You Kill Me in a Good Way

The day went on, faster than I expected I haven’t see Andrew for two days, ignoring is not the right word I would use, I just don’t want to tell him yet, what will he think of me? Meaning I am ignoring him.

“Hey what are you watching?” Kellin asks jumping on the sofa leaning his head on my shoulder –what about my brother? - “Cow and chicken,” I whisper giving him the bowl of popcorn. “Are you happy?”

Happy, am I?

“Don’t ask stupid questions Kellin.” I mummer pushing a hand full of popcorn in my mouth, he sigh heavily stumbling of the sofa. “You know you can talk to me right?”

“I” - am pregnant with Andy Biersack’s child. - “know Kellin, and thank you for caring.” “You are my sister and I love you.” He grins kissing my cheek placing the bowl next to me. “Katelyn is coming for a few days.” His face lights up with excitement.

Maybe I could talk to her? She is my sister in law, I can’t hate her forever. “That’s amazing.” I say plastering a smile on my face. “Tomorrow, Michigan!” He yells as he exit the bus with his fist in the air, again! What is it with this bands, it’s just a damn town.

As I lay down trying to contain the nausea, my phone buzz seeing its text from Andrew, I don’t have the strength for this.

Andy- Are you ignoring me Katherine?

Kathy- No I am not

Andy- I miss you

Kathy- I miss you to

Andy- Please tell me what’s wrong? You are killing me here!

Kathy- Uh, nothing is wrong I don’t feel well

Andy- Don’t lie to me please):

Kathy- I am not would you drop it already! I have to go bye.

I slam the phone shut feeling my hormones are taking over my emotional state, I am so angry yet I want to cry. I hate to feel like this, I just want to relax! It just I want-

Suddenly the tour bus door flings open, Andy walks in furious shutting the door making me jump. “Hi.” Andy says wryly as he sits next to me. “Hi.” I murmur. “What is wrong?” He frowns; I shake my head as I pull the blankets up to my body.

“Nothing,” Maybe now? “Kathy, what is wrong?” His tone is little more forceful, and I chicken out yet again. “I missed you.” I whisper caressing his hands. “Boy, your hand is cold, have you eaten today?” I blush shaking my head. “Why not?”

– Well Andrew the reason I haven’t eaten is because I am pregnant and I know you are going to freak out! -

“I don’t feel well.” I say looking up to him with a weak smile. No do it now!

“I am pregnant.” Andy’s brow furrows with confusion. “How?” How...how? What sort of question is that? “Did you sleep during sex Ed?” I snap furiously at him, He sighs standing up walking up and down on the bus with his head in his hands.

“I know the timing is not very good.” I say pushing my hand under my shirt caressing my stomach. “Not very good!” Andy shouts startling me, I have never seen him this angry before

“We known each other for what? Five fucking minutes and now this!” He closes his eyes. I think he is trying to contain his temper knowing this is a losing battle.

“Andy please don’t shout at me.” I beg tears dripping down my cheeks. “I am not ready to be a father!”

–And you think I am ready to be a fucking mother! I am only eighteen years old and now you are blaming this on me! -

“We can figure this out.” I whisper wiping my tears away. “How the fuck do you know, tell me!” What happened to me? A guy screaming at me and I am not defending myself, what as come of me!

“Fuck this!” He held up his heads in defeat, his footsteps echoing as he barged out the door leaving me with tears in my eyes and a broken heart.

Its 1am and I am alone on the bus, sleeping with sirens and the other bands having fun on the beach, they wont be back till later I guess, as my eye lids became heavy a sudden knock wakes me right up.

“Shit!” I hear Andy’s voice in the ‘living room’ I stumble out of my bunk seeing Andy gazing at me, is he drunk? What the hell is he doing here? “Where have you been?” I ask hugging my body tight, afraid of something, but I don’t know what.

“I think you should go to bed Andrew.” He stumbles forward to me putting his finger on my lips. “Shh.” “Let’s get to the bus.” I whisper grabbing his arm around me walking outside to the BVB bus that is a few fee away from us, god for a thin dude he is sure fucking heavy!

We finally stumble down the hallway of the bunks, I rest his head on the pillow looking down at my future, it sure looks crap.

“Join me.” Andy slurs. “I think you need some sleep Andrew.” “And so it begins!” He moans lifting up his arms resting it on his head. “Heard about what?” I frown. “Babies mean no sex right?” “Oh yeah just because of a baby we are not going to have sex and you will fuck your ex girlfriend behind my back while I am cleaning up vomit.” I snap pulling of his combat boots.

“You’re funny.” He giggles like a little girl. “You are drink.” I breathe hard shaking my head. “Let’s get you undressed.” I whisper as I help him sit up. “No you are talking.” he mumbles with a huge grin.

I remove his leather jacket and his slipknot ripped shirt, his tattoos makes me all warm inside. Andy crash back on the bed with his eyes wide, “The room is spinning baby.”

Oh shit. “Andrew get the fuck up now!” I command as I try to pull him up again. “That’s why I love you, so bossy.” He mummer darkly as he sits up, I am very uncomfortable now, I am standing between his legs and he is just gazing at me, “You smell amazing.” He whispers stroking my arm up and down. “You smell like hard liqueur and strippers.” I snap closing my eyes erasing that thought of him with a stripper out of my head.

Just than the unexpected happens, Andrew leans is head over to my belly resting on it. “You are going to keep me awake aren’t you little boy.” He is talking to Baby Biersack, this is overwhelming, and Andrew looks up with tears in his eyes. “You will choose him over me,” He says sadly, maybe it’s a girl! No not now.

“You need to sleep.” I whisper as I lay him down again. With that Andy’s eyes close fumbling with the pillow, I sat down out of breathe just eyeing him as he sleeps. “I love you so much.” I whisper leaning on him giving him a soft kiss on the temple.
I pull the sheets up closing the curtain behind me. I need a drink now! How can I forget, I can’t