A Love Like War

Vic stretched and yawned; sleep masking his eyes as he shook his head awake. Fingertips scratching away at the corners of his eyes to rid of sleep, Vic smiled when he realised the day. The day he’d see Kellin… he hoped.
No, he wouldn’t even think of that. The idea of Kellin being gone wouldn’t cross his mind. It wasn’t an option.
If I die you die too. Vic thought, teeth gritting at his morbid mind.
“Huh?” Jaime suddenly spoke, turning over as he woke up. “What’d ya say?”
Vic just shook his head. “Sorry. Must be thinking out loud.”
Jaime nodded, but Vic knew Jaime thought more of it. Jaime stretched too, his stomach poking out.
“I hope I can catch a payphone out there.” Jaime said, stretching his neck as he stared off into the distance. Around the camp the rest of the soldiers awoke early as well, everyone seeming a bit more cheery about the day.
“If we’re going anywhere near civilization I’d think we’d find one.” Vic laughed, slowly getting out of his sleeping bag. “I just wish we could wear ourselves some normal clothes.”
“You really think so?” Jaime asked, grinning as he jumped up, ignoring Vic’s comment as he grabbed his own uniform. The men were instructed to keep in uniform to show respect and power to the civilians that would see them. But Vic could care less. He just wanted to wear something not stiff and not weighing him 20 pounds heavier.
“Yes, Jaime. If not I promise to hunt one down with you.”
Jaime grinned, nodding. “I just… I need to hear Jess’ voice. I want to hear about the doctor’s appointments, I need to know. What if she knows what kind of kid it’ll be? I hope it’s a little girl…Or a boy. I’d spoil her rotten and teach him how to play ball just like his dad and his Grandpa too…”
“I’m excited for you, be sure to fill me in.” Vic said, knowing regardless of his permission he would hear everything about it. But underneath, Vic was excited as well. The prospect of having a child was something exciting and foreign to Vic, but something he knew he wouldn’t get. Not without Kellin.
Kellin, Kellin, Kellin.
“Vic, Vic, Vic.” Jaime hopped, snapping fingers in Vic’s eyes. “Soon. Like a couple hours, soon. Just keep it cool.”
*
A couple hours later, Vic and Jaime both stood in front of the hall. Inside hey were promised everything they missed; phone calls home, drinking, music, friends.
Love.
Instead they both stood pensively, trying to take it all in. Vic felt as if he would break down any second, a needed a moment to compose himself. Beside him Jaime nervously hopped up and down, tapping on Vic’s shoulders for attention.
“You got this. No matter what happens, no matter who’s in here, you have me. You have Mike. Ok?” Jaime said timidly, knowing it wasn’t exactly reassuring but wanted to prepare Vic for the worst.
Vic breathed in deep, exhaling his problems. “Let’s fucking go.”
With his chin up, he walked into the hall, throwing the doors open. He reached the open bar, placing a few dollar bills on the counter.
“Bartender, two rum and coke.” Vic asked, gnawing on his lip as he surveyed the crowd. Around them were both sea men and navy, with girls around flinging themselves at those who serve the country. Or as their parents would call it, the men to bring home the bacon.
And that was the 1940’s.
“On the house for the night, sir.” The bartender grinned, gently pushing Vic’s small pile of bills back towards him. Vic raised his eyebrows but asked no question, taking one of the free drinks and gulping it back.
Moderation, moderation. He thought to himself. What would Mike think of him, coming out here and making a fool out of himself? It was worse he drank in front of his brother.
“Jaime, take this one. It’s really-“ Vic stopped when he turned around, noticing Jaime was no longer there. Instead he saw his friends head bobbing through the crowd, a payphone in his line of sight. Vic smiled to himself and took a hold of the second glass, pouring it back with a gasp. Pushing the glasses back to the bartender, he turned around to watch the crowd. So far, he had seen a few people here and there of the second tier. They arrived, but maybe not all of them yet?
It wasn’t until Vic noticed Sergeant Dawson that his stomach dropped. He was in the crowd with a friend, both with matching half sleeve tattoos, nodding their heads and talking. Taking a nervous gulp, Vic grasped onto his shoulder.
“Is Kellin…?”
Emotion tore through Dawson’s eyes and Vic felt his knees weaken. Dawson gave a ‘one minute’ gesture to his friend before pulling Vic aside and out the doors, to the nippy air outside. Not a single thought was running through Vic’s mind but pure fuzz, nothing but his eyes glassed over as he followed the bulky figure in front of him.
“He’s alive.” Dawson said, giving Vic a smile.
Air rushed out of Vic as he chuckled, somehow, and held onto his stomach. He still wasn’t sure if he recovered from the scare, but was immensely relieved. If Kellin died under instruction of his father’s crew, Vic would have been out for blood in a minute.
“So, where is he?” Vic said, shaking his head. Why would he scare him like that if he was here?
“He’s a bit under the weather… he got hurt on the field, and the nurse says he’s gotten pneumonia.”
Vic gulped, gritting his teeth. He’d witnessed men die firsthand from pneumonia, he could hear their teeth and bones chatter at night under pounds of blankets as their fragile bodies could no longer supply the heat they needed to survive. There in the trench, men’s eyes stayed glued open up towards the sky as if watching a power above swoop down to pull them into their heaven.
“Take me there.”
With a curt nod, Dawson took Vic’s wrist and headed downward. They walked in silence for a few minutes until the glowing sign of the hostel was in view a distance away.
“You know, I can tell what’s going on.” Dawson said, eyes still glued ahead.
Vic, brushing off the comment, simply rolled his eyes. “Yeah, about what?”
“You and Kellin of course. Friends don’t whimper friend’s names in their sleep when they’re sick as a dog.”
Vic stopped in his tracks, Rian continuing to walk forward before realising he left him behind. He turned around and jogged in seconds back to the spot where Vic stood frozen.
“I’m not going to tattle on you. I think it’s a really nice thing, honestly. No animosity over it, I knew something was different about Kellin before he opened his mouth.” Rian spoke honestly, reassuring Vic’s frantic feelings. Tonight was plenty rollercoaster emotions for Vic and he wasn’t sure if he could handle one more. “You, a bit more surprising. But a good surprising.”
“Uh, th-thanks. No one else knows, correct?”
Rian shook his head. His eyes trailed, lost in thought of the consequence of his friends if news of their relationship got out. The whole team would see them as abominations, no longer a part of the field. He’d seen it firsthand himself when his best friend was removed from the training squad for writing a letter to his boy back home. For that, Rian was a romantic.
Entering the hostel, Rian led Vic up a small flight of stairs to the second door. A little ways down the hallway, Rian paused with a key in hand.
“Be gentle with him.”
“I know,” Vic said quietly. “And thank you, Rian.”