Oh, Saint Nick

Evelyn hung on tightly to my hand as we wormed our way through the large crowd of people. She was cautious but I can feel the excitement buzzing inside her nevertheless. There were more people out here then I expected, the cold hadn’t kept everyone away.

“‘Onah!” I followed to where Evelyn was pointing until we reached Mason and Jonah standing in an area full of chairs placed no too far away from the stage.

“Hey you guys.” Mason grinned and put Jonah on the ground so he could run to Evelyn. “How was work love?” Mason greeted me, placing a kiss on my cheek. I smiled back and placed both Evelyn’s bags and mine on the chair he offered me.

“Where is everyone?” I asked glancing around.

“Uh some aren’t here yet, Dylan and Spencer went to get a drink right now though.” I nodded and glanced around at everyone.

“I didn’t realise how busy it would be.” I admitted to him. I had never come to a large outdoor celebration since living here. Apparently the carols by candlelight were extremely popular in the town. Evelyn had said she had never gone with Ethan or Erin, which surprised me; it seemed like their thing to do.

“Hey Emma.” Dylan pulled me into a hug; I squeezed back and accepted a kiss on the cheek before greeting Spencer and introducing him to Evelyn. She hung tightly onto Jonah but otherwise she seemed happy to meet someone new. Jonah seemed to already know him, clambering onto his lap when he sat down on the blanket to play with them both. Evelyn took a bit longer but eventually sat down next to him and grabbed the blocks that had been spread on the ground.

I sat down next to Mason once I was satisfied with Evelyn and fell into conversation with he and Dylan.

“Have you heard anything from Jacquie lately?” Dylan asked softly so Evelyn couldn’t hear. I shook my head.

“She’s called a couple times since the last meeting but I haven’t answered the phone. Hopefully she will wait until after Christmas before starting anything.” I sighed and fell back into the seat, exhaustion slipping over me. It had been a long month already and Christmas wasn’t even here yet.

“What are you going to do after Christmas?” Mason asked curiously.

“Mum wants me to go back home. To Australia.” I told them both, I could feel their shock as they watched me disbelieving. “I haven’t decided what to do yet but it would be easier.” I admitted to them. Mason looked like he was about to argue until Dylan nudged him. They both went quiet, I felt terrible for a part of me wanting to leave them. But they had already done so much for me and it wasn’t fair that I always relied upon them. “I haven’t decided okay? Who knows what will happen after Christmas. I just want to enjoy the next couple of weeks first.”

It went silent between the three of us and it became stifling. I wanted to walk around and get some space to clear my head.

“I’m going to get a drink. You right to look after her?” Mason nodded so I told Evelyn before weaving my way through the crowd and chairs that had been placed haphazardly everywhere. Kids were still running around but most adults were sitting down with friends and family. It was a loud and joyful affair. Most people seemed to know each other, constantly stopping by each other to talk. There was a sense of belonging among everyone, which only made me feel that much more alone. How could Evelyn and I fit in amongst these people? I wanted Evelyn to belong here to have a home and a family but I didn’t know how to give her that family when it was just me. But if we went back home we would have so much, I could give her what I grew up with.

I ordered a drink for us both before making my way back through everyone when I ran into Nell and Logan, holding hands. I blinked at them in surprise; Nell blushed a bright red while Logan just looked proud.

“And how long has this been going on?” I teased them both.

“Uh well actually this is our second date.” Logan grinned, pulling Nell closer to him. I laughed at her pleased smile.

“No making out on the counter at work, or the back room.” I warned them, moving away and letting them get on with their date. I made a mental note to se if Nicky or Tallulah new about either of them.

I got a little lose on the way back to our area, the crowds had placed themselves closer together this time and I couldn’t remember where exactly we were sitting. Finally, I spotted a much larger group surrounding the chairs and blankets that had been set up. I could see Helen and Oliver who was currently holding Evelyn on his shoulders so she could look out over everyone’s heads. I laughed at the loud giggles that I could hear from here. She seemed to have really bonded with Oliver since yesterday. Mason and Dylan were there chatting to a girl I didn’t know who had Jonah on her hip. There was another little girl and two older boys running around amongst everyone’s legs.

Bree waved to me when she saw me get closer while continuing her conversation with two boys I didn’t know. I did notice Harry’s Mum, Anne, sitting in the seat with a small baby wrapped up in her arms while an older lady white-haired lady sat next to her, blanket wrapped tight.

By the time I found Harry he was already worming his way towards me, a bright smile on his face.

“There you are.” He greeted happily, wrapping an arm around my waist and pressing a kiss to my cheek. I squeaked in surprise and glanced towards his Mum who had seen us. She just smiled and winked before continuing to talk with the older lady. “Evie’s been searching for you.” He pointed at Evelyn who still sat high up on Oliver’s shoulders.

“Hey sweetie, you wanna come down?” I called up to her; she looked over and almost toppled off Oliver’s shoulders if he didn’t have a tight grip on her.

“Found her first, Olli.” She yelled, punching the air. Oliver laughed and pulled her down onto her feet. I shot Oliver a smile before bending down to give her the hot chocolate I had bought. It had cooled down enough during the walk back to be warm for her to drink.

“You have to sit and drink it before you can play.” I warned her; pulling her down into my lap onto the seat I had left our stuff on. Harry took the seat beside us. I glanced around while Evelyn wiggled in my lap to get comfortable.

“That’s my Grandma by the way, the lady talking to my Mum.” Harry pointed to the white haired lady sitting next to Ann. “And the baby my Mum has is, Lexi, my cousins daughter.” Harry pointed to a girl who I hadn’t seen earlier take a seat next to Ann; she had a baby bottle with her. “That’s her Mum, Rhiannon and her husband is over there, Derek with their twin boys as well, Joshua and Jackson.” I followed Harry as he pointed to each person individually. “The other little girl is Hannah, she’s our next door neighbours kiss, and there other daughter was sick tonight so Mum offered to take her.” I nodded and tried to keep up with whom everyone was. “Oh and the girl talking to Mason and Dylan is my sister Gemma.”

When I looked over Gemma had stopped talking to both Mason and Dylan and was instead watching us. I smiled sheepishly earning one in return before she made her way over. Harry groaned softly from next to me. I shot him a confused look.

“Whatever she says about me just ignore her,” I laughed at the terror on Harry’s face. “I’m serious.” He continued just before Gemma stopped in front of us, Evelyn glanced up at her curiously.

“Gem this is Emmalyn, Em my sister.” He waved his hand between us. “And this is Evelyn, Em’s niece.” He added quickly.

“Hi,” I smiled up at her, bouncing Evelyn in my lap lightly, glad that I had something to distract myself in case this got awkward fast.

“Hello, I finally get to meet you.” She smiled widely and knelt down in front of me to greet Evelyn better. “And aren’t you adorable.” She smiled but I couldn’t see Evelyn’s reaction to her, though she stayed silent.

“She looks a little bit like you.” Gemma commented, looking between us both. I looked back, surprised.

“Really? Her Mum, Erin, used to get so annoyed that people always thought she looked like her Dad, no one ever said she looked like Erin or me. It used to drive her mad.” I stared in shock at Gemma after what I said sunk in. I gripped Evelyn’s arm a little tighter, shocked by how easy it was to chat about Erin and Ethan, I hadn’t realised I was even able to talk so calmly about that without feeling the need to vomit.

Harry grabbed my hand from Evelyn’s arm after she started to shift away from it, I realised that I might have been holding her too hard, so I let go in favour of Harry’s hand instead. Gemma watched our movements before smiling softly at me.

“Aunty Emmy can I go play now? I finished.” She held up her now empty cup. I grabbed it off her and made her wait until I wiped her mouth before letting her go, insisting that she keep her scarf with her. Gemma had stepped out of the way and taken the spare seat on Harry’s left.

“You’re good with her, how long since you’ve been looking after her?” I looked at Gemma while Harry turned to glare at his sister.

“Gem!”

“This will be the fifth money.” I told her, she looked surprised. “I had a lot of experience looking after her before… before everything so I did have some clue how to look after her.” Harry’s hand in mine was a comforting assurance while I chatted with Gemma. She asked a few questioned about Erin and Ethan, where they lived, what they did for work but either by Harry’s glares or my stutters she stopped asking questions about them and kept to other topics.

“So what are you doing Christmas Day?” She asked me after Harry snapped at her for the third time about invasive questions. She just ignored him and stayed focus on me. I felt a little like I was passing a test and I wasn’t quite sure how well I was doing.

“Um well it will just be me and Evelyn so I’ll probably just make our favourite foods, unwrap presents and probably just stay in the apartment together. We don’t need to visit a lot of people or anything, although her grandparents on her Dad’s side will probably want to visit.” I told her realising I hadn’t put much thought into Christmas Day yet.

“What about your parents?” Gemma continued to push. I shrugged.

“They’re back home in Australia. I didn’t really want to leave here for Christmas when we’re still trying to settle and I didn’t want to burden them by asking for them to come here.” She nodded in understanding while Harry stayed silent between us until someone called for him. Spencer and Bree were waving him over. Harry seemed torn for a second, looking between them and us.

“Oh go on Haz. I’ll stop torturing the girl.” Gemma pushed her brother out of his chair and then took it for herself. “I really don’t mean to torture you with questions but…”

“You’re testing me.” I answered taking Gemma by surprise. “It’s okay, I would be doing exactly the same if my brother was a international Popstar. “ I told her honestly. She smiled and glanced over towards him.

“He’s also a complete idiot who sucks at choosing girls. Although maybe he might have made one good choice lately.” I blushed under her gaze and searched for Evelyn amongst everyone. She was playing with toys that had been spread across a blanket with the twin boys.

“She’s amazing.” Gemma complimented when she saw where I was looking. Evelyn looked over at us and waved excitedly before going back to playing. I smiled softly and agreed.

“She was the best thing that happened to my sister.” I told Gemma, remembering Erin constantly telling me this throughout the time she was carrying her. It was the most I had ever seen her so sentimental and emotional.

“I’m really sorry about them. I remember seeing the car crash on the news.” I looked at Gemma shocked wondering how she new. “Mum recognised your last name and the news had talked about a young girl being orphaned to stay with her Aunt she kind of just put two and two together.” Gemma continued, quickly explaining.

“Does uh Harry know about the news?” I gestured randomly and Gemma quickly shook her head.

“No, well I don’t think so. He hasn’t said anything to me or Mum so no.” I nodded at her, biting my lip.

“It was pretty bad.” I said slowly. I felt comfortable with Gemma and this didn’t seem as hard as I thought it would be. “I haven’t told Evie about it yet.” I thought back to the pictures she had drawn and the shoes and watch in her wardrobe.

“Mason and Dylan were telling me before about how amazing you are with Evelyn.” Gemma said gently, laying her hand on my arm. I smiled at her warmly receiving one in return.

“Gemma you should stop hogging Emmalyn.” Ann pulled our attention to us as she and Harry’s cousin Rhiannon moved over to us with baby Lexi. Harry’s grandma was nowhere to be seen.

“Emmalyn this is Rhiannon and this little on is Lexi.” I said hi and cooed at cute little Lexi with her small button nose, her beanie was so big it almost covered up her eyes.

“Is Evelyn named for you? Emmalyn, Evelyn?” Rhiannon asked curiously. I smiled and shook my head.

“No I actually think that part was a coincidence but it’s a tradition in my family for all the girls names to start with E. My sister’s name was Erin my Mum’s name is Eloise and my Grandma’s name is Ellen and it goes on for ages if you look at our family tree.” I told her honestly.

“That’s so cool.” She complimented taking the seat on my right.

“Yeah my sister was stoked when she got with her husband since his name was Ethan. I’m pretty sure if she would have had more kids she would have had E’s no matter what gender. She even named her café ‘Letter E’” Baby Lexi began to cry in Ann’s arms, she rocked her from side to side, shushing her. I glanced at Rhiannon for a moment and hesitated.

“Ah could I maybe hold her?” I asked itching to hold a small baby again. The last one I had held that little would have been when Evelyn was that age. Ann looked to Rhiannon who nodded. I stood up and took the sniffling Lexi, cooing and rocking her in my arms. I adjust her so her head resting on my shoulder and she could look out into the crowds of people while rubbing her back. She calmed down enough that she no longer cried. Gemma, Ann and Rhiannon watched me, surprised.

“You’re good at that.” Ann commented obviously not expecting me to be so good with a child this young.

“I did help raise one.” I gestured over to Evelyn. “I got a lot of practice helping Erin. My sister was never one for patience.” I enlightened them both. Sometimes it felt like I talked too much about Erin but it felt too good to worry me.

There was a commotion by the kids that distracted everyone. Evelyn was jumping up and down with the two twin boys, Jonah and the young girl; Hannah soon joined them as they all excitedly whispered. I watched confused until a large man in a Santa’s outfit appeared, walking between everyone. I knew straight away which Santa this was.

Harry was by my side, shooting me an amused look while I sighed resigned. Moving towards Evelyn, I made sure she didn’t run off until Santa at least got closer.

“Hello dear Evelyn, I see you have some friends with you today.” I saw a few adults share weird looks as Santa listed off each of their names. I frowned at Harry, confused.

“Oh and look an even smaller one that Miss Emmalyn is holding. Well isn’t Lexi growing up so fast.” Santa approached and shot me a wink. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Santa.” I greeted.

“Nick.” Harry said in turn. He looked at us both amused while Evelyn clutched onto his hand tightly.

“Well don’t you four make an adorable little family.” I widened my eyes in shock while Santa just patted Evelyn’s hair and moved away. Evelyn grinned at Harry and I happily like this was what she had wanted all along. Harry was silent next to me like he was trying to figure something out.

“If you come up with some reasoning as to why he knew those kids names, I don’t want to hear it.” I told him. “Please don’t ruin tonight with all that.” Harry rolled his eyes at me but conceded. That’s when I realised that I had walked away from Rhiannon with her own baby. I glanced around for her ready to apologise when I realised that she was talking to her husband, neither of them seemed worried that I still had Lexi. I stood there shocked before letting Harry lead me over back to my seat; the carols were starting. Ann sat in the seat beside me with Gemma next to her. Soon enough Mason sat on my other side while Harry took up the space between my legs on the ground.

Evelyn ambled over not long after and I worried for a moment where she would sit when she just threw herself into Harry’s lap on the ground neither of them worried or were hesitant. Harry just patted her hair down, placed a kiss to her head before wrapping her up in the blanket with him. Ann handed me one for both the baby and me. I sat there stunned and yet content as Harry occasionally glanced back at me to smile or would gently rub his cheek against the top of Evelyn’s hair. It was all very domestic and family filled.

I realised how much Harry had given me in the short amount of time we had known each other. He was giving me a family and Evelyn too. We were surrounding by people that knew us, that like us even some that loved us. I smiled as Mason wrapped an arm around my shoulder; Dylan and Jonah were at his feet.

Despite the cold I felt warmth to the tips of my toes. I felt home.