Falling in Love All Over Again

The next morning when the two boys woke up curled up happily into each other arms, Jack smiled and curled up into Alex more as he felt the older boy's arms wrap around him tighter he felt safe in his arms just like when they were teenagers again, he missed those days, feeling safe in Alex's arms not a care in the world other than homework that they rarely did and assignment done half fast so that they could see each other again, of course Jack wished he did work harder in school, but then again he didn't really need to when living the life that he currently was living, so it didn't really matter. As much as he wanted those days back when Alex was his and they were happy together and he ad nothing to worry about he did love his current job, touring the world and seeing places that other people could only dream of seeing, as much as he wanted Alex and wasn't 100% happy all of the time he wouldn't trade it for the world.

Jack looked up at Alex with a sleepy grin and Alex smiled back down at him, Jack searched Alex's eyes smiling as he found love in the look Alex was giving him, he hadn't seen that in so long, he missed looking into Alex's eyes and seeing nothing but pure love, and now it was slowly coming back and Jack couldn't be happier, maybe not Alex could have the man of his dreams along with the life e'd wanted to lead all of his life, it would be perfect, but things were rarely perfect when it came to Jack, once something good happened it was almost always taken away by something equally as bad, he could only imagine what terrible thing would happen to him if he got Alex, but then again, maybe nothing bad would happen, maybe.
"Morning Lex," Jack said smiling breaking their comfortable silence still looking into Alex's eyes and Alex was looking straight back into his.
"Morning Jay," Alex said smiling as he looked down at Jack, he was tempted to kiss Jack, he was just so cute in the mornings, he was always cute but when he'd just woken up and his hair was all messy he was just that little bit cuter. "What's for breakfast?" He asked with a cheeky grin making Jack roll his eyes at Alex.
"Don't know, I don't really have anything that hasn't expired maybe we could go out any get something to eat?" Jack suggested biting his lip, "I know we ate out a lot on tour but I don't really have anything else," Jack rambled on as he looked up at Alex.
"It's fine Jay I understand, I'm pretty sure most of my food has gone bad too so it's alright," Alex said poking Jack's nose giggling as the younger boy scrunched his nose up happily.
"Cool I'll just go get dressed then," Jack smiled.
"Hey Jay, can I borrow some clothes or something? I didn't intend on spending the night last night so I don't really have anything to wear?" Alex asked biting his lip, he knew Jack would say yes, but there was always that little voice in the back of his head telling Alex that Jack would tell him to fuck off and get his own clothes or something like that, he knew it would always be wrong, but there was that fear that maybe this one time it wouldn't be.
"Of course you can, you know you don't have to ask right?" Jack said grinning as he reluctantly slid from the safety of Alex's arms and into the unseasonably cold weather of Baltimore, or maybe it was just his living room that was really fucking cold, he didn't care to work out which one it was.
"I know, I'd just feel rude not asking," Alex shrugged though he knew there'd been more than one occasion in which he'd taken Jack's clothes without asking him, he was sure he had at least half of Jack's wardrobe hidden somewhere in his room.
Jack rolled his eyes and poked Alex's side playfully, "Fuck off Lex that's not true I know you better than that," the skunk haired boy said with a grin and walked upstairs to go get changed or something, well at least that's what Alex assumed, he may have gone to masturbate, he'd never really know for sure.

Alex quickly followed Jack upstairs into his room, he'd been here so many times so he knew every single nook and cranny of Jack's place. He walked into Jack's room to see Jack with his back facing him, he looked him up and down, from here he could see some of the damage the beautiful boy had inflicted on himself. He knew that Jack had harmed himself, hell the boy had just told him last night but he never really stated how bad the damage was and now Alex could see it, he looked Jack up and down again there were so many cuts and scars he couldn't count them, he hated thinking that such a beautiful boy would do something like that to himself, that he'd feel so bad about something that he felt the only way to escape was to inflict pain on himself. No one should feel that bad especially not someone as gorgeous as Jack, but just because Jack was beautiful didn't mean that depression - or whatever Jack was currently dealing with, Alex wasn't sure what it was hell he didn't even know if Jack knew himself - couldn't effect him, it didn't give priorities, it didn't care who you were, how much of a great life you lead if the chemicals in your brain were like that you'd be like that, it was strange thinking that chemicals made Jack feel so bad that he'd have to inflict pain on himself like that just to ruin more chemicals, but then again Alex didn't have a full understanding of what Jack was going through how he felt.
"You're starring," Jack mumbled making Alex jump, he had no idea that Jack was aware of his presence and now he felt really bad for staring at him like that, he really shouldn't have been, but he couldn't help it.
"S-sorry I didn't know you knew I was in here," Alex stuttered out as Jack slid on his shirt and skinny jeans before turning around to face Alex, he didn't look pissed or upset, so that was a good sign, right?
"I heard footsteps and then they stopped suddenly when they got to my room of course I knew you were here, I'm really good at that now," Jack said with a shrug and sat down on his bed as Alex stared at Jack, not moving from his position in the doorway, scared Jack was going to suddenly get pissed at him. "It's worst at the front where I can actually reach without it being uncomfortable, there is more of a backup, though you don't want to hear that do you? You want me to say that' it's better there and that's the last of them?" Jack said raising an eyebrow and Alex nodded slowly, how Jack even knew what he was thinking but then again, he was pretty easy to read, he was never one to hide his emotions.
"Yeah a little bit," Alex mumbled biting his lip and nodded again.
"It's not like that though Lex, I've been like this for a long time and I'll probably be like it for a while after too, it may get better but it's not going to get better straight away, but I'm sure you knew that," Jack said raising an eyebrow and Alex nodded again, "It's just like you when you used to get really bad anxiety and panic attacks, it gets better in time but sometimes it just comes again and you don't really know why but it does," Jack said and looked down, Alex walked over to Jack and wrapped his arms around the younger boy tightly and rested his head on his shoulder.
"I know Jay, I understand though I haven't been through it myself I understand what you mean, and just like you were here and helped me through my panic attacks, I'm going to help you through this, I don't expect you to get better straight away not at all, but I'll be here when you get better, and if you relapse I won't leave just because it's hard I promise Jay," Alex said looking up at him and Jack smiled down at Alex kissing his nose quickly, he wanted to kiss his lips but he was still scared Alex would pull away and get scared by his actions.
"Thank you Lex, really thank you, you have no idea how much that means to me, how much you mean to me," Jack smiled and rested his head on top of Alex's.

Maybe with Alex by his side being his knight in shining armor Jack could finally get better, maybe even get a prince out of it.