Wasting All These Tears on You

"I need her" I thought to myself. I sighed and layed down on my bed. I've been miserable since she packed up and left last night. I can't stand being alone and I wish I could have made her stay. I would do anything to get her back in my life again. Maybe I should call her and apologize.

"What the hell do you want?" A very familar voice spat at me

"Jordan? Why the hell do you have Rachael's phone?" I asked

"Because your an asshole." He said bitterly

"Look Jordan I know what I said and I regret everything that I said to her."

"Maybe if your life wasn't all about hockey and you spent some time with her you wouldn't have to regret anything!" he yelled

"I know I fucked up and I just want to talk to her." I said

"I don't think you do know Sidney. She was crying like crazy when I picked her up from the airport! And I don't want her to get hurt like an asshole like you!" He said angerly

"What part are you not understanding Jordan! I have so much pressure put on me each and every game to be the best player in the leauge! People are always com paring me to Gretzky and I get sick and tired of it Jordan! I need to be better than him to just please the whole hockey world!" I finally yelled back at him.

"See that's exactly why she left Sidney! You should marry hockey instead of anyone because no one deserves to be put second to a sport! What are you gonna do when you can't play hockey anymore? Or what happens if you have a kid while your career's still going on? Are you just gonna ignore them like you ingnored Rachael?! You don't deserve her Sidney. You think life just revolves around hockey don't you?! You don't understand that family is more important!!!!" He screamed and hung up.

Jordan just doesn't understand and he never will. This sport is my life. I've spent a lot of time with Rachael and he just doesn't realize how much time we actually spend together. The last time we were on a date was...... wait when was our last date? I finally started to realize how big of an asshole I've been. I ditched her to hang out with the guys after our last win. I'm the biggest asshole on the planet. I sighed and got ready for practice. I was dead tired and I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Rachael always came with me to practice and I was going to get a million question s from the guys today. I drove to Consol and I walked into the locker room. And got changed as fast as possible and hit the ice. I was skating around the ice and a few minutes later all the guys came out.

"Where's Rachael at?" Flower asked

"I don't want to talk about it." I muttered

"She realized that he a ass." Geno said

"How the hell do you even know what happened Geno?!?!?!" I yelled at him

"She call me today and tell me how much of an ass you are!!!!!" He boomed. "She hate you Sid!!!! You put hockey before her!!!!!!!!" he added

"What do you expect Geno?!?! I'm supposed to be at the top of the league and she needs me all at the same time!!!!!" I yelled

"You don't deserve any woman Sid!!!!!!!" Geno said angerly and skated away.

"CROSBY," Dan yelled across the rink and I skated over to him, "Ithink it would be best if you went home."

"Fine." I spat and went to the locker room and changed. I drove home and layed down in my bed and a tear trickle down my cheek. I felt cold and alone without her here