The New Face of Failure

But if you think this is just some high school club where you can sing and dance your way through any social issue... Or confuse sexuality, you have come to the wrong place. There is none of that here. That's high school. This shit is real life. NOW. don't just bring it, sing it, and let's do this. – Pitch Perfect

Patrick was buzzing with anticipation. His entire drive back to Pete and Andy’s house was spent belting out every song that came on the radio no matter what it was. He thought he had blown it with Harper before at the RA meeting, but fate dealt him another hand and he was ready to play this time. When he had seen her sitting there in his Spanish class, her hand constantly pushing her long bangs out of her face, he felt his whole body start burning up. For whatever reason, talking to her when it was just the two of them, no roommates or friends around, was a lot easier. He was worried when her friend showed up that maybe she would ditch him, but she seemed just as enthusiastic as he felt when that girl was around. However, what topped off his day was that she wanted to go see him play on Friday. It made him want to practice even harder to make sure that they sounded amazing so he could impress Harper. He was worried though that his friends would be pissed off at him for being so late. He had seen that he had a few missed calls from Joe and a few expletive filled text messages. He was supposed to drive them both over to Pete’s. He wondered if Joe had just taken the train.

When he got to their place, he could hear Joe cursing at the TV, most likely playing the new Grand Theft Auto that had just come out and a wave of relief washed over him. He opened the front door and Joe was laying on his belly on the floor of the living room area, an Xbox controller in his hands, meticulously cycling through his weapons cache. Pete and Andy were both on their laptops, doing God knows what, but frankly, Patrick didn’t want to know. He quickly shut the door, louder than he thought and they all looked up at him.

“Jesus Patrick where the hell have you been!?” Pete exclaimed, shutting his laptop and jumping up to greet him.

“Yeah, I tried calling and texting you, but you were obviously ignoring me or lost your phone. I had to take the train out here and Andy picked me up in his smelly car,” Joe retorted.

“Sorry, I was having lunch,” he said, reddening slightly.

Joe paused the game. “Wait, lunch? We ordered some pizza dude.” He pointed to the kitchen and Patrick saw a box of Little Caesars laying on top of the table. “You were ignoring me to eat lunch on campus?”

“Oh, well…”

“It was that girl wasn’t it?” Andy suddenly piped up, looking briefly up from his computer.

Patrick looked at Joe and then Pete, both of whom looked beyond stoked by this. “Yeah, it was…”

Pete howled and pulled him in for a hug. “Patrick, dude that is totally awesome!” he exclaimed. “What happened? How did you ask her?”

“Er, she was in my Spanish class and we were talking about other stuff and I asked her what she was doing after class and she said lunch so I asked if I could join her.”

“That’s fucking incredible,” Joe beamed. “I thought you were done for after the RA meeting. I mean, I tried to get you some alone time with her, man, but you blew that one.”

Patrick rolled his eyes. “Thanks Joe.”

“So why didn’t you invite her over here to hang out with us? I need to meet the girl that stole Patrick Stump’s heart away.” Pete winked at him.

“I don’t think she’s ready for this crazy fest,” Patrick replied. “But she is going to come to the show on Friday.”

“Really? That’s great. Woo her with those golden pipes of yours,” Pete said, clapping him on the back.

“Yeah, right,” Patrick remarked. “I’m just hoping that she doesn’t get one glimpse of you and ditches me.”

Pete grinned. “Patrick, I know I’m irresistible, but you saw her first and that’s all you. I’ll just make sure she knows how awesome you are.”

“Yeah, we can all help do that,” Joe agreed.

“Um, you know what, that’s okay, I think I can handle that part,” Patrick said, somewhat worried about what the guys would say about him to Harper. He was afraid they’d scare her off more so than make her want to actually date him.

Joe and Pete just looked at each other and shrugged. “Suit yourself,” Joe replied.

“So can we start practicing now?” Patrick asked them, wishing to push the conversation in any other direction than his love life.

They practiced their six song set for the show Friday until Patrick’s fingers were sore from strumming so hard and his vocal chords were screaming from the strain of all the high notes. As soon as Pete called practice, Patrick grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it down, his throat thanking him for the cold liquid to soothe it.

“So, are you going to have lunch with her again on Thursday?” Joe asked Patrick, walking over to him and handing him a beer. Patrick took it and they clinked their bottles together before taking a sip.

“I was planning on it.”

“Well, then I guess I better plan on it too,” Joe said with a sigh.

“Huh?” Patrick looked at him worriedly.

“Don’t worry, you won’t even know I’m there. But I’m not taking that train again. Too many smelly people. Between that and Andy’s car, I think the neurons in my nose are desensitized to all smells now.”

Patrick sighed. “Okay, that’s fine.”

“Will her bitchy friend be there?”

“I don’t think they are actually anything more than roommates, but no, probably not. She wasn’t around today.”

“Thank God. She was hot, but obviously had a stick up her ass.”

“So we can expect another late start to practice Thursday?” Pete said, walking over to them, obviously eavesdropping on their conversation.

Patrick looked up at him with hopeful eyes. “If that’s okay, Pete. I mean, I’ll try to make it quick.”

Pete grinned. “No worries. Gotta find the right girl now because once we become famous, it’ll be hard to tell who really likes you for you and who likes you because you can buy them a Rolls Royce.”

“I don’t think I plan on buying anyone a Rolls Royce, even when I’m famous,” Andy remarked. “and I include myself in that anyone too.”

“I’m gonna buy myself season passes for life to the Eagles,” Joe said happily.

“Will we even have time to go to a game if we’re famous though?” Patrick pointed out.

“Dammit, good point,” Joe muttered.

“I think I’m going to buy a monkey,” Pete said, grinning widely.

“Okay, Michael Jackson,” Joe laughed and Patrick couldn’t help but laugh too. The thought of Pete with a monkey on his shoulder was amusing.

“So, you guys heading back to campus?” Pete asked them, as they all packed up their gear.

“Yeah, I have some homework to do,” Patrick said sullenly and Joe nodded in agreement.

“Well, can’t say that doesn’t suck,” Andy commented.

Patrick envied Andy and Pete in that moment. They both took charge of their lives and chose what they wanted to do, which was play music. They had a lot more experience than Joe and Patrick did when it came to playing in bands because they had played in a lot of bands before the four of them started working together. Sure the guys had part time jobs outside of the band, but they didn’t have to sit at school all day, limiting their time and creativity in order to appease their parents. Patrick couldn’t wait until the band started making some money off of their shows and their album that they were working on so that maybe he didn’t have to continue going to college and show his mom that he could be successful pursuing his dream his way.

When they got back to the dorm, he wanted so badly to go and knock on Harper’s door, but he really did have homework to do and so resigned himself to his bedroom. After they both changed into what they were going to sleep in – Patrick would call them his pajamas, but it made him feel like a little kid- Joe turned on some Black Flag songs and the guys started focusing on their homework.

As they both tried to lose themselves in their textbooks, Joe working on some math problems while Patrick was reading a chapter on the makeup of an atom, there was a loud knock on the door. They both looked up at each other.

“Are you going to get that?” Joe asked him pointedly.

“Me? Why don’t you get it?” Patrick replied, giving Joe a baffled look.

“Because you’re a generally friendlier person than I am,” Joe answered plainly.

Patrick sighed and got up, the knocking continuing to get louder. He swung the door open and Avery, one of their suitemates, was standing there, his fist in mid-knock. “Hey Avery, what’s up?” Patrick put on an easy smile.

Avery looked at him with an annoyed face. “Hey, Paul,”

“Um, it’s Patrick…”

“Yeah, okay, look, no offense, but we can hear your music all the way in our room,” Avery crossed his arms across his chest in a defensive manner. “And no offense, but it kind of sucks.”

Patrick looked at him wide-eyed. He wasn’t really offended that they didn’t like their music, but he was kind of offended that he didn’t remember his name. “Wow, um, sorry man. We didn’t realize.”

“Yeah, well, if you could just turn it down, that’d be great.”

Patrick just nodded, and Avery turned and walked back into his and Chad’s room, slamming the door shut behind him. Patrick closed their door and walked over to Joe’s computer, turning down the music.
“Dude, what are you doing!” Joe exclaimed, looking up from his notebook.

“That was Abercrombie, he’s pissed that our music is loud,” Patrick replied. “He also said it sucked.”

Joe sat up. “Okay, I’m gonna have to school him on what good music is. That Nickelback stuff that they listen to is shit.”

Patrick couldn’t argue with him on that one. “Well, don’t be offended by it. I mean, Avery wants us to not be offended by it, at least he kept saying so.”

“He can’t tell me how to feel, and I feel super offended right now.”

Patrick cracked a smile and Joe groaned. “This college stuff sucks. Look at Pete and Andy. They could keep practicing if they want to, be up until 3 am and we’re stuck here studying math and what are you studying?”

“Something about atoms,” Patrick replied. “It’s for my Biology class.”

“Ugh, exactly. We should be playing music right now with them. I mean how long will it be before those two decide to ditch us?”

“I don’t think they will,” Patrick replied, although the thought had crossed his mind before. “Don’t worry, if we ‘make it’, then we can leave all of this behind.”

Joe snorted. “Fingers crossed on that one.” He then went back to his math homework. Patrick sat back down on his bed and looked at where he stopped reading, but the words started to blur together. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. Even though he wasn’t tired, truth be told he was actually a night owl and could stay up really late, reading that boring text was making him tired. He glanced at his phone and decided to pick it up and do something daring.

HEY HARPER WHAT’S UP? He texted. He paused, took a deep breath and hit send. Maybe it was stupid of him to text her so soon after they had just had lunch together, but his urge to talk to her was greater than his urge to finish reading the first chapter of his biology textbook. About a minute passed and his phone buzzed.

HEY PATRICK NOT MUCH JUST WRITING. U?

Patrick wondered if he was bothering her, but she seemed to want to know what he was doing, so he replied, READING ABOUT STUPID ATOMS. U KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ATOMS DON’T U?

NO, WHAT DO THEY SAY ABOUT ATOMS?

U CAN’T TRUST THEM BECAUSE THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING ;)

LOL WOW THAT’S CLEVER OF U

I TRY. SO WHAT ARE U WRITING?

MY STORY. I HAVE TO KEEP MY ONLY FAN APPEASED

WHO’S THAT?

MY SISTER.

WHAT’S IT ABOUT?

SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL ;)

SEEMS LIKE MY KIND OF STORY.

U MEAN THE DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL PART?

OH NOW LOOK WHOS BEING CLEVER.

:)) NO REALLY, ITS KIND OF LAME.

I LIKE LAME, LOOK AT ME.

THIS IS TRUE. OKAY IT TAKES PLACE IN THE FUTURE AND ITS ABOUT A GIRL FIGHTING AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT THAT IS TRYING TO MECHANIZE PEOPLE TO PERFECT THEM. I THINK THERE MIGHT BE SOME SUBTLE THEMES ABOUT CONFORMITY IN THERE AND A LOVE STORY ON THE SIDE.
SOUNDS FREAKING AWESOME. CAN I READ IT?

There seemed to be hesitation coming from her end. He wondered if she would trust him enough to let him read her story. It seemed that she didn’t let anyone near her personal writing, except her sister.
PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH AT ME?

AS LONG AS U DON’T LAUGH AT MY BAND ON FRIDAY.

OOH THAT’S A HARD DEAL TO MAKE… ;) OKAY. SURE U CAN READ IT. I’LL EMAIL IT TO U?

COOL. STUMPMUSIC84@GMAIL.COM

Suddenly, a red number one popped up on his mail icon. He opened it up and saw an email from JossGirl4Ever@Gmail.com. He opened it up and saw an attachment.

GOT IT. WOW THAT WAS QUICK. QUESTION THO

WHAT?

WHO IS JOSS?

REALLY? THE GOD OF ALL NERDS, JOSS WHEDON. MY HEART AND MIND BELONG TO HIM BECAUSE HE’S CREATED SOME OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS AND CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME

THAT’S A RELIEF. MY BUDDY ANDY LOVES HIM TOO.

WAIT WHY IS IT A RELIEF?

Patrick groaned. He couldn’t believe he had typed that. What was he going to say that wasn’t creepy or would sound like a cheap come on now?

OH UM NO REASON. NOT SURE Y I TYPED THAT.

OH OKAY.

Patrick silently cursed himself. THANKS FOR THE STORY. I LOOK FORWARD TO READING IT.

NO PROB. REMEMBER, NO JUDGING! U SHOULD FEEL SPECIAL, THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO’S READ THAT IS MY SISTER.

Patrick did feel special. He also felt dizzy and excited and nervous all at the same time. I DO. IF U WANT I CAN SEND U SOME OF THE DEMOS THAT WE HAVE WORKED ON. THEY R ROUGH BUT PRETTY GOOD.

UH, YEAH THAT’D BE REALLY COOL :))

Patrick went through his mp3 files and pulled some of the rough cuts of material and they were working on for the upcoming album and emailed them to her. Then he opened up the document that she sent him. It was 50 pages long. HOLY SMOKES. 50 PAGES????? THIS IS GONNA TAKE ME AWHILE.

LOL DON’T WORRY IT’S A LOT OF DIALOGUE.

HOW CAN U JUST WRITE 50 PAGES?

HOW CAN U JUST WRITE MUSIC?

They continued texting the rest of the night until Joe turned off the music. “Dude, it’s like midnight. We have class in the AM.”

Patrick looked up from his phone. “Um, yeah, sorry, I didn’t realize the time.”

Joe narrowed his eyes. “Are you texting her?”

Patrick blushed. “Yeah…”

Joe grinned. “Cool. But if you guys start sexting, go into the bathroom. I don’t want to hear you moaning in the middle of the night.” He walked out of the room to the bathroom, leaving Patrick sitting on his bed completely embarrassed and red in the face.

HAVE 2 GO. JOE WANTS TO SLEEP.

OKAY WELL HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

U 2. TALK LATER?

DEFINITELY CAN’T WAIT. :))

Patrick plugged his phone into his charger and slipped under his covers. Joe came back in from the bathroom. “What are you doing under there?!” Joe exclaimed, stopping half way to his bed.

Patrick rolled his eyes and rolled over away from his friend. “Nothing, Joe, God.”

“Good, we may need to establish a sock on the door sign or something if you plan on jerking off in here.”

“Ew, what? Joe, come on man.”

“Just saying!” Joe held up his hands innocently. “Your guy is probably blue from all that flirting and no action you’re getting, I would understand if you want to beat your meat for a bit, just wait until I’m not here.”

“Jesus Joe, stop it, you’re grossing me out. I’m not going to ‘beat my meat’ right now. I’m going to go to bed,” Patrick cried out.

Joe mumbled something under his breath that Patrick couldn’t hear, but he did shut the light out and crawl into his own bed. Patrick sighed and turned onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. He wasn’t going to admit to Joe that deep down his body was aching and that Harper was the reason why.

He tried sleeping, but found himself awake an hour later, the wheels in his head still churning. He glanced over at Joe, who was now snoring lightly. Satisfied that he was asleep, Patrick sat up and grabbed his laptop from his desk at the foot of his bed. He opened it up, went to his email account and pulled open Harper’s story and started reading. He completed the 50 pages the time his laptop clock said 3:30 on it. He was impressed by how detailed she was in her writing and how fast paced she kept her plot. He couldn’t believe that she had written it. He wanted more, he wanted to see what happened to her main character, Ada Gray. A part of him thought he should text her right away and tell her how much he loved it, but he realized that she may not be up at that hour. So he shut his laptop, his body finally starting to get tired. Sure enough, as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was asleep.

He had to take a longer shower than usual the next morning because his mind kept thinking up different scenarios in which he found himself alone with Harper and it left him feeling a bit hot and bothered when he woke up.

He spent all day Wednesday thinking about her. Whenever he had to come back to or leave the dorm, he would glance at all of the other students who walked around to see if he could spot her. He was hoping that their schedules would clash at some point other than the one Spanish class that they had together however so far it seemed that they weren’t coinciding at all. That didn’t stop him from texting her though.

MORNING! It took him about 50 tries before he figured that that would be the least threatening text to send her.

She didn’t respond until he had arrived at his 10 AM class. GOOD MORNING! SRY I WAS IN CLASS JUST GOT OUT.

So she has an early class, good to know, he thought and then scolded himself for thinking like a stalker.

GOOD CLASS?

IF ONE ENJOYS STUDYING ABOUT TURN OF THE CENTURY EASTERN EUROPEAN POLITICS THEN YES IT WAS

SOUNDS BRUTAL JUST GOT 2 BIOLOGY.

SAY HI 2 THE FETAL PIGS FOR ME. ;)

:)) WILL DO. READ WHAT YOU GAVE ME OF YOUR STORY LAST NIGHT. YOU’RE REALLY TALENTED YOU KNOW THAT?

U THINK SO?

YEAH, I’D BUY THAT AS A BOOK.

YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT…

NO WAY, I COULDN’T PUT DOWN. I COULDN’T SLEEP SO I READ IT ALL LAST NIGHT UNTIL 4.

OMG SERIOUSLY? HOW ARE U AWAKE RIGHT NOW?

CAFFINATED TEA ;)

THAT’S SO HIPSTER OF U. BUT THANKS, I APPRECIATE IT.

CAN I KEEP READING IT AS YOU WRITE MORE?

SURE. THANKS PATRICK FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT.

NO PROB. OOPS BEN STEIN’S TWIN JUST ARRIVED G2G

LOL BUELLER… BUELLER… CYA LATER

He appreciated that she knew exactly which 80’s movie he was referring to when he commented about his biology teacher, who did look a lot like Ben Stein. That conversation helped him get through the next few classes that he had and then Pete called him during his brief break.

“Patrick, are you busy?”

Patrick found a quiet spot along Liacouras Walk, the wide brick main walkway on campus that was lined with small shops and restaurants on one side and a grassy sitting area on the other. “Well, I’m on a quick break right now. I have class in an hour, why?”

“Okay, we need to go over these lyrics for that song “Saturday.” I’m not sure I’m digging the bridge or whatever.”

“Okay, let me get back to the room and we’ll go over it.” He started hoofing it as fast as he could back to the Whitehall dorm, which was on the other side of the street.

“So, Joe told me you were texting back and forth with that Harper girl last night,” Pete teased through the phone.

“Man, Joe and his mouth,” Patrick muttered. “Yeah, I was. Why?”

“Well, just want to know when the wedding is,” Pete replied with a small laugh.

“Oh come on, I’ve talked to her like maybe three times in the past week. I don’t even know if she’s into me like that.”

“Has she done anything that would make it seem like she is?”

“She jokes around with me a lot,” Patrick offered.

“So she thinks of you as a friend then,” Pete replied.

“Ugh, no, I mean, well, she also let me read her story, which apparently no one else has read.”

“She writes stories?”

“Yeah, she wants to be a writer,” Patrick explained.

“Jesus, Patrick, this girl is perfect for you. Okay, so now it’s time to stop being friendly and start putting the notion of you and her having sex together in her head.”

Patrick could feel himself getting embarrassed again. “Can we just start with the idea of her going on a date with me first?”

“Patrick, come on man, what is Friday for?”

“That’s not a date. She’s going to be watching me play and maybe we’ll do something after.”

“Count on it. I’m planning a party at the house. You’re bringing her and I’ll make sure my room is yours.”

“Oh God, Pete, no, that’s okay…” Patrick showed his student ID to the security guard at the entrance of his dorm and then proceeded up the stairs.

“Patrick, are you not jonesing for this girl right now?”

Patrick couldn’t deny that ever since he met her, all of his dreams had been consumed by her eyes, her hair, her lips and every other part of her body. “That doesn’t really matter. I’m not going to just, you know, have sex with her like a week after I’ve met her.”

He could hear Pete sigh into the phone. “Oh Patrick, how will you ever lose your virginity if you don’t at least try?”

“I’m not going to just have sex with her to lose my vir…” he trailed off as Harper stopped just a few feet in front of him. He was not expecting to see her in their dorm at that moment. Her face was flushed and she was holding a few books in her hands, looking at him with wide eyes. He cursed himself silently and took the phone away from his ear. “H..h..hey Harper,” he stammered, smiling as friendly as he could without looking like a big creep.

“Patrick, hey,” she said, glancing at her feet. “I wasn’t, um, expecting, to um, see you here.”

He could hear Pete nearly screaming into the phone. “Oh, um, yeah, Pete wanted to go over some lyrics,” he gestured toward his phone, “and I have, um, a break, between, classes so…” He knew that she heard him talking about sex and was hoping that she didn’t think he was talking about her. Then again, I don’t want her thinking I’m talking about another girl either and then she ends up thinking I’m with someone, he thought. God, this is so complicated!

“Oh, well that sounds like fun. I was just about to go to my next class,” she held up her book in her hand, which said American Fiction Anthology Volume 5 on it. “Tell Pete I said hi,” she said quickly and pushed past him, racing down the stairs.

“Bye!” Patrick called out after her, then into the phone, “Crap, I think she heard me talking about having sex with her.”

“What a sweetheart. She doesn’t even know me and she is telling me hi. I like her already,” Pete replied.

“Pete!”Patrick could hear the whining in his voice.

“It’s okay Patrick. At least now she knows that you want to have sex with her.”

“I’m a guy, she’s a girl, don’t most girls assume that most guys want to have sex with them?”

“You’d be surprised. Plus, I think you should be more worried about the fact that she knows you’re a virgin now.”

“Ugh, Pete, this is your fault!”

“You’ll get over it. She will too,” Pete said nonchalantly. “Okay, are we back at the room yet?”

Patrick pulled his keys out and pushed them in the door then said resignedly, “Yeah, we are.”

“Thank God. Let’s go over these lyrics then. We’ll discuss your lady problems later.”