Oh, Catastrophe

“Baby? Wake up... Come on Sweetheart... Come on.”
The voice became such a deep echo in his head that his stomach clenched and he could do nothing but spring to life to release fowl liquids into the toilet that was in front of him. His head pounding louder than any beat he’s ever played.

Kelly stood behind him, delicately pulling the hair away from his face and trying her best to remain calm. He failed to report to Prescott this morning and the doctor called her with serious concern. She sped to his house only to find him laying against the tub, bottle of pills clutched in one hand and morphine needle not to far from him. For a moment her eyes swelled in tears but she knew this was another episode... Another day she has to watch the one she loves battle the demons inside him. He wasn’t dead; this she knew; his pills weren't something you could simply overdose on and he never took a deadly amount of morphine. Just enough to get himself passed out and just enough pills to convince himself the voices in his head would go away. But she knew the concoction stirring inside of his veins was something to worry about in other terms.

She checked his pulse like Prescott instructed her the first incident and then induced vomiting. It was a few minutes before he came to; sobbing quietly and then more violently.
“I don’t want to do this a-a-anymore!” He buried his face in his hands, “I’m so sick Kelly. I’m so sick and tired and I just can’t anymore.”
She held him against her chest, running her fingers through his hair and whispering gently, “It’s ok baby... I got you... We can get through this together ok? I believe in you.. With everything you’ve went through; you’re the strongest and bravest man I have ever known.”

Coward.

“I’m a coward. I’m pathetic, I can’t do anything right. I have nothing set out for me and I just-”
“Don’t you dare say that!”

You’re so close Angelo... She smells so sweet.

Angelo seemed revolted and, without thinking about the action, shoved Kelly away in disgust. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t want to scare her. But inside, he so desired to scream: Don’t talk about her! He didn’t want the voice to acknowledge her, to take joy in her scents and have lust fill it’s voice. A fowl lust for something far more than sex.
He didn’t want to hear the voice even utter her name. It’s taboo. Whenever the thought of her entered his mind it would twist images of horror and chuckle as his muscles tensed. His heart ached to love her like he used to.. If only she knew about everything he was protecting her from; the true horrors of his thoughts every time he drifted off into thoughts about spending long nights with her... the darkness that covered such innocent thoughts. The violence, cruelty, terror. He shook his head and whimpered, just thinking about it tensed his muscles so much he wanted to vomit again.

“Baby?”
He jumped, staring at her with such an empty look that her heart began to beat in erratic fear.
“Angelo?”
He wasn’t even looking at her anymore yet there was such a stillness to him.. Such a calm air.
“Angelo... Come on, let’s go lay down.”
He glanced at her for what seemed like a millisecond but did nothing.
She sighed, slowly standing to her feet and taking his hand in hers, “Come on... Stand up.”
He was so cold and so stiff. If Prescott didn’t warn her about his illness, she would’ve taken him for dead. Angelo was quite the strange case. His episodes always varying from spacing out to doing things he’ll never remember doing. She didn’t like seeing him suffer like this. Or seeing the pained look on his face whenever his thoughts were invaded.
She practically dragged him to the bed, pushing him down upon it and undressing him so he may lay comfortably. She too got comfortable, sliding into bed with him and wrapping her arms around his torso.
“You’ll be ok baby... I promise.” She bit her quivering lip and buried her face in his side; trying to forget the emptiness in his blank stare.

~

“Where am I...?”
“Hello Angelo.”

Angelo opened his eyes, looking up into the darkness to see the glowing outline of a figure. He looked around his surrounding... His vision lagging like a computer game with bad frame rate, sending his vision into a blur before refocusing. It was so dark. The only color in this place was the phantom green glow of the figure in front of him. It appeared to be wearing some kind of hood.

“Who are you?” He spoke out, voice echoing for what seemed like forever. He took a few heavy steps forward, his boots echoing.
“You know who I am. Let’s not be arrogant now.” The figured tossed it’s head back in a chuckle and for a moment he caught a glimpse of it’s face.
His stomach twisted painfully.
“Come on Angelo... Say it. Say my name.”
“No, it can’t. You’re not-”
He didn’t even blink but suddenly the figure was right in front of his face... He could feel it’s icy breath against his lips and could clearly see the black make-up he had spent years mastering, plastered against it’s mouth.
“Surprise.”

He jumped back and .. it was gone. For a minute he relaxed and in that minute he slipped. There was an endless chuckle amongst the darkness, flashes of memories with his friends being devoured by the dark. Many memories being burned and replaced with psychotic fantasies of someone that was not him. He saw himself shoot the man.. Again and again and again. But this time, he had a smile on his face. The memory was twisted so it seemed like Angelo shot the man in spite, chuckling as cops arrested him and longing to get a look at the splattered brains on the field. The feeling of wanting to watch the flesh burn from Chris’ bones as he watched.

“No! It didn’t happen like that!”
“But you wanted it too... Oh there’s so many things you want to do!”
A tainted memory of the first night he and Kelly spent together. A dinner, a movie, heavy petting on his mattress. Hot kisses as his hands snaked up her stomach but they did not stop amongst her bare breasts. He could feel her vein under his thumb, the muscles flexing as he grasped her sculpted neck. She’d swallow, thinking it a sexual game. But he’d squeeze, applying more and more pressure until the heart beat carried within the veins were so clear to him.

Her eyes would shoot open, small hands and manicured nails clawing at his as he straddled his chest, laughing a horrid laugh that made him want to scream for mercy. Beg himself to stop what he was doing. He clawed at the image but every time he mishapened it, it’d snap back into perfection forcing him to watch.
“STOP! PLEASE!”
“Please?”
“ANGELO PLEASE!” He’d scream at himself, begging.
“Oh no... I don’t believe it’s me who really needs to stop.”
Her gags became louder, her face becoming purple.
He watched as her nails clawed at his hands drawing blood- No. Something’s different.
He FELT her nails digging into his hands. He looked down at them in time to see little drops of blood sprout. He started to panic, the world around him collapsing again into darkness and-

She continued to claw. He wanted to let go but his muscles were locked.
She gagged, choking, begging; “Ang--ello.”
It was like his eyes were open again and he looked down at the purple faced Kelly in frozen shock.