Never Look Back

Alex’s POV
I was late again, I never meant to but I would always lose track of time then find myself speeding down the road. I power walked as fast as I could down the hall to the studio door, I swung the door open to find seven heads turn to look at me.
“You’re late again Gaskarth,” Sam said dryly.
“Yeah I know, I tried getting here though, I sped.”
“Leave the excuses and get in, you’re up,” he replied. He knew I hated going first. I quick glanced around the room to assess everyone. I glanced around at Sam, Matt Squire, Zack, Matt Flyzik, Rian, Jack and…Alyssa. What was she doing here? Was she doing this to throw me off and make me sound bad?
I chose to ignore her as I slipped through the glass door on the right of Sam and walked across the wood platform that the band performed in and entered another small glass room that was sound proof. The walls were lined with puffy cobalt blue cushions and the lone bench in the tight quarters was wood with a matching cobalt blue seat cushion, across from the bench was the black microphone, a set of headphones and a stand that held the lyrics.
I was proud of the song I had created, it spoke exactly what I wanted it to. It only took me a half hour to conjure it up and I hoped it took little time to record it to, it made it even sweeter that Alyssa was here to listen to it firsthand.
“Alright Alex, you ready?” Matt asked into the mike, I put on the phones then nodded and gave him a thumbs up. “Just like yesterday, use a louder and then rougher towards the chorus. We’ll go through the whole entire thing once and then pick out sections, on my count.”
He counted off and started the band music, then I cut in, more confident than ever, knowing that these lyrics spoke sense to me.

Lipstick has a way of leaving
More than just a mark on my sheets
Coloring my senses cherry red
At least for this week

Kisses under starry night skies
Talked about in song we play along
So bitter sweet by our design
And I'm sick and tired of writing songs about you
This is it, this is the end

Take off your makeup and put down the camera
Choke on the drama that makes me want
To tear up the pictures, the pages you've saved
Creating a life of trends and make believe

I've got no place in my heart
For a criminal like you to dwell
In this endeavor make this last forever
I'm just delirious, you can't be serious
You're so infamous for leaving me a mess

I knew this would kill her but there was no stopping me now, I had to make her hate me, forget about me. It would be the only way to make this easier for both of us. I shut my eyes lightly as I felt the rest of the lyrics flow out perfect, just like I had hoped.

She gets what she wants and she breaks what she gets
Get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces
She gets what she wants, she breaks what she gets
Get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces...

Carry on home, I'll be waiting miles and miles away
Leaving you to be forever seventeen
Cleaning up the messes that you've made

When I finished, all I heard was silence on the other end before Matt finally spoke up. He seemed impressed with my work and told me I could take a break before I had to clean parts up. The last thing I wanted to do right now was face Alyssa but I knew I’d have to sooner or later.
As I made my way out of the door I forced my eyes to meet Alyssa’s hurt and shocked ones. I clenched my jaw and quickly averted my eyes away from hers, I felt I had stabbed her in the chest and she stabbed me right back with that look. If that song didn’t work, I had no idea what would.

Alyssa’s POV

I should’ve known he would do this to me. I should’ve known he would’ve made a song about me and now I realized he’ll make more about me for this album, so great.
I couldn’t even stomach the fact that I used to be with someone like that, so cruel and mean, when I was the victim. That was so like Alex, from being a sweetheart one moment to a complete senseless asshole the next. I swallowed the lump in my throat to keep from crying right then and there, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“Been too long Alyssa,” Sam swiveled his chair around and smiled at me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah I thought so too, I had to come back to see everything again.” I returned the smile and his eyes lit up.
“I’m happy you did, we missed ya.”
“Correction, YOU missed her,” Matt Squire joked from behind the tuning board. I felt Sam’s face go deep red and I ran in to recuse him.
“Matt! You didn’t miss me?” I whined and he laughed.
“Uhh…yeah…totally...”
“Matt!” I laughed.
“If it gets you through the day then yes Alyssa, I missed you so much.” I rolled my eyes playfully and turned my attention back to Sam.
“You should go in there and sing for us,” He said and I shook my head.
“Yeah no…you don’t want to hear this voice.”
“That’s not what Jack says about you in the shower!” Rian called from the opposite end of the couch.
I felt myself blush, “wow thanks Jack.”
“Love you Lyssa.”
“Ow ow, you go Alyssa,” Sam purred, making me blush more.
I felt Alex’s death stare burn a hole as I made conversation with Sam and frankly I was loving every second of his well-deserved karma.
“Jack, I think it’s your turn,” Matt said as he fiddled with the cryptic knobs on the board. Jack got up to go take the reins. With Alex in the room, it made things ten times more awkward but not for Sam since he didn’t know Alex and I were ever together.
“Sing for me,” he begged but I shook my head.
“No, I don’t sing good.” I heard Alex snort from down the couch but I chose to ignore it. “Can you show me to the bathroom?”
“Yeah,” he replied. All I wanted was to run away from that room and run away from Alex’s accusing stare. I followed Sam out the door, feeling Alex’s eyes burn into my back, making me hurry to get out of there. He led me down the rest of the hall then took a right, the bathroom was only a couple steps down the hall.
“Wait here,” I told him and he nodded, talking about the bathroom made me have to go. I quickly went in, did my business, washed my hands and met Sam outside in record time. I was definitely getting sick of peeing since I had to pee so often and barely anything came out.
“That was fast,” he smiled and I returned it.
“I know, pretty impressive right?”
“It was,” he said and began walking back toward the studio.
“Sam?” I asked softly and he stopped and turned to me. “Can we just stay here and talk for a little bit? I don’t want to go back in there yet.” He nodded and I lean up against the wall right next to the bathroom door, he stood across from me.
“It’s really nice that you’re doing this you know,” I said and he raised an eyebrow.
“Staying here with you?”
“No!” I giggled and smacked him lightly on the arm, he chuckled. “I mean letting them record here and helping them to make this album.”
“Oh yeah, I heard their first songs and thought they sounded awesome, most of the local fans loved them too so I knew they had something about them that attracted people,” he said shrugging.
“It really means a lot to them and they’ve been talking about it nonstop.”
“Good, that’s why I love doing my job. I love to help small bands and artists pursue their dreams, makes me feel like I did something actually productive with my life.”
“I have no idea what I’m doing after high school, I don’t want to continue photography and I have no profession that interests me,” I complained.
“How about a…clown? Or maybe a magician? Or how about a ventriloquist!? You’d make an amazing ventriloquist,” He joked, taking my hopeless attitude to a laughing one.
“Shut up Sam!” I laughed and playfully shoved him. “You’d make a great Porto potty cleaner!”
He laughed, “Porto potty cleaner!? Really?!” I busted out laughing. “I would look pretty sexy in that uniform though.”
I laughed even harder and clutched my stomach, comforting my aching abs as they constantly contracted from my continuous laughing.
“You’re funny,” I told him when I finally managed to calm down and catch my breath. I looked up into his bright blue eyes and I remembered how attractive he was. He put his hand on my cheek and leaned in close to me, I knew where this was heading but for some reason I didn’t want to stop it.
I found myself closing the distance and placing my lips on his, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt in my hand. His lips were smooth and moved along with mine as he placed the other hand on my other cheek.
He pulled back and whispered in my ear, “I’ve been wanting to do that since the first moment I saw you walk through that studio door.”
“The first time I saw you I just noticed how insanely hot you were,” I breathed back and he rejoined our lips. His hands moved to wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him and my hands moved to his head, grabbing fistfuls of his black messy hair. Our lips moved in sync until I pulled back for breath and rested my forehead on his.
“We should be getting back shouldn’t we?” He whispered and I nodded. He gave me one more lingering peck on the lips before grabbing my arm and pulling me back down the hallway to the studio.
“Took you awhile to pee Alyssa,” Matt commented as we entered. I felt myself blush and I glanced at Alex who didn’t look pleased at all, he obviously knew I wasn’t just going to the bathroom by simply looking at my face. We both returned to our original seats and I noticed that it was Zack who was in the room now.

I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket and I pulled it out to read the message.

Karebear: How’s recording going? Someone pissed yet?
Me: Good and besides Alex, no one.
Karebear: Oh God, what happened with Alex?
Me: I kinda lost where I was and made out with Sam…he definitely
Knows.
Karebear: Fuck Alyssa! He’s hot! But you shouldn’t be kissing other boys yet!
Me: I know but…OH my God Kare I couldn’t help myself
Karebear: How long have you guys been broken up?
Me: Around a week
Karebear: Damn. Well, have fun
Me: Pray for me.

Sam grabbed the phone from my hands and started typing on it, I waited patiently until he handed it back to me, on the screen he left.

Sam
(319) 555-0121

I grinned and changed the name to ‘MySexySam’ and showed him, he laughed and I extended my hand. He dug his phone out of his back pocket and slapped it on my waiting hand. I typed in my number and gave myself the name ‘Sexualyssa’ to somewhat match his and showed him . He smiled and shook his head, taking his phone back from me.
~~
I was happy to finally be home after hours of being in the studio and around Sam. Woo! That boy was hot! He made me nervous too, which was why I was happy to be away from him despite the fact that I wanted to see him again as soon as I get the chance. I don’t know why I’m already hooking up with a guy when Alex and I just ended, to be honest, it was probably because I needed someone there for me when I had this baby.
I sighed and stretched out my legs, I was getting sick of not having Alex around anymore. It was like he still wanted me but the baby was the only thing that stopped him from coming up to me and kissing me. Why couldn’t he just get the balls to take care of this fucking baby? None of it made any sense to me.
This sense began to melt away with consciousness as I felt myself go under, I didn’t want to see a new day without Alex but I had bad luck written in my genes.