Tangled in the Great Escape

By the time March came rolling in, we were already finished with the writing process of our next record and now waiting for the recording to start. It’s still cold on most days but at least Frenchi was done complaining on how she was ‘freezing to death’. We got back from Big Bear last week and now we’re catching up on some serious down time with our families.

A lot has changed since the New Years, in a good way. Things are back to the way they were, even better I would say, and the fact that we will be in the studio next week just amped everyone. Frenchi is getting extremely big that she looked like she was ready to burst anytime soon and if everything goes to plan, she will have the baby in the beginning of April.

Vic was still going on and on about me talking to Cassie and how it will help me to get her back but honestly, I was having second thoughts about it after what I heard from Avela. So every time Vic brought up that topic, I would make up an excuse about how busy I am working on Key Street and Love Before Glory.

It was one of those bright-but-cold kind of days and I was over at Vic’s trying to come up with sick guitar riffs for the new record. Even though we were done with the writing process, we thought it would be best to have a few back up plans incase what we wrote didn’t turn out as good.

“I was thinking for this one, we should have like a small breakdown somewhere in the middle but not as heavy that it’s out of place” I suggested when we were working on this song called ‘King for a Day’.

“I guess that could work, do you have something in mind? I’m kind of drawing blanks right now” Vic leaned back to the couch and sighed, passing the guitar to me.

I showed him a couple ideas that I came up with for that tiny part but we both were still not seeing eye-to-eye about which one we should use.

“Well, let’s just think about it in the studio. I’m in the mood to play some Fifa” Vic threw the music notebook onto the table and stood up, turning on his Xbox.

I shrugged and put the guitar down beside the couch. Vic threw me one of the controllers and we got into some serious shouting match whenever one of us scores.

“Dude, Rachel doesn’t mind the noise? I know Frenchi would start bitching whenever we played Xbox in her house” I chuckled; looking over my shoulder afraid that Rachel might pop in out of the blue.

“Nah, she went out since this morning and I don’t know where she is” He chuckled without taking his eyes off the screen. “She’s been busy though, lately. Whenever I’m home she would be out taking care of stuff”

I hummed a response simply because I don’t know how else to respond to what he said. After another half hour of intense match, I decided to forfeit because I was losing by far too much.

“Grow a pair, Perry. Learn to take defeat like a real man!” Vic stood up and threw his controller to my lap, inches away from my manhood.

“Jesus, watch it!” I threw it back to him and he caught it with one hand, while giving me a cocky smile.

“I’m gonna make lunch, want some sandwich?” He asked and I nodded in response. I went to the kitchen to help him prepare the bread and chips.

“So, how’s Cassie? Have you tried to talk to her yet?” Vic asked as we walked back to the couch, carrying our own respective plate of sandwich and potato chips.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Here we go again.

“No, I haven’t. I don’t know what to say” I sat down and placed the plate on the table.

“Well, just say ‘hi’ and ask how she’s doing,” He said nonchalantly as he took a gigantic bite.

“And act like nothing happened? She will hate me even more, Vic” I rolled my eyes.

“Just type something! Do something, grow a pair!”

“I don’t know man, I’m scared!” I groaned and suddenly Vic came charging forward, nearly knocking over the plate I was holding.

“What the fuck dude!”

“Give me your phone, if you’re not going to do it then I will” He said as we wrestle on the couch, him trying to get my phone from my pocket and me trying to prevent that from happening.

“Stop it! You’re crushing my balls,” I groaned when I felt his knees digging to my crotch.

“You don’t even have any, don’t be a bitch,” He said sounded a bit strained because he was literally stretched on top of me backwards.

After another few seconds of grunting and wrestling on the couch, I finally got Vic off me, the only downside is that he has my phone and was already typing something.

“Vic, come on. Seriously don’t do anything stupid”

He handed me my phone with an already typed text message addressed to Cassie, but still not yet sent.

“Do it. You’re never going anywhere if you don’t start”

“What if it doesn’t work?” I sighed and read the message over and over again.

“Well, what do you have to lose? She already hates you” He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes and focused back on the text. “That’s helpful, thank you very much Victor”

After what felt like a lifetime of internal debate, I counted to three and pressed that SEND button that has been taunting me, to prove how much of a man I was.

“Did you send it?” Vic sat up and looked over my shoulder to see my phone.

“Mhm, now what?” I leaned back, sighed and rubbed my face in stress.

“Now we wait, let’s hope she doesn’t hate you that much and maybe, just maybe she’ll return your text”





Everywhere else March would mean spring but here in London, spring is just a prolonged snowless winter that is sucking the life out of me. I was at the point where I desperately need the sun that I would actually kill someone to go back to San Diego.

I huffed in frustration and tighten the belt on my coat as I walked out of the train station. I felt like I was cooped up inside my apartment for too long that I actually lost every single motivation to write and I have 4 articles that were due in two days, so I thought a nice day out to get some inspiration wouldn’t hurt.

A few days ago, as I was walking around to find a place to eat for lunch, I found a little cute coffee shop tucked on the corner of Oxford Street called the Borough Barista and I’ve been dying to go there ever since.

I grabbed a chair outside because even though it’s still not sunny, it wasn’t as cold as it normally is. I set up my laptop, notes and as I waited for my coffee to arrive, I lit up a stick and just like that I thought of home, only this time I actually felt fine.

With all my time being spent with Robyn and Callum, my thoughts are always occupied with the present and not the past. Which is a good thing, because now when I think about home I always think about the good things, not the shitty spat between Tony and I.

An hour into my writing, I can feel my head heated up and about to burst to pieces. I interviewed the guys from Bullet From My Valentine last week about their new album and how the guitar style changed from their last album, but since I wasn’t really a BFMV fan, writing a piece about them was a challenge.

“Fuck my life” I groaned and sighed loudly. I leaned back into the chair and reached into my bag to fish out my cigarette when I felt my phone vibrated.

I unlocked the phone with a newly lit cigarette hanging from my mouth, not bothering to look who it was from.

From: perrytony@firewire.com
To: c.hayes@futureplc.com

Hi Cass, it’s Tony. How are you? I hope you’re doing great. How’s life in London? I bet it’s so much better than here in San Diego :)

I miss having you around; let’s catch up soon

Love,
Tony.

I felt my throat constricting and my heart beating a million times per minute. My head felt heavy and at that moment, I really thought I was going to faint.

After months of not talking to each other, the email I got from Tony threw me into a loop that I literally felt dizzy and wobbly. I don’t know what he was thinking sending me that email, acting like nothing happened and expecting me to just be okay. It’s very ‘Tony’ of him to be so inconsiderate of other people’s feelings and situation. After all this time, he’s still the same asshole that drove me away from San Diego.

I put out my cigarette, closed my laptop and put everything inside my bag. I took a few deep breaths, stood up and began to walk aimlessly because I feel like I was going to combust if I stayed any longer in that place, sitting down.

For some reason, after walking around for almost half an hour, I found myself in Callum’s doorsteps. Without any further thinking, I knocked on his apartment door, shifting my weight while waiting for him to open the door.

I was panting, my heart was beating out of my chest and my palms felt clammy. I was nervous, anxious and panicking all at the same time.

“Cassie?” Callum asked confusedly when he saw me standing in front of his doorstep, fidgeting like a druggie.

I went inside his apartment before he got the chance to invite me in and threw all my stuff onto the couch.

“What are you doing here? Did we have plans that I stupidly forgot?” He looked scared and apologetic.

“No. I’m just freaking out and I don’t know who to talk to, I don’t even know why I’m doing here, I was just walking and I found myself in front of your apartment and I just don’t know what to do” I said in one breath and Callum walked towards me, grabbing both my arms.

“Hey, hey, slow down. What happened? Did someone do something to you? Are you hurt?”

“No, it’s just Tony” I sighed, let go of my arms and stepped back.

“Tony? Oh geez Cassie, I really thought something bad had happen to you!”

I was taken aback by his response and honestly felt a bit hurt that he took what I thought was a huge thing, so lightly.

“I… I just need to talk to someone about it, I feel like I’m about to go crazy” I felt my lips quiver and I know I was about to cry.

“Uhh, I don’t think now is a good time Cass. I’m kind of expecting someone in a bit” He bit his lip nervously, while constantly looking back and forth to the door.

“You’re expecting someone?”

“Yeah, a girl that I kind of been seeing” He rubbed the back of his head nervously, not wanting to look me in the eye.

“You kind of been seeing? You’ve been seeing someone? Serious?”

“Um, yeah I guess so, that’s why I kinda need you to… you know” He said clicking his tongue and pointed at the door.

My mouth fell to the floor and I could feel my eyes watering from the blatant rejection. I stood up abruptly, forcing Callum back a few steps and grab my bags harshly.

“Have a fucking good day, Callum” I went out and slammed the door hard behind me.

I sighed loudly and began walking to the only other person I know and trust in London, Robyn.

On the way, I kept thinking about Tony and Callum, and how I could easily be controlled and fooled by the two guys that I trust the most.

I buzzed the intercom when I reached Robyn’s apartment, hoping that she would be home.

“Who’s there?”

“Hey, it’s me. Can you buzz me in?”

I didn’t hear any reply but I heard the door buzzed open so I went in immediately, making my way up to her apartment room. Walking inside, I instantly burst into tears and stayed in that condition for more than half an hour. Being the great friend that she is, Robyn didn’t say a word and just kept comforting me, giving me tissues and wine.

“Are you ready to talk?” Robyn asked when my tears had stopped.

“I just… I don’t know what’s happening to me”

“Just start at the beginning, I got nothing but time” She smiled sweetly and I nodded.

I told her everything about how Tony and I used to be, what happened between us and what happened earlier today, then I told her about Callum and the shit he pulled just an half an hour ago.

“What am I supposed to do? I’m just fucking clueless” I sighed dramatically

She smiled briefly and patted me on the shoulder. “Guys are arseholes, just leave ‘em be, what’s important is that you got me”

“Yeah, I’m one lucky gal” I said quietly and threw my head back onto the couch.

This has been one lousy day.