Home of the Free, the Sick, and Depraved

-Slash's POV-

"Slash, why is there fear in your voice?" Razor called to check up on me.
"Fear? Nope. No fear," I nervously laughed.
"Come on."
"Fine. It's because I let you down..."
"How did you let me down?"
"I promised I'd call you when I felt like harming and I didn't."
"You didn't let me down. It hurts to know that you feel this way. I can't help but think that I've been the reason you have harmed before."
"Nope. You haven't ever been the reason. Don't worry," I straight up lied to Razor. She has been the reason multiple times. She and Megan both. They are so oblivious to how they exclude me all the time!
*Flashback*
"Come with us, Slash, it'll be fun!" Megan invited me to go to an amusement park with her and Razor somewhere outside of New York City.
"Fine, fine, I'll go," we called a cab and off to the roller coasters we went.
We were in a pretty long line for one the coasters so we entertained ourselves by talking.
"Are you serious? She said Joey has some growing up to do?" Razor asked Megan who's response was a nod, "What does she know? They're just tarot cards, come on. Maybe she mistaked it for Joey's son?"
"No. Jess took me to see her friend and said that the fool card does not mean that at all."
"Yeah the fool ca-" I tried joining the conversation just to be interrupted by Razor.
"What does it mean?"
"I don't know. Something like being a fool for love."
"That's-" once again, interrupted.
"I'm sure Joey is the one for you."
"I hope so. Slash, were you saying something?" oh now you care? How nice.
"No," I smiled and we boarded the seats on the roller coaster.
We all hopped off and Megan and Razor were way ahead of me, talking to each other. I eventually lost them and tried calling both of them, but neither answered their phone. I decided to just ride what I wanted and play what I pleased. After a while, neither one of them called back nor answered when I attempted calling them again. Don't they notice I'm gone? Guess not; time to go home. I silently cried in the cab all the at back to the city.

The next day, I saw the girls again. They recounted stories from the amusement park; some I witnessed, others I wasn't with them for. Last night's blood session wasn't too bad and I was mostly over the issue until Megan swung this at me, "Slash, you should've been there!" really? I should've been there? I was, but you abandoned me.
"I was busy," I forced a smile and faked my happiness until I had the opportunity to relieve this emotional pain.
*End Flashback*
Things suddenly became blurry and I screamed right before I blacked out.
"Back so soon? Slash, baby," Alex was motionless on the swing.
"I don't know what happened. I was in the hospital and on the phone with Razor. I had a flashback, blacked out, and now I'm here."
"You're in the midst of an anxiety attack."
"How do you know this?"
"I used to have them. I would suddenly be in my dead uncle's house and have conversations with him. Just like you and I are doing."
"How long does it last?" I saw him open his mouth to speak, but I gained consciousness of reality at the same time. I have the answer to my question, at least.