The Life of Avery Stone

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like some how you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming?
No you don't know what it's like
That nothing feels alright!
No you don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt,to be lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

I ran straight in my room,locking the door behind me. I couldn't believe my life--no! I couldn't believe the people I let into my life! Not one bit! Why did I let Carly in?! All I did was get hurt! I was a freak! I goth/emotional freak!

I threw my back pack on the floor,and extremely hard too. I felt tears plague my eyes,but I didn't care. I turned on my stereo,not caring what was on,and I just started throwing my stuff every where. Starting with my night stand. I was just so confused,angry,upset,sad...and maybe disappointed in everyone--even myself!

I just don't understand! I never slept with Carly! Shit! I was still a virgin! I've never slept with any one in my life! So why is she telling everyone that we did!? She's trying to pin me as the villain! But I'm the victim! She cheated on me with Alec! So how did I cheat on her?! And with a guy?! But I didn't! Just because I told her I was bi curious almost a YEAR ago does not mean I'm gay now! So why?! Why was Carly doing this to me?!

Because of what she said,the guys have been hassling me all day! Violently and sexually. Not only that,but verbally too! They believed everything Carly said! And now they either want to beat me up,or try get sex out of me! Even the seniors! Not only that,but Val hasn't been talking to me lately either.

I gave up on my room,and I stormed into my bathroom. I closed the door and got undressed quickly. I turned on the hot water,and I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt disgusted to see that one of the seniors left a dark purple hickey on my neck after he assaulted me. I'm not a whore or a slut! So why did Carly say that?! My finger nails scraped on the small mark over and over until I saw blood drip from my neck. I sighed and sobbed more as I got into the shower,giving up.

I let the hot steaming water hit the top of my head and go down from my face to my neck,and I felt stinging in my wound as the water touched it. In some way,I liked the pain. It took my mind off what happened today. The worst day of my life.

Soon I heard a loud song,and I jumped a bit. I almost forgot I had my stereo on. I heard the lyrics clearly,and You Are The Heart by Blood On The Dance Floor was on. I started to get familiar with the band cause I liked their sound,and even though most of their songs were about sex,I liked them. Some of their new songs were more inspiring though. Like Rise And Shine,Mourning Star,and Unforgiven. I soothed as I heard the lyrics,but a sorta sadness hit in me even more. Soon I was too tempted to hold it in,so I let out a painful scream as I held my body tightly. My sobs instantly took over my scream. Once I thought I was done in the shower,I got out.

I grabbed a towel and started to dry myself off. I looked in the mirror once again and saw the wound on my neck. I sighed. Turtle necks and I are gunna be friends for a few weeks. Ehhhh,I hate turtle necks! Well,whatever.

I dried up the blood running down my neck and down my chest. I put the towel under the sink. If my stepmom saw this she'd FREAK. I pulled out a new towel,and I wrapped it around my lower torso. I then went back into my room. Once I did,I went to my dresser and pulled out a black turtle neck and a pair of blue basket ball shorts. I put them on,and I wiped my tears. I walked over to my back pack on the floor,and I pulled out my cell phone. Only did I see a text from Alec--though I wanted to see a text from Valentine.

"Dude,I heard what happened. I'm sorry! I broke up with Carly. She's such a fuggin bitch. I promise I had nothing to do with any of this. It was Carly" Alec had texted.

I bit my lip. I didn't hate or holding anything against Alec. I knew he had nothing to do with what Carly said about me. I felt better though that he had broken up with her and apologized to me. I then texted back,"It's fine. Thanks Alec"

After I texted him,I sat on the edge of my bed. My phone slowly went off,and finally it was from Valentine. I felt a sprung of joy in my stomach. It was nice to have something good after what happened today.

"Hay,Avery :) sorry I haven't been at school. My dad had me unpack and all this other crap before he even thought about enrolling me XP but I'll be there in a few days,I promise ;) so how was your day?"

Before I could even text,Val called me. I quickly answered and put the phone to my ear "Hello?" I asked,some what excited.

"Hey,soooooo how was your day?" Val's deep voice asked.

I laid down in my bed and over my blankets "Utter shit,you?" I replied.

I heard Valentine sigh "Tiring...why was your day utter shit?" He asked.

I bit my lip "Can we not talk about it?" I asked.

I heard him hum "Ooookkkaaaayyy that's fine" Valentine said.

I reached over and pulled my panda to my chest. I know,I'm 14 and have a stuffed animal? Yes,yes,I do. I've had this panda since I could remember. It makes me feel relaxed when I'm stressed or upset,ok? It helps. "Why was your day tiring?" I asked.

"Gah...I was unpacking all day. So what's ya doing?" Val asked.

I shrugged "Laying in bed...I'm sorta tired" I replied.

"You gunna fall asleep soon?" Val asked,and I could tell he was smiling through the phone.

I nodded "Maybe" I stated,yawning slowly.

"Sleep then,Avery" he laughed a bit.

"Fine,I'll go then" I said.

I heard something fall and crash on his line of the phone "N-no! I mean,you don't have to hang up...you could sleep while you talk to me...I mean if you want to!" Valentine exclaimed at me.

I giggled "Okay...I guess" I replied.

"Okay...so what's on your mind,Avery?" He asked casually.

I frowned as I put some thought into it "um..." I started "Nothing really,just sorta talkin' to you" and I felt my eyes start to get droopy.

I heard him make another small laugh "Sounds legit" Val replied. Val started to say something else,but it sorta blurred as I fell asleep.

It felt good to finally sleep. I just didn't want to get up