Drank the Poison

I was so exhausted, but I woke up early the next day. Couldn’t sleep.

I can’t believe what happened last night. My eyes were still puffy from falling asleep crying. What in the world could have possessed Vic to do that? The more I thought about it the more devastated I felt.

I was pissed but my heart also ached like nothing I had ever felt before. Compassion and love and hate are all such extreme emotions, and feeling them all at the same time made me feel sick. I wanted to hug Vic but I also kind of wanted to punch him. That’s love I guess.

But I also couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gotten into any trouble. It wasn’t how I had pictured it, but coming out to my mom seemed to have saved me from any really punishment. She was once young and in love too, so I guess she’ll let this one time go.

I got up and deiced to take a shower. I needed to get my head on straight. As soon as I finished up, I got dressed and went to go ask my mom for a ride to Vic’s. She still had no idea about the drinking part, and I wanted to make sure that Vic was still alive and out of trouble.

I skipped down the stairs, and into the kitchen. My mom was working on a huge stack of blueberry pancakes for the two of us.

“Hey Kells” She greeted me like normal.

“Hey mom, could you give me a ride to Vic soon?” I asked nonchalantly as I sat down at the table.

“What? You seriously think I’m letting you go over there today? You’re so beyond grounded for the rest of the week. But I still love you.” She said as she served me my breakfast, and kissed the top of my head.

“No way! I thought you said you accepted who I am!” I was outraged.

“And I do Kells. But you still snuck out last night. Speaking of, were you planning on spending the whole night there? Are you and Vic sexually active?”

“MOM!”

“Do you boys even know what you’re doing? I was reading some internet articles about it and-”

“MOM!”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about Kells! Top and bottoms-”

“Jennifer I swear to God if you continue that sentence I’m never telling you anything ever again.” I threatened.

“Okay okay, just promise me you’ll be safe.”

I shot her an annoyed look and she dropped the subject. Instead she started to talk about school. Yet another topic that I didn’t want her knowing about.

I glancing down at my phone, and Vic’s name lit up the screen.

From Vic: Soooo what exactly happened last night..

I scarfed down my breakfast, thanked my mom, and ran up to my room.

To Vic: I don’t even know how to respond to that. What the hell happened Vic..

I hit send and not a minute later he was calling me.

“Kellin, I’m so so sorry. I swear to God it won’t happen again. I just wanted to party on a Saturday night. It was stupid, and I don’t remember much, but I do remember getting super sick. And I SWEAR it was a one time thing. D-did you tell anyone?” He said meekly.

“No, Vic. I didn’t.” I muttered coldly. And I wasn’t going to, I don’t want to lose him. And if he swears that it’ll never happen again, then it won’t happen again. I trust him. It’s not like he enjoyed it, so I think he’s going to be okay.

“Oh thank God, I knew I could trust you Kells.” He sounded so relieved.

“Do you know how much trouble you could have gotten in? Do you remember me sneaking out to come babysit your drunken ass?”

“Oh shit, really? You really are the best boyfriends ever.” He responded, sounding completely back to normal.

Just then I heard my mom shout from down stairs, “Kellin are you on the phone? Being rounded means no phone either! Say goodbye and bring it to me right now!”

I sighed and turned my attention back to Vic.

“Ya. I am. And I’m guessing you don’t remember my mom fucking coming home early and catching me at your place? Now I’m grounded. So ya, no phone and no seeing you starting right now till the end of the week.”

“So I’ll just pick you up after school; say you have torturing or some shit. Easy.”

He had a point. A very risky, enticing, point. And I found myself not wanting to say no. What my mom doesn’t know, won’t hurt her, right?

“Can you? What about Mike?”

“He can walk. So it’s settled! Awesome, I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you Kells.”

“Wait Vic! I also- I came out to her on the car ride home.”

“Are you serious Kellin? That’s amazing. I’m so fucking proud of you.” He sounded elated for me.

I blushed at Vic’s words. “I love you Vic.”

“I love you too Kells.”

I hung up and went back down the stairs. My mom was there waiting.

“Who was that?”

“I told Vic that I’m grounded, then I talked to a tutor that I’m going to be seeing for the next week or so right after school. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

And of course it was okay with her. It was amazing; she completely bought it and everything was perfect.

Over the next week Vic picked me up after school, and we either hung out at his place or at the park.

It was basically the same everyday. I attempted to get my work done for about an hour until I gave into Vic, and we would either bang or smoke (more him than me) till the sun went down. It was paradise just being with him.

I had become way more accustomed to Vic, and to all of our ‘extra-curricular’ activities. He was showing me what it was like to live. Whenever I was at school I would daydream about the time we spend together.

But one thing did bother me. We never actually talked. Physically, we were both attached at the hip and were always on top of each other.

But Vic seemed really distant whenever I asked him about anything personal. I had nothing to tell him about since he basically was my life. But I still have no idea how he spends his days when I’m not there. I still have no idea how he feels, or what he thinks about. But I’ve come to accept that that’s just Vic.

When Friday rolled around, I was obviously still grounded, but I made Vic swear that he’ll go to the meeting. I asked him if he’s going to say that he still has about a year of sobriety or if he was going to start over.

And not shockingly he said that he was going to lie.

Honestly it made me sad, but I understood. Having reached one year is a big deal for everyone in recovery. Soon he’ll get to celebrate his date with a cake and everything.

But one year of sobriety also means one year since Oliver’s death. I decided not to bring that up though.

Saturday I just hung out at home because Vic had some family plans or something. But now it’s Sunday morning and my mom says I can have my phone back, so my punishment’s over!

First thing I did was call Vic.

“Hey Vic guess who’s not grounded anymore!”

“All right!”

“Ya, so how was the meeting?”

“It was good, pretty normal. So, does that mean that I can come over now? I miss you.”

“I missed you too. You should come over, but my mom’s here.”

“That’s fine, I haven’t talked to her in ages. I should probably apologize to her anyway so she’ll trust you hanging out with me.”

“Well, she doesn’t seem too upset anymore, so don’t worry about it too much. I’ll see you soon?”

“Ya, I’ll be on my way in five minutes, love you.”

“Love you.”

I cleaned up my room a little bit, and told my mom that Vic was coming over soon.

Eventually there was a knock at the door, and I ran to open the door. I swung it open and Vic was there in his black skinny jeans and red flannel shirt. I had to admit he looked good.

Vic took a step forward and kissed my cheek. My cheeks turned pink, and I couldn’t hide my smile. Vic, looking accomplished, grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen where my mom was doing some dishes.

“Hey Mrs. Quinn” Vic announced as we walked hand-in-hand.

“Hello Vic, how are you?”

Vic looked at me and smiled as he squeezed my hand lovingly. “I’m doing really well. But I really wanted to apologize for having Kellin come over the other night. It was all my fault. I asked him to come over, and I take full responsibility.”

It was really nice hearing Vic talk like this. It reminded me of when I first met him. He was so confident, and so eloquent. I’m so luck to have him.

“Well, I really appreciate that Vic. And I know that in the end no one was hurt, so I guess there are no hard feelings. I just hope that now we can all be open and honest with each other. I just want you two to be happy.” She smiled softly.

“And we are.” Vic looked at my affectionately and I blushed again. It was weird being this open around my mom, but it was a good kind of weird.

“Okay, well we’re going to head up to my room and play some video games or something.” I said, trying to end the conversation before it got uncomfortable.

“Vic would you like to stay for dinner? I was thinking salmon and rice.”

“It would be my pleasure Jennifer.” Vic charmed.

After that I lead him up to my room and sat on my bed as he leaned against my door.

“Well that went better than I expected.” Vic chuckled as he locked my door. “Now, did I get a chance to tell you how fucking good that shirt looks on you?”

I looked down at my pink tank top and giggled. “Shut up.” I rolled my eyes.

Vic strutted over and suddenly pushed me onto my back before he straddled me. He leaned down and kissed me roughly. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his tongue glided over mine. Well that was nice.

He rolled his hips against mine, and I felt how excited he was getting.

“Vic my mom’s downstairs.” I put my hand on his chest and pushed him back a little.

“Then I guess we’re just going to have to be quiet.”