She Ain't You

With the ring on her finger, I could tell Autumn was a bit unsure of herself about the whole thing. But the more she looked at it, the more we talked about it, she started to become more comfortable with the idea of becoming Mrs. Crosby.

The saddest part of this decision to move to New York, was that I felt obligated to keep it all to myself until it happened. The playoffs were mere weeks away at this point, my friends were patching up their relationships and Geno, well he was the hardest one of all to talk to sometimes. Ever since the devastating lost in the Olympics, not to be a total critic but he wasn’t playing to his ability. He knew it, I knew it, everyone knew it and even when I told him day after day that the Olympics don’t matter anymore, it still is a fresh and deep wound to him.

This weekend was the always exciting Flyers games, Geno had already told me he’d rather not have me come to Philadelphia and I respected him in that decision. So here I sat in my condo alone and I made the executive decision to start packing. So I did, while the radio commentary of the game was on full blast so I could hear it throughout my home.

I had had boxes delivered to me over the past few weeks, secretly stashing them under my bed so no one would see them. So I put them together and started to put books and cds in them, admiring some memories and gifts people had bought me, such as a Sidney Crosby collectors autobiography Sid had got me for my birthday one year. Many things around the place made me tear up.

When Autumn and Keirstyn came in, they found me sitting on my bedroom floor, wearing one of Geno’s sweat shirts and with no pants on. It was normal, but their eyes weren’t on me but on the labeled boxes I had filled. With a few tissues set behind me, my eyes were puffy and I was just upset. They both sat on the bed, looking down at me.

“So you’re really going?” Autumn asked, her eyes scanning the room.

“Yeah” I breathed out like a sigh, my heart in my throat.

“Does Evgeni know?” Keirstyn asked softly, the room was so quiet you could hear the dust settle.

“Yeah, he knows” I reply, laughing a bit. “He says he’ll drive up to see me in the off season but he knows he’ll have to go to Russia”

“It’ll work out” Keirstyn reassures and I shrug.

“I’m just scared”

“Why is that your response to everything?” Autumn asked, venom in her voice and it shocks both Keirstyn and I. “Oh poor me, I can’t do anything because I’m scared of the world”

Her imitations cause me to cower and I wrap my arms around my legs.

“You have these huge dreams, you want to live in New York, become an editor, a writer, a new yorks best selling author but you’re too scared to do anything for yourself” Autumn spat, and Keirstyn just looked at her, shocked while I looked down at my hands.

No matter how forward and harsh Autumn was about my attitude towards my future, she was completely right and I knew she meant well.

“Come on-”

“No, Keirstyn she’s right” I say, a sigh from my mouth before wiping an escaped tear. “I’m supposed to absolutely terrified, but I shouldn’t use it as an excuse and I need to go after this”

“Thank god” Autumn breathed out. “For a second I thought you were going to be mad”

“Nah, you speak the truth"

--

The next day, I was by myself again and I finished up packing. While I set the last box down in the front foyer, Geno walked in with a box of Pizza. I smiles at him, but his smile was no wear to be seen and his eyes were on nothing but the stacked boxes.

"It's weird I know" I say, shrug and take the box from him. "You really shouldn't be eating pizza on game day"

He was again silent, not saying a single word and it scared me.

"Babe?" I asked and he looked at me, his eyes unreadable and pout on his lips. “What’s wrong?”

“I no want you leave” He whines and I smile, leaving the box of pizza on the counter and pressing my body up against him.

“I’m sorry” I say, gliding my hands up his chest to behind his neck.

“It ok” He sighed, holding me tight and putting his chin on my head. “Nap”

I laughed at his mutter, grabbing the pizza and pulling him into my room, where I had the mattress on the floor. I slid onto the bed, crossing my legs and waiting for Geno to strip down and join me.

“Sorry about your loss last night” I mentioned before taking a bite of pizza. He just shrugs, lying down next to me and running a hand up my thigh. “Ready for tonight?”

“After sleep” He says, closing his eyes and snuggling under the covers. I smile, grab my phone and lie down next to him.

The girls and I had a group chat on imessage so we could all keep up. Jeff had taken Faith on the trip down to Florida, which she was extremely grateful for. The picture she sent us was of her and Jeff, which I assumed one of his team mates had taken and I was right because the next photo was of Jordan and Elias giving us a thumbs up.

Jeff and Faith are so cute, sometimes it’s so easy to tell that they don’t know what they’re doing but together, they perfect that and turn it into this care free way of life.