Crooked Young

"Oli, give them back." His glassy eyes told me he was high. He walks towards me and grabs my arm and pulled up the sleeve on my jacket.
"What the fuck have you been doing to yourself, love? Why" He stared into my eyes and I could see the deep dark sadness in them. I yanked my arm back and pulled my sleeve down.
"Nothing. I'm fine. Give them back to me now I don't need your help." He was pissed now and threw the razors on the bed and grabbed me and slammed me against the wall.
"Listen here little girl, I hate lying. I've been through this. Cut yourself again and see what happens. I might not be the kindest guy as you can tell but I care. You're beautiful. God, so so beautiful. Don't hurt yourself ever." He loosened his grip. He just gave me total mixed signals he went from anger and about to beat me to yelling to soft caring.

All I could do is nod. I'd have to figure him out one day. He kissed my forehead and let me go but grabbed the razors and shoved them in his pocket.
"You don't get these back." I was fighting back tears.
"Wh-W-Where's Austin-n-n?" I stuttered trying not to cry. He sensed this and came over and hugged me.
"He had to go fix up his place so you'll be staying with my bird, the gang, and I for awhile." He looked me up and down.
"I would say make yourself at home but it seems you already did so." He smiled. I didn't. I wanted Austin. He's the only one that has ever cared about me and never hurt me.

"S-so, wanna s-share whatever you're on?" If i was gonna have to be alone with Oli and everyone else without Austin, I wanted to be numb.
He smiled and grabbed my hand.
"Sure just don't tell Austin. He'd kill me." I smiled a little but I didn't want to think about Austin. He left me alone. Oli led me out of the room and took me downstairs to where Lee, Matt, Vegan, and Jordan were. They were all fucked up.
"Oh, I see you brought us a toy. She's so fucking hot, Oli. I call first." Jordan said with smirk. I ignored the growing bulge in his pants and sat down on the sofa across from them.

"Shut the fuck up, Jordan. She ain't ours. She's Austin's you know that, fuck head." Oli said as he handed me a joint and a lighter. Jordan eyed me up and down but didn't say anything. I lit the joint and took a long drag and let out. Everyone was staring at me and paranoia hit me so I took another drag and held it in longer. I closed my eyes and tried to relax and let the weed take over my brain and thoughts. I slowly exhaled and leaned my head back. I felt someone sit down next to me. I jumped and looked to see it was only Oli. He smiled at me but only continued smoking and talking and laughing. I kept on smoking until I could feel the high coming. I smiled to myself and grabbed another joint off the table and lit it.

"Someone's greedy." Lee said but he was smiling so i just blew it off that it could be a joke. I smiled.
"Haven't had any pot in a long time." I normally wouldn't be this comfortable being in a room full of kidnappers but I'd rather be anywhere as long as it wasn't with my father, even if it was against my will. I took another drag and just let it consume my whole body this time and slowly let out. By now my high was a pretty fucking good one and I wasn't my self. I was out of my shell and had a 'I will fucking smash your fucking face in just fucking try me, cunt' attitude. Everyone was getting up and leaving and I sure as hell wasn't going to be alone again. I'm tired of everyone always just leaving me alone and if Austin didn't want to be here then fuck it. I didn't want to have sex with anyone and I didn't want anything sexual, I just wanted someone to let it all out to.

I guess Lee saw the look in my eyes because when everyone else went to their rooms he grabbed me and pulled my upstairs to my room.
"I'm calling Austin to tell him you need him. You have the 'pissed at the world so fuck off look' and your not ours so we can't do anything about it." He sat me on the bed and sat next to me and dialed a number in his phone.
"Good. I hope he calls him. I'm gonna show him exactly how it felt to be shown love and then have it leave you alone with someone who is bipolar and agressive. He wants me to let him in then fine. I'll let he bastard in." I thought to myself. Deep down I knew i wasn't mad at him. I knew it was just the hurt and anger and sadness I had built up over my lifetime. But I didn't care. I needed to let it out. I know I'm going to regret it but at this moment I don't give a single fuck. He saved my life and it was time for me to let someone in anyway even if it would come out as anger and resentment. I need to let it go. And I know Austin might get hurt but as the others told me, I'm his. I needed to let him in sooner or later anyway.

"You hear me? He's on his way. Go easy on him, he really does care he just wanted to make his house perfect for you. I'm gonna go back to my room so he doesn't get the wrong idea, okay? Night, Skylar. Sweet dreams, Love" Lee snapped me out of my deep thoughts, I just simply nodded and he gave me a sympathy smile and walked out of the room and closed the door. I felt rage wash over me and I jumped up and started going through all the drawers and closets. I spotted the mini fridge and ran over to find it filled with alcohol. I grabbed the clear, tall, see through bottle. I opened and laughed and thought it was ironic that i was about to do what destroyed my life even before I was born. But if Oli wouldn't let me cut than I could find new ways to slowly destroy myself. I took a swig and went back to the bed and kept chugging and waiting.