Shout the Call

By nine pm, after I had slowly sipped at two glasses of red wine, we were all back on the bus and queuing up to drive off the ferry. We all sat around the dining table. Aaron seemed quiet; almost uncomfortable.

“Hey honey,” I whispered, turning to face him, “everything okay?”

“What?” Aaron answered slowly. He definitely wasn’t ‘in the room’, “Oh um, yes, I’m fine.”

I’m no body language expert, that’s for sure, but it was blindingly obvious Aaron was far from fine. I put my left hand on his right knee and felt his muscles tighten and flinch at the contact. I looked at him, feeling utterly puzzled by his behaviour. Something was unnerving about how he was acting but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what. I moved my hand to his hands that were fidgeting on the table and pulled him up out of his seat, not even bothering to apologise to the guys as I whisked him away. Aaron dragged behind like a lost puppy; he put up no resistance in being taken away from his gang. I spun him round so we faced eachother, put both my hands on his shoulders and gently forced him down to sit on his bunk. His head hung low. I stood in front of him, wondering if I could seek out any kind of explanation for his peculiar behaviour. Nothing was forthcoming.

“What the hell is going on Aaron?” I asked. No answer. “Aaron, seriously – come on!” I continued, struggling to keep my voice low enough not to be heard, “You obviously are not okay. Have I upset you? Is it something I’ve done?”

Aaron snorted a strained chuckle and shook his head in reply.

“Well what then? For crying out loud, speak to me. It’s clear you have some issue with me and I would rather know what it is I’ve done or said so I can gauge whether or not to keep out of your way.”

Aaron laughed again and this time there was something strangely sinister about it’s tone. I didn’t like it one little bit.

“Aaron, stop it! You’re starting to scare me.”

“Scared?” Aaron said. Finally he speaks!

“Yes. You’re scaring me.”

“Why?”

“Hell knows,” I replied, calming very slightly now he was actually responding, “but maybe it has something to do with your maniacal laugh and weird fucking behaviour.”

He laughed; again and again I couldn’t see what he found so funny. If I wasn’t being paid to be on the tour with this bloody band, I would have got my stuff and got the hell off. I felt like a little sprat in a sea of sharks. Aaron looked straight into my eyes, turning suddenly serious.

“It’s not you, Bea.”

“Great, cool,” I replied, “that still doesn’t explain anything though, does it.”

“What needs to be explained exactly?” Aaron asked.

“Are you kidding me?” I shouted as quietly as I could through gritted teeth.

Aaron looked away from me, shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m getting really bloody annoyed with this; with you,” I went on, “What the hell have I done, or not done, more to the point?”

Aaron looked straight at me again. His eyes bored into mine and immediately felt vulnerable.

“It really is not you, Bea,” Aaron answered, his voice trembling. Was he starting to get upset?

“So you’ve said,” I said, calmly this time, “but please, don’t give me that bullshit. Show me some credit.”

“Bea, honey; I mean it – you have done absolutely nothing wrong. You’re beautiful, funny, sweet, caring, amazing – shit, I can’t think of any more glowing adjectives. You’re just perfect.”

I felt like I had been hit by a ton of bricks. I knew Aaron liked me, at least I thought he did, but I had no idea he thought so much about me. The second I started to warm to him again, I snapped back to defence mode.

“But?” I asked.

“Yup, there’s always a ‘but’ isn’t there honey?”

“Well, actually – no, there isn’t always, Aaron,” I answered, “You know, sometimes two people can connect and just enjoy their time together. Relationships are only as complicated as you make them.”

“Ah, if it was all so simple, Bea.”

I shook my head in total frustration.

“Aarrgghh!” I shouted and by now, I was positive that the band knew there was something ‘up’.

Aaron looked at me as if I had cracked up.

“Are you okay, Bea?”

“Excuse me? How dare you ask me that,” I replied, seething with anger, “How dare you turn this into my problem!”

“Sorry,” Aaron said with a sigh. He did seem really very sorry and looked fed up. That made two of us. I plonked myself down on the bunk beside him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze.

“Me too,” I replied, not knowing why I was but knowing it was the right thing to say at the same time.

“Bea, it’s just….” Aaron said as he cupped his face in his hands and rubbed it like he was trying to wipe away all his worries.

“Shush,” I said as I pulled his hands down from his now red face. I turned his head towards mine and held his face mere inches away from it. I spotted tear streaks down his cheeks. “Shush. Don’t say any more; not now. Let’s put this to bed until we’re both thinking straight.”

“But…” Aaron went on before I quickly silenced the words that threatened to leave that delectable mouth of his with a long, needy kiss.