Never Look Back

Cold air swept over Baltimore, striping the trees of their leaves and leaving its inhabitants fleeing to warmer climates. I frowned as I stared out, fall had come and gone in flash.
“Hey,” Alex said coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “What’s got you down?”
Alex still didn’t know what I did with Matt and how I felt about him and he wasn’t going to. I cut things off with Matt, I had to make a decision and I went with my gut, I just hope my gut doesn’t screw me over in the long run.
“I miss the leaves, I miss the weather and I definitely didn’t want this snow for another month or two.” I complained, folding my arms over my chest.
And if you’re wondering how Matt took it, he’s not on speaking terms with me anymore which means I have to find a new way home.
It’ll come back,” he said and we sat there for some time just staring as the snow blew across the ground.
“What are we doing today?” I asked looking up into his chocolate eyes.
“I don’t know we have the house to ourselves. We can do whatever we want,” he said with a mischievous grin.
I shook my head, “Alex that wouldn’t be appropriate.” I couldn’t stifle a smile that found its way on my lips.
“Only joking…where’s Jack at on a Sunday?” Alex asked me quietly.
“He’s out with Patrick looking at some new guitars and clothes and…what not,” I replied and his expression turned to one of concern and confusion.
“Jack can’t be trusted to buy new guitars, he only picks the cool looking ones and not the ones that will work with our music best,” he looked straight through my eyes.
“Well, Patrick has some experience in that section, he used to be in a band in high school but it failed to go anywhere and they broke up.”
“Really? I didn’t know Patty was in a band,” Alex smiled and I nodded. There was a short silence before he pulled my arm down the hall toward my room. He let go once he had both of us in my room with the door shut.
“Let’s go out for coffee, I’ll pay,” Alex approached me slowly as he spoke.
“Okay but I’m paying for whatever I get, not you,” I smiled mischievously.
“Don’t be difficult.” He warned and our lips locked together, his hand found its way onto my cheek, holding me in place.
I pulled away, “it’s the only way I do it.”

I patiently waited as Alex sped to the passenger door to let me out, no matter every complaint I give him on how I am capable of getting out of a car myself never seemed to work, so I eventually gave in. He shut the door behind me when I climbed out and looked at the building, the place seemed small and warm. He led me up the steps and held the door for me, I shot a sarcastic ‘I’m going to hit you once we get to the safety of our table, free from the stares’ look and he chuckled.
The café was small, golden painted and was littered with college students and sophisticated men with glasses and laptops. I ordered a simple chai tea and Alex got some type of Frappuccino with some other shit…I had no idea what everything was. We sat at a table in the corner, away from everyone else.
“Next gig is set,” Alex said before he took a sip of his coffee mix. This got my attention; Matt hasn’t been able to get them a gig for weeks because everyone is either booked or not looking for entertainment. “It’s at a high school in Washington D.C. called ‘Dunbar High School’ they said we could perform at one of their parties.”
“When is it?” I asked.
“The party is next Friday at 8:00, we are setting up and doing sound check at…6:00 I think and we will leave here at 3:00 and get there around 4 so you can take some photos for posters to sell at the party, then we will probably spend the night there and then drive back tomorrow since the dance doesn’t end till eleven. We’ll drive back early Saturday morning.” Alex sucked in all lost breath.
“Wow, Matt’s got everything figured out doesn’t he? How are we getting there?” I quizzed.
“He said that we would take the bands van and pull along both the vans filled with our equipment, it’s not that far of a drive.”
“Impressive.”
“That’s Matt; he’s always prepared for everything.”
“Alex?” I looked over to see a very pretty tanned blonde approached us with her brightly whitened smile. “How’ve you been?”
“Taylor Lincoln?” He said out of astonishment, his grin was delayed and seemed forced, out of nowhere…like his whole mood shifted and he was immediately on guard. He stood up to hug her tightly; I shifted awkwardly in my seat while they had their catch-up. “I’ve been great, All Time Low’s got a new gig at a high school next weekend and a recording label is looking into us, what about you? I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“I’m doing pretty well, my dad a transfer back over here so we are moving into a new house and everything so you’ll be seeing a lot more of me!” She said excitedly, clutching his palm. I took this time to study her, she had long multicolored blonde hair, green eyes, and a skinny nose. She wore dark jeans with boots over them and a slouchy sweater with a purple scarf over it.
“Oh really? Awesome, we will have a lot of time to catch up then.” Her eyes shifted to mine, I didn’t look up at her but I could feel her gaze on me like a hawk.
There was a slight pause before she spoke again, “so are you going to introduce me?”
“Oh! Yeah! Taylor this is Alyssa Barakat, Jack’s little sister who moved here not that long ago from Pennsylvania. Alyce, this is Taylor Lincoln, an old friend of mine since junior high when she moved away because of her father’s work.” I finally brought my eyes to hers again, flashed my fake smile that matched hers and shook her hand. She squeezed my hand a little too hard and I clenched my teeth to keep from calling her out on it…for Alex’s sake.
“Now Alex,” she purred as she let go of my hand finally. “I do recall us being best friends to this day and ex-lovers.” She grinned at me sardonically as my eyes snapped over to Alex for an explanation. He looked at me uneasily and sighed.
“Yeah, we dated for about…two years in Junior High.” It seemed as though he didn’t want her to know that I was his girlfriend. Did he not want her to know because he was embarrassed? Or maybe because he still thinks he’s got a chance with her…
The thoughts darken my mood and pissed me off because I was most likely right. He wants to keep our relationship a secret in case someone better was to come along and take him. Was I just some charity case? Or maybe just some fuck buddy? I shook my head, Alex and I would never work if I was constantly accusing him of cheating when he hasn’t even done anything yet.
“Well, I hope I’m not intruding but would you mind if I joined you guys?” She asked as innocently as she could.
“I don’t mind,” Alex said quickly and she sat right next to him.
They talked about junior high, their time dating and how things have changed. Tired of being ignored, I grabbed my bag and slipped out, neither of them noticing.
I didn’t know where I was going but I didn’t care, I had to leave, I had to get my mind off.
So that’s what I did, I walked for blocks, taking occasional turns…not knowing where the hell I was going but not caring at the same time. As I rounded another corner I noticed a bar across the street. I was eighteen, I could get in and no one would be the wiser. I smiled brightly to myself as I quickly crossed the street and entered the dark, smokey bar.
Alex’s POV
“Alright, so what’s the real reason you’re here?” I asked her. There was no way she could just magically turn up because her father somehow got a new job back here.
“I’m eighteen now, I left home and moved into an apartment here,” she shrugged and smirked at me.
“Why?”
“For you,” She said. “You’ve never had a relationship like mine, I destroyed you when I had to leave and we broke up. You could never date a single girl after that could you?”
“Is there a point you’re trying to get at?” I growled through clenched teeth.
“I came back for you; I know you still want me. That kind of love never dies, when I got the chance I left that sham of a house and found you,” the same grin stayed plastered on her face. “Remember us? The raves and parties that went all the night, the places we went, the bond we shared…the great sex?” She bit her lip seductively and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
“I remember how easily you broke off our relationship, like you never cared in the first place. So, thanks for just now taking the time to act like you care but you’re months too late.”
She narrowed her eyes at me and breathed in heavily, “speaking of love and relationships what’s with the girl?”
“Alyssa?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why are you guys out having ‘coffee’ when first off you hate coffee and second off you never let yourself be seen outside of school events with girls… and when did Jack get a sister?”
“Alyssa’s my girlfriend now. I took her to coffee because she likes this kind of stuff and I’m growing to like it too,”I said looking down at my mixed coffee drink. “I’m not a fan of the coffee part but I’m starting to like it more, gives us something to do together. Oh and no, I know what you’re thinking and we haven’t had sex yet and I’m okay with that. After knowing her for about 3 months I don’t feel the need to have sex with her and I don’t want to yet. She’s different; she’s everything I needed when you left…she just took her time getting to me.”
“Bullshit and you know it, you could never trust any girl after I left and she is sure as hell no different. Alex Gaskarth no longer makes commitments, you aren’t able to so have fun breaking her heart or getting yours shattered again.” She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms, “just know that I’m gonna be here full time now…I’ve enrolled in your school and you’re gonna be seeing this face every day. So, here’s my question…what’s gonna happen when you’re tempted? You were never able to turn down a hot girl offering sex.”
“How did you know I was here?” I asked, angrily changing the subject.
She shrugged, “coincidence. I was driving down the street when I noticed your car; I could pick it out anywhere.”
There was a silence before she continued, “why the act? Why did you sound so happy to see me when you’re acting like the Lord of the Dicks now?”
“I needed to talk to you alone, the only way I would be able to do that was to get Alyssa out of here and I knew she wouldn’t leave unless I hurt her feelings.”
She snorted, “Some great boyfriend you are…” Her smile faded, “how’d you know it’d work?”
“I know Alyssa; she doesn’t want to be places where she knows she’s not welcome. Something you should learn from her, now, if you’ll excuse me I need to go find my girlfriend and explain myself to her.” With that I got up and marched out of that coffee shop without regretting a thing…well, minus the part where I had to hurt Aly’s feelings. But, I knew there was no other way I could get her out of there so I could set things straight with Taylor.
As I walked down a couple of streets, looking around for Alyssa, texting her and calling her my phone finally vibrated.
“Alyce? Where are you?” I asked into the phone.
“Alex? ALEX! I’m having… a GREAT fucking time at Mollohan’s…I met…a guy. His name…what’s your name? Oh yeah! His name is Harry, ha-ha…Harry. He bought me like seven shots…and like a beer…and like yeah. He’s only 19, he’s got a fake ID…can we get one of those?” She slurred into the phone.
“Jesus, it’s only 12:30 and you’re already drunk. I’m coming to get you okay?”
“Alex, why do you like Taylor so much? Why don’t you want to tell people that I’m your girlfriend? Am I some pathetic girl you feel bad for? She’s so pretty…I can’t compete with that…” I heard her sniffle on the other end.
“Sorry about that, I didn’t mean any of it. I want you and I told her you were my girlfriend once you left. I told her to back off and that I liked you and wanted to be with you because you’re perfect for me.”
“Thank-you,” she whispered and the line went dead as I approached the bar. As I entered I saw her sitting at the bar next to a kid with curly hair. Her back was to me and he sat facing the door, he had a huge grin on his face as he took another swig of beer.
“Alyce, I’m taking you home okay?” I said gently in her ear when I came up to her.
“Oh, Alex! This is Harry Styles, Harry this is Alex my BOYFRIEND!” She giggled and continued. “Harry claims he’s in some band called One Direction. I said he’s making it all up cause he’s PISS DRUNK!”
“Oh I am not! I am not drunk!” He flashed a white smile and laughed at himself.
“That’s just rubbish!” Alyssa imitated in her own British accent.
I picked her up bridal style and carried her out and down six blocks without trouble surprisingly since no one stopped us and she didn’t talk the whole way there. I sucked in a breath of air when I dropped her, tired from carrying her so far. I eased her into the car and buckled her seat belt for her then jogged over to the driver’s side and drove us home.