Status: just started
A Walk in the Park with You
It rained today inside of me
I went to get dressed and Kit drove me over to his house, the whole ride there I just stared out of the window. Light snow was covering the black roads and it felt so euphoric. PA was a lot worse in the winter but at least there i wasn't alone on christmas. "I hate the holidays" I mumbled. I thought it was almost inaudible until we pulled up into the driveway and he said 'me too but spending it with you, there's just something about it that makes it not so bad." I smiled. I was nervous, and a bit sad. Part of me was longing to be at home with my mom and dad just enjoying there company.
My mom started working really hard after my dad killed himself. I kind of went on about it like nothing happened because I didn't have any friends, nobody else to have listen to me so I just pretended it never happened. Like I was a special breed,One without a father. But my dad loved the holidays, he loved thanksgiving,christmas,halloween, he died 12 days before my birthday so it's made winter a rough time. I sometimes wish I was able to know why he did it, I want closure, I wish he had left a note. Why would he just off it,he had a daughter, he had a wife, he always told me everything is cured with time but he couldn't practice what he fucking preached? I wish it was me, for this past year and however many months, the day it happened I wished it had been me instead. I wish I could have saved him, like he saved me. survivors guilt had eaten away at me for months and I was finally letting someone know that I wasn't okay, but if it was the right person? only time will tell. Ironic.
I walked through the thresh hold,holding Kit's hand as we walked into the living room. I saw a young boy, and what must of been his parents sitting on the floor, his brother opening presents. I smiled warmly at them but still felt like i was intruding. "Hey guys, Merry christmas" Kit said sliding off his coat. "Where were you last night?" she asked. She walked over to him and they walked into the kitchen to talk.
I just stood in the hallway waiting for him awkwardly.
He walked back in a few minutes and his mom walked over to me. She gave me a hug and said merry christmas. "Merry christmas to you too." "I'm Angie and that's my husband micheal, and our little one andrew" I waved. "Thank you so much for letting me come over, I really hope I'm not intruding." "Not at all" she smiled at me. Kit grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room. I walked over to his dad. "It's nice to meet you sir" I smiled sticking my hand out. He shook it and smiled widely. "What a nice young lady, glad to see you bringing them home son" He said. Kit just laughed and then introduced me to his little brother. "Hey andrew,bud." He said. "yeah hey Kit." "This is my friend Scarlette she has a guitar too, I was thinking maybe she could teach you some stuff." "Would you!!" He said loudly and staring up at me.
"I'll show you everything I know." I smiled back. I was having fun, I helped his mom cook dinner, I talked to his dad about the military since my dad had been in the military for 12 years,
I showed andrew some basic chords on the guitar and me and kit were having fun just watching reruns of christmas story on tv.
"Thank you" I whispered to him on the couch as I kissed his cheek. "Don't thank me, my family loves having you and I'm happy enough with the fact that you're warming up to me." I swallowed thickly and slowly reached my hand up to his neck and pulled him down to my gently. I kissed him and he kissed me back instantly, after feeling relieved. All I could think about were his lips, even after he pulled away. My favorite part of kissing him is how whole it feels. It felt like he was just as desperate for me as I was for him. He smiled and wrapped his arm around me. I looked up at him and he whispered in my ear. "Scar I'm never gonna leave you feeling like you did again."
My mom started working really hard after my dad killed himself. I kind of went on about it like nothing happened because I didn't have any friends, nobody else to have listen to me so I just pretended it never happened. Like I was a special breed,One without a father. But my dad loved the holidays, he loved thanksgiving,christmas,halloween, he died 12 days before my birthday so it's made winter a rough time. I sometimes wish I was able to know why he did it, I want closure, I wish he had left a note. Why would he just off it,he had a daughter, he had a wife, he always told me everything is cured with time but he couldn't practice what he fucking preached? I wish it was me, for this past year and however many months, the day it happened I wished it had been me instead. I wish I could have saved him, like he saved me. survivors guilt had eaten away at me for months and I was finally letting someone know that I wasn't okay, but if it was the right person? only time will tell. Ironic.
I walked through the thresh hold,holding Kit's hand as we walked into the living room. I saw a young boy, and what must of been his parents sitting on the floor, his brother opening presents. I smiled warmly at them but still felt like i was intruding. "Hey guys, Merry christmas" Kit said sliding off his coat. "Where were you last night?" she asked. She walked over to him and they walked into the kitchen to talk.
I just stood in the hallway waiting for him awkwardly.
He walked back in a few minutes and his mom walked over to me. She gave me a hug and said merry christmas. "Merry christmas to you too." "I'm Angie and that's my husband micheal, and our little one andrew" I waved. "Thank you so much for letting me come over, I really hope I'm not intruding." "Not at all" she smiled at me. Kit grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room. I walked over to his dad. "It's nice to meet you sir" I smiled sticking my hand out. He shook it and smiled widely. "What a nice young lady, glad to see you bringing them home son" He said. Kit just laughed and then introduced me to his little brother. "Hey andrew,bud." He said. "yeah hey Kit." "This is my friend Scarlette she has a guitar too, I was thinking maybe she could teach you some stuff." "Would you!!" He said loudly and staring up at me.
"I'll show you everything I know." I smiled back. I was having fun, I helped his mom cook dinner, I talked to his dad about the military since my dad had been in the military for 12 years,
I showed andrew some basic chords on the guitar and me and kit were having fun just watching reruns of christmas story on tv.
"Thank you" I whispered to him on the couch as I kissed his cheek. "Don't thank me, my family loves having you and I'm happy enough with the fact that you're warming up to me." I swallowed thickly and slowly reached my hand up to his neck and pulled him down to my gently. I kissed him and he kissed me back instantly, after feeling relieved. All I could think about were his lips, even after he pulled away. My favorite part of kissing him is how whole it feels. It felt like he was just as desperate for me as I was for him. He smiled and wrapped his arm around me. I looked up at him and he whispered in my ear. "Scar I'm never gonna leave you feeling like you did again."