Status: Not completed
Teenage Dirtbag
I'm gonna break your little heart
Jack’s POV
I was sitting on a wooden bench outside Tay’s apartment next to her. I figured it was about time to talk to her about the elephant in the room: her feelings for me. I had to make sure she knew I didn’t feel the same way about her, as I could imagine it would help her to get over me. Over the years I had found out that it’s easier to get over someone when you know for sure they’re not interested, than when there might be a chance they are. I just wasn’t sure yet how to start this conversation.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Tay snapped me from my thoughts. We had been sitting here for a few minutes in silence. I had asked Tay to come outside with me because we needed to talk and although she probably knew what I wanted to talk to her about, I would still have to be the one to actually start the conversation.
“About us, I guess” I muttered, not continuing after that for a few seconds.
Tay sighed. “What about us Jack? If you want to talk to me you have to use actual words you know.”
“Look, I know that you know that I know you like me” I said quickly, before taking a deep breath and continuing. “And I just thought I had to set some things straight.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Tay asked. I sighed. It didn’t seem like she was gonna make this any easier for me.
“I just don’t know how to say this” I mumbled.
“You don’t have to sugarcoat it, Jack. I can take it. You don’t like me, I get it” Tay said, rather harshly. Thrown off by her tone, I didn’t immediately know how to reply to it. But well, what was I expecting? A “thank you” for breaking her heart? I couldn’t exactly blame her for being upset.
“Of course I like you Tay, just not like that. I think you’re great and honestly, I wish I did like you like that as I’m pretty damn sure you’d make a much better girlfriend than Aimee would but the heart wants what it wants” I said.
“That’s bullshit. What the heart wants isn’t always what’s best for you Jack, and maybe it’s time for you to choose what’s best for you. I’m not saying I’m better for you than Aimee – though that is probably true - I’m just saying your situation with Aimee might call for some rationality instead of following your heart.” Tay continued on her harsh tone, which I wasn’t used to from her as her usual voice was pretty soft and she wasn’t one to get angry very often. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you think that girl is good for you”
I sighed. I knew I couldn’t do so. Tay was right, Aimee wasn’t good for me, or at least it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t sure where Tay was going with this though.
“I’m not saying she’s good for me, but what do you want from me here?” I asked. “I’m not gonna lie to you and say I do like you because that wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
“And what you’re doing with Aimee is fair to either of you? It’s the same damn thing, Jack” Tay answered.
“Except that, at one point, or well, more for like four years, I was in love with her. I’ve never been in love with you Tay and I refuse to tell you otherwise to make you feel better as I wouldn’t want to get your hopes up” I said emphatically.
“Oh, don’t you worry about that, my hopes won’t be getting up any time soon, you made sure of that” Tay scoffed.
I sighed. “C’mon Tay, I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. I love hanging out with you, I really do, but it’s just better to stay friends.”
“You want to be friends? In that case, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t, you know, hit on my sister” she said flat.
“It won’t happen again, I promise” I said, more softly this time, now that Tay had dropped her aggressive tone.
I looked at her. I couldn’t see her face very well as it was rather dark outside and the yard lights only lit up half her face, but from what I could see, she seemed sad. I suppose that made sense. I figured right now she probably could use a friend and decided to be exactly that for her.
“Come here” I said, pulling her in for a hug.
At first I thought she were to resist, but she didn’t. I wrapped my arms around her and she laid her head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry” I whispered.
Tay didn’t reply, but I figured her not resisting my hug was a good sign.
We had been sitting on the bench like that for a few minutes when I realized this might not be the best way to show Tay I just want to be friends, so I moved my hands from her back, causing Tay to sit straight up. I noticed her eyes were a bit watery.
“Hey don’t cry” I said softly. “I’m so not worth your tears.” I attempted to turn it into a joke to lighten the mood. Tay shot me a watery smile.
“When are you gonna see yourself the way others see you?” she suddenly asked. I had not at all expected that question and wasn’t sure what she was referring to either, to be honest.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Jack, you’re a really great guy. I wouldn’t shed a single tear over you if I didn’t think you were worth it, trust me. And when will you see you deserve better than Aimee? And again, I’m not even talking about me, but you deserve a girl that wants to go out with you, be with you 24/7 instead of one that doesn’t want to be seen in public with you. I know you’re always trying to protect everyone around you, but please, start thinking about yourself for a change. I guarantee you your relationship with Aimee will eventually take its toll on you and I refuse to just sit back and watch it happen. So please, don't let it come that far. Care a little less about her feelings and a little more about yours. You deserve so much better than this” Tay explained.
“Don’t say that” I muttered, caught off guard by her words. I didn’t deserve her kindness after I basically just broke her heart. “I just hurt you…”
“Hey, you still want to be friends right” Tay continued with the same watery smile. “I’m being a friend, Jack. And you didn’t hurt me by saying you don’t feel the same way about me because I already figured that out. What hurt was seeing you ask my sister out but since you promised you wouldn’t do it again, let’s just move on from this.”
I looked at her, rather confused. Was Tay not mad at all? My fights with Haley had taught me girls could hold a grudge for quite some time and that's what I had been expecting from Tay.
“You’re not mad?” I asked.
“You can’t help it that you don’t like me, right? I can’t get to mad at you for that. And as for the Sam-thing, I was more disappointed about it than I was mad” she said.
Disappointed. That word that always made you wish someone actually was mad at you, as disappointing them sounds much more dramatic. To my surprise, Tay got up.
“Let’s go back inside, we have a party to attend after all” she said, blinking to make the tears in her eyes disappear. “Unless you have something left to say, that is.”
I shook my head and Tay turned to walk back in.
“Wait” I said, causing Tay to turn back around. “Thank you.”
She tilted her head. “For what exactly?”
“For not lashing out on me” I replied. “You had every right to do so.”
“No I didn’t. In fact, I should be thanking you for being honest with me. So thank you for not leading me on. Now come on, let’s party” Tay replied.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me back inside. As soon as we were inside Haley came up to us.
“Well that was about time!” she exclaimed. “What were you two even doing out there?”
“Hide and seek” Tay said, very convincing.
Haley gave us a weird look. “Okay, well, I have to tell you something” she continued raising her voice.
“Oh my god, what is it?!” I exclaimed, mimicking Haley’s high-pitched voice.
Haley punched my arm. “Don’t do that again, it’s creepy.”
“I won’t, but what did you want to tell us?” I asked.
“Guess who’s got a boyfriend?” she exclaimed.
I looked at Tay smirking. “Do you know anyone who has a boyfriend?”
“Cassadee maybe?” Tay suggested.
“Would it, by any chance, be you, Haley?” I asked.
“Bingo!” she exclaimed. “You’re a jerk.”
“So Alex finally asked it huh?”
“Alex? No I was talking about Cameron” Haley said with a straight face, causing me and Tay to exchange a confused look.
“Hah, got you!” Haley exclaimed. “Yes, Alex did indeed ask me to be his girlfriend.”
“You little shit” I said, shaking my head. I pulled her in for a hug. “Congrats Hales.”
“Now I want to know more about this game of hide and seek you mentioned” Haley said after Tay congratulated her as well.
“Uh, no you don’t” I said. “I’m gonna go find Alex.”
I turned around, as I didn’t feel like thinking of a new excuse to tell Haley, although it might not have been very nice of me to leave Tay with Haley. I would inform her about what Tay and I discussed later, but not in front of Tay. I spotted Alex on the other side of the room with Cassadee, Rian, Zack and Megan and walked up to them.
“Congrats man” I told Alex, slapping his shoulder.
Everyone except for Alex gave me a confused look.
“Thanks man” Alex replied.
“Wait, what’s going on here?” Cassadee asked curiously.
“You don’t know?” I asked, looking from them to Alex.
“Haley didn’t want me to tell anyone before she told you” Alex replied shrugging, causing me to smile.
“Haley is not pregnant, is she?” Rian asked wryly.
“Not that I know of” Alex replied laughing.
“They’re finally together!” I exclaimed.
“Ah congratulations!” Cassadee exclaimed, hugging Alex.
“It was about time” Rian said laughing. “Congrats.”
I was sitting on a wooden bench outside Tay’s apartment next to her. I figured it was about time to talk to her about the elephant in the room: her feelings for me. I had to make sure she knew I didn’t feel the same way about her, as I could imagine it would help her to get over me. Over the years I had found out that it’s easier to get over someone when you know for sure they’re not interested, than when there might be a chance they are. I just wasn’t sure yet how to start this conversation.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Tay snapped me from my thoughts. We had been sitting here for a few minutes in silence. I had asked Tay to come outside with me because we needed to talk and although she probably knew what I wanted to talk to her about, I would still have to be the one to actually start the conversation.
“About us, I guess” I muttered, not continuing after that for a few seconds.
Tay sighed. “What about us Jack? If you want to talk to me you have to use actual words you know.”
“Look, I know that you know that I know you like me” I said quickly, before taking a deep breath and continuing. “And I just thought I had to set some things straight.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Tay asked. I sighed. It didn’t seem like she was gonna make this any easier for me.
“I just don’t know how to say this” I mumbled.
“You don’t have to sugarcoat it, Jack. I can take it. You don’t like me, I get it” Tay said, rather harshly. Thrown off by her tone, I didn’t immediately know how to reply to it. But well, what was I expecting? A “thank you” for breaking her heart? I couldn’t exactly blame her for being upset.
“Of course I like you Tay, just not like that. I think you’re great and honestly, I wish I did like you like that as I’m pretty damn sure you’d make a much better girlfriend than Aimee would but the heart wants what it wants” I said.
“That’s bullshit. What the heart wants isn’t always what’s best for you Jack, and maybe it’s time for you to choose what’s best for you. I’m not saying I’m better for you than Aimee – though that is probably true - I’m just saying your situation with Aimee might call for some rationality instead of following your heart.” Tay continued on her harsh tone, which I wasn’t used to from her as her usual voice was pretty soft and she wasn’t one to get angry very often. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you think that girl is good for you”
I sighed. I knew I couldn’t do so. Tay was right, Aimee wasn’t good for me, or at least it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t sure where Tay was going with this though.
“I’m not saying she’s good for me, but what do you want from me here?” I asked. “I’m not gonna lie to you and say I do like you because that wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
“And what you’re doing with Aimee is fair to either of you? It’s the same damn thing, Jack” Tay answered.
“Except that, at one point, or well, more for like four years, I was in love with her. I’ve never been in love with you Tay and I refuse to tell you otherwise to make you feel better as I wouldn’t want to get your hopes up” I said emphatically.
“Oh, don’t you worry about that, my hopes won’t be getting up any time soon, you made sure of that” Tay scoffed.
I sighed. “C’mon Tay, I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. I love hanging out with you, I really do, but it’s just better to stay friends.”
“You want to be friends? In that case, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t, you know, hit on my sister” she said flat.
“It won’t happen again, I promise” I said, more softly this time, now that Tay had dropped her aggressive tone.
I looked at her. I couldn’t see her face very well as it was rather dark outside and the yard lights only lit up half her face, but from what I could see, she seemed sad. I suppose that made sense. I figured right now she probably could use a friend and decided to be exactly that for her.
“Come here” I said, pulling her in for a hug.
At first I thought she were to resist, but she didn’t. I wrapped my arms around her and she laid her head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry” I whispered.
Tay didn’t reply, but I figured her not resisting my hug was a good sign.
We had been sitting on the bench like that for a few minutes when I realized this might not be the best way to show Tay I just want to be friends, so I moved my hands from her back, causing Tay to sit straight up. I noticed her eyes were a bit watery.
“Hey don’t cry” I said softly. “I’m so not worth your tears.” I attempted to turn it into a joke to lighten the mood. Tay shot me a watery smile.
“When are you gonna see yourself the way others see you?” she suddenly asked. I had not at all expected that question and wasn’t sure what she was referring to either, to be honest.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Jack, you’re a really great guy. I wouldn’t shed a single tear over you if I didn’t think you were worth it, trust me. And when will you see you deserve better than Aimee? And again, I’m not even talking about me, but you deserve a girl that wants to go out with you, be with you 24/7 instead of one that doesn’t want to be seen in public with you. I know you’re always trying to protect everyone around you, but please, start thinking about yourself for a change. I guarantee you your relationship with Aimee will eventually take its toll on you and I refuse to just sit back and watch it happen. So please, don't let it come that far. Care a little less about her feelings and a little more about yours. You deserve so much better than this” Tay explained.
“Don’t say that” I muttered, caught off guard by her words. I didn’t deserve her kindness after I basically just broke her heart. “I just hurt you…”
“Hey, you still want to be friends right” Tay continued with the same watery smile. “I’m being a friend, Jack. And you didn’t hurt me by saying you don’t feel the same way about me because I already figured that out. What hurt was seeing you ask my sister out but since you promised you wouldn’t do it again, let’s just move on from this.”
I looked at her, rather confused. Was Tay not mad at all? My fights with Haley had taught me girls could hold a grudge for quite some time and that's what I had been expecting from Tay.
“You’re not mad?” I asked.
“You can’t help it that you don’t like me, right? I can’t get to mad at you for that. And as for the Sam-thing, I was more disappointed about it than I was mad” she said.
Disappointed. That word that always made you wish someone actually was mad at you, as disappointing them sounds much more dramatic. To my surprise, Tay got up.
“Let’s go back inside, we have a party to attend after all” she said, blinking to make the tears in her eyes disappear. “Unless you have something left to say, that is.”
I shook my head and Tay turned to walk back in.
“Wait” I said, causing Tay to turn back around. “Thank you.”
She tilted her head. “For what exactly?”
“For not lashing out on me” I replied. “You had every right to do so.”
“No I didn’t. In fact, I should be thanking you for being honest with me. So thank you for not leading me on. Now come on, let’s party” Tay replied.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me back inside. As soon as we were inside Haley came up to us.
“Well that was about time!” she exclaimed. “What were you two even doing out there?”
“Hide and seek” Tay said, very convincing.
Haley gave us a weird look. “Okay, well, I have to tell you something” she continued raising her voice.
“Oh my god, what is it?!” I exclaimed, mimicking Haley’s high-pitched voice.
Haley punched my arm. “Don’t do that again, it’s creepy.”
“I won’t, but what did you want to tell us?” I asked.
“Guess who’s got a boyfriend?” she exclaimed.
I looked at Tay smirking. “Do you know anyone who has a boyfriend?”
“Cassadee maybe?” Tay suggested.
“Would it, by any chance, be you, Haley?” I asked.
“Bingo!” she exclaimed. “You’re a jerk.”
“So Alex finally asked it huh?”
“Alex? No I was talking about Cameron” Haley said with a straight face, causing me and Tay to exchange a confused look.
“Hah, got you!” Haley exclaimed. “Yes, Alex did indeed ask me to be his girlfriend.”
“You little shit” I said, shaking my head. I pulled her in for a hug. “Congrats Hales.”
“Now I want to know more about this game of hide and seek you mentioned” Haley said after Tay congratulated her as well.
“Uh, no you don’t” I said. “I’m gonna go find Alex.”
I turned around, as I didn’t feel like thinking of a new excuse to tell Haley, although it might not have been very nice of me to leave Tay with Haley. I would inform her about what Tay and I discussed later, but not in front of Tay. I spotted Alex on the other side of the room with Cassadee, Rian, Zack and Megan and walked up to them.
“Congrats man” I told Alex, slapping his shoulder.
Everyone except for Alex gave me a confused look.
“Thanks man” Alex replied.
“Wait, what’s going on here?” Cassadee asked curiously.
“You don’t know?” I asked, looking from them to Alex.
“Haley didn’t want me to tell anyone before she told you” Alex replied shrugging, causing me to smile.
“Haley is not pregnant, is she?” Rian asked wryly.
“Not that I know of” Alex replied laughing.
“They’re finally together!” I exclaimed.
“Ah congratulations!” Cassadee exclaimed, hugging Alex.
“It was about time” Rian said laughing. “Congrats.”