Just for a Moment

My morning passed in a bit of a blur. I spent a chunk of my morning on the phone with an antsy Vic who seems to no longer know how to work without me. The other half was spent between homework and begging Kellin not to distract me. He went from texts, to showing up at my door to singing to me. He was driving me crazy; I think he was a bit relieved when Sonia and Vic were announced as a couple. Vic admitted to screwing up way too big for us to be anything more than friends. It hurt at first but it soon faded when I was filled with the simple joy of knowing that I could still have him in my life, just differently. I mean I will always love him but I think I may have fallen for Kellin in the process of trying to heal. Not that I would ever say it out loud, not with everything being so new. Not with my fears feeling too real for words.

I stared at the golden sun rays, happy nonetheless for a day to myself and my thoughts. I hadn’t had me time in a while and I needed it. So I kicked Kellin out, not before him stealing a kiss of course. I had me to focus on. I wrote a bit of poetry, sorting out my feelings. I danced around to my favorite songs. I sang at the top of my lungs to If You Can’t Hang. I drew some pictures for Ally’s mock album music project. My morning went smoothly, giving way to afternoon faster than I had expected it too. I ate a light lunch in my room alone, before getting serious.

It was a peaceful afternoon; last week’s party was still fresh in my mind. It was such a perfect night and I spent my week floating on the cloud of its memory. I was glad for the day off from work, since I had worked over the summer; I racked up tons of days. I was lost in thought and a pile of homework trying not to lose myself in that night again. I need to keep myself on the top five, number one! Winners must practice to keep up their A game. I refocus on my homework, staring at the potential scripts for this year’s play. Determined, to once again this year, play the female lead. That’s when Roxy came running into my room on my peaceful Sunday; breathing heavy with a panicked look on her face. I looked up from my homework and stared at her, instantly feeling worried.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“He is here.” Roxy threw herself face first into my bed.

“Who?” I swiveled around in my desk chair.

“My ex boyfriend, the one I told you about.” She sounded muffled through my blanket.

“The one you swear is the love of your life?” I get up and lay down next to her, face down and all.

“Yes my sweet Brendon. He got a job here as a teacher’s aide…FOR MUSIC!” She groans. “What am I going to do? I mean I love Jonny but I haven’t seen Brandon since we broke up three years ago. What if all my feelings for him are still there, just lingering? Waiting to pounce at the last moment and stuff? What if he tries something? UGH!” She buried her face in my back.

We lay silently for a while, faces buried in my covers. I knew nothing I would say could comfort her nagging thoughts. I mean I didn’t know what the future held and with Jonny’s streak of messing up he could launch her into Brandon’s arms. If they were open to her that is. Finally she sat up and pulled out The Boy Meets World DVD box set she brought me and popped in season five. One of our very favorite seasons of the whole series. We decided to watch Boy Meets World: Torn between Two Lovers (Feeling like a Fool). I watched as Roxy went through all the emotions probably reflecting on her own life. All I knew was that Brendon had affected Roxy big time. She could barely talk about their relationship without choking up. I wondered if she needed me to keep her mind off things but her phone rang and she left to meet up with Jonny.

I sat in my room feeling bad for Roxy, finding it very hard to focus on the remaining pounds of homework. Okay, maybe not pounds but still. I rolled my eyes and decided to take a break. I pushed away my chair away from my desk wondering what to do with my life. I spun around a few times when my phone started to ring and saw I Ally’s name pop up. I smiled at her timing. I picked up the phone and Ally was crying, I could barely make out any of the words she was saying. I felt my heartbeat pick up the pace as I was trying to calm her down, to tell me where she was. Or at least what was wrong. I was glad I could make out that she was near the woods by the high hedges. I raced out of my room towards my sister, hoping that she was okay. When I got to her all I saw was a bloodied up Jack, and a sobbing Ally. I ran to her side, those three words flashing before my eyes as I reached Jack.

“What happened?!?” I tried to keep the panic out of my voice.

“I don’t know.” Ally shook her head from side to side. “A bunch of guys in masks jumped us, and they did this to Jack.”

I felt anger boiling under my surface. I looked around for clues spotting the telltale dancer major patch on the floor. I curled my hands up into fists; Max. I am sure that this was all his fault. I picked up the patch and showed it to Ally. It was like a confirmation to what she already suspected. I had to hold her down to keep her from running after them. I talked some sense into her, reminding her that if they could do this to Jack, she would be a cakewalk. Plus Jack needed her right now. That’s when Vic rounds the bend, a worried expression in his face. For one selfish moment, I remember when he brought me here to sing to me. I shook my head; this is not the time for that.

“I called the school’s emergency medical technicians, they said they would be here shortly." He went to Jack and checked his pulse. I could see from here his breathing is labored. I fought back tears from how much blood there was. “Are you okay man? Can you hear me?”

Jack groaned in response. As if on cue the rest of the group came flooding in. The reactions ranged from cries and gasps to slews of curse words. I wondered if this really was Max, or if it was him. The one who sent me the letter, the one who never seems to go away. What if they were one and the same? When Naomi put her arm around Ally, I seized the opportunity to take a few steps back. I told everyone I would be right back I just needed to check something out. Everyone was so caught up in their own emotions that they didn’t pay me any attention. I raced to my room and there on my doormat was another white envelope. I reached for it with shaky hands and opened it slowly. There are bold letters with the same three words: I AM WATCHING. It was signed your secret admirer with a heart next to it.

I cried out, but there was no one around to hear. Tears started to spill down my face as my hands trembled. Wondering for the hundredth time who this person could be. Inside the envelope were pictures of me smiling, walking, and talking with my friends. Could this really be Max? Could this all be because I punched some cheating jerk in the eye? I remembered the ill feeling I got from him in the library. The way I felt every time he came around and how that kept me from Ally’s side for so long. I turned around and across the hall was Max, a grin plastered on his face. He waved at me, winked and walked off down the hall.