgive them for what theyve done and what they think of me. Or at least thought of me.
Im tired of being the girl i am not. Im tired of talking nonsense i want to be taken seriously as from who i am.
I am unhappy in this world, Ignore it how much you want parents. But one day that fact will crush down on you with my body fallen, and my soul floating away. Only few things bring me actual joy. Most of them im loosing. Art is something i do less, writing with no readers. Nolen is one of the little things i still have in reach.
Dont
Take
Him
Away
from
ME.
The blue eyes hiss at me, causing a stagger. Somethings wrong. Im under a spell. His arm reaches out to me as I simply freeze. Somewhat poisoned at mind.
With my soul I grant a wish. Your wish is my command.
The cloaked man smiles at me. I see him a little more now. So familiar...twisted yet pure...
Whats going on...The scene grows darker as the boy stares deeply into my soul. Another shadow appears.
“Mari.”
I blink to see two hooded men fighting eachother as i watched dazed. To suddenly have the first man, the familiar one twitch into static as he faded to dust. The other one looked back at me, he quietly walked over to me, and pulled my hand with the apple close to myself. He took a bite.
Sudden it would seem my vision was clear again. Still partly hazed but better. I looked up at this boy to see him smile and laugh. Brown hair blocking his dark eyes, he laughed lightly. I reached out to him but, to see him reappearing further away from me...
Shock out....
13TH february 2013, 11:41 PM.
Almost valentines day huh...Interesting...
Im trying to wake up from my thoughts at the moment. I need an objective.
I know usually id say Maniarix, but thats only turning out to be a personal objective at the moment. Nobody cares anymore. Besides me that is.
I want to create something...
Something great...But first i want to find the people.
Being honest eversince i moved back, i have no best friend.
Theres no actual friend whos there for me and ill be there for. It feels like im alone. I dont have friends that will come find me to spend time with. I used to feel like i had a gang here but that was three years ago. Times have changed.
I want to explore now. I want to meet new people, see new places. I want to live a life how i want to. I want to learn new things, either art, martial arts, music, dance, litterature, Math, whatever! I want a new start.
Im tired of feeling in a cage. Its about time i live my youth the way i want to.
I want to be alive again.
I want to find who i am...
The girl i lost...
FRIDAY 22ND FEBRUARY 10:22PM.
Tommorow we catch a flight at 5 AM. to houston, teas. Mom has a conference there.
Honestly im not so excited and i reaally dont want to go because of that fear i have but im being dragged. Id rather stay here but lets look positive hm?!?!
SUNDAY 24TH FEBRUARY.
So the airport was hell. I dont know how to explain it but if your flying pass the borders to the US they have so much security that it will actually make you miss your own flight.
Worst they have machines that slow stuff down when a human working being can do the job ten trillion times quicker? what the hell?
So besides that we arrived in houston yesterday and today we were in dallas to see southfork ranch, it was actually kinda boring but yea....
then we got back to houston and bore bore bore i cant keep on with this...I absalutely HATE i say HATE travelling with my parents. They never take me seriously and plain annoy me. Hell they dont even know who i am. Dear god.
Worse somethings really getting on my nerves. We got in this conversation of if i were to have a boyfriend and blablabla. I made a comedy skit for them as usual since i cant speak seriously for some reason.
My mother laughed with her weird laugh my dad though i think he took it all seriously.
Lately all i hear from my parents is talk like, im smart but i choose not to be.
When they say that i feel as if they make a reference to Nolen every time. But i shouldnt care. I think of him everyday yet the risk i would take.
Gah its terrible i can understand their concern but Nolens fine. And im not as dumb as they think, im a very careful person. It irritates me because i know no matter what they would never accept him and i know ill just get caught again. I fear that day but i know it will come. I want to tell them. Tell them everything about him. Hes not a forcefull person, if something bothers me he stops hes a very accepting boy. Also works hard hes a great guy and he has the most beautiful laugh i have ever seen. I want to tell them so much. But i cant or ill just loose him again.
How dumb they are. They probably think the day they took him away from me i cried because i was scared and i did this behind their back. Yeah right. I didnt cry for them.
I cried because i met someone, someone amazing...and then lost him when i didnt want to.
I swear.
The day they find out again and try to stop us.
I will be screaming.
I will speak my mind no matter how much they interrupt me and try to shut me up with force, ill speak my mind and tell them just what I think. And then, then they will see me for what i really am.
I wont let them take him away. The feelings i had from having someone taken away from my life were just too painfull. Even now i can still feel it. My anger...I was so angry...If anyones to take someone out of my life, it should be me, only me.
I still cant forgive them for what theyve done and what they think of me. Or at least thought of me.
Im tired of being the girl i am not. Im tired of talking nonsense i want to be taken seriously as from who i am.
I am unhappy in this world, Ignore it how much you want parents. But one day that fact will crush down on you with my body fallen, and my soul floating away. Only few things bring me actual joy. Most of them im loosing. Art is something i do less, writing with no readers. Nolen is one of the little things i still have in reach.
Dont
Take
Him
Away
from
ME.