I'd Go Through Hell and Back for You

“Where the hell is Demi?” I yelled as I paced around my dressing room at my UNICEF charity concert. She promised that she would be here and I’m freaking out because she isn’t.

“Calm down, she text me and said she is on her way.” Marissa told me. “Now I’m going to go get some food, will you be okay by yourself?”

“Yeah, Nick and Olivia should be here soon.” I waved my hand at her. “Plus Dallas and Madison are around here somewhere.”

“I’ll tell them to come back here so you’re not alone.” Marissa told me as she picked up her purse. I told her that she didn’t have to do that but she insisted as she left the dressing room.

I was waiting for Dallas and Madison rushing in after Marissa left but they didn’t, it was Nick and Olivia who came into the dressing room. I looked over at them and smiled sadly. I honestly am not sure why I asked Nick here today, I just really needed him. A lot of people say that exes can’t be friends after a break-up but Nick and I have really made it work, the first year or so we didn’t but once we reconnected when he came to talk to me after Justin and I broke up we really have became friends again. I think that’s why I really wanted to talk to him because he knows me on a different level than any of my friends do.

"What's going on, you look upset. I know you get nervous before a show but that look isn't nerves, it's terrified." Nick asked me in concern. He took my hand and had me sit down next to him. I felt so awkward that he was showing me such concern and attention while his girlfriend is in the room. I don't want her to think that either one of us are harboring any feelings for each other because I am pregnant and over the moon in love with Brian and I know that Nick is itching to propose.

I sighed as I played with the material of my dress. I'm not sure I should even talk about my relationship problems with my ex. We are friends but it is still weird. But I guess that he is the best person to help me with my current situation. "Umm, would you have taken me back if our roles were reversed and I was the one who cheated on you back then?" I saw Olivia's eyes grow wide at my question and that's when I realized that I should have phrased that better. "Oh my god! I don't want him back that was not why I asked. It's just," I groaned, "You both know about Brian cheatiing on me and I'm torn on what to do."

Olivia's nerves eased once I explained my question. Nick looked over at her and gave her hand a squeeze in reassurance. "To answer your initial question since it is an interesting one and we have discussed this in the past somewhat, it would honestly come down to the whole situation. Who and why. But knowing me I would have back then. I had a horrible way of showing it but I truly loved you."

"But love doesn't make a relationship. It is a huge factor of course but you know me trust is the biggest part. How can I trust him?" I tucked my hair behind my ear. "I don't want my relationship with him to turn out like ours. We never got back to a good place because of the cheating."

"That's because I was an asshole and never tried to gain your trust back. Well not like I should have. I wrote Stay for you but I never tried beyond that. If he truly wants you back and you are willing to take him back then you BOTH need to make the effort, especially him, to make it work. You can't throw it in his face when you get upset like I know you will and he has to not only try but
prove to you that he deserves your trust." Nick told me bluntly.

“You’re completely right.” I nodded. “I just feel like I have an obligation to my baby to be with him. I know what it’s like to grow up with my dad not being there all the time. I don’t want my baby to have to go through that. I don’t want him or her to grow up being mad at me like I was mad at my mom for years. I love him, I just don’t know if I can do this. I’m so emotionally drained.”

“Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. But I do think that you need to talk to him about it. Get his side of the story. There is never an excuse to cheat, but you told me before that you never asked him what was going through his brain at the time.” Nick said.

“Thanks for being here. I don’t think I could have gotten through all of this mess without you.” I leaned over and gave him a hug. “And thanks Olivia for letting me borrow your boyfriend for a few. You got yourself a good guy, and that’s hard to find.”

“No problem.” she laughed. “It’s actually refreshing that you two are still friends through everything. And I hope you find your good guy.”

“I thought I did, lets just hope he still can be.” I sighed.

“Look who I found!” I heard Dallas say cheerfully as she walked into the dressing room with Madison and Demi following behind her.

“Finally!” I squealed as I got up to hug her. “Where is Alex?”

“Hell if I know. He was weird just about the whole time we were at his dad’s and this morning he gets up and leaves. I’ve called and text him all damn day and nothing. I called Brian and he said he hasn’t heard from him. I just don’t know.” Demi sighed.

“We picked some winners.” I joked trying to soften the tension.

Demi rolled her eyes dramatically. “So where is Marissa and when does this show start? I’m excited to see you back on the stage.”

“Marissa went to get food. And the show starts in like ten minutes.” I told her. “I actually can’t wait to sing with you and Nick.”

“Wait, what? No one told me of this! Ah!” Madison squealed as she clapped her hands.



“Instead of singing Who Says tonight, I’m going to sing one of my favorite Avril songs.” I paused taking a drink of water. “Who Says holds a special place in my heart and it always will. I want everyone to know that it’s okay to be exactly who you are and never let anyone tell you that there is something wrong with you. I also know how hard it is to not break down and feel like you just want to give up. That’s why tonight I’m going to sing Keep Holding On, so you all know that it always gets better. I am lucky enough to have amazing friends and family to tell me that everything will be okay and it’s not always going to be bad when I’m going through something. So I’m going to bring out a couple of dear friends of mine to help me with this song.”

The crowd started to cheer and I heard people screaming Demi and Taylor’s names making me smile. At least they know who the special people are in my life. “Welcome Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas!” I cheered. Nick and Demi made their way to the stage, both giving me a hug before sitting down on the stools set out for them.

People are asking where Joe was making all three of us laugh. “Why are they specifically asking me where Joe is? He’s your brother, Nick.” Demi asked into the mic. “I am engaged guys, don’t think about it.” she laughed.

“Joe is in Hawaii, sorry guys.” Nick chuckled. “And before you think about asking, my girlfriend is backstage so there is no reunion with Selena.”

“Yeah and I adore Olivia so no chance.” I shook my head.

Nick started strumming his guitar causing the crowd to quieten down a little bit. “Lets start this song, what do you say?” Demi and I nodded so Nick started playing the song.

“You’re not alone, together we stand. I’ll be by your side, you know I’ll take your hand.” Demi started to sing and took my hand, smiling at me. “When it gets cold, and it feels like the end. There’s no place to go, you know I won’t give in, no I won’t give in.”

“Keep holding on.” Nick, Demi and I harmonized. “Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through. Just stay strong.” Demi held up her wrists that had her ‘stay strong’ tattoos. “Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you. There’s nothing you could say, nothing you could do. There’s no other way when it comes to the truth so keep holding on. Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through.”

“So far away, I wish you were here.” I started to sing and tears welled up in my eyes. When I asked Nick and Demi to sing with me and I chose this song, I didn’t think it would be this emotional. I just miss Brian so much and I wish this situation were easier. “Before it’s too late, this could all disappear. Before the doors close and it comes to an end, with you by my side I will fight and defend. I’ll find and defend. Yeah, yeah.” I looked over at Nick then at Demi who were both smiling at me because we all know that no matter what we will have each others backs.

We started singing the chorus again and finished up the song and by the end I was completely in tears. I tried really hard not to cry on stage but I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I’ve spent so much time trying not to cry and being strong, but singing this song and hearing the words broke me. I quickly wiped my tears away as Demi came over to hug me. Soon enough Nick was joining in with a group hug.

“I’m sorry for the tears guys, but that song is very emotional for me.” I sniffed. “I want to thank you all for inspiring me every single day and being the most amazing fans. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. And I want to thank Demi and Nick for singing with me and to all my friends who are backstage with me. I love you all.”

“Best friends forever. Remember we’re one and the same.” Demi said cheesily as she hugged me again.

“I’ll always be there for you both.” Nick told us.

“Thank you for coming out everyone! And if you have a meet and greet then I will see you soon.” I said to the crowd.



Demi had came out to my meet and greet but disappeared after she left. No one has seen her and we’ve been waiting for her since we are all going out to dinner. I went to get something out of my car and when I came back in, everyone was gone. What the freaking hell is going on? I just sat down to post a picture to instagram while I waited for these people because I am too tired to walk around to find them.

Roar faces with @ddlovato. Thanks for coming out today. xo


Nick Jonas everyone. @nickjjonas #nonelena #onlyfriends


My phone chimed with a text. It was from Demi who said to meet her at the stage. I was confused to why she wanted me to go there and why she’s been missing for so long. When I got to the stage I was shocked to see it lit up and flower petals everywhere. There was no one on the stage so I looked out and saw all of my friends sitting there with big cheesy smiles on their faces. Okay now I’m even more confused.

“What’s going on?” I asked them as I stood in the middle of the stage. But they all just stood there staring at me like they her possessed or something. Then all of the sudden music started to play. I looked around to see what was going on and for a moment nothing happened other than the music just playing. Then someone started to sing. I looked at everyone and it was none of them. I knew it wasn’t but I had to make sure that I wasn’t going crazy. It was Brian’s voice that I hear but when did he get here and how did he even know about this? I had never told him because he wasn’t supposed to be in town today, at least not until he changed his schedule after we planned out this weekend and by then we were fighting so I just never told him.

“Know I’ve done wrong, left your heart torn. Is that what devils do? Took you so low, where only fools go. I shook the angel in you.” Brian emerged from side stage and before me. I think I quit breathing at the sight of him. Everyone kept telling me that he was broken up about what he did, but I didn’t believe any of them because he hadn’t tried to contact me. I had talked to him the day I picked up my stuff, but after that nothing. The only time I heard from him was when he text me to ask when my next doctors appointment was.

“Now I’m rising from the ground. Rising up to you. Filled with all the strenght I found. There’s nothing I can’t do. I need to know now, know now, can you love me again?” He sang as he walked to me. “I need to know now, know now, can you love me again?” he took my hands in his, looking me dead in the eyes. In that moment I burst into tears for the second time on this stage today.

I looked over at Demi and in my blurred vision I saw her give me two thumbs up. This is what she was doing in the time she was missing. She helped Brian set this up. So she must know the full story because she wouldn’t have helped him otherwise. If she’s telling me it’s okay then it’s okay. She wouldn’t give me hope just to have my heart broken again. Brian had to have sold his case to get here today. I looked back at Brian who was still singing to me with so much hope and sincerity in his eyes. I have missed his presence. I’ve missed him so much and seeing him stand in front of me singing his heart out, it was too much. I felt myself giving in and not caring about anything but having him back.

As he sang the line ‘I need to know now, know now, can you love me again?’ I grabbed ahold of his face and kissed him without letting him finish the song. I’ve heard it enough times to know how it goes so it didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting our relationship back. “I can love you again.” I said as I pulled away. “Actually I never stopped.”

I saw the tears in Brian’s eyes and I knew that I made the right decision. I heard my friends cheering behind me which made me laugh. “I promise that I will make it up to, until my last breath. I am so so sorry and I will be the man that you need. I love you so much.” He pulled me into a heated kiss.

“Get a room! There is children here!” Dallas yelled. I laughed as I looked back and saw her tried to shield Madison’s eyes who was slapping her hands away.

“Don’t hurt her again, I will have to break your face if you do.” Nick warned.

I felt Brian tense up. I’m not sure if it’s because of the threat or who the threat was coming from. “I won’t, I swear.”

“Good. Now that the lovebirds and soon to be parents are back together, can we get food? I’m starving.” Demi groaned dramatically as she rubbed her stomach.

“Yes, please! Baby and momma need food!” I said stomping my foot.

Everyone chose a place to meet up for dinner then left the venue. My life finally feels like it’s back in place. No more Wilmer. Brian is back in my life, but we will still have some time before we’re back to normal. My baby is healthy. My best friend is getting married. Things are as good as they will ever get and I couldn’t be happier. I just pray that they stay this way.