Status: Not completed
Teenage Dirtbag
Lazy lover, find a place for me again
Tay’s POV
I was waiting for Jack at my locker. I had texted Jordan he didn’t have to pick me up because I went to Alex’s. I didn’t feel like explaining to him why I went to Jack’s. I got to leave my last period early, so it would probably be about 5 minutes until Jack got here.
A few minutes later he showed up next to me. Instead of his usual happy self, he seemed sad and possibly scared of what we were about to discuss.
“Ready?” I asked.
Jack nodded silently and I followed him to his car. We both got in, still not saying a word.
“Are we just not gonna talk until we get to your house?” I asked to break the tension.
Jack didn’t turn to look at me. “I don’t really know what I can do to make things better” he muttered.
“How about you stop thinking you have to make it up to me?” I said.
Jack didn’t reply and drove off.
“Look, we can’t change what happened. Sure, I wish it hadn’t because yes, it fucked me up, but it happened and we can’t change the past. We have to move on from this and this awkwardness isn’t helping” I continued.
“We will talk. I just prefer to not do it while I have to drive” Jack said softly. “But trust me, I want us to move on from this more than anything. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have kissed you, but I can’t.”
I nodded. “We’ll continue when we get to your house then.”
Jack nodded silently. A few minutes later we got to his house and he parked the car on the driveway and we got out.
“My brother and sister are home, but they’re not very likely to bother us” Jack said.
I followed him inside and Jack got us both a drink.
“Shall we go to my bedroom?” Jack suggested. “No funny business, I promise.”
I nodded, not very much appreciating his attempt to joke and followed him upstairs. Jack’s bedroom was a lot bigger than mine, but well, so was his house. The walls were covered in posters: mostly bands, but also some Home Alone posters and an Adventure Time poster. We sat down on his bed.
“I…” Jack started.
“Just let me go first okay?” I asked.
Jack nodded, seemingly bracing himself for what was about to come.
“I like you, Jack, I really do. And I wish I could be with you, but I can’t. Not right now. I don’t want to be a rebound again” I started.
“Again?” Jack asked.
“A couple of years ago I was good friends with a guy named Jesse” I began to explain. “To him, I was just a friend, but to me, he was more than that. He had a girlfriend though, so I never acted on my feelings. Then his girlfriend broke up with him out of the blue and he was devastated. As his friend, he came to me for comfort and we grew closer and closer to the point where we kissed and one thing led to another and soon we were dating. Looking back I know it was naïve, but at that point I really felt like he could be the one. Stupid, I know. Anyway, after a few months he began acting strange. Came up with lame excuses not to have to hang out with me. So one day, I went by his house, because I wanted to know where I stood. Turned out he avoided me because he didn’t like me anymore but didn’t have the guts to break up with me. In fact, he hadn’t liked me for a long time, but he was thankful because I helped him get over his ex. That was all I ever was to him, someone to help him get over his ex, a rebound. Because of me he was now ready to be with his “new” girlfriend, with whom he had apparently been cheating on me for weeks. I was devastated. I was young; I thought it was true love. My band mates were my best friends, even then. I’ve never really been one to be friends with girls. I always had guys around me. They were the ones that helped me through weeks of crying over that prick. Looking back, he definitely wasn’t worth it, but I couldn’t tell at the time. This is probably why my band mates aren’t very fond of you. They don’t have a problem with you as a person, just with you dating Aimee at first and then me.”
Jack was quiet for a moment, taking it all in. “But they already disliked me before I was even with Aimee…”
“Yeah, that was probably because at that point I already knew I wouldn’t have a shot with you, which can be pretty devastating as well” I shrugged.
Jack’s face fell. “I never meant to hurt you… In any way.”
“I know” I replied. “I just have a habit of falling in love head over heels very quickly so it doesn’t take much to hurt me. I don’t blame you for anything but that kiss.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you with that either. It was just… I don’t know, it felt right at the moment, until I saw the look in your eyes after you pushed me away…” Jack said.
“It did feel right. But then I realized what we were doing, and I promised myself to never be anyone’s rebound again as I will most likely be the one to get hurt” I explained.
“I understand” Jack said softly. “If it makes a difference, I too did like the kiss.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Then there’s your motivation to get over Aimee. I’m willing to wait for you Jack, but only if you’re sure you do like me like that, and that you are over Aimee.”
Jack’s POV
I felt those butterflies in my stomach I had been feeling a lot lately after she said that.
“Really?” I asked unsure.
“I think you’re great Jack. I really do. You just seem to be a bit too caught up in your feelings for Aimee to be sure about your feelings for me. Prove me you’re over her and you really like me and I’m all in” she replied.
I had to fight the urge to kiss her again. Just thinking of the look in her eyes when I did it the last time, pretty much did the trick. I couldn’t do that to her again. I had to get myself together first, I had to deserve her.
“You’re too good for me” I muttered.
Tay laughed. “Oh, I’m really not” she said. “But can we at least go back to being friends and not be awkward around each other for now?”
I nodded. “Absolutely. I missed you yesterday, my friend.”
“Did you now?” Tay asked.
I nodded. “Yes, you don’t notice how gross Alex and Haley are until you don’t have anyone to distract you from them.”
“Oh, so all I am to you is a distraction?” Tay said, faking a sad face.
“I should probably just stop talking if I don’t want to fuck this up anymore” I laughed.
I heard a knock on my door.
“Come in?” I said.
The door opened and my sister May appeared.
“Is your friend staying for diner?” she asked.
Our parents were gone for the weekend so May was making diner. I turned to look at Tay and gave her a quizzical look.
“Uh yeah sure” she replied. “I’m Tay by the way.”
“I’m May, nice to meet you” May replied.
“Hey, your names rhyme!” I exclaimed.
“You’re such a genius” May said sarcastically, before leaving my room.
“I just have to call the guys to tell them I won’t be home for diner” Tay said.
I nodded. She got her phone out and dialed a number.
“Hey, I won’t be home for diner” I heard her say.
“Why do you think that?” she said after pausing to let the person on the other side speak.
“Yes, fine, I’m at Jack’s”
“…”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you”
She then moved her phone from her ear.
“So nice to have your best friend hang up on you” she sighed.
“Look, if being at my place causes trouble between you and the guys you don’t have to stay…” I muttered.
“Jack, I’m 16 years old. I should be allowed to have diner at a friend’s house. They will come around sooner or later” Tay said. “Usually it’s really nice to have a bunch of guys look out for you, but sometimes it’s just like I have 4 fathers. Well, I suppose it makes up for my actual father not being around anymore, but well…”
I was silent for a moment. “What happened to your father?”
Tay cleared her throat. “Cancer” she muttered. “They didn’t discover it until it was too late. It had already spread too far. And of course, back then they knew less about curing cancer than they do now. Once they discovered it, he has been in the hospital for months, but it was no use. He died a few months later.”
I could tell it wasn’t easy for her to talk about and I wanted to hug her, but I wasn’t sure if I could. Where was the line to what was and what wasn’t appropriate? I decided to take my chances and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t stiffen or push me away, so I figured that was a good sign. After a few seconds she even leaned into my chest.
I was waiting for Jack at my locker. I had texted Jordan he didn’t have to pick me up because I went to Alex’s. I didn’t feel like explaining to him why I went to Jack’s. I got to leave my last period early, so it would probably be about 5 minutes until Jack got here.
A few minutes later he showed up next to me. Instead of his usual happy self, he seemed sad and possibly scared of what we were about to discuss.
“Ready?” I asked.
Jack nodded silently and I followed him to his car. We both got in, still not saying a word.
“Are we just not gonna talk until we get to your house?” I asked to break the tension.
Jack didn’t turn to look at me. “I don’t really know what I can do to make things better” he muttered.
“How about you stop thinking you have to make it up to me?” I said.
Jack didn’t reply and drove off.
“Look, we can’t change what happened. Sure, I wish it hadn’t because yes, it fucked me up, but it happened and we can’t change the past. We have to move on from this and this awkwardness isn’t helping” I continued.
“We will talk. I just prefer to not do it while I have to drive” Jack said softly. “But trust me, I want us to move on from this more than anything. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have kissed you, but I can’t.”
I nodded. “We’ll continue when we get to your house then.”
Jack nodded silently. A few minutes later we got to his house and he parked the car on the driveway and we got out.
“My brother and sister are home, but they’re not very likely to bother us” Jack said.
I followed him inside and Jack got us both a drink.
“Shall we go to my bedroom?” Jack suggested. “No funny business, I promise.”
I nodded, not very much appreciating his attempt to joke and followed him upstairs. Jack’s bedroom was a lot bigger than mine, but well, so was his house. The walls were covered in posters: mostly bands, but also some Home Alone posters and an Adventure Time poster. We sat down on his bed.
“I…” Jack started.
“Just let me go first okay?” I asked.
Jack nodded, seemingly bracing himself for what was about to come.
“I like you, Jack, I really do. And I wish I could be with you, but I can’t. Not right now. I don’t want to be a rebound again” I started.
“Again?” Jack asked.
“A couple of years ago I was good friends with a guy named Jesse” I began to explain. “To him, I was just a friend, but to me, he was more than that. He had a girlfriend though, so I never acted on my feelings. Then his girlfriend broke up with him out of the blue and he was devastated. As his friend, he came to me for comfort and we grew closer and closer to the point where we kissed and one thing led to another and soon we were dating. Looking back I know it was naïve, but at that point I really felt like he could be the one. Stupid, I know. Anyway, after a few months he began acting strange. Came up with lame excuses not to have to hang out with me. So one day, I went by his house, because I wanted to know where I stood. Turned out he avoided me because he didn’t like me anymore but didn’t have the guts to break up with me. In fact, he hadn’t liked me for a long time, but he was thankful because I helped him get over his ex. That was all I ever was to him, someone to help him get over his ex, a rebound. Because of me he was now ready to be with his “new” girlfriend, with whom he had apparently been cheating on me for weeks. I was devastated. I was young; I thought it was true love. My band mates were my best friends, even then. I’ve never really been one to be friends with girls. I always had guys around me. They were the ones that helped me through weeks of crying over that prick. Looking back, he definitely wasn’t worth it, but I couldn’t tell at the time. This is probably why my band mates aren’t very fond of you. They don’t have a problem with you as a person, just with you dating Aimee at first and then me.”
Jack was quiet for a moment, taking it all in. “But they already disliked me before I was even with Aimee…”
“Yeah, that was probably because at that point I already knew I wouldn’t have a shot with you, which can be pretty devastating as well” I shrugged.
Jack’s face fell. “I never meant to hurt you… In any way.”
“I know” I replied. “I just have a habit of falling in love head over heels very quickly so it doesn’t take much to hurt me. I don’t blame you for anything but that kiss.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you with that either. It was just… I don’t know, it felt right at the moment, until I saw the look in your eyes after you pushed me away…” Jack said.
“It did feel right. But then I realized what we were doing, and I promised myself to never be anyone’s rebound again as I will most likely be the one to get hurt” I explained.
“I understand” Jack said softly. “If it makes a difference, I too did like the kiss.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Then there’s your motivation to get over Aimee. I’m willing to wait for you Jack, but only if you’re sure you do like me like that, and that you are over Aimee.”
Jack’s POV
I felt those butterflies in my stomach I had been feeling a lot lately after she said that.
“Really?” I asked unsure.
“I think you’re great Jack. I really do. You just seem to be a bit too caught up in your feelings for Aimee to be sure about your feelings for me. Prove me you’re over her and you really like me and I’m all in” she replied.
I had to fight the urge to kiss her again. Just thinking of the look in her eyes when I did it the last time, pretty much did the trick. I couldn’t do that to her again. I had to get myself together first, I had to deserve her.
“You’re too good for me” I muttered.
Tay laughed. “Oh, I’m really not” she said. “But can we at least go back to being friends and not be awkward around each other for now?”
I nodded. “Absolutely. I missed you yesterday, my friend.”
“Did you now?” Tay asked.
I nodded. “Yes, you don’t notice how gross Alex and Haley are until you don’t have anyone to distract you from them.”
“Oh, so all I am to you is a distraction?” Tay said, faking a sad face.
“I should probably just stop talking if I don’t want to fuck this up anymore” I laughed.
I heard a knock on my door.
“Come in?” I said.
The door opened and my sister May appeared.
“Is your friend staying for diner?” she asked.
Our parents were gone for the weekend so May was making diner. I turned to look at Tay and gave her a quizzical look.
“Uh yeah sure” she replied. “I’m Tay by the way.”
“I’m May, nice to meet you” May replied.
“Hey, your names rhyme!” I exclaimed.
“You’re such a genius” May said sarcastically, before leaving my room.
“I just have to call the guys to tell them I won’t be home for diner” Tay said.
I nodded. She got her phone out and dialed a number.
“Hey, I won’t be home for diner” I heard her say.
“Why do you think that?” she said after pausing to let the person on the other side speak.
“Yes, fine, I’m at Jack’s”
“…”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you”
She then moved her phone from her ear.
“So nice to have your best friend hang up on you” she sighed.
“Look, if being at my place causes trouble between you and the guys you don’t have to stay…” I muttered.
“Jack, I’m 16 years old. I should be allowed to have diner at a friend’s house. They will come around sooner or later” Tay said. “Usually it’s really nice to have a bunch of guys look out for you, but sometimes it’s just like I have 4 fathers. Well, I suppose it makes up for my actual father not being around anymore, but well…”
I was silent for a moment. “What happened to your father?”
Tay cleared her throat. “Cancer” she muttered. “They didn’t discover it until it was too late. It had already spread too far. And of course, back then they knew less about curing cancer than they do now. Once they discovered it, he has been in the hospital for months, but it was no use. He died a few months later.”
I could tell it wasn’t easy for her to talk about and I wanted to hug her, but I wasn’t sure if I could. Where was the line to what was and what wasn’t appropriate? I decided to take my chances and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t stiffen or push me away, so I figured that was a good sign. After a few seconds she even leaned into my chest.