Fifty-Two

Kimmy was instantly asking questions as I came in the door. I was in my own world though and there, there was no time or need to tell her a thing. It was just me and him, a thin blanket of safety and hope that was growing thicker and thinker and a perfect night.

I didn’t acknowledge her at all as I climbed to the second floor and practically floated down the hall to my room. I found myself sitting on my fluffy white carpet in the far corner of my room, my journal opened to a blank page and a pen in my hand.

When I first compiled a list of things I wanted to do before I died, I never really expected to do any of it. I thought it would just be this mental list that no one would ever read, ever see and I would soon fade away and the list would follow. It would be buried with me six feet under.

But when I told Louis about my cancer and he didn’t run, I had this tingle of hope, a small spark and here I was, writing the list down, all eighty-six items and as I did, I crossed out the ones I completed. I was down five, leaving eighty-one things to do with those I cared for. And with any hope, they would find the list as my memory started going, while I lie in bed, trying to fight for the last breath and they would do anything they could to cross off something, anything.

“Lydia, this isn’t nice. I want the juice.” Kimmy said outside my closed door.

I smiled and tucked the journal back under the piece of carpet I had pulled up and placed my lamp over it. “You had your own date, think about that.”

“I didn’t have much of a date.” She said, opening the door as I sat on the bed. “We met up at a restaurant and didn’t even go in to eat. He showed me to his caveman car and we went to his dump of a house where he tried to get laid. He was a ‘true gentleman’ when he dropped me off, tossing my ass out of the car without a single word.” She flopped herself on my bed and sighed. “Now, Miss. Happyface, I want all the details.”

“I told him.” She had a slight look of sadness before perking up. “I actually got sick and was going to call you, but he called his mom and made me tea. We ate dinner with his friends and he drove me home.”

“How many numbers did you check off besides the three I already know?”

I held up a finger and smiled. “He gave me the whole box of tea and asked to see me again tomorrow, with you.”

She sat up and hugged me, “I’m glad to see you happy, Lyds. But don’t let yourself fall too quickly again, okay? Remember what happened last time.”

I sighed not wanting to think about the bastard. My last boyfriend decided to try and get as far as he could, he’d buy me things and make me laugh. He had me believing he loved me and I was so far deep at this point that I almost gave him my virginity. But when I didn’t he was gone in a flash. Before I could even blink, he had broken my heart. That was about seven months ago and it was hard to get over it, but Louis was…. “He’s a great guy, Kim.”

“If he hurts you, even just a little, I’m going to kill him.”

“I know you will.”

“You better. I will fillet him and feed him to his friends.”

“Stop.”

“Gut him with a spoon.”

“Kimmy, gross! Shut up!” I laughed and so did she.

She crawled up to the top of the bed and curled up under the covers. “His friends were cute; do you think I could land one?” She asked, pulling me down with her.

“I’m sure you will. But if they hurt you, I’ll fillet them with a spoon.”

Kim smiled at me and closed her eyes. “Best friends until the end of time. You better haunt the shit out of me.”

I closed my eyes and curled up against her. “I will, promise.” And before I had the chance to laugh, I was drifting into a deep sleep.

Apparently the morning came and went before Kim could get me up. I had a habit of sleeping more than I needed, ignoring alarms, people; anything that tried to interrupt me. It was pretty bad. I’d missed multiple appointments because of it. Kim had pulled out a change of clothes for me and left them on my desk.

I yawned and checked my phone, finding an eager text from Louis. Your friend agree to come?

I stretched before replying. she said only if u bring 1 of ur single friends I sent the message, set the phone down and changed into the tank top, jeans and cami that were on my desk. I shuffled to my mirror and whined as I looked at my raccoon eyes and messy dark blond hair. “Kimmy!” I called, taking a brush to the tangled mess. “Kim.” I whined more, making my head feel like it was vibrating and causing a horrible headache to get worse. “Aleve!” I yelled.

My phone lit up as Kimmy started up the stairs. I could bring 4. But take your pick, you know your friend better than I do.

“Sorry, I was making lunch. Here.” She handed me a glass of water and two Aleve.

“Pick one of the guys you saw yesterday.” I mumbled after swallowing the pills. “Which one did you find more attractive?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Who was the one with the scruff and tattoos down his arm?”

I hit reply, zane. “His name is Zayn. He’s nice.”

“Does he have an accent too?” I looked down at my phone. Zayn it is. We’ll pick you guys up at 5. See you later, beautiful. I was probably blushing at this point. I couldn’t even remember the question she asked me.