I Guess I'll Never Get To Call You Mine
JEFF
When Sébastien’s name appeared in my caller ID I was tempted not to pick up. The last time he called I ended up getting almost killed in his crazy driving, and was arrested and thrown to jail by the police. Seb, Aline and J.S. were so shocked on Chuck’s marriage that they forgot to bail me out until hours later. This had been extremely inconvenient because J.S. had puked on me at the car and I had to stay in my cell for ages in my stinky clothes.
“Seb, it’s too early in the morning to call. What do you want?” I snapped. “It’s Chuck, Jeff. He was hit by a car last night and is in hospital.” “What?! I’m on my way. Which hospital?” “Hey it’s fine I’ve offered to pick everyone up.” “If you think I’m going back into a car with you then think again. Stay where you are. I’m picking you up.” “But—” I hung up the phone. Problem solved.
The nurse wasn’t too pleased with the number of people clamoring to see Chuck. Besides all of us Simple Plan members, The Youngbloods decided to pay a call too. After promises that we be very quiet, we were eventually ushered into Chuck’s room. It was decided that Pierre, Seb, David and I would go first, followed by the Young siblings.
“Mr. Comeau, your band mates from Simple Plan are here to see you,” the nurse announced. What happened next was unexpected. “What?! Not them!” He shook his head frantically. “Nurse, can you please get them to leave? I don’t want to see them.” “Hey Chuck I know you’ve been upset for the past couple of months, but come on, we’re worried about you,” Seb pleaded. But Chuck only looked at him as if he were a pineapple.
“Who are you?” he finally said. “What?” Seb blinked. “I’m Seb.” When that answer provoked for response, Seb hesitated before trying again, “Sébastien? Sébastien Lefebvre? Simple Plan’s awesome guitarist?” He whirled around at the nurse. “What’s wrong with him? Has he suffered a concussion or something?” “Oh, I have forgotten to inform you. The doctor said he’d lost his memory.” “He WHAT?!” “It might take some time for them to recover. I’ll leave you alone with him for the meantime. Maybe he’ll remember something after you talked to him.” She opened the door and left the room.
“Chuck, it’s us,” I said. “I’m Jeff. Well, actually it’s Jean François, but I never liked that. Oh, and I’m Simple Plan’s most awesome guitarist by the way, not Seb.” “And I’m Pierre,” Pierre said quickly. “The awesome lead singer. That’s David, the not-so-awesome bassist.” “I’m the one with the nicest ass though.” “Whatever, but I have the bluest eyes.” “You’re the only one with blue eyes.” “Exactly!” “Jeff’s the one with the least amount of hair.” “Oh shut up!”
“Yes, I’ve been told about you guys,” Chuck interrupted. “I heard you tried to kick me out of the band.” “We what?” David exclaimed. “Chuck we’d never do that! Who told you we did? Okay I know it’s been tough these past couple of months, but you were the one who isolated yourself from the rest of us.” “Why should I believe you? Maybe the reason I kept to myself is because you’re all just hypocrites.” David looked at us helplessly, as if saying, What the hell is he talking about?
Pierre tried next. “Listen Chuck, I didn’t know what’s gotten into you, but we’re your friends.” “No you’re not,” Chuck said, his voice raising now. “And if you don’t get out right now I can ring for security.” Before any of us can respond to that the door opened and the Youngs came bustling in. “What’s going? We heard shouting,” Sean said. “Are you guys OK?”
“Oh, great,” Chuck muttered. “Now who are all these people?” “He’s lost his memory,” Seb explained. “And he thinks we’re the bad guys.” “You’re joking.” “No I’m perfectly serious. In fact he’s about to call security on us. Go and ask him if he remembers you if you don’t believe me.” “Well, I, um, hi,” Sean finally said. “I’m Sean, and this is Marcus, Randy, Jay and Aline. I’m not sure what happened but—” “Wait, so you’re Aline Young.” Chuck narrowed his eyes at her. “I’ve been told about you. Some friend you are, plotting against me like that with your boyfriend.” “What?” Aline blinked, as Randy mouthed You have a boyfriend?
“Oh shut up,” Aline snapped, before turning to Chuck. “Charles, I didn’t know what you were talking about. I’ve never plotted against you for anything, and I didn’t have a boyfriend.” “Yes you did.” Chuck inclined his head toward David, who opened his mouth in shock. “I never even asked her out!” he protested. “That’s not important. Chuck, last night you were supposed to meet me. You told me you had something you wanted to say. Here, read that. That’s your handwriting.” She thrust a piece of paper toward him. “I can’t convince you we’re your friends, and apparently neither can these guys, but I assure you we’re on your side. But I know it’s been a rough night for you so in meantime we’ll leave you alone to get some rest.”
“Sis…” Sean placed a hand on his sister’s shoulder, and she turned toward him. I never saw her looked so unwell in my whole life. She looked like as if she was in pain. “Come on guys, let’s go,” she said flatly. “There’s nothing more to do here.” The others looked like they were about to object, but eventually, one by one, we followed her out of the door. I was the last to leave, and as I turned over my shoulder for a last glance, I saw Chuck reading that piece of paper with a lost look on his face, as if the world doesn’t make sense to him anymore.
“Seb, it’s too early in the morning to call. What do you want?” I snapped. “It’s Chuck, Jeff. He was hit by a car last night and is in hospital.” “What?! I’m on my way. Which hospital?” “Hey it’s fine I’ve offered to pick everyone up.” “If you think I’m going back into a car with you then think again. Stay where you are. I’m picking you up.” “But—” I hung up the phone. Problem solved.
The nurse wasn’t too pleased with the number of people clamoring to see Chuck. Besides all of us Simple Plan members, The Youngbloods decided to pay a call too. After promises that we be very quiet, we were eventually ushered into Chuck’s room. It was decided that Pierre, Seb, David and I would go first, followed by the Young siblings.
“Mr. Comeau, your band mates from Simple Plan are here to see you,” the nurse announced. What happened next was unexpected. “What?! Not them!” He shook his head frantically. “Nurse, can you please get them to leave? I don’t want to see them.” “Hey Chuck I know you’ve been upset for the past couple of months, but come on, we’re worried about you,” Seb pleaded. But Chuck only looked at him as if he were a pineapple.
“Who are you?” he finally said. “What?” Seb blinked. “I’m Seb.” When that answer provoked for response, Seb hesitated before trying again, “Sébastien? Sébastien Lefebvre? Simple Plan’s awesome guitarist?” He whirled around at the nurse. “What’s wrong with him? Has he suffered a concussion or something?” “Oh, I have forgotten to inform you. The doctor said he’d lost his memory.” “He WHAT?!” “It might take some time for them to recover. I’ll leave you alone with him for the meantime. Maybe he’ll remember something after you talked to him.” She opened the door and left the room.
“Chuck, it’s us,” I said. “I’m Jeff. Well, actually it’s Jean François, but I never liked that. Oh, and I’m Simple Plan’s most awesome guitarist by the way, not Seb.” “And I’m Pierre,” Pierre said quickly. “The awesome lead singer. That’s David, the not-so-awesome bassist.” “I’m the one with the nicest ass though.” “Whatever, but I have the bluest eyes.” “You’re the only one with blue eyes.” “Exactly!” “Jeff’s the one with the least amount of hair.” “Oh shut up!”
“Yes, I’ve been told about you guys,” Chuck interrupted. “I heard you tried to kick me out of the band.” “We what?” David exclaimed. “Chuck we’d never do that! Who told you we did? Okay I know it’s been tough these past couple of months, but you were the one who isolated yourself from the rest of us.” “Why should I believe you? Maybe the reason I kept to myself is because you’re all just hypocrites.” David looked at us helplessly, as if saying, What the hell is he talking about?
Pierre tried next. “Listen Chuck, I didn’t know what’s gotten into you, but we’re your friends.” “No you’re not,” Chuck said, his voice raising now. “And if you don’t get out right now I can ring for security.” Before any of us can respond to that the door opened and the Youngs came bustling in. “What’s going? We heard shouting,” Sean said. “Are you guys OK?”
“Oh, great,” Chuck muttered. “Now who are all these people?” “He’s lost his memory,” Seb explained. “And he thinks we’re the bad guys.” “You’re joking.” “No I’m perfectly serious. In fact he’s about to call security on us. Go and ask him if he remembers you if you don’t believe me.” “Well, I, um, hi,” Sean finally said. “I’m Sean, and this is Marcus, Randy, Jay and Aline. I’m not sure what happened but—” “Wait, so you’re Aline Young.” Chuck narrowed his eyes at her. “I’ve been told about you. Some friend you are, plotting against me like that with your boyfriend.” “What?” Aline blinked, as Randy mouthed You have a boyfriend?
“Oh shut up,” Aline snapped, before turning to Chuck. “Charles, I didn’t know what you were talking about. I’ve never plotted against you for anything, and I didn’t have a boyfriend.” “Yes you did.” Chuck inclined his head toward David, who opened his mouth in shock. “I never even asked her out!” he protested. “That’s not important. Chuck, last night you were supposed to meet me. You told me you had something you wanted to say. Here, read that. That’s your handwriting.” She thrust a piece of paper toward him. “I can’t convince you we’re your friends, and apparently neither can these guys, but I assure you we’re on your side. But I know it’s been a rough night for you so in meantime we’ll leave you alone to get some rest.”
“Sis…” Sean placed a hand on his sister’s shoulder, and she turned toward him. I never saw her looked so unwell in my whole life. She looked like as if she was in pain. “Come on guys, let’s go,” she said flatly. “There’s nothing more to do here.” The others looked like they were about to object, but eventually, one by one, we followed her out of the door. I was the last to leave, and as I turned over my shoulder for a last glance, I saw Chuck reading that piece of paper with a lost look on his face, as if the world doesn’t make sense to him anymore.