Bourbon and Ray-Bans

The putting distance in my relationship with Reedus thing wasn’t working. I think what I needed was actual distance. Everything was just becoming overly complicated and confusing. He said one thing but seemed to mean another. He’d kiss me until I couldn’t breathe but then adamantly declare us ‘friends only’. I hated game playing and this was starting to feel very much like a game. One more night and I’d be on my way home.

Lunch with Helena was at a small cafe in the East Village. Anxious didn’t begin to describe what I was feeling. When I saw her in person for the first time, I couldn’t actually believe there were women in real life who looked like that. She was stunning. I couldn’t even be jealous because she belonged on a whole other planet. People dreamed of looking like her in their twenties, but here she was in her forties and age had done nothing to mar her appearance.

“Nice to meet you, Brodie. I’ve heard so many things about you. Mingus and Norman both can barely get through a conversation without mentioning you at least once.” She smiled sweetly and held out her hand. I took it and got all tongue-tied.

“Um...yeah...it’s nice to meet you, too. You’re like…I mean...Wow, just don’t pay any attention to me. Sorry. I’m just, you’re even more gorgeous in real life.” I was on the verge of losing the lunch I hadn’t even eaten yet. She continued to smile at my ridiculousness, thanked me, and leaned in to kiss Norman’s cheek. We sat at a small table on the sidewalk. Norm and Helena chatted about Mingus’s school and other various parenting matters while Mingus and I people watched, laughing at the fake stories we made up about the passersby. I felt like I was sitting at the kiddie table. Watching the two of them together, I knew that Norman had never gotten over her, not completely anyway. And I could understand why. I was beginning to think that no woman would ever have a legitimate chance with him. Not after her.

Once our food was served, Helena turned towards me and started asking general get to know you questions which I mumbled awkward responses to. I knew I was coming off as a total bitch and needed to put in a little extra effort. Norman and Mingus got up to use the restroom which I figured was my best chance to be straight with her.

“Sorry if I’ve been weird during lunch. I’m just nervous.” I gave her a small smile and hoped she didn’t think I was a complete asshole.

“You’re fine, sweetie. I know this probably came out of nowhere, me wanting to meet you. My kid really seems to like you, as does his dad. Honestly, I’ve never met any of Norman’s other girlfriends before so this is a first for me as well.”

“Oh...ummm...I’m not his girlfriend. I mean, we just work together and hang out and stuff. I like Mingus. He’s a cool kid. I have lots of nephews so I’m good with boys. That’s all. Really.” If that was all, why was I turning bright red?

“That’s a shame. Norman needs someone like you in his life. He hasn’t had that in so long. I worry about him. Sometimes I blame myself for how he is and how closed off he is now. Twelve years ago he was so happy and open. Now he runs away from anything that’s too serious. He still dates girls half his age, trying to hold on to something that no longer exists. I want better for him even if he doesn’t believe that.” They had so much history.

“Well, I’d imagine a woman like you is hard to get over, but ultimately, Norman’s troubles are his own. We all have our own baggage, though. But you’re right. He has a type and that type is not me.” I laughed trying to lighten the conversation a bit.

“That’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve heard come out of a woman’s mouth in quite some time.” She slanted her eyes at me. “You’re brunette, have nice tits, beautiful in a not-so-conventional way - I’d say you’re exactly his type. I see the way you look at him. And I see the way they both look at you. Make your move and that man will be yours forever. I’m even willing to attend the wedding which is something none of the other girls he’s dated could say.” I liked her even though I didn’t believe a word coming out of her mouth.

The boys returned to the table and we parted ways. Mingus went home with his mom. They were leaving that night for Denmark to visit her family during Mingus’s spring break. Norman wanted to hit up the MoMA so we headed that way.

“You look spooked. What did she say to you? I knew I shouldn’t have left you two alone.”

“Nothing. She was actually way nicer than she had any right to be, really. I like her and can see why you liked her - why you still like her.” I snuck a peek at him. He looked back.

“You think I’ve still got a thing for Helena?” He lit a cigarette.

“I know you still have a thing for her. You look at her like she stole the goddamn moon. She knows, too.” I pushed my hands in my pockets and looked down at my feet as we walked along.

“Well fuck her and fuck you, too.” There was real heat behind his words. I’d hit a sore spot. I needed not to get caught up in this. I stopped walking.

“What the fuck? Are you coming?” He still sounded pissed.

“You go ahead.” I spun around and headed the opposite direction. Time to go home. It had been stupid to come. From now on, I swore he’d be nothing more than my co-worker. No more visits, no more late night phone calls, no more of the game playing.

I could feel his eyes burning a hole into the back of my head, but he let me keep walking. So keep walking, I did.