Trophy Fathers, Trophy Son

Lying on Vic’s bed with my back to this chest and his arms around me in a protective state was everything I wanted. There were still so many questions I had for Vic though. There was so much I wanted to know. But honestly, I was a bit nervous to ask. His words kept playing on repeat through my mind “I went home and took a handful of sleeping pills. I didn’t want to wake up you know”. He tried to commit suicide and I just want him to never ever do that again. He said it was because of this Craig guy and I swear on everything that is great in this world, that if I ever lay my eyes on Craig I might flip.

“What are you thinking about?” Vic asked breaking the silence while tracing small shapes on my tummy, which of course sent shockwaves through my entire body.

“Nothing.” I said more quickly than I probably should have. Next thing I know my nice warm spot on Vic’s chest was being replaced by him shifting us so we were face to face. His eyes were pleating for mine to meet his, but I couldn’t. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk or anything, but I was nervous of the answers I would receive.

“Tell me Kellin, please. Whatever’s on your mind.” Vic said and giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. Taking in a deep breath, I decided now better than ever. Finally meeting his eyes, they looked sad and tired. I’ve never noticed this about him before now. His eyes were always so beautiful, but behind that, sadness resided.

“It’s just, well I um don’t exactly know how to ask about your um…” I trailed off dropping my eyes again.

“You want to know about my suicide attempt.” Vic said barely audible.

I snapped my eyes back to him and he was sitting there with an emotionless face, the same one I saw the night he kissed me. Had I already upset him?! Shit, nice job Kellin.

“No, no. It’s none of my business; I just uh want you to be happy. Shit, I’m sorry Vic I didn’t mean to upset you I just….” But his lips were on mine before I could stutter another syllable. Just like the first time it was a perfect shock. His lips were soft and felt like they belonged on mine. Moving in sync our lips moved. Though, when he pulled away I half expected him to yell at me again. I clinched my eyes shut just waiting for him to scream at me.

“Kellin? Why are your eyes closed?” Vic chuckled. “I’m not gonna yell again.” He said in a softer tone rubbing his thumbs over my hands.

Slowly I allowed my eyes to open only to see him with his eyes down and his head low. “I’m sorry.” He said softly not meeting my gaze. My heart broke right there. Simply stopped beating. He looked so fragile and broken and I just wanted to make him feel better.

“Hey, Vic. Look at me” I said as Vic slowly raised his head to meet my eyes. “I’m not mad and you’ve said sorry probably a billion times. I forgive you. 100% and I just want you to promise me one thing.” I didn’t give him a chance to respond. “Promise me; promise me you won’t ever hurt yourself again?” Honestly I felt like a fucking hypocrite. But Vic doesn’t need to know anything about what’s going on with me right now. This is about making him feel better.

He hesitated for a moment and smiled at me. “I promise Kells.” Vic spoke softly and I placed a kiss right on his cheek.

The next morning I was excited to see Vic. My Vic. Or well at least nobody else’s Vic; I’m not sure what to call us though. I mean I told him I’ve give him another chance, but we haven’t “formally” said anything. Honestly I’m not sure I want people know I’m gay. And I’m pretty sure Vic feels the same way because of what he had told me about Matty and Craig, who by the way I still fucking hate and hope I can kick both their asses one day. But for now seeing Vic was the only thing on my mind.

Quickly showering, and throwing on my clothes just before shooting Vic a quick text that I was ready for school, I couldn’t help but smile. An actual smile, because I was happy. The bruises on my face were still completely noticeable, but hopefully people wouldn’t badger me again today with questions. Vic, I know would. But I’d play it off as a casual thing. For the first time in a while, happy. Slowly I crept downstairs, taking a giant sigh of relief that my father wasn’t lurking down there. Managing to find some food in the kitchen I grabbed a pop tart just as I heard Vic pull up in the drive way. Immediately feeling butterflies, I bolted out of the kitchen and headed for the door.

“Kellin my man! How’s it hanging?” Mike beamed as I got into the car. Letting a laugh slip my lips at Mikes over bubbly self, I mean really. That jolly at 7 AM? How?

“Hey” I greeted with smile at him and quickly nodded at Vic. I could feel his eyes burning holes through my body and I swear his stare on me made my cheeks blush every color red possible. Leaning over his car seat, I felt his breath on my cheek, turning just enough for him to place a small kiss on my lips.

"Good morning" he mumbled against my skin before staring the car.

“Bro, really? Now. In the car. In front of me.” Mike shot from the back seat.

“Don’t be jealous.” Vic snapped back in a play full manner.

Popping his head up from the back, Mike reached his arm out and turned the radio up while mumbling “No comment” before returning to the back. I watched in amazement while holding in my laugh.

Vic walked me to every class. No touching though, of course. Although Vic would graze my hand every once in a while, which only sent electricity through my veins. It was actually a decent day to be honest. Matty had only made a few comments about me being a ‘fag boy’. But I could only laugh at the fact that he was gay as hell too. I only wish I could blurt out “Hey Matty do all your friends know you’re gay too?!” But I couldn’t because I promised Vic I wouldn’t stutter a word of it and the fact that Matty would probably kick my ass. All in all today was the best day I’ve had at this horrible school. Lunch came and I was able to sit with Vic and Mike, Jaime and Tony again. It felt nice to have people around me. Although it would be super nice if Vic and I could be near each other without having a giggling fit. People were bound to notice something was up if we kept giving each other googly eyes.

“Play it cool Kellin.” I repeated to myself just as I sat down on the opposite side of the table from Vic.

“Kellin! Hey man.” Tony greeted me as I sat down. I gave him a smile and a nod as my response. Vic’s eyes never left me. It was awkward to say the least. All I wanted was to kiss that boy sitting across from me. And scream to all the girls that he was mine, paws off.

Lunch ended far too quickly and Vic had to go to his therapy. I didn’t want him to go, but he had to. It was the only way he would feel better, talking about his thoughts with someone who could help. Fuck, I’m such a hypocrite…

“I don’t want to go.” Vic whined as we walked to his car.

“Victor Fuentes, you’re going to see him today and there will be no more discussion about it. Understood?” I said in a demanding tone as we reached his car. Vic only gave me a devilish smirk and pushed me against the car holding me by my hips and attacked my lips. “So if I disobey, you’ll punish me?” He said in a seductive tone before attacking my lips again.

Pushing him away a little, he grunted and I couldn’t help but giggle at him. “Vic, someone could see.” I reminded looking around to make sure nobody was lurking outside in the parking lot.

“So. Let them see.” He said before attacking my lips again. I wanted to melt into his kiss, but he had to go and so did I. Firmly pushing on his chest, Vic gave me a pouty face which was the cutest fucking thing ever.

“You have to goooo.” I said while tapping my invisible watch on my wrist.

“I’ll pick you and Mike up when I get back.” He said just before planting a small kiss on my lips. “Have a good rest of the day.” He said emphasizing the ‘rest’. I gave him a smile just before turning my heel to walk back to class. Only two classes left then I’d have my Vic.

Walking back to my class I know I had a dumb smile plastered on my face, but who cares. I was happy and people should know that.

“Bro!” I heard Mike shout just as I turned out my last class.

“Hey, is Vic here yet?” I asked in a hopeful tone.

Mike smirked at me and gave a knowing wink. “Yup.” With that we both walked out the front school doors, where I saw Vic standing and waiting. Looking up to meet my eyes, Vic looked… nervous? I gave him a confused look, which was only masked by a smile.

The entire car ride home, not one of us said a word, not even Mike. Okay, what the actual fuck is going on? Vic was tapping his thumb nervously on the steering wheel. I had enough; I needed to know whats up. My mouth spoke before my mind registered anything.

“What the hell is up?” I asked turning so I could look at Mike and Vic at the same time. Vic gave his brother a look in the rear view mirror, and then and there I knew something was defiantly up.

“Vic” I sighed. “What did I do?” Honestly I didn’t want to know the answer to that question. I always seem to fuck up somewhere.

Pulling into the drive way, Mike pounced out of the car leaving a very nervous Vic and an even more confused me. Taking a deep breath in, Vic sighed before he spoke.

“I want to tell my parents.” Vic said without meeting my eyes, which I’m thankful for because my eyes widened to the size of baseballs. What?! His parents?!

“You – you? What?” Was literally all I could stutter out. “Vic, I don’t know. What if they hate me?! What if they hate you? Oh my god. I-I haven’t told anyone. I don’t – you what?”

I was in full blown panic mode now. Vic wanted to tell his parents he was gay… Gay with me! What if they disown him? What if they tell my father? Oh my god. What if they tell my father?! Reaching over, Vic grasps my hands in his and turned his body to face me.

“Shooo.” Vic cooed. “Kellin listen to me, they will be fine. I know my parents; I just want you to be okay with it.

He had a point, he really did. I was just scared. “Promise me; promise me they won’t tell my father Vic. They can’t tell him. He’ll kill me.” I trialed off at the last part.

Sitting down at the kitchen table with Vic and his parents on the other side was possibly my most frightened moment of my entire existence. I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. What if they didn’t accept? What if they hate me? Or worse hate Vic?

“Kellin honey what on earth happened to your eye?!” Mrs. Fuentes exclaimed when she laid eyes on me. My chest immediately felt tight. I’d forgotten about my eye. I wasn’t given time to think.

“Oh I uh just fell going down the steps. I’m clumsy.” I said confidently with a reassuring smile, praying to whoever, she would change the subject. Glancing over at Vic he had a confused look of his face. He was probably contemplating how to tell his parents he is gay.

Lifting his gaze from he, Vic started the most important conversation of our lives. “Mom. Dad. There is something I – or well we need to tell you” Vic finally spoke. He took my hand in his, which sent shock waves through my body, as always. But these shock waves were form fright and hormones.

“Son?” Vic’s mom questioned with a worried tone sitting finally taking a seat beside her husband. Oh god, here goes everything…

“I’m gay and Kellin is my boyfriend.” Vic blurted out while squeezing my hand a little too tight.

I don’t know what I was expecting. Lightening? Thunder? God to come down and strike us dead. His mom to flip? His dad to threaten to kill me? Or worse, Vic? They would send him away to an evil camp to try and “de-gay” him.

I finally let out a breath that I hadn’t even realized I was holding only to see a smiling Mrs. Fuentes and a pleased Mr. Fuentes.

“Well it’s about time you told us! Son, you do know we’ve known this whole time right?” Mr. Fuentes chuckled at us. Vic had his mouth slightly open in shock, he was just as surprised as I was. “You what?” I managed to finally find words.

“Oh Victor. Please of course we knew. Don’t be silly. Was that all you wanted to tell us?” Mrs. Fuentes questioned before getting up from the table.

“Well that went well!!” I heard Mike shout from the second floor.

Smiling like an idiot, Vic and I rushed up stairs. It felt so amazing not to hide everything thing from his mom and dad. Considering Id most likely be over here more. And more. I couldn’t help but smile and feel happy, that everyone was so accepting. One person though, one person wouldn’t be so accepting. But that one person doesn’t matter. My father…

Following Vic to his room he closed the door, just as I sat on his bed. I crawled to the wall and rested against it with a smile plastered firmly on my face. Vic on the other hand, he was pacing. He had completely lost his smile, from down stairs.

“Vic?” I questioned trying to gain is attention, he didn’t even pause from his pacing. He had something else on his mind. “Victor.” I demanded getting off the bed and wrapping my arms around him. “What are you thinki-…” But he cut me off.

“You lied to me Kellin.” Vic said finally stopping his pacing to look me dead in the eyes. I dropped my arms immediately from around him and stepping back.

“W-what?” I said barely audible. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. When did I lie? My mind raced to figure out what the hell I’ve done now.

“You told me you fell in the shower.” Vic said taking a step towards me. My confused face said everything so he continued. “Your eye Kells. You told me you fell in the shower. But then you told my mom you fell going down the stairs. Which is it?”

Oh my god. This can’t be happening. No this can’t happen. My mind was racing so fast to come up with…. Another lie. Another lie I could use to get out of the lie I was already in. Fuck.

“Vic, please just drop it okay? I’m fine. All is fine. Okay?” I reassured and plopped back down on his bed. God please just let him drop it.

Sitting beside me, Vic took my hands and began to run his thumb over the top of my hand. “It’s your father isn’t it?” he spoke softly.

“No” I lied to quickly. Tears streamed my face as I rethought of when my father would hit me. Cupping my cheeks in his hands, forcing me to look at him. Vic wiped the tears away and said, “He will never touch you again Kellin Quinn. Do you understand? Never. I will not let that happen.”

Pulling us up to the top of his bed, Vic and I just laid there. My head on his chest, his back to the wall. He wrapped his arms around me and all I felt was safe. I felt safe in his grasp. He wanted to protect me, but he couldn’t. My father would hurt him, and I couldn’t let that happen. When I heard the steady rising and falling of Vic’s chest, I slowly snuck out of his room to head home.

"He likes you Kellin" Mike said from his room as I left Vics room. "He likes you a lot man."

I gave Mike a smile before trotting downstairs to saying good night to Mr. and Mrs. Fuentes, I crossed my lawn and snuck up through my window. I felt like I might love Vic. But I don’t want him to get hurt when I get hurt. He wanted to protect me, and I had to protect him.