The Only Thing I Ask

He knocked, for the hundredth times. Still, nobody answered. He tried calling again, still went into voicemail. He was wet all over, drenched from the rain. He didn’t care about his spiky-now-turned sloppy and messy hair. He had to see her. He didn’t want to lose her.

He was so angry at Maya for turning him into an asshole in front of the girl he loves. Angry wasn’t even how he would put it. He was fuming and raging, he could turn green. He regretted calling Michelle out. Hell, he regretted everything.

He wished he didn’t come back here, at Michelle’s place yesterday.

He regretted kissing her for the first time behind the amplifiers at their New York concert.

He would turn back time and just be cold with her, wishing he didn’t fall for her.

So that she wouldn’t be hurt like this. She didn’t have to deal with his issue, but he couldn’t help but drag her into it. Brian grabbed his wet hair and pulled them in a complete frustration.

“Michelle, where the fuck are you?!” he yelled out. Then suddenly his phone rang. It was Matthew, worried sick.
“Yo, Syn! You ever thinking of coming here, dude?”
Oh right, he forgot about the meeting.
“I-I’m on my way. Is Valerie there?”
“Yeah, why?”
He hung up, got into his car and drove off.

********************************************************************************

Michelle walked along the beach for almost an hour now. It was dark as hell, but she didn’t care. When she finally got tired of walking, she found an abandoned bench and settled herself there. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her tears already dried out from crying so much.

Maybe this was the reason to why Brian didn’t tell her that he loves her too. It’s because he doesn’t. He was about to say something back there before that bitch pulled him into a kiss.

“This is Maya. My-”

His what? His long-distance girlfriend? His fiancee? His fucking wife?! Michelle buried her face in her palms. Can’t believe she fell for it again. Love for rock stars. Always end up the same way. At times like these, she remembered everything that she refused to, long time ago. Some memories that stored and locked away in the back of her head suddenly emerged tonight.

Six years ago, she was living the dream. Working in her dream job, fell in love with a famous rock star, and everything was perfect.

She was a marketing agent for My Chemical Romance, a band so popular back then that they were trending everything. From hairstyles to make-up, everybody was copying them. Michelle was a sucker for rock bands, she fell in love with Gerard Way, the leader of the band. Just like the situation Valerie’s in now.

For three years she dated Gerard secretly, without the press or even her boss knowing. Gerard wasn’t exactly all lovey-dovey towards her but he kept her on hook. Until one day she had to find out about his girlfriend-turned-fiancee on some website that she stumbled on. It was horrible but she dealt with it calmly. Only Valerie and her flatmate knew she dated Gerard at the time. After that she’d done rooting for rockbands and fell out of love with them. She quit her dream job and moved to Huntington Beach with Valerie, started anew.

Meeting Brian brought up unusual feelings in her. No matter how much she avoided and kept telling herself he was a jerk, she couldn’t lie. She fell really hard for Brian.

And now…the history repeats itself.

Michelle finally walked back to her car and it took her another hour to get there. On the way, she turned on her phone and too many messaages came up that her inbox were actually full. All of it came from Brian. She deleted them all without listening to any of it. She just couldn’t bear to have him broke her heart again.

When she finally reached her car, she drove back to her house, fortunately Brian or even Valerie wasn’t there. So she packed her clothes and ran away. She needed some space to really think about this. Ironically, in her car stereo, her only Avenged Sevenfold CD, City of Evil blasted a song called Betrayed. She drove on listening to that song.

Only the first part fitted through her story. She wondered mindlessly what were they thinking when they wrote this song.

She drove on and on, not knowing where to go. But she ended up somewhere familiar.

*******************************************************************************************************

“Was it raining?” is the first thing Johnny asked when Brian came into the office where they held the meeting. He looked frantic. His eyes searched for Valerie, who sat beside Matthew, frowning at him.

“Ah, how nice of you to join us, Mr Gates. Have a seat.” The director smiled at him, pointed to an empty chair. Brian did what he was told to, but he was screaming internally. Desperate to speak to Valerie. He wanted Valerie to find Michelle and talk to her. He was on the verge of spilling everything to them tonight.

Brian rubbed his face with both of his palms and buried them in it. He wasn’t listening to a word they said until Jimmy nudged him.

“Hey, you okay Syn?” Jimmy whispered.
He looked over at his best friend. The only friend that knew he was dating Michelle. He’d told him when they were touring Asia. He told Jimmy everything.
He nodded to the question. But his face suggested otherwise.
“What happen between you and…you know who?”
Brian stared at Jimmy, his eyes drooped down into a sad expression.
“I’ll tell you later.”

After they had done discussing and on their way to get a drink, Brian rushed over to Valerie.
“Hey, Val. Can you call Michelle?”
“Oh yeah, she said that she wanted to come tonight. I wonder what’s keeping her.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just call her.”
Valerie frowned at him but still dialing Michelle’s number.
“Hello? Michelle?”
Brian’s eyes lit up, when Michelle answered Valerie’s call.
“Why didn’t you come? Where are you?”
Brian was eager as hell, he snatched the phone away from Valerie’s hand.
“Hello? Michelle? It’s me, Brian.”
Suddenly the line went dead. She hung up right after she heard his voice.
“Fuck!” he swore at the phone.
“Hey! That’s my phone. Give it back! Are you two fighting again? What now? You screamed at her like last time?” Valerie attacked him suddenly, while grabbing her phone back. All of Avenged Sevenfold members stopped walking and turned to look at them.
“No…you don’t fucking understand…”
“What don’t I understand, Syn? Please, enlighten me! It seems you two keep fighting and she kept locking herself in her room! What have you done this time, Syn?”

Brian closed his eyes. It’s enough that he made her cry last time. This time she was sure hurt as hell.
“Did she..really…cry last time?”
“Hell yeah! She didn’t cry in front of me, but I could hear her every night!”
Brian rubbed his face. His palms rested on top of his head after that. Michelle told him she wasn’t crying. Of course she lied.
“Dude, what happened?” Matthew suddenly stepped up, curiously.
“Yeah, you were meeting that bitch earlier. What does this have to do with Michelle?”
All the other members were curious. Including Jimmy. He loved Michelle, he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
Brian looked at each of them, taking his time to really answer.

“That bitch, is history. But Michelle…I’m in love with her.” He admitted finally.
“WHAT?” All of them yelled. Except for Jimmy. When he saw everyone was jaw dropped and stunned, he continued to act surprise.
“What?!” he acted, but failed at it.
“Jimmy, you knew about this?” Zacky asked.
“What? No…! Yeah.”
“How??”
“I forced it out of him. He was smiling at his amps for fuck’s sake.”
Everyone sneered at Brian.
“Good for you, Syn! I knew you’d come around!”
“I knew it! I knew it!” Matthew and Valerie hugged in happiness, and they still didn’t realize the bigger problem here was Michelle and Brian really did fight.
“I’m so gonna hug her dude!” Zacky added. “But, what happen to that bitch?”
“Who? What bitch?” Valerie asked.
“Maya.” All four of them replied in unison. Brian then spilled everything. From the point where he wanted to grant Maya’s final request to Michelle saw everything.
“THAT BITCH.” Valerie raged.

******************************************************************************************************

Michelle rang the doorbell. A short moment later, someone came running to the door.
“Yes?”
She looked up to the voice.
“Michelle? Is that you?”
Stood in front of her now, her old friend, Leana Macfadden. She hadn’t seen her for almost 6 years. The last time they met was when Valerie and her moved from Glendale to Huntington Beach. Leana was her flatmate when she was working with MCR. And she knew about Gerard too.

Leana pulled her into a tight hug. Longing to comfort her old friend after she was broken hearted with Gerard, but was 6 years too late.
“How are you, Chelle?”
Michelle tightened her embrace even more. Her puffy eyes were now sore and she couldn’t see clearly.
“There, there.” Leana patted her back. Her eyes dropped down to a medium-sized suitcase behind Michelle, and she pulled apart.
“Where are you going?”
Michelle looked down at her feet. “I dunno.”
“Oh, Chelle. What happened? Come in first, then tell me everything.”

She pulled Michelle into the apartment and dragged the suitcase for her. Michelle wasn’t ready to tell her about Brian yet. They’ve just reunited, and she couldn’t bear to be a burden to her. Plus, this apartment held so many memories of her and Gerard too. She kept bringing him over when they were dating and that’s how Leana knew. Leana didn’t like rock bands anyway so she didn’t give a damn about who she was dating.

But Michelle really needed a place to stay. A place to run away.
“Lea, I-I don’t know how to say this. But…I really need a place to stay.”
“Of course you’re welcome to stay here, honey. This is your apartment too. We got it together, remember?”

Michelle smiled weakly. They did find this apartment together. Eventhough at the time they didn’t really know each other, but they happened to found a perfect apartment at the same time and instead of fighting about who got it first, they just shared it and became flatmates.

“Do you live here alone?”
Leana shrugged. “Well, I can’t find any flatmates as fun as you, so.”
Michelle chuckled. “What about boyfriends?”
“Hey, you made it sound like I have a lot!” She smacked her softly on her arm. How Michelle missed being with this girl.
“Don’t tell me you’re still single?”

Leana shrugged again. Then suddenly a voice came through a closed room, but it sounded so clear beside Michelle’s ear. After a moment she realized that there was a baby monitor on the end table beside her, and the voice belonged to a baby cooing.

Her eyes widened, stared at Leana.

“Excuse me for a moment.” Leana stood up and vanished into the hallway. Michelle thought hard. She’s married? But there wasn’t any sign of her husband anywhere. Michelle started to feel guilty for coming here. Her husband might not welcome her.

She stood up, ready to leave, but then she heard Leana’s voice singing to her baby from behind the half-opened door. Michelle always liked her voice. Always put her to sleep. Without realizing she walked through the hallway and peeked inside the baby room.

“Hush little baby don’t say a word, mommy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird…” Leana sang to her baby.

That blessed moment made Michelle forgot what she really came for tonight. She wanted to know about her old friend more rather than spill out her own problems to her.

Leana turned and saw Michelle was standing beside her door. She put up one finger to her lips, settled her child inside the crib and pulled Michelle away from there.

“You’re married?”
Michelle asked, eagerly when they finally sat down on a couch in the living room.
“No. I’m a single mom. Jude left me.”
“Jude?”
“Well, a guy I met not long after you were gone.”
“He left you, why?” Michelle was afraid that Leana might have experienced the same situation as she was. Men and their inability to be satisfied with just one woman!

“He died.”

Michelle’s mouth opened wide. She was rendered speechless, and kept cursing herself inside her mind for judging too early.

“Well, it was his occupational hazard. He warned me so many times, but I just can’t help but falling in love with him.”
No words were coming out of Michelle’s mouth. She couldn’t imagine how she would be if Brian had gone. Part of her wanted to forgive him and take him back so badly, but another part has had enough.
“He was a SWAT. He got shot on duty. On the day I gave birth to Zoey.”
“Zoey.”
“Yes, my daughter.”
“She’s beautiful, Lea.” Then Michelle pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”
Leana smiled sweetly when she parted. She missed this old friend, so much that after that they just catch up things from 6 years after Michelle left.
******************************************************************************************************

“THAT BITCH.”
Valerie kept saying those words. Even after Brian had told them everything.
“What were you thinking? Introducing your ex-girlfriend to your current one? Are you out of your fucking mind?” Valerie being the only female species there, nagged at Brian. He just blinked at her.
“Where is she now? I want to kick her in the nuts so bad!” she added.
“Er, Val. Girls don’t have nuts.” Johnny innocently said this.
“It was a figure of speech Johnny. Syn, I’m gonna bring you to Michelle right now, and you have to explain everything to her.”

Brian agreed at first. But then he hesitated. He’d thought about how he made her cry last time. He didn’t want to make her cry again. He shouldn’t beg for second chances, he didn’t deserve it. He already had that second chance, and within a day, he lost it again.

“No, Val. I shouldn’t, I couldn’t.”
“What? What are you talking about? It’s not your fucking fault! I’m sure Michelle would understand that.”
“No. It’s enough. I don’t deserve her. She doesn’t have to deal with me.”

Brian walked away towards his car, started the engine and drove off.

“Wait, Syn!” All of them called, but it was too late. Brian’s thick brick wall has been built again.
“Guys, we’re not drinking tonight. We gotta find Michelle and help them fix this.”
“Uh, are we going to be late? I kinda have a date tomorrow, so..” Zacky asked, awkwardly out of nowhere. All of their attention were now on Zacky.
“What? A date? You didn’t tell us anything did you!” Johnny slapped his shoulder hard and he flinched.
“Ouch! Damn it, Johnny!”
“Way to go buddy! Who is she?”
Zacky smiled silly, his cheeks flushed. “A reporter.”
“Wow, that is so Clark Kent!” Jimmy fist-bumped with him.

“Guys, we have a bigger problem here.” Matthew cut them off suddenly. “As much as I am happy for you Zacky, but we gotta deal with this.”

They eventually agreed, Zacky too reluctantly, and soon they were on their way to Valerie’s place.