Love, Lies, and Friendship

Over the course of that day, memories of the night before flooded back until I had a pretty clear picture of what had happened.

I forced myself to do all the chores that needed to be done, and generally tried to keep busy so I wouldn't just be waiting for Josh to come home.
By eleven o'clock that night, I realised that probably wasn't going to happen.

I was woken up the next morning by the sound of the door clicking. When I realised who it would be I scrambled to my feet. Josh stood awkwardly and gestured towards the bedroom.
"I'm just here to get my stuff. Max said I could stay with him for a while anyways so-" He walked towards the room as he spoke and I rushed ahead, cutting him off by standing in the doorway.

"No. Josh you can't leave like this, we can't leave things like this between us! Not after everything-"

"Get out of the way."

"Josh!! For god's sake can't we get past this-"

"No!!" The ferocity in his voice shocked me and he sighed.
"No...we can't Oli."

"Why not?"

"WE HAD-" he cut himself off and breathed heavily for a minute before continuing in a quieter tone.
"We...we..."

"You can't even say it can you?"

"Should I be able to?! You're meant to be my best friend!"

"Don't try and make this sound like it was all my fault and you had no choice in the matter!!! You kissed me first!"

"What?"

"We came back here, I asked you if you'd ever thought about someone in a way that you knew you shouldn't?" His expression was blank.
"You told me you liked your science teacher? And Max's girlfriend? Then I asked you if you'd ever thought about a guy, and you told me about that guy in school-"

"Shut up."

"Then you realised that I'd been so weird cause I'd been thinking about a guy, and you kissed me. Granted, I kissed back, but you started it, and you started taking off my clothes first-"

"SHUT UP!!!" He screamed, his fist propelling towards me at such a rate that it hardly registered in my mind before it connected with my mouth, sending me reeling back in pain and shock. My initial reaction was anger, and I lunged forwards, pushing against him and sending us both crashing to the ground. I hardly noticed the pain in my knee from crashing onto the floor and some unknown object, and fought with him violently, managing to stay on top as we wrestled with each other.
I brought my fist up, and couldn't bring it down again. I punched the floor next to his head so hard I made the healing injuries on my knuckles reopen. He looked up at me, shocked that I hadn't punched him. I climbed off him and cried out in pain, falling back to the floor as my knee slid out of place under the pressure of my body weight.
Josh rushed forwards and I shoved him away, cursing and fighting back tears, not at the pain, but the fact that we'd just fought. The fact that he'd punched me, and I had been too weak to hit him back.

"Oli - are you ok?" I just held onto my leg, trying my best to keep it still.
"Is it broken? - answer me!! Do you need to go to the hospital? Fuck it, you're going." He came forwards and tried to pull at me, I fought with him again and ended up screaming at him this time.

"Leave me alone!!!" I turned away from him as several tears started to run down my face.

"Oli I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please, let me take you to the hospital, I think it's broken. Please?" He awkwardly helped me up, down the stairs, into his car and drove shakily to the hospital.

Josh spent the next few hours cursing profusely as we were forced to wait in the reception for what felt like years. He spent the whole time pacing around, muttering about how disorganised and stupidly under pressure hospitals were, and how "we pay taxes for this!?!" I just zoned out and got lost in my thoughts about the fight, so much so that it took Josh pulling me to my feet for me to realise that a nurse had called out my name.

I broke my kneecap.

After a lot of talking, having a cast put on, paperwork and finally painkillers, the nurse left for a few moments. Leaving me, in my drug-induced state alone with Josh.
"How are you feeling?"

"Fuckin' wonderful mate...." I giggled at the sound of my own voice and Josh sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry." I shrugged and he settled into a position with his head in his hands. I ruffled his hair gently and laughed, he forced a small smile before helping me up, and then carrying me to the car when he realised I wasn't going to be able to walk. I snuggled into his warm body like a child, only vaguely aware of what I was doing. Josh took us home and put me in bed, I was already falling asleep when he planted a kiss on my forehead before leaving.

In the morning I woke up with a dry mouth and a dull ache in my knee. I groaned as I picked up my crutches and dropped one. I struggled to reach for it before standing up and Josh walked in. He was only in his boxer shorts, and obviously surprised to find me awake. He quickly bent to pick up my crutch for me and I nodded gratefully.
"How are you today?"

"Alright thanks."

"Oli I'm sorry-"

"Forget it. I fought with you too."

"For a fair reason! I was a complete dick yesterday and it's not fair-"

"Relax. It's ok. Friends fight. Just like friends have the odd shag, Josh? I'm kidding! Chill out." He nodded rigidly and I sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter, the cold stone against my bare back making me wince.

"You are never gonna be ok with that are you? Josh it was one time, it happened, so what?"

"It just makes me feel..."

"I know. But we have to get past it, I mean, it's you and me." He smiled genuinely at that and nodded. Walking forwards he surprised me by wrapping his arms round me gently.

"I guess that's true." I smiled into his shoulder and then pulled away, missing the contact, and started discussing breakfast.

Maybe, as long as I didn't go back to where I was before, maybe things could start getting back to normal.