Us Against the World.

After the incident at the carnival, I avoided Harry at all cost. So when Quinn said that they were going back to touring, I thought that I would feel better because then I didn’t have to see or talk to him anymore. What I didn’t expect was to feel this dull ache in my chest whenever my thought wondered to a certain curly haired boy. It’s frustrating and it’s so unlike me.

He did try to call and text me but I never answered any of them. But when I received them, I felt butterflies in my stomach and I didn’t know what to do about it. The only time I ever felt this way was when I was still with Michael. And it’s not an experience that I wanted to repeat any time in my life. At one point, Louis called me to practically yell at me to stop being stubborn and talk to Harry already. But of course the yelling didn’t last long because he wanted to talk about Quinn. I was a mess of feelings and nerves; what with the stress of the competition and work. And I was actually glad that Quinn was over at her dad’s place. I wasn’t a pleasant person to be around when I was under pressure.

All my hard work was wasted when I lost the competition and didn’t get the scholarship. To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. I was actually really confident that I could win this but I guess it’s just not meant to be. My mum also had been calling me to press me on the same issue over and over again. She didn’t even bother to hide the fact that she’s actually happy when I lost the competition. She also kept pressuring me into finding a man to settle down. And asked me to bring a date to my cousin, Andy’s wedding. Add to that, and this constant thoughts of Harry that kept popping in my head, I was slowly going insane. I even started to listen to their song! So when Louis told me that they’re coming back for Halloween and wanted to spend the holiday with us, I was bombarded with mixed feelings.

When the boys and the girls arrived, I hugged all of them except Harry. I saw Louis rolled his eyes at me but I ignored him as well and we all went to the living room. Louis and Quinn were sitting huddled close together on a love seat and Liam and Sophie took their spot on the floor, also close together. Zayn sat on an armchair with Perrie perched on his lap. This left only a couch and Harry was already seated on it. He was staring at me and I could tell that he wanted me to sit next to him. But I immediately pulled Niall who was still standing near me and made him sit between me and Harry. Niall shot me a confused look while Harry looked hurt.

“Horror movies time!” I exclaimed, trying to ignore this tugging sensation I felt in my heart to see Harry’s expression. I turned on Insidious and we started watching. Half way through the movie, Niall got up and announced that he had to go to the loo. As soon as Niall got up, Harry scooted closer to me and I really just wanted to bolt. He however grabbed my wrist to stop me from moving away.

“Mel,” he called softly, as not to draw attention to us. I bit my lower lip and fixed my eyes on the TV. I would not look at him. I would pretend that he wasn’t there. I definitely didn’t feel anything when his skin touched mine. I definitely didn’t feel all the awful feelings I had before melted as soon as he got close to me. No, I definitely didn’t feel all that at all. “Can we talk? Did I do something wrong?” he asked and I almost crumbled at the tone of his voice. He sounded so defeated and tired. Wrenching my wrist from his grasp, I got up, earning a look from Louis and Quinn.

“I’m… I’m going to get more sodas,” I announced and made my way to the kitchen without even looking at Harry. Upon entering the kitchen, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. This was a bad idea, a really bad idea. I wiped my face a few times and ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to sort out my own thoughts.

I didn’t have long though as a few moments later, Louis came into the kitchen with Harry in tow. Louis had an annoyed expression written all over his face as Harry was still staring at me with that same intensity and I didn’t think I could handle this. Not now, not ever. “Now, Mel, I don’t know what happened between the two of you but you need to sort it out,” Louis said sternly.

“Nothing’s happened Lou,” I responded, trying to walk out but he stopped me.

“No, Mel. These past few months Harry’s been moping around and it’s hell being on tour with him. So you better work things out before we leave again or I swear to God…”

“What’ll you do, Lou?” I asked, my tone taunting. He gave me a look that basically said, ‘don’t test me, Mel.’ I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest, huffing, just to show my protest. Louis paid no attention to me as he pulled on Harry’s arm and pushed the younger boy towards me.

“Now, talk and whatever. Don’t ever get out before you sort everything out,” Louis reminded before walking away. I turned away as soon as Louis left, my back facing Harry. I felt him moving closer and I tried to regulate my own breathing.

“I’m sorry.” His simple words frustrated me more than ever. Why did he keep apologizing to me? He didn’t do anything wrong. He shouldn’t even bother. He should leave me and never speak to me and just pretend like he never know me. Why did he have to be so nice and sweet and everything? I felt he put his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged him off. “Mel… please.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Harry,” I said, still not looking at him.

“Let me in, Mel. Open up to me,” he requested softly. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and shook my head. “Why do you feel like you have to keep everything bottled up inside of you? Why do you have to keep acting strong?” I clenched my fists so tight that my knuckles turned white but still I didn’t say anything. “If you don’t want to talk about what made you upset the last time we met, fine, I won’t make you. But right now, I know you’re not in your best condition. You’re stressed out. Want to talk about that?”

“What do you want?” I asked quietly, not trusting my voice to speak normally.

“I want you to talk. I want you to let me know what’s in that head of yours.”

“There’s nothing…”

“That’s bull, Mel and we both know that. Don’t you dare telling me that there’s nothing interesting about you. Or that it’s not important. It’s damn well important. You can’t repress everything. It’s not healthy.” I took a few steps forward, closer to the counter and gripped the edge of the counter tightly. “I know you’re disappointed that you lost that scholarship. I know it may…”

“You don’t know anything,” I cut him off and spun around. “Don’t go around acting kind and caring because I just… I can’t… please don’t…” I tucked strand hair behind my ear and looked down, biting down on my lower lip.

“Why won’t you just let me in?” He sounded frustrated now and he should be. He should be frustrated and he would give up and I would live my life as before again. “Why?” he pressed, moving in closer but I put my hand in front of me, stopping him.

“I’m scared, Harry! I’m beyond terrified. These feelings… they make me vulnerable and I hate it. I hate being vulnerable. The last time I opened up myself to someone, I was left broken and I don’t want that. I can’t do that anymore.” Harry looked shocked at my sudden outburst. “I’m a mess, Harry. I’d told myself over and over again for years that I can’t count on others. I have to work hard. I have to be independent. Nothing, no one in this world will always be there and in the end, it’s all me. Alone.”

“You have your family,” he said. I snorted at that. Yeah, a family that thought that I was a disappointment. A family that made me feel like a stranger. “And you have Quinn.” He was right. At least I had Quinn. “You have Louis. You have the boys and the girls. And…” He stopped there, taking a step closer. “And you have me. I won’t leave, Mel.” I laughed humourlessly at that and shook my head.

“You will. People always will leave.”

“I promise…”

“Don’t!” I stopped him. “Don’t promise something that you’re not sure you can keep. Just don’t.”

“Someone broke their promises, didn’t they? And that’s why you’re so afraid of trusting again, am I right?” he kept on pressing and I just wanted to get away. “Tell me.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. Well, he wanted to know, right? Fine! I’d tell him.

“When I was in my final year at the uni,” I started and Harry was surprised to see that I finally wanted to actually tell a story about my life. He probably expected me to be stubborn still. Well, let him see how pathetic I truly was. And he would leave. And that wouldn’t hurt, not one bit, I tried to tell myself. “I got to know this bloke. His name’s Michael. He’s a first year student. And… we started going out and he was sweet at first.” I took a deep breath and tried to school my face into a mask of indifference. “But after a year, I found out that he was only dating me because of some sick bet. Apparently, they thought it’d be funny to see a ‘tough girl’ like myself crumble.” I laughed bitterly at the memory. “He was… he was my first relationship. My first crush. My first love. My first everything.”

“Oh, Mel,” Harry said, coming closer and pulled me into a hug, probably thinking that I would break down and cry. But I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t cry because it’s not worth it. Michael’s a dick and he’s not worth my tears. I pushed Harry away, my face void of any emotions.

“And since then, I just swore to myself that I won’t let that happen again.” I looked pointedly at him. “I’m pathetic, Harry. I’m pathetic and I’m a mess. If you’re smart, you better walk away now.” Harry gave me a smile and moved impossibly closer, leaning in so that our faces were just merely inches apart.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not known for my smartness then,” he said and the next thing I knew, he’d closed the gap between us and pressed his lips against mine. I was too dumbfounded to do anything and the kiss was simple, just a press of lips against lips. I didn’t see fireworks or feel electricity jolts like in the romance novels but my heart did skip beats. And my stomach was doing back flips and butterflies swarming in my tummy. When my mind finally registered what happened, we pulled away abruptly as we heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. I quickly looked down, trying to hide my face when I saw Niall standing near the door of the kitchen with a smirk on his face.

“Thought want to get some water. But… go on, continue. I’ll be with the others,” he said, gesturing suggestively towards us and walked off, whistling obnoxiously.

“Um…” I started but found myself not knowing what to say. Harry still had that smile on his face as he stared at me with that intense gaze. “The talk is over, I guess,” I finally said, pushing pass him and walked out of the kitchen in a daze. When I reached the living room, Louis looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I pointedly ignored him as I took my seat on the end of the couch. Not too long after that, Harry came out and pushed Niall so that he could take his seat next to me, still smiling. This time, when he took my hand into his, I didn’t pull away and I found myself smiling too.