The Poison in Your Blood

It’s been a month since I last went to see Blair. Anna goes occasionally to visit her, but she says Blair’s motivation is less and less every time. I can’t bring myself to go back there and look at a woman I love so much in such a poor state. So I’ve buried myself in wedding planning. I’ve got the venue all figured out on the beach and for the reception and I’ve got cake and catering figured out. Let me tell you, it’s a pain in the balls to plan an international wedding.

I am sitting on the sofa in the living room looking through a magazine for ideas on napkins and shit when my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see that it is Annalise. “What’s up, babe?” I say when I answer the phone.

“We have a problem, Lana,” she says.

“What kind of problem?” I ask, my heart caught in my throat. She went to visit with Blair this morning and I’m instantly preparing myself for the worst.

“You have to come down here,” she says. “Brad is here.”

“Fuck,” I say. I let out a sigh of both relief and frustration and I look up at the clock in the living room. “Okay, I’ll be there in like ten minutes.” I hang up and close up my books and go up the stairs to change my clothes. As soon as I walk in Austin turns his attention away from what he’s doing on his laptop and gives me a look of concern.

“You smell wrong,” he says. “What happened?”

“My brother is at the rehab center…it can’t be anything good. He only ever shows up to cause drama. He was in London doing some kind of stupid…charity thing. He only does all that so he can act like he’s wonderful.”

I go into the closet and pull on a pair of jeans, a bra, and a flannel shirt over my plain white t-shirt jacket style, before fixing my pony tail and coming out of the closet. Austin is standing up now and he’s dressed. I look at him with relief.

“I’ll come with you,” he says. “We’ll take the Corvette.”

“Brad will love that,” I say and laugh lightly.

We end up at the rehab center 15 minutes after Anna called me, and I walk in quickly. Austin comes behind me, looking protective. I rush through check in and get my sticker and Austin slips his arm around my waist.

“Relax, Lana,” he says and I can suddenly smell his scent and I have to admit I’m grateful for it.

We walk into Blair’s room and sure enough, Brad is there, looking like the same douche he’s always been. After the first year or so of me living with him he finally tolerated me, but he never really accepted me or Annalise. He’s standing next to Blair’s bed while Anna sits in a chair in the corner with Josh and Blair sits on her bed.

“Lana! So good to see that you still look like the grungy 15 year old that came into my life and ruined it,” he says in a cherry sweet voice. “Who is this? Your new adoptive father?”

“I’m her husband,” Austin says.

“Husband, parent, doesn’t matter so long as Lana is taken care of,” Brad says. His implication is that I’m some kind of gold digger. This pisses me off.

“What do you want, Brad?”

“First I’d like to know why my mother tried to kill herself,” he snaps.

My heart beat raises and I feel myself start to sweat. I don’t know if I can tell him. I don’t know if it will matter. I bite on my lip a couple times and I feel Austin put his hand on my back and I instinctively lean against him a little bit.

“Because my dad was molesting me and when we told her she got upset and blamed herself and overdosed on Oxycotin and tried to drown herself in her bathtub,” Anna says. She’s standing up now with her arms crossed over her chest. “What fucking difference does it make, the reason why?”

“I knew it had something to do with one of you,” he snaps. “You and all of your bullshit lies.”

I feel Austin’s grip on me tighten reflexively.

“I was there, when it happened,” I say and frown. “I’ve taken care of her, Brad. She’s in a nice place, she gets outstanding medical care. What more do you want? She’s our mom too.”

“No…she isn’t your mom,” Brad says bitterly. “She is my mom…only mine. She gave both of you way more than either of you ever deserved and then you tried to kill her!”

“Bradley!” Blair says then, her face contorted with anger. “Be…nice to…your sisters!” she is struggling over the words, but she is proving her anger just the same.

“Mom, look at what they have done to you! You can’t even talk!”

“Lana…took…care of me…” she says as firmly as she can manage. “Anna visits me…every week. You…only came to…upset everybody.”

I’m amazed at how well she’s speaking. It’s like her inner mother is overcoming her disability. She looks at Brad with a scold.

“Mom…I was talking with your doctor and you are going to be like this forever because of them!”

“I am like this because of me!” she says. She hardly even struggles with her words this time. “I…made a mistake…and I am…paying for it…now. And so is…Lana and her husband…and Anna. You…can go back…to London where you belong.”

“Mom! I came to tell you I’m taking you to London with me, where I can monitor your personally.”

“No,” she says. “I…don’t want…to go to London.”

Brad rolls his eyes and he comes towards me. He takes my arm tightly then and drags me out of the room.

“Let go of me!” I cry. I pull my arm out of his grip and shove him a little bit. “I don’t know who you think you are, Brad, but you have no business putting your hands on me. Nor do you have any business trying to move Blair. The doctors don’t want her moved, she needs to stay here where she’s doing well.”

“She isn’t doing well! She talks like she has fucking down syndrome!”

“Brad, she has extensive brain damage…she isn’t going to improve just because you cart her off to London where she doesn’t want to be. Ever since you turned 18 you’ve only come home to see her for Christmas…if you could get away. What makes you think she wouldn’t want to stay with the family she has here!”

“You two are not her family,” he says. “You are nothing but a sad little orphan she took pity on.”

“Fuck you,” I snap. This whole issue has been so stressful and finally I’ve had enough. If I was a vampire myself I’d have killed him already. “I’m much more family to her than you’ve ever been! Don’t try and pretend that you care about her, Brad, because you don’t. Ever since you’re dad ran off with his secretary you have blamed Blair and harbored all that hatred. Don’t take out your issues on her anymore. I can afford to take care of her.”

“You can afford to take care of her? You obviously can’t even afford new clothes,” he says and rolls his eyes. “I have been away a long time, and I haven’t been home enough. But I’ve been making myself a success. What have you done, Lana? Married a sleazy man and you probably live in a one bedroom apartment with a cat.”

“You think because I dress like this I haven’t got enough money for a house? My financial status is really none of your business, but since you think it is I’d be more than happy to show you my bank statement from one of the many banks I have business with.”

He crosses his arms over his chest. He is a handsome man, dressed in a white button down shirt and a pair of grey slacks, his black shoes are shined and his black hair is trimmed and kept. I’ll be the first to admit he looks like the successful business man he is. He is two years older than me, which makes him 31, and I hate him.

“Look, Lana, I don’t care about your alleged fortune…you could be a billionaire and I could care less. I don’t want my mother being left under your bad judgment. I mean really, Lana, you came waltzing in here dressed like a teenager…Annalise looks like something out of a horror movie and your crack head husband has no business being near my mother.”

“Don’t talk about my husband,” I snap, feeling more defensive then I should. “You know nothing about him.”

“Lana…it doesn’t matter! Mom is going with me to London!”

“No she isn’t!” I snap. “The discussion is closed! She is an adult and she still has enough right to decide for herself! She isn’t well, and she isn’t going to be for the rest of her life. At least have the respect for your mother it would take to let her be happy.”

“I can’t tell you how much I’ve wished you had been on that plane…” he says.

It doesn’t hurt as much as he wanted it to. There had been times where I’d wished I’d been on the plane with my parents. But I’ve found happiness now in my life and I can’t let Brad tear me down anymore. I can’t let him hurt me, and so he doesn’t.

“Not all wishes come true,” I say. “You can leave now, Brad. You are only upsetting Blair.” I turn around and go back into Blair’s room and see Austin is sitting on the bed next to her and she seems totally calm. She’s holding onto his hand, which I find a little strange but I don’t question it. She was upset when I’d been pulled out of the room.

Brad comes in behind me and looks over the situation. I see the spark of anger in his eyes but he doesn’t say anything right away. He just stands there and breathes deeply for a few seconds, organizing his thoughts. Finally he comes to the bed and Blair let’s go of Austin’s hand and Brad gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m going to leave now, Mom,” he says. “I’ll be back for Christmas.”

He doesn’t wait for her to say anything, he just leaves. Blair folds her hands in her lap and I notice that she’s crying. I rush to her and sit on the opposite side of her and pull her towards me for a hug.

“Don’t cry, Blair,” I say. I give Austin a look and I feel relieved when the room fills with that calming smell.

“I…just…want to go…home,” she says and wipes her eyes with her finger tips. “I miss my…house…my life.”

I run my hand over her hair. “I know you do,” I say. “I wish I could let you go home.”

We stay with Blair for a couple hours, calming her down and reassuring her. I speak with her doctor quickly and determine if she would be able to return to Arizona if she had live in around the clock medical care and physical therapy. After discussing a few options we leave.

Anna and Josh go to have lunch and Austin and I head back to the house. I’m tired and emotionally drained. We walk into the house together and I sit at the bar in the kitchen and consider making myself something to eat. To my surprise, my very loving husband, does it for me.

“I’ve never seen you cook,” I say. I take a breath.

“I’m not very good at it,” he says and laughs. “But, I wasn’t always a vampire and I wasn’t always married. I had to eat something.”

I laugh with him and put my head down on the counter. “Maybe it would be better for Blair if we arranged for her to have people in her house with her and let her go home. Maybe she’d start progressing again, because she’d be happier.”

“Maybe,” he says. He puts a plate in front of me and hands me a fork and I turn the food around on the plate a little before taking a bite.

“I just…I don’t know…” I say and sigh.

He gets a coke out of the fridge for me and sets it down. “Whatever you feel like you need to do, Lana, you know you have my support. Money and emotional wise.”

“I know,” I say. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Can you believe…it was a one night stand that got me here.” I laugh then.

He gives me a smile. “I knew the first moment I saw you it wasn’t a one night stand,” he says. “Everything about you told me it was so much more than that. It was….it was everything. I was just drawn to you. I didn’t like it at first…I’m sure you can understand why.”

“Of course,” I say. I open the can of coke and take a drink.

“But after the first time…there was no going back. You’d have probably had a lot less drama in your life had you left right after the show,” he says and laughs. “Wouldn’t have had to see so many things that no human should ever have to see.”

“There are a few things I could have done without,” I say and laugh. “I’ve thought about it a lot, and maybe you’re right about not turning me. I have so many friends and so many people that I love that I would have to say goodbye to. Maybe…maybe being a human wouldn’t be so bad.”

“I’m glad you see that,” he says. “But, if anything should happen to you…I can’t say I’ll let you die…” he adds. “I love you. It will be hard to go on without you.”

“I love you too,” I say.

He takes my hand in both of his and runs his thumbs over my knuckles a little bit. “For the record…I’m happy you decided to hang out in the bar that night. I can’t imagine this life without you in it.” He kisses my hand then and I can’t help but smile.

I blink away the tears in my eyes. “I’m glad I stayed in there that night too…because I need you. For the rest of eternity.”