Synthetic Love

After talking with the guys for a bit, Nicole and I ditched them to walk around the grounds. The guys had a few interviews, so we probably wouldn’t see them until their set tonight.
Nicole was talking about how Chris proposed to her and then I began to talk about my relationship with Ryan.
‘I want Ryan to propose, it’s just…he thinks that it’s too soon and it would be going “too fast”.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘People get married and they’ve been together for only a few months, yet Ryan and I have been together for over two years and he thinks it’s “too soon”.’ I ranted.
Nicole just shook her head in agreement.

-A Few days later-

The guys were shooting the music video for their new single, America, which was going to be directed by Clown from Slipknot! I nearly fainted (nearly!) when Ryan informed me of their new director. I’ve been a big fan of Slipknot for years and the fact that I was going to meet 2 of the members of Slipknot at once, made me sick to the stomach with excitement and nerves.
I was talking to Nicole about how she felt about one of the dancers practically dry-humping Chris, when her phone rang again. Nicole groaned.
‘Just switch it off.’ I told her, before leaving her to find Ryan.
I saw Chris on my walk towards the guys’ trailer. I hugged him quickly, telling him that I was going to their trailer.
I continued my walk and I couldn’t help but think back to last night, when Nicole finally let her walls down, and broke down from the pressure of her engagement to Chris and people judging her for it. I was getting hate-mail too, for dating Ryan, but not nearly as much as Nicole, for being engaged to the lead-singer.
When I finally found Ryan, he was alone outside the trailer, with Motionless’ merch girl, Allie. Why she was here, I will never know, but I didn’t want to ask Ryan, knowing what his answer would be. It would just cause an argument; the same argument we have every time I catch them together. He tells me that I’m jealous and paranoid over nothing, but I know that there’s something going on between them.
It makes me jealous about Nicole and Chris’ relationship. They love each other and have been together for years, and hardly have any problems, yet I have been with Ryan for around two years and although we have our ‘coupley’ moments, we have more arguments than we let on. I try to tell myself that the arguments only make our relationship stronger, but I’m beginning to doubt myself. The arguments never last longer than two days, but they’re always about the same thing and one name always comes up at least once in the arguments; “Allie”.
I walked over to them, pretending that I didn’t have my suspicions, but Allie still left, muttering something about a date. The guys piled out of the bus, excitedly talking about (and fan-girling in Devin’s case) working with two members of Slipknot and Brandon was talking to Ricky about his nerves of this being the first music video with the band.
Ryan wrapped his arms around my waist, as Chris and Nicole began their walk over to us, Chris’ arm around her waist.
‘Someone looks sexy.’ I heard Chris say to Nicole.
I shook my head, as Ryan spun me around and kissing me. I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck, as he wrapped his around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
It was roasting outside; it felt like we had stepped into a giant oven.
‘Holy shit it’s hot out here!’ Balz chuckled from behind me.
Ryan and I pulled away. I turned around, nodding.
‘I know, Jesus Christ…’ I muttered.
‘Are you talking about the temperature, or the…’ Ryan trailed off, when Ash from the band “New Years Day”, passed by in a corset and garters. I slapped him up the back of his head.
He pouted at me, as I raised my eyebrow. ‘You’re the hottest girl I‘ve ever seen…’ he told me, pulling me into a sweaty hug. ‘Mmhm…’ I said, not believing him.
He shook his head, pulling away. ‘You keep that pout on your face any longer, I’ll fuck you right now…’ he growled into my ear.
I bit my lip, smirking. ‘Now now, I promise we‘ll have some fun later…’ I kissed his cheek, as Brandon came over to us with a bottle of baby powder. I stepped away from Ryan, as he began to cover himself in baby powder. Balz whistled and I turned around to see Nicole in corset and garters, under a silk robe, and Chris beside her in a tux.
‘Damn, girl.’ Ricky said from behind me.
‘You can’t touch Olson.’ she replied, making me chuckle.
He laughed, and we all entered the tent. When we reached Clown, his eyes widened when they rested on Nicole.
‘Wow, so your Chris’ girl?’ He asked her.
‘Yeah.’ she answered, smiling. I have always been slightly…envious of her. She has the perfect body, she’s beautiful and she’s skinny. Everything that I’m not. I’m fat, ugly and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Ryan was cheating on me with Allie.
‘Okay, so we are going to be shooting a scene with you and we have two girls in the scene with you.’ He told her.
‘Okay.’ she answered, before walking over to the set.
‘Action!’ Clown yelled, as I watched behind him, with the band.
The two girls were talking about Chris, while Nicole was putting on red lipstick, smiling wickedly in the mirror. She got up and walked past the girls.
‘Cut!’ Clown yelled.

-A Few Hours Later-

I was sat on the couch at the front of the bus, on Ryan’s lap, watching Amityville Horror with him, Ricky, Chris and Balz. Nicole was in the backroom, which was her and Chris’ bedroom.
‘I don’t think she’s feeling too well…’ Ryan said.
Nicole had been in the backroom for ages, watching movies. I had been in to check on her a couple of times, and she didn’t look too good.
‘I think you should go check on her.’ I told Chris.
‘Bring the heating pad with you.’ I added. Chris nodded, before collecting the heating pad and walking into the backroom.
I snuggled against Ryan’s chest again, nuzzling his neck.
‘Did you forget your promise?’ he whispered, stroking my hair.
I frowned ‘What promise?’
‘The one you made earlier…’ he trailed off, beginning to kiss down my neck. It finally dawned on me.
‘But the guys are here…’ I whispered.
‘Yeah. We’re here. We don’t want to hear you two fucking.’ Balz said.
Ryan huffed and I chuckled, stroking his cheek, before whispering.
‘Tomorrow. When they’re gone.’
He grinned, kissing me, before turning back to the movie.

-The Next Day-

I woke up and Ryan was gone. I sighed, climbing out of the bunk and dragging myself towards the “kitchen” area of the bus.
‘Hey.’ I heard Chris say from the couch. I turned to him, offering a small smile, before making myself a hot chocolate.
‘You want a coffee?’ I asked him. He nodded and I made him some, before sitting opposite him.
‘Do you know where Ryan is?’ I asked him, taking a sip of the hot beverage.
He shook his head ‘Haven’t seen him.’
I sighed. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, concerned.
Chris and I have been best friends for years. He was like a brother to me, so I trusted him to not tell anyone.
‘Ryan. He’s…hanging out a lot with…’ I trailed off, looking around, not wanting anyone to hear my accusation, especially not my boyfriend.
Chris sensed that I wanted privacy to talk about this, so he offered to take me to lunch, which I accepted, before getting changed and leaving with him.
He took me to Buffalo Wild Wings, telling me to order what I want and that he’d pay for it.
I shook my head, telling him to keep the money to spend on my best friend.
I confided my accusations and suspicions of Ryan and Allie to Chris.
‘He doesn’t spend as much time with me anymore. And half of the time, when he says he’s with you guys, he’s not, because I’m with yous, and he isn’t there.’ I sighed, setting a bone on my plate.
Chris bit his lip, nodding ‘I can’t pretend that I haven’t noticed how much time he spends with her.’
I looked down, trying to conceal the tears that were threatening to fall. Chris walked over to me and hugged me, before returning to his seat and telling me about a song he was writing with Nicole called ‘Angel Eyes’. I chuckled at the irony of the meaning of the song, especially after talking about my relationship with Ryan before. He then began to talk about his engagement and how excited he was to marry Nicole.
When we were finished, he paid (despite my protests) and we started back to Warped.
I told Chris that I was going to hang out with the guys in Asking Alexandria, to avoid Ryan for a bit. Chris nodded, saying that he had to go and do a couple of interviews. I nodded and hugged him, before knocking on the door of AA’s bus. Danny answered, with a can of Jack Daniels in his hand. He motioned for me to come in and I sat on their couch, in between Ben and Andy from Black Veil Brides, who also had Jack Daniels. They offered me one, but I declined, reminding them that I was straight-edge.
I had fun talking and playing video games with the guys, before heading towards the Motionless in White bus, immediately stopping in my tracks when I was close enough to see who was standing outside it.
Ryan and Allie.
And they were kissing.