Airplanes

I watched them exchange their cheesey vows and tried to keep my eyes off of him. I didn’t want to not look, he was pleasing to the eyes, and he was staring at me. He was boring holes into my face.

I looked at my brother take the plunge with the woman that he loves. He looks so happy and his smile seemed so lovingly and kind. My brother I thought would be the last one to wear a ring, but here he is married, and I’m the one fucking someone I had met on my flight to his wedding.

He was going to keep this woman warm, safe and make her the happiest woman alive, her face couldn’t be happier than it was when he kissed her for the first time as his wife. He wanted to love her forever. I tapped my heel against the floor, which was so holy.

I didn’t make eye contact with the man that everyone was pushing me towards. I felt ill. I wasn’t going to allow myself to become someone pushing me towards a man that a year ago my brother would have slit his throat with a hockey skate. I had no idea how everyone had become so pro Jeff. No, I honestly couldn’t believe that my brother was so on this. I wanted to have him, I wanted to go over and kiss him, and say I wanted him, but that’s what everyone else wanted. But of course the stubborn asshole I am, I couldn’t fucking admit that… Am I allowed to think the word fuck in a church?

He looked amazing. He was sharply dressed in an expensive suit, one I’m pretty

I know that I couldn’t stay here forever, in this moment, I couldn’t live in Los Angeles, I had a job and friends and people I loved in the city that honestly never slept.

After the ceremony we went to the reception. I twirled my long hair through my fingers. Mike walked up to me and sat down, “Hey mini-Green.” I rolled my eyes at him. I hated my nickname that they had lovingly given me, it was truly an honor to get a nickname but come on, they could have been a little more inventive.

“What’s going on?” I looked over at him. He smiled as my brother and new sister in law walked in, to music and clapping and catcalls. I smiled at the couple.

“You think I should tie Linds down?” I laughed at his comment, they were the first couple I had ever seen that should have gotten married and had 12 babies by now.

“You should have tied her down long ago Richie.” He smiled. Everyone knew he couldn’t do better then that girl, hell she was a doctor, he had to tie her down

“I’ll take it into consideration. Have a good time tonight,” He winked at me as I walked away. I never had been good with reading people but I was under the assumption he was going to put a ring on her finger soon, at least I was hoping that conversation meant.

I wanted to have a good time and go home with Jeff, I wanted to go off and become his because that’s really what I wanted to do, but all I really wanted was to come out of this whole weekend without my heart in Los Angeles, when I went back to New Orleans.

“Hey,” I looked behind me, the adorable blonde head smiled “Want to dance?” I nodded and he took my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. I didn’t want to talk about the fact I was catching a red eye. He knew about my flight to New Orleans International Airport. I had to go back to Matt’s and pack my bag my 2 am, and then off to LAX by 3.

He looked up at me with all of his emotions. “Stay.”

“I can’t,” He rolled his eyes, “I have a job, and condo, and friends”

“You could get a job out here, and hell you could take over your brother’s, he and the Mrs are buying a house and I’m here.” The last part hurt. It was painful to hear. He wanted me to stay, that’s all he wanted and I was pulling away, farther and farther away from Los Angeles and closer to New Orleans.

“I just can’t ditch my job and what if you get traded? I’m here screwed over.” We slowed our dance down. I wasn’t going to be the goddamn girlfriend of a rich hockey player, that wasn’t my state of mind, and I was going to keep it that way. I didn’t want to live off someone, that’s why I always paid my brother back, and I never let anyone give me anything.

“Emily, I’m not getting traded, give this a shot.” His eyes were pleading. He was all I wanted. He wanted me and no one else. The voice in the back of my head was saying no. It was impractical. My heart was a whole different matter. It was pleading just as hard as he was. I wanted too, I really did, but I couldn’t stay here and if something didn’t work out 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months down the road, I’d be in a city I really had never enjoyed.

“May I cut in?” It was Penner, Jeff let go of my hand and he took mine. I smiled at the big oaf. “You look really happy with him ey?” I gave him the ‘fuck you’ face and then smiled at the man.

“He wants me to stay.”

“Shit, I want you to stay too. I wouldn’t have gotten through this bullshit divorce from hell without your sorry ass.” I smiled at the man who had earned a special place in my heart. “But you’re logical and won’t stay because New Orleans is where you belong right now. Maybe it’ll change when you come back and you’ll move out here so I have someone to talk to when I’m drunk, but you’ll get on that flight and go back.”

“You’re the only one who gets me.” I laughed. “I never want to stay but at the same time all I want is for me to be with him.”

“He’ll wait, Emily.” Dustin said earnestly.

“You think so?” He smiled at me.

“Anyone who wouldn’t wait for you is a fucking dumbass. Hell, I should’ve married you. Ry and Jerry love you! You make the best food on earth and we never talk about that weekend. I blushed intensely. My best friend knew I was going to come back, I just had to get Jeff to understand he had to wait.

I didn’t know how long I would make him wait.