The Masked Feelings

After another hour I was getting tired and had persuaded Harry that it was time to leave, as I didn't want to keep Henriette waiting up all night for me. It didn't take long for Harry to drop me off home, but the entire ride was quiet with the radio playing calmly in the background. It was comfortable though, I guess that we were both deep in thought. Harry pulled into my driveway and gave me a peck on the cheek before I got out of the car and walked towards my house. I walked into a house that was that was screaming with silence. I walked into the lounge and saw Henriette sitting on the sofa and playing on her Ipod. "Hello, how was Bella?" I whispered to Henriette as she packed her stuff together.
"She was excellently behaved, very, very quiet" Henriette commented, as I walked her towards the door. I hummed in agreement.
"Yeah, she's a very shy character!" I agreed, ever since Cristiano left she kept herself in her own bubble and only let very few people in. "Well thank you for helping me out." I thanked, handing her €30. She smiled and said goodbye before leaving and heading to her house and, for her safety, I watched her just to make sure that nothing happened to her. Once she walked inside of her house I closed the door and got dressed for bed. Once I was dressed I wondered down stairs, poured myself a glass of water and settled down on my sofa to watch the news. There wasn't anything that special until the reporter got onto the topic of celebrity gossip (my favourite part.) "It has been confirmed today that former footballer Cristiano Ronaldo has moved back to Madrid, considering restarting his football career. The news of his disappearance shocked many, and I am sure that there will be many relieved faces of fans that have been worried over their idol. To add to all of this news, it has been revealed that Cristiano has left his partner Irina Shayk, after spending a year together, and the name Tasha Grove does spring to mind when you hear this news. What she is involved in within this topic is unknown but we are certain that she has some importance within this decision." The reporter read as my eyes that were before drowsy and tired were now opened wider than distance. I sat back onto the sofa and bit my lip in thought, maybe he does want to be in Bella's life?

I continued to watch the news for about 30 minutes, it was on the topic of weather when I heard a familiar screaming from upstairs. I turned off the T/V and staggered up the stairs. I made it outside of her room when the sound of her tears thudding against her pillow pained my heart agonizingly. I could feel it, I could feel the distance, the pain, the fury, the misery; all of it. I could feel her breaking, just like I always could. Every night when her screams wake me from the unbearable nightmare that is my life, I can always hear behind the excruciating screams and see the innocent little girl who is crying for her father. Begging for him to tell her that he was there for her all along and that everything was all a dream. I opened the door slowly and saw her lying there, her duvet only covering the bottom of her legs, her arms fragile over her chest. the little girl who used to cry and laugh in blissful happiness was a broken doll. I walked over to her bedside and stroked her hair like I always do. I kissed her forehead repeatedly and whispered soothing words until eventually her screams became hoarse and the tears stopped falling.

I finally got to sleep at about 1:00 am, and was woken by Bella running into my bedroom with a smile plastered on her face. I smiled at her weakly, as she didn't resemble the ghost that she was last night. It was her routine, every day she walks around with a smile on her face and her head held high, but at night her walls crumble and her shattered hopes become prominent, and then when morning strikes she wakes up and does it all over again. I put on a cardigan before I held her hand as she galloped down the stairs and came to a stop at the kitchen. "What do you want for breakfast honey?" I asked sweetly as Bella pointed towards her favourite cereal, like she always does. I grabbed the cardboard box and shook in the remainders of the cereal, before coating it and milk and handing it to Bella with her spoon. It wasn't long before the doorbell rang. I groaned in frustration as it meant that whoever it was would see me without make-up. I used to almost never wear make-up but when the sleepless nights started the effects on my appearance were monumental and I had to hide it beneath layers of make-up. Admittedly the bags beneath my eyes were fading, and my skin was beginning to redeem it's natural glow, I was still very self-conscious of it.

I opened the door and there he was. Untouched. I looked behind me to cheek that Bella hadn't followed me to the door; she hadn't. I walked out of the door, feeling the mornings bitter breeze, as I wrapped the sides of the cardigan around my waist and held it there with my arms crossed. "What do you want?" I asked with sparks of anger bouncing off of my tongue. For once Cristiano held back whatever witty response that he could muster, along with the classic smirk that came with it.
"I want to see my daughter Tasha, and if you don't let me then-" Cristiano started.
"Then nothing. I've thought it through one hundred times last night and the same answer repeated in my head. As much as it pains me to say it; Bella needs a dad Cristiano. Not a fake replacement dad like Harry, a proper dad; like you. I will let you see Bella under a few conditions." I interrupted him. "One, nothing changed between you and I. Around her we are to act like we get along, but there are no actual feelings. I do not want to see your face for any longer than I have to. And also, you are to never leave her again. This is your last chance Cristiano, you're walking on very thin ice so watch your step. You mess up and you can actually say goodbye to Bella, and say if for good." I warned and Cristiano shook his head in agreement.
"Thank you Tasha. I promise you that I will not hurt you or Bella ever again." Cristiano promised as I bit back a rude remark about his statement. I knew that he was very grateful for what I was doing for him, as I knew that if I didn't allow for him to see Bella then he never would, no matter what kind of argument that he put up in court; the fact the he left us would be held against him. I knew that he was going far out of his comfort zone, begging for Bella, and I knew that I could at least put in a little effort, and meet him halfway.
I took in a deep breath before asking, "Do you want to come inside?"