Love, Lies, and Friendship

"Oh c'mon Oli it was hilarious!"

"Caught in the act mate!!"

"Can't believe you make noises like a girl."

"Don't be angry mate, we've all seen it, or been caught ourselves-"

"SHUT UP!! Please...." I yelled at my friends who were all laughing their heads off as we sat in a bar, drinking beers and eating nachos.

"I hate you." I whispered to Josh who grinned and laughed.

"Nah you love me really." He grabbed me and kissed my cheek jokingly, making the others laugh and my cheeks feel hot.

They teased me throughout the entire night, no matter what we talked about, someone would find a way to make it about what had happened. It was humiliating. It wouldn't bother me so much, but it was the thing that I'd been getting off to that embarrassed me. Not that they knew what that was, but still, it haunted my every thought and action until I went home, with Josh of course.

We sat on the floor, backs resting against the couch, giggling drunkenly, when I figured, in my overly-relaxed mind that it wouldn't matter if I opened up a little bit.
"Josh?" He mumbled.
"Have you ever....thought about...someone, in a sexual way...someone that...you never thought you'd think about?"

"Yeah...I used to have a crush on my science teacher."

"No. I mean....someone you weren't supposed to fancy."

"I had a bit of a thing for Max's ex-girlfriend when I first met her." I nodded.

"What about....a guy?" He looked at me.

"Yeah. Once, back in school."

"Tell me."

"It was just this guy, he was really fucking badass, like no one would've ever messed with him. But he was really openly gay. I never knew how he did that, but I always thought he was pretty hot. Why? Oh!!! Oh my god...." Josh tried to get into a kneeling position and fell over, sprawling across the floor laughing uncontrollably. I chuckled at him and waited for him to sit up.

"....is....is this why you've been so weird? You...you like a guy?" I nodded slowly, Josh grinned.

"Who?"

"Just some guy. You don't know him. Point is...." I trailed off and Josh poked me gently.

"It's normal. Totally. Every guy thinks about another guy a little bit at least once in their lives." I nodded and met Josh's eyes. He hadn't moved back yet, and my heart started hammering as he got closer.

"Josh...?"

"Yeah?"

"What're you doing?"

"Who's the guy?" He whispered hoarsely. I swallowed and met his eyes, drunk-induced lust convincing me that it was a good idea when his lips softly met mine. A wave of heat instantly rushed over me and I got even more embarrassed when I felt my cheeks burning. He kissed me again, slightly harder this time and I kissed back, looping my arms around his shoulders loosely. He stood up clumsily, pulling me with him by my waist. He sat me on the back of the couch and stood between my legs, kissing me again with one hand on the back of my head as he ran his tongue along my lips, me opening them eagerly so his tongue could rub against mine and make me feel weak.

His hands squeezed my hips slightly before running up my sides, taking my shirt with them. I pulled his off too and gasped when he undid my trousers, hand suddenly around me. I couldn't help but buck into his hand slightly and all of a sudden he was pulling me into my room, the nearest one, and pushing me down on the bed.

I stroked myself lazily as he stripped off the rest of his clothes and then pulled off what remained of mine. My heart started doing backflips again as he crawled up my body, kissing as he went. He kissed me again, rougher and rougher until we were both practically shaking with arousal.
He leant back and looked at me.
"Can I...?" I just pulled him back down to me, no words necessary.

I woke up groggily, my head pounding, mouth dry, and the sheets around my naked body feeling like sandpaper on my over-sensitive skin.
I stood up slowly, groaning inwardly as nausea washed over me. Last night must've been good. I took a few steps and pain shot up through me, I cursed and kept walking to the bathroom. Once in the room, I grabbed a mirror and tried to see where the pain was shooting up from. I couldn't see and put the mirror back, going to the loo before drinking some water out of the tap and going back to bed.

I walked into the room and froze. Josh was laid out, fast asleep, in my bed. I hadn't realised he was there when I first woke up, and I let my eyes wander guiltily down his bare torso to his defined hips, where the sheet was draped over him. I prayed that the thing I thought had happened, hadn't, and grabbed my clothes off the floor. I was pulling them on hurriedly when I heard him move. I didn't dare turn round, and continued dressing slowly.

"Oli?" Panic began to rise in my chest and I turned round. Josh looked at me in confusion.

"What's going on....?" I couldn't say anything, feeling like a rabbit in headlights, I couldn't look away from his eyes. He looked around and shuffled upwards, he met my eyes again and I knew he'd figured it out. He got out of the bed, yanking on his clothes and pushed past me.

"Josh!" He slammed the door behind him. Devastation hit me and I sunk to the floor, tears beginning to well up in my eyes, until I got angry and hammered my fists on the wall repeatedly, not stopping before they were bloody and painful.

I could have just lost my best friend, and the man....judging by the pain in my chest....the man I'm in love with.